Tag Archives: reflection

A Non-negotiable

Sometimes a friend will say to me, ‘You’re training again?! Are you not scared of injury or over training?’

I train Monday to Friday for an average of 90 minutes each session. That’s 7 and a half hours of training in a week consisting of 168 hours. It’s the least I could do. So no, I don’t over train. And injury happens when you don’t train or when you train and do it wrong.

Before marriage and kids came along I would easily do double the amount each week but I didn’t have a clue. My 20 year old self wanted to out lift everybody else whatever the cost, even after a night out of smoking, drinking and shoving any recreational drug into me I could find. Yes, you’d still find me in the gym the next day damaging my lumbar spine. But because I was not training correctly, it didn’t matter how long I spent in the gym. My results were very average for a young man who had a naturally lean physique. I wish I could train my 20 year old self now.

No matter how tired my kids are, as they go to bed they must brush their teeth. Also, on getting up on a morning they brush their teeth. It’s a non-negotiable. They even have a penguin egg timer so when they flip it they keep brushing for the two minutes that it takes for the penguin to reach the bottom. Just 4 minutes a day. But it is so important to their health. They have 23 hours and 56 minutes each day to ruin their teeth, so it is important to…A. Do it, and B. Do it correctly. Hopefully this routine will teach them the importance of clean and healthy teeth and they will become mindful of the other 23 hours and 56 minutes.

This is how I view training. I wouldn’t stop brushing my teeth because I couldn’t be bothered. I wouldn’t start peeing my pants because going to the toilet takes up too much time. Just like performing the every day tasks like brushing my teeth or going to the toilet, training is non-negotiable.

For all of it’s aesthetic rewards, keeping a healthy mindset is what keeps me driven. Once the penguin is on the move, I have no choice.

I used to have bad days. Like really bad. Days where I couldn’t get out of bed. These were the days that brushing my teeth didn’t matter. Taking each breath at a time was my only priority. Coping with my demons until perhaps the next day became more bearable for me to move. Sometimes it’s the little things like getting to the bathroom that are actually a massive step.

My experiences are why I have my non-negotiable rule. Training isn’t about wanting to do it or not. I just do it. And if I get a phone call to say my kids are sick and need picking up from school, or I have a flat tyre, or my lucky squatting pants are in the wash and I can’t train that day, I’ll make up the time on the next day.

I’m a busy working dad. Life happens. Sometimes I go to squeeze out the toothpaste and there’s literally nothing left. But teeth are precious, so I buy a new tube as soon as I can and my kids will brush their teeth at the next convenient time.

The penguin is on the move. Are you?

‘Life happens’. I get that. Tomorrow is my first day back into society after my Covid isolation. It’s been a tough week. But we have to make sure that, just because we acknowledge that ‘life happens’, it isn’t what is inscribed on our headstone.

Tomorrow, the penguin will start its timer. I need to be ready to go.

Shouty dad has gone…

I’m interested in self reflecting. I’ve done it since being a kid and I always found it as a monkey on my back at the time. I didn’t want to think too much about how I reacted to certain situations. I wanted things to wash over me a bit more. Now, rather than be tortured on my behaviours and if I said or did the right thing, I use it as a tool to improve.

I reflect almost daily. Just a quiet time where I can replay back certain situations in my head. And it’s no surprise to those who know me, seeing as I’m there so often, that a minute or two between sets in the gym is a good time for me to think. The gym is my therapy. My meditation. A time for self reflection. Who am I? What am I becoming? To answer this I need to reflect on what I have done.

My thoughts often turn to my kids. I’m very hands on in their lives and they are pretty much my world. But as I rest from my latest set and I smile when I picture my kids faces, my heart begins to sink at how I snapped over their latest bickering with each other or my ranty voice when they didn’t listen to my instructions. I can be a shouty dad. I hate that.

I can’t just recognise my faults, click my fingers and change. Nobody can. But, much like training a muscle, I believe we can train our behaviours to become what we actually want to be. Sure, I’m a caring, loving dad. My kids love me. We tell each other often that we love each other. We hug daily. But I knew that I had to train away shouty dad. Sooner or later, my kids would come to resent me and I would be in a state of anger forever. I had to reflect daily on what I could do better in these tense situations. And I think I am getting better. But I need to keep training my behaviour and keep checking myself. If I become complacent then I lose my consistency. And consistency, again, just like training the body, is key.

Shouty dad has gone. I’m not saying that shouty dad won’t make a visit the next time my youngest draws on the curtains again. He might make an appearance. But I firmly believe calm dad will tap him on the shoulder and tell him to sling his hook. Calm dad has got this one under control thanks very much!