Tag Archives: social media

Sometimes It’s Just The Little Things

Social media would have you believe that you need to be ready for the catwalk or the front cover of Men’s Health magazine to be successful in the gym.

I also believe that we can get anxious when we see other people’s Instagram posts of them on holidays in some wintery wonderland to visit Santa, sat by a pool in an exotic location or having their picture taken with Mickey Mouse. I’ve done it myself. After seeing someone’s snaps of them and their children in Lapland I suddenly felt inadequate that I wasn’t taking my kids to see Santa in his homeland. I then checked the price of such a holiday and quickly clicked on to Wish to buy a Santa costume. The kids won’t know the difference.

But it isn’t the fault of the parents who put the photos on Instagram. They just want to show their social media friends what a great time they’re having. We rarely see ‘influencers’ taking a selfie on the days they’re feeling bloated and our Facebook friends are not as quick to post the videos where their kids are having a tantrum. No. We all prefer to show the world our best side.

And I am conscious about what I post online, especially since our move to Portugal. When I first mentioned that we were moving to Portugal, most of our friends and family would be like ‘ooh! I don’t blame you with all that sunshine’ or stuff to that effect. Throughout winter I’ve posted pictures of us dining out, in swimming pools and even having a BBQ on Christmas day. The weather, albeit not our greatest motivation for making the move, can be lovely.

But already this week in March we have had to shelter from the heat. Even the Portuguese builders were happy to find jobs to do that were in the shade during the hottest parts of the day. We are beginning to understand the need for siestas. This is where shops and cafes close for a few hours, usually around 2 until 5. People start to pull shutters down on their windows and the streets and roads empty.

As a Brit who hasn’t had this issue before, however, it can be frustrating. We need the builders to get the job done, we need builders merchants to be open for supplies and Lou and I have 20,000 square metres of land to clean before the summer. And even the amount of land would bring about comments on ‘how lovely for the kids’ it is to have so much land. It is, absolutely we will make it wonderful for us and our guests. But at the moment it is a tinder box waiting for the spark. We don’t want a few hours break in the afternoon. Daytime is when we have always got stuff done, while the kids are at school! It’s irritating, but we will have to change. Coming into spring and with summer just around the corner. We’ll need to find different moments in the day where we can work outside. One way or another we need to get it done. Time, as we are discovering, is money.

So in true form, I won’t be posting a picture of Lou and I panicking about the budget of our project. Instead I’m showing you our homemade irrigation system for our vegetable patch. The veg patch is an old chicken coup and, although we discussed having chickens in the future, we decided to use it to grow vegetables for now instead. When we moved into the property there were lots of useful hosepipes hanging around the place and several water taps and bore holes. Cutting a length of pipe and drilling holes into it has provided much needed water for our lettuce.

By the end of the day, and I guess the whole point of this blog, as we sat in the (slightly) cooler evening we talked about how satisfying it was to be creative and, most importantly, to do it together. That might sound silly. After all, we haven’t gone our separate ways to go to work etc for the past 6 months. Lou and I have done everything together. But writing a business plan, filling out VISA forms or putting furniture together isn’t as rewarding as planting some lettuce and providing them with water.

It’s part of our dream. The vision. It’s what we talked about almost every evening in the UK. The sort of veg we would grow and how self sufficient we could become is part of the package on this journey. It’s important to us. And, yes, so are the VISA forms and the flat packed book shelf, but that doesn’t excite us.

I make no apologies for showing you my punctured bit of hose pipe. For now, that’s my Lapland. It’s the ‘look at me with Mickey Mouse in Disneyland’ moment. So the next time I see the lovely pics of tinterweb friends and influencers on social media, I’ll remember my great moment making our irrigation system. Sometimes it’s just the little things.

Don’t Just Believe Me! Do Your Research!

Early on in my Personal Training career I decided to stop certain weight loss claims to grab a potential client’s attention.

Things like ‘lose a guaranteed 5 pounds a week on my new weight loss plan!’ seemed tacky and tabloid. It’s also misleading.

I also felt that the magic pills and fad diet ads that cluttered my social media feed were damaging to our health and fitness goals. But if they make money from you, they will sell it. They will claim any benefit they can in order for you to buy that product. The regulations on such claims are virtually none existent.

Social media allows us as individuals and the companies that are selling a service, to say whatever we like. Ok. We might be fact checked or receive a three day ban for going against certain guidelines, but how many people are we able to reach before it is flagged as inappropriate or false information?

And giving out falsehoods can be profitable if your face fits. A TOWIE turned influencer can successfully promote the latest diet fad. An extra from Home Alone can encourage an attack on the US Capitol. Heck! Even Katie Hopkins and Billie Piper’s ex can get the British voting public to leave the EU and destroy the economy. All by using buzzwords, soundbites and propaganda.

It has happened long before social media of course. The written press has lied to not only sell questionable products, but fund German fascist regimes ( 1933,The Mail, Lord Rothermere) and criminalise the victims of a football stadium disaster (1988, Rupert Murdoch, The Sun).

And here’s a story that proves the lack of investigative journalism in the UK for the sake of a headline. A story was put out about an England football fan who was so worried about the risk of England failing in the 2006 World Cup that he had paid £100 to insure himself against emotional trauma. The story continued that, if he could provide medical evidence that he had suffered trauma, he would receive a payout of £1 million by a particular online insurance company.

UK tabloids ran with this story, of course, but it didn’t stop there. The Guardian newspaper and the Telegraph too! It even made TV and radio news from no other than ITV, Sky and the BBC. Yes! The BBC! So it must be true, right.

No.

With a quick Google check it was discovered that this guy had been involved in insurance stories before using the same company. One involving insurance on his mortgage and, remarkably, he was the same England football fan who had insured his mental well-being at the previous World Cup in Japan in 2002.

As it turned out, this guy was a marketing director who specialised in promoting web based companies. He had successfully promoted the online insurance company whilst proving that the media, including the UK’s national broadcaster, were lazy in their attempts to bring us factual news.

The health and fitness industry relies heavily on the media running these kinds of remarkable stories in order to get the word out that their product really works!

‘Gemma lost 6 stone by drinking apple cider vinegar!’

‘Bryan gained a six pack by eating fish and chips every day!’

‘Gaynor looks drop dead gorgeous in figure hugging dress after this six week nutrition plan!’

And even I’m a part of that. I appreciate you reading my articles, I really do, but don’t just take my word for it! If there’s something that resonates with you in a health and fitness blog then do a bit of research and find out if it is right for you. Are there any other experts out there that are backing up what I’m saying?

The bottom line is that you have to do your own research when it comes to stuff that you read and hear. You’ll get to know credible sources. You’ll be more confident getting your information from certain people or publications. Ask people that you trust in your own life. Once you have gathered the evidence then you can make more informed choices. And if it is anything to do with your health and wellbeing, then being armed with informed choices is super important to you.

Understanding Change

In my previous career I worked as a support worker for adults with learning difficulties and autism. This gave me an insight on human behaviour and how to understand people with a different perception to the world we live in.

One of their main challenges was to be as independent as possible despite being in a society demanding that they change. The organisations offering support to these people and many of their workers were fully committed to enabling their service users to live as independently as possible. They weren’t looking for everything to be done for them. They might have just needed some support and encouragement to live THEIR life in a strange ‘neurotypical’ world. And yet society can often want to change people.

The people I supported often got frustrated at certain rules and laws that had to be applied and demands that were put upon them to be more ‘normal’.  I didn’t change anybody that I worked with. I just enabled them to do what they wanted to do safely. Any positive changes to their lives that they wished to make would be encouraged by me and I would support them through it. That was my job.

Becoming a Personal Trainer was, I thought, an entirely different role and of course, on the surface it really is. It is only when you get to understand human behaviour that you begin to find similarities. And then all of that level of understanding comes right back.

“We keep trying to change people’s behaviours without a full understanding of how and why those behaviours arise”

The fitness industry does just as much damage as it does good. It is full of crooks and scammers who pray on people wanting to change their appearance. From miracle pills and drinks, bogus PT’s, weight loss coaches (failed PT’s), social media influencers, celebrity fitness DVD’s and Doctors spewing 5:2, Fast 800 and intermittent fasting all over the tabloids. We are bombarded with us changing how we look. Perhaps, in their eyes, we should all look a certain way. Or, let’s be honest, they want to make us feel so bad about ourselves so we pay them in a desperate attempt to be ‘fixed’ by them.

But they don’t know you or I. Why do I keep getting promotions for fat loss pills that work within a week (there’s before and afters to prove it) on my Facebook feed every day? Do they think I need it? Even as a PT who, for most days, feels comfortable in my own skin feels a little self conscious. How must the regular person feel?

I get miracle hair growth lotion ads too which is definitely more appropriate for my feed and yet I have no desire to have a full head of hair. I don’t want it. They. Won’t. Change. Me.

But they want my money. They want me to want to change my appearance.

And although my role as a PT is to exert change to an individual, it isn’t their appearance that I’m looking to change, even if that is what they come to me wanting.

“The journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. It’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.”

Goals need to be set when you begin a fitness journey. But once you have set those goals you must put it in an envelope and safely store it away for a while. Today you don’t need it. Today, you just need to know what you have to do TODAY. Know it, plan it and stick to it.

My job isn’t simply telling someone to run faster, lift heavier or eat better foods. I need to know WHY they should want to run faster, lift heavier and eat better foods. If I am to support them on their journey, then I need to know their perception of themselves. I offer support but also realize that I cannot tell anybody what to do. My job is to allow the individual to makes their choices, embrace the victories and process the failures. It is THEIR journey.

I don’t change anybody that I work with. I just enable them to do what they want to do safely. Any positive changes to their lives that they wish to make is encouraged by me and I support them through it. That’s my job.

Bouncebackability

Throughout my articles I have sometimes quoted the likes of Shakespeare and Einstein to highlight my point. Words or phrases, certainly by those who can articulate it much better than I, can resonate with people.

So I never thought that I would be quoting a word invented by ex footballer Iain Dowie. Bouncebackability was said by Dowie in 2003 to describe his team’s ability to…well, bounce back from defeat. It eventually made the dictionary. And we all have the ability to have it.

Never giving up when you feel at your lowest point, coming back from a desperate situation or bouncing back from a bad day are all within your capabilities. I just need you to realize it.

Things can spiral quickly or maybe it just feels like that. In my experience it can be something brewing inside that creeps out over time. Some days it feels like your head is just above water, but some days it feels like you’re drowning.

Your bouncebackability might be that you missed a gym session or two and, instead of quitting, you got back in there when the time was right for you.

Your bouncebackability could be that you had a week of poor meal choices and, instead of giving up on your health goals, you brushed the week off and started again with better choices.

Your bouncebackability might when you recognize that your alcohol consumption is beginning to affect your mindset and your health, but you make the decision to not bring any into the house for a week or two to reset.

Your bouncebackability could be a difficult time at home but you seek help from friends or somebody who will listen.

You have bouncebackability. You are resilient and strong. And sometimes to be able to show this strength you need to admit to your struggles. That, in itself, is the first sign of your resilience and strength.

What is put on the socials doesn’t impress me much. The guy who seems to have it all or the female who poses to her millions of followers have their low points too. They have struggles. Your friend who you think is always happy-go-lucky will have times of sadness or depression. Be kind to them. Cut them some slack if they haven’t got back to your message or they seemed a bit off with you.

They’ll bounce back. Just like you do.

Today I Am A Monster

Today I am a demonic monster. That is the image that I put into my blog and on social media. Therefore it must be true.

Yet it isn’t, is it? Because behind the keyboard and with a click of a button I can tell you what I am and it is believed. Social media allows us all to be whatever we want to be. But social media isn’t real life.

If I wanted to super reduce my calories for a few weeks, suck my belly in, take a posed picture of myself and filter it I would look ripped. An instant six pack.

But I don’t want to dupe my followers or trainees. I don’t want to give people the wrong idea of what having a healthy body looks like.

I get dozens of images of posed pictures of trainers on my feed asking me to ‘sign up’ or ‘try this’ because of the algorithms on social media. It assumes that it is giving me the content most relevant to me. I’ve been in the industry too long and I’ve witnessed every trick in the book.

There might be 99% of people that their post will reach that smells the bullshit, but the 1% who buy the magic diet pill will make them a lot of money.

On social media I see people chuffed to bits sharing their bouquet of flowers on valentine’s, but are miserable as sin with their partners for the rest of the year.

I see family photos of a family and their angelic kids. A lovely moment captured yes, but we never see the kids kicking and screaming at each other and their parents losing their minds five minutes after their lovely photo. And it happens. I’ve just described my family and I know we’re not the only ones.

But it leaves the observer confused, frustrated and depressed.

Why can’t I look like them?

Why don’t I get flowers like that?

Why won’t my children behave as well as those kids?

But all we have seen is a snippet, a moment deemed suitable to share to the world. Add a bit of filter and we can all look like the idyllic movie star or The Waltons.

Social media is not real.

I am not a stage ready bodybuilder but I can be. I haven’t got hair but I can have. I am not the perfect father but I can show you my perfect father moments. I’m not the perfect husband but I can show you the flowers I bought my wife.

I am not a monster and nor am I perfect, but if I wanted you to believe that I was either one, then I am a filtered picture away from you believing that I was.