It’s a beautiful September morning in Scarborough, England today. The sun is shining, the air is crisp and the sea gently glistens. For all my needs to leave for Portugal, I can’t imagine a better setting for what could be my last ever personal training session in the UK.
The park at Shuttleworth garden once again provides a wonderful outdoor gym. The views are spectacular of the sea and the castle in the distance. The animals came to observe what I was doing too. One squirrel in particular seemed very interested in my kettlebell.
This park is special to me. Once lockdown restrictions were relaxed and exercise in parks were permitted, this was one of the parks I would use. The lady who I trained today is special too as I trained her throughout 2020 and has been a weekly trainee with me for over four years now. So her dedication has been fantastic. Next week, if the weather is as lovely as today and I have the time in-between packing etc, I’d like to think we could get one more session in at Shuttleworth garden.
I like to live in the moment so I often forget to take pictures. I also didn’t want any unnecessary movements to scare the squirrel away, but I think I captured the moment that the squirrel scurried over to see what I was doing as I set up my equipment.
Maybe he wanted to join in, but that would be nuts.
As my wife and I were walking down our street this week the first sightings of Christmas decorations were spotted.
“Them at number 23 have gone early,” we seemed to simultaneously comment.
Every year we look for the early birds “going early” and every year we judge whether it’s a touch too early or not.
We’ve said the same thing for years…
“They get earlier every year, they do.”
“Channel 5 have gone early with their Christmas films this year.”
“Zoe Ball has gone early with playing Mariah Carey on the radio.”
We seem to have an issue with people going too early with their Christmas celebrations. Indeed, no sooner have the Pennywise masks left the supermarket shelves and the After Eights are stocked up. I do cringe at the thought of consumerism that is involved which in turn makes us all go too early.
However, I don’t blame anyone for wanting to bring forward the festive cheers. The last few years have been tough and, just this year alone in the UK, we’ve had political unrest with a few different Prime Ministers, a cost of living crisis, the Queen’s passing with a few weeks of mourning and Neighbors getting cancelled. It’s been a strange year.
So when I woke up listening to a Michael Bublé Christmas classic this morning I did feel a little cheer and a festive spirit lift me. It was about 6:45 and Finlay, my youngest, had asked Alexa for Christmas songs. I wouldn’t have chosen to be awake so early on a Saturday with no school or work to get up for and Finlay hasn’t yet mastered how to ask Alexa to turn the volume down. But if I’m to get woken up by anything, it could’ve been a lot worse than Bublé.
And I can just imagine what the neighbors will have been saying…
My wife and I had the perfect chance for a weekend without the kids. It is my birthday on Monday and their grandparents had offered to take the boys to their house so that we could celebrate my birthday with a meal out or an evening at the cinema.
It’s rare to have an opportunity for a ‘date night’ or to have any significant time together so it was very tempting. But I didn’t want it to happen this weekend. I wanted my wife and two boys with me.
It’s perhaps a cliché thing to say, but when my wife asked me what I wanted for my birthday I said ‘my family with me’. At 44, other than a new pack of undies or socks, my desire to unwrap expensive things or something new and exciting has gone. Undies are exciting. Yes. I have reached an age where a new pair of undies without any holes thrills me. And I’m happy with that.
As a kid I would open up a birthday card and a tenner would fall out. After pretending to not notice the money and instead read the verse of the card I would thank the person and then look in shock as I eventually found the ten pound note which had dropped into my lap. It was an awkward moment. I was always very grateful for people’s generosity at birthday and Christmas time and I still am, but sometimes the bestest gift you can receive is the closeness and love of your family. You can’t buy it.
Seeing as my birthday landed on a school and work day this year, we decided to have a ‘birthday weekend’. We like to extend our celebrations. For example, Eurovision is watched from the semi finals throughout the week with flags on the walls, not just on Saturday’s finale. And daytime Christmas films on Channel 5 are starting to get recorded already for us to binge on a November Sunday.
Our boys love a celebration. It usually involves cake and pizza so why not?! And for Lou and I it involves wine, so we love a celebration too! But it wouldn’t have felt right to send them to their grandparents this weekend. We played Monopoly, went for a coastal walk to the local pub for a few games of pool and managed two movies with copious amounts of food. And I was allowed to open a present before the big day too! Seeing as I complain about being cold so much, the boys had decided that a fluffy house coat is what I needed. Once they were all partied out, they went to bed and I could pop open a bottle of fizz. The coat stayed on.
As I write this I’m feeling a bit knackered myself and my birthday hasn’t even arrived yet. So I don’t think there’s going to be much celebrating tomorrow. Maybe whilst they’re at school, I could have an old man nap to find my energy for the week ahead! It is my birthday after all.
Yesterday my wife Louise and I celebrated 13 years of marriage. We’ve been together now for almost 16 years and we are still making a strong team.
As with any healthy relationship, we have had testing times too. But we work hard at keeping what we have because it is special. I think it comes down to communication. We try not to let things fester and address our issues by talking to each other as soon as we can. We support each other. Sometimes I’m the stronger one and sometimes it’s Lou.
I knew that I couldn’t continue my Support Worker career and be the father that I wanted to be. Lou made me believe in myself that a change was possible. The hours and the risks were making me unhappy and I knew that I would miss out on being a dad to our new born. Also, the wages aren’t enough for the responsibility of a Support Worker. Lou knew that health and fitness was my number one passion and she told me that I could be a PT. The cost of the course and the extra hours in attending it each weekend for almost a year on top of my full time job would be difficult to do, but Lou said that I must do it. She knew how important is was to me.
And then I returned the favour! A few years later and being a full time mum to two little boys, Lou needed to get back into work. I encouraged her to follow her dreams in going to college to learn holistic therapies. She now runs a successful business in the centre of Scarborough.
We could’ve played it safe. Staying in the same City that we knew, plodding on in the same jobs. But to get to this stage in our lives, we have lived in three different cities, two towns, 6 houses. We’ve created 3 successful businesses. We have worked together as support workers, Cafe managers, nightclub bar staff and shortbread biscuit entrepreneurs. Together, we’re quite a formidable team. And we’re not afraid to change something if it isn’t working or it is no longer enjoyable. As individuals we have changed and our relationship has evolved because of our need to change something that is not making us happy. Like I say, we don’t let anything fester.
Yesterday was a hoot. We both took the day off work and played the tourists in our hometown of Scarborough. When you live somewhere it’s easy to miss the beauty or the fun bits of it. Life becomes about getting to work and back, the weekly shop and getting the kids to school and extra curricular stuff. So yesterday we made it just about us and the fun to be had on South Bay and an evening meal at one of our favourite restaurants. Just looking through my photos it looks more like a pub crawl! I’m holding up a glass of something alcoholic in almost every picture! But it definitely wasn’t like that. I had appointments this morning so I stayed very sensible.
So here’s to the next 13 years. We’ll see how many more houses we can live in. One thing we haven’t done yet is take our business ideas to a different country and we are desperate to give that a go. Watch this space!
I walked up to my 8 year old son’s wardrobe with dread. I knew, as soon as I opened the double doors just very slightly a heap of clothes, football shirts, teddies and toys would spill out. As much as we ask him to tidy his bedroom we know that anything on the floor will get thrown into the wardrobe if he can’t find a home for it. We also tackle the cupboard often too. For some reason I’m the nominated football shirt sorter. My wife is the school uniform organizer. There are so many different football shirts so I feel like I’ve got the raw deal here . I put them in their correct place either folded for footy practice the next day by his bed, in his wardrobe or in his younger brothers drawer if they are small shirts. And if they have the shirts to match then the same procedure has to happen for them. The socks too.
But I can’t put all of the blame on our son’s lack of tidying up skills. Also inside of this wardrobe is loads of old clothes that no longer fit the boys. The tractor t-shirt that they both wore as babies, mittens, dungarees, shorts from their first summer holidays, coats from a few winters ago. I remember their first ever snowman that they built in those. I think that this wardrobe would be much more organized if mum and dad could just let go.
We’ve got so much better at not hoarding so much stuff. We’re both sentimental so selling or throwing our kids clothes can be tough but we do have periods in the year where we have clear outs. Certain coats, mittens and dungarees always remain though. They have special memories that we just can’t let go it seems. A tatty old Baby Jake book will always be remembered for the late nights getting our eldest to sleep as a baby. I knew the book by heart. How could we throw that?!
Funnily enough I’m not sentimental about the big, life changing stuff. I’m from Leeds and I moved away about 14 years ago. Apart from fleeting visits to see family occasionally I have no desire to go back. I have not once considered going back to the Corn Exchange for old times sake or standing at the steps of College of Technology all teary eyed. Stepping back in time seems daunting. But for some reason, the feather that my son picked up when he was one and a half remains at the bottom of the takeaway drawer in the kitchen. My mind pictures the moment every time I see it.
I have always wanted to reinvent myself in some way. Standing still or looking back doesn’t sit well with me. If I’m not happy with something I move on. I won’t dwell on the things that make me anxious. I didn’t like my birth name so I changed it. I don’t like where I live or work then I change it. And for the ultimate challenge if I don’t like my body, I change it. Selling up and moving on has come easily to my wife and I. In our 15 years together Scarborough has become our 5th town or city and we’re living in our 6th house. And that’s not necessarily because we disliked where we lived but because we found a new challenge elsewhere.
I have gone from a senior in a day center, restaurant manager, confectionery business owner, market stall holder, support worker, Personal Trainer and now Online Coach in the time that my wife and I have known each other and I know that she has played a huge part in those successes. She has her own success story. As for the failures we take them on the chin and move on.
I proposed to my wife in the Boboli Gardens in Florence. During that trip we created a travel journal and collected receipts, napkins and photos to put in it. Of course, we still have that. Looking back through that feels like a life time ago. I felt young and free spirited. Now, I often feel old with the occasional glimmer of free spirit! But that glimmer comes from my job as a husband, a dad and to my work and while I have those then that glimmer will always be there.
And if it’s an old tractor T-shirt in the wardrobe or a feather in the takeaway drawer that has to remind me, then they are worth keeping.
The recent successes of my clients taking on the 20MWC has prompted me to keep the programme open. I often develop new challenges which I will announce in due course but the 20MWC is a keeper due to its high demand and the feedback I have received.
The beauty of this challenge is that it solves the issues of some of the biggest concerns for those wanting to begin a fitness journey. Time is the number one concern for most people and it holds them back at beginning an exercise routine in the first place. And then there’s the issue of where to exercise. I have worked with many people who chose to exercise without a gym membership and I think that we all discovered alternatives during gym closures in the past two years. You can exercise anywhere… especially for just 20 minutes a day.
But it’s not just about staying active. Build into the 20MWC is the calories and macro calculator for a trainee to keep on track of their nutrition targets. And the best bit is that I never ban any food. Those who have read my views already will know that I believe that banning foods can be counterproductive. By the end of week 4, my trainees have completed 400 minutes of exercise in their chosen environment and have been able to balance their calorie and macro intake without ommiting any food types with fantastic results.
Indeed, it has become such a huge success that some trainees who have completed this challenge want to take it up again. Of course, I raise the bar for round two!
If you would like to begin this challenge or enquire about any of my other online PT work that might be of interest to you email me at shay.pt@hotmail.com.
Never Give Up PT 