My latest podcast deals with powerful affirmations to overcome difficult moments in your life and how you can unlock the code using your inner strength.
Just follow the link below!
Listen to the most recent episode of my podcast: ‘I Am Strong’ Affirmation https://anchor.fm/shay-durant-duckworth/episodes/I-Am-Strong-Affirmation-e269qof
Apologies for not being present on my blog site for a week or two. I do keep a check on comments and such from my readers but I simply haven’t found the time to write.
As the title suggests, it’s been a busy period with many great events such as my youngest turning seven. This included pizza and cake on his actual birthday and then a bowling party with lots of fried party food a couple of days later.
And then my wife and I celebrated our wedding anniversary of 14 years. We seem to grow stronger as we continue our journey together and, along with our two boys, we make a great team. Just as well then, seeing as this current journey has the ability to hit a bit of turbulence. But I’ll get to that shortly.
To celebrate our anniversary and knowing that we wouldn’t be getting any childcare to have our own grown up celebration, we decided to put the big three bedroom tent up in our garden for an adventure. The kids loved it as we ate yet more pizza and kebab in the tent from the takeaway, told eerie camping stories and then slept in it through the night. My wife and I managed a bottle of fizz (or two) as the kids got to sleep first.
So the last couple of weeks have been eventful and, although there have been lots of celebratory reasons to enjoy less nutritional food and drink, there has also been an element of comfort eating. This brings me back to the turbulence.
Regular readers will know that we accepted an offer on our house in the UK and are set to leave for Portugal in the coming months. However, a few days ago we found out that the buyers of a house further down the sale chain had pulled out of their deal. The buyers of our house remain in a good position to still purchase our house though so we are hoping that the chain can be ‘repaired’ quickly and we can continue without too much time lost.
But the stress and anxiety of the waiting and chasing up phone calls to estate agents and solicitors has been telling. We’re also awaiting further news of our VISA application.
And I must admit. I have taken my eye off of my usual nutritious diet and allowed more processed foods in. Not having the motivation to prepare big meals or the inclination to choose a healthy snack over the smokey bacon crisps (I don’t even like smokey bacon crisps) has been apparent in my recent mood.
This would have added further anxiety to my life before I began studying for my Personal Training qualifications and understanding how we behave the way we do and how we react to certain events in our lives. Losing track of my discipline would have made me believe that I was failing in some way.
I used to look at myself in the mirror after a workout and feel like Jason Statham. I’d leave the gym feeling good about myself. But if I looked at myself after eating a bag of crisps I would feel disappointed and useless.
But now? I reflect almost daily on what I can improve on in my life. I ask myself, did I really need those crisps? How did my workout make me feel? Did I treat my wife and kids with the love and respect they deserve today? What one thing could improve my wellbeing tomorrow? If I answer honestly, I usually find a solution in which I can begin to map out a better pathway. It all becomes a little clearer.
I can always do better, but if I call my recent over reliance on certain foods a failure then I am missing out on a massive opportunity to learn. Mistakes, blips or regrets are simply tools to teach ourselves something different.
I’ll eat crisps again, for sure, even smokey bacon. But from tomorrow, it’ll be back on my terms. It won’t be for comfort or for convenience.
Next week will undoubtedly be another eventful one. One which will be entered with plenty of optimism. One without turbulence. One with positive results.
One with lots of spinach smoothies.
For the past eight years as a Personal Trainer and now more recently as a meditation guide and Cognitive Behavioural Therapist I have been asking people what they want from life/gym/work/relationships and I will often get a reply about what they don’t want.
It seems that we are fixated, or petrified, of what is going to or could go wrong. And maybe that is a natural response. It’s our defence mechanism. It enables us, we think, to deal with disappointment.
In my own personal experience at the moment, when I tell people about my move to Portugal, from the majority of people they will instantly say ‘but what about work?’ or what about this and what if that.
I understand their concerns. Every possible outcome has been observed by my wife and I. But the positive outcomes are the ones that we channel our energy into. In techniques such as meditation, quantum jumping, mantras and cleansing our spaces of negative energy through singing bowls we know that the vibrations that we are sending to the universe will provide positive outcomes.
I have spoken before about how the universe acts like a computer algorithm. It will respond to whatever we are focussed on.
Do you find that you start to get advertisements for your next holiday because you googled ‘cheap holiday deals’?
You might find that topics that you have researched on your phone recently will appear as ads on this blog.
The universe does the same.
So if I devote my time to the things that I want to happen in my life, the more likely it is going to happen.
The signals that I send into the universe will determine how I react to certain events in my life and the outcomes that will play out.
When you focus your energy on becoming fitter, eating healthier and setting gym goals you begin to feel better about yourself and you will start to see results much quicker.
If you focus your energy on losing your belly, banning chocolate and not planning your gym time then what you have done is send negative energy and you are more likely to feel negative from your experiences.
It is, of course, so much easier to channel this energy through meditation. A moment each day where you can type in all the positive good stuff into your computer and allow the algorithms to give you its feedback.
What I want you to do right now after you read this is to stop fearing what could go wrong and start welcoming what could go right.
Do it each day. You might be pleasantly surprised.
There are moments when I worry about putting down roots for myself and my family.
I do, however, give myself a little talking to and realise that ‘putting down roots’ can mean so many different things.
I suppose the most common way of defining the phrase is to have ‘a settled life in a particular place.’ That’s the Oxford Languages definition on Google, anyway.
And it is this description that, until I give my head a wobble, is what concerns me.
I have no affinity to where I was born, grew up or any place that I have lived. I don’t call myself a Yorkshireman and I’d prefer to be known as an Earthling than English or British.
It’s not that I dislike any particular place. I just don’t connect with it. I don’t support Leeds Utd because I was born within walking distance of Elland Road and I don’t wave the St George flag when it’s a World Cup.
And when I move to Portugal, as much as I will respect their laws and traditions, you won’t find me running through the streets in Santarem with the bulls or singing A Portuguesa at the top of my voice waving the Bandera Verde-Rubra.
Indeed, as beautiful as Portugal is, I cannot say for sure if it will be the country I will grow old and die in. One of the reasons that I crave my freedom of movement back is so that I can explore more of the continent. My new blue passport represents chains around my ankles, not freedom.
So what, then, does my rational mind interpret ‘putting down roots’ to be?
My roots are a state of mind. It is not a tangible, physical place. My roots are the principles that I live by and pass on to my children. My roots are what will determine how far my branches can reach and explore. But you cannot see my roots. And if we look at the roots of a tree, it is said that a tree can provide a day’s oxygen for up to four people. We might think that the tree just stands still, yet it is reaching out far and wide. We just don’t see it.
Roots are more than what happens on a piece of land. It is how we nourish the things around us and how we learn and teach.
My children are going through a tough time in leaving their physical roots behind. Jonas loves York and can get a bit emotional about not being so close to his home town. Finlay keeps asking about visiting Leeds again before we leave for Portugal. Explaining to them their roots as a state of mind is difficult at their ages. I understand that it is an uncomfortable feeling to be leaving the environment that they call home, especially when it is the only thing that they know in their little lives.
But I’m hoping that their experiences will help them to grow and experience stuff that they wouldn’t normally do and see. I’m hoping that they can equip themselves with a wise and worldly vision for adulthood and they build strong characters.
After all, Dolly Parton says it best…”Storms make trees take deeper roots.”
And whatever your roots are, know that every storm just makes you a little stronger.
Check out my podcast, NGU Guided Meditation , on Spotify for Podcasters: https://anchor.fm/shay-durant-duckworth
A new episode is now available on my podcast in the link above.
Enjoy, my friends.
I have just launched my podcast channel which is found in the link below. Just like any great series, perhaps the first few episodes might come across as raw. Even Friends had a great big pillar in the way for the first series in Monica’s apartment!
So once I get over the nerves of talking and recording myself for everyone to hear I think I can nail it and make it a useful tool. Hope you enjoy!
Check out my podcast, NGU Guided Meditation , on Spotify for Podcasters: https://anchor.fm/shay-durant-duckworth
I don’t really do footballing heroes. I love the sport and I enjoy supporting Liverpool, but I do it all from afar. You won’t find me on the Kop at Anfield every week singing the names of the players. After all, they don’t come to watch me at my place of work either.
Also, despite being a massive football fan, top elite football can bore me a little. VAR (video assistant referee) can slow the game down too much and the injury feigning is a drag. So paying out hundreds of pounds to watch it live doesn’t float my boat.
However, seeing the pictures of Roberto (Bobby) Firmino’s final game at Anfield was quite emotional. He’s as close to a professional footballing hero as I have. And, yes, he’s a super talented footballer, but it’s the way he conducts himself as a person that has always impressed me. For 8 years at Liverpool, he has gone about his work with modesty and humility. No wonder the fans sing ‘Sim Señor’ to him whenever he appears on the pitch.*
I wish him all the best in the future.
But I do have an outright winner to be my footballing hero and that’s my eldest son Jonas. Not only is he much better than I was at 9 years old, but he has overcome so much to continue doing what he loves to do which is to play football.
Covid halted his progress in football, but more importantly in his ability to develop his social skills. He would refuse to do weekly zoom meetings with school which were compulsory and he wouldn’t get involved in zoom meetings with his football team, Scarborough Athletic. He began with nervous ticks which he still has to control now and a trial at Leeds Utd ended with him walking off of the pitch because he felt overwhelmed. He became more and more isolated during lockdowns and he still has moments where he can get anxious in certain settings.
But on the football pitch is where he likes to express himself the most. With two feet and a great understanding of the game, he stands out when he plays.
But today he had his own ‘Sim Señor’ moment as he played his final game for his club. Of course, he managed a goal and an assist in the 2-2 game. His next team, if he wishes to pursue the game, will be in Portugal. This will be another massive step for Jonas if he joins another team having to re-establish himself in a different culture and a foreign language. So it’ll be a test for him, for sure.
But it would be foolish to underestimate him. His setbacks have given him a steely resilience. He has had to work extremely hard sometimes just to go to training or a match, depending on his anxieties. Slowly he is overcoming this but a new environment will challenge this resilience.
It is, however, his Never Give Up attitude that makes him my footballing hero but it’s not about his talents, it is for the very same traits that Bobby Firmino has that impress me the most. He isn’t the loudest on the pitch, he is happy for his teammates to get the goals and the accolades, he plays football with a smile and he just keeps his head down and gets on with it.
I hope that he can continue to thrive in Portugal.
* Sim Señor were the original words to the Bobby Firmino song as this is Brazilian Portuguese but has been changed to Si Señor by the football fans.
If you’re unsure about how your plans are working out today, whether it be a fitness goal, a career move or a relationship, consider this quote from Nelson Mandela.
“I never lose. I either win or learn.”
If something hasn’t gone to plan today, then see this experience as an opportunity to learn. Don’t retreat or accept your attempts as failure, simply learn and move on.
Keep holding on to your dreams.
I don’t know about you, but if I have any sort of drink just before bed I can guarantee that I’ll be tip toeing to the bathroom at 3 in the morning.
However, some drinks are worth having on an evening as long as you leave enough peeing time before bed.
As many of you know, I am a fan of the fruit smoothie in the morning. It ensures that I get lots of great nutrients in me ready for a busy day. But the nutribullet blender isn’t just for breakfast. I also enjoy an evening drink that promotes sleep if my recent sleep has suffered or if it’s a particularly hectic or stressful time.
This is what goes in!
Banana. Bananas are high in magnesium and potassium which are known to relax the muscles.
Handful of oats. Also contains similar relaxing properties as banana along with calcium and phosphorus.
A handful of nuts such as almonds and walnuts. Nuts contain melatonin. Melatonin is a hormone that is produced in response to sleep patterns and your circadian rhythms (internal clock) and is often used as a supplement for jet lag or insomnia.
Teaspoon of cinnamon. Cinnamon controls your blood sugar levels as it nourishes the nervous system.
Milk filled to the max line. Milk has a great source of an amino acid called tryptophan. This is another useful sleep promoter as it helps create melatonin and serotonin in the body.
I find that investing in a blender such as a nutribullet enables us to conveniently get the good stuff into our system with little fuss. So give this recipe a go and let me know how you get on!
Cheers!
We tend to only see ourselves as part of this universe. Indeed, the word ‘universe’ indicates that there’s just one. And yet we know very little about what is beyond our own galaxy. As we learn more about quantum physics, we are also becoming more open to what else is out there.
What if we could actually discover what lies beyond our galaxy within these parallel realities? What if you could discover new layers to this world and make contact with alternate versions of yourself?
This week, that is where I’ve been. This souped up variation of a visualization meditation can take you on a journey of discovery and empowerment. I felt it and I learnt a great deal about me and my future. Just for a moment, I lived it.
Before I explain more about QJM, I first need to describe to you how the universe works for us. The universe is like a Google search bar. When you type in a search on Google, the algorithm will match what it is you’re looking for. So sophisticated is this engine, that it will also begin to create ads and suggestions based on what you input into it. Well, the universe works in exactly the same way.
A vibrational frequency from your thoughts and emotions is picked up by the universe where it will begin to match your frequency into matching algorithms.
So QJM allows us to get deep inside our subconscious mind and shape our inner beliefs and expectations. Through QJM we can access dormant areas of our minds and explore desired realities. Through these focussed techniques of QJM, we can create positive outcomes and allow the universe to process this through its matching algorithms.
Quite a lot of guided meditations that I use when I feel like I need it is by Jason Stephenson on YouTube. I really would recommend that you allow yourself some time to listen and focus on his version of a Quantum Jump Manifestation. They can be a lengthy hour or two though, so do make sure that you can have an evening to yourself (or with a partner) to take the jump. You might like some time to process your experience afterwards too.
Although I’m qualified in guided meditations I’m going to continue learning and hopefully find a way of qualifying me to conduct QJM for other people, so I won’t be sharing any of my versions just yet! But if you are interested in giving it a go, check out Jason Stephenson’s QJM and tell me how you got on.
For now, keep feeding those positive thoughts to the universe.
Never Give Up PT