planning – Never Give Up PT

Mind Mapping

Yesterday was a productive day. We got stuff done. And it was important that we did as the kids were at the coast with a holiday club which meant that we had more hours in the day to complete tasks. But it did come at a price.

When the evening came and the kids were in bed we simply had nothing else to give to each other. We worked through very hot temperatures and met appointments in town to get relevant licences filed which meant that we were knackered both physically and mentally. At one point Lou mentioned that we were like Challenge Aneka as she put a coat of paint on here, spreading compost there and signing documents to be emailed.

The Challenge Aneka analogy is very accurate. We have a deadline, we are being followed by a camera person and I look good in lycra and a blonde wig.

Ok, forget the last one. But the others are true.

The last couple of hours of the day, however, was a case of us silently watching Superstore on Netflix and not communicating with each other. Talking, it seemed, had become too difficult to do. One after the other the episodes of Superstore turned into seasons. Each one becoming not as good as the previous series. ‘No wonder they cancelled it’, I thought to myself. I wanted to say that to Lou, but the words didn’t come out.

We’re not unique. This is a trap that we sometimes fall into just like many of my trainees. We can lose track of the important stuff. We try to juggle too much, often worrying about the little things. We forget about prioritising and we end up spinning plates only to see them all crash to the floor.

Our particular plates, albeit wavering rather than spinning at full throttle, haven’t quite crashed. But if we don’t address it quickly, we will find ourselves in a rut of simply existing and not living the life that we want.

So as productive as yesterday was, our relationship and our personal mental health suffered. Today we needed to strike a balance. We decided on a mind map.

We all plan differently. For me, I like to write down what I need to do. Whether it be for the day ahead, for over the weekend or for the full week. It’s the personal trainer in me. I’ve written thousands of training plans that require following a plan. I’ve always remained flexible with my plans, after all, stuff happens. Life happens. But generally, the very fact that I have a written plan of action that I can attempt to execute lowers my anxiety and, most importantly, enables me to methodically work my way through the plan.

Trainees didn’t just come to me in the gym to help with their clean and press. There is often an underlying issue in why they seem to struggle in reaching a particular goal.

Likewise, I don’t need help in how to paint, treat wood, mix cement or plaster. But I found that I do need help in how to juggle my time and plan when to do this while simultaneously being a fun loving father and husband.

So this morning we didn’t get stuck into the painting, grouting and fixing. We spent the first hour mind mapping.

We scheduled what needed to be done. We gave timelines to each activity. We organised the day onto paper, ticking off each one as we completed it. We even made sure that one of these activities was to take a trip into Sertá for lunch together. We don’t always want our leisure time to be written into our list of jobs for the day but if life gets a little on top of us now and again then why not?! It is important to recognise these things.

Author Alan Lakein wrote,”Planning is bringing the future into the present so that you can do something about it now.”

We can’t achieve anything without planning, however one chooses to do it. After all, if you don’t plan which way the wind is blowing, you could end up pissing into it. It gets messy.

Mind planning got us another productive day today, but it also got us some important time together where we could chat and enjoy each other’s company and not just drift through day to day, barely having conversation. After all, we won’t achieve our family goals if we can’t survive as a family. No matter how good I am at painting.

Chapter 5

Some books have chapters that are just a page or two long. Others can be twelve or more. But generally, with the more contemporary styles, we see chapters at around five pages. This advice is what many novice writers are given as a guide and it equates to about 5-6 thousand words.

I like that there are no set rules to the size of a chapter in a book. I’m not good with rules. Of course, I’m not a total anarchist. I follow most rules. I would, for example, respectfully follow the rule that I had to wear a gym shirt belonging to the commercial gym that I trained at even though I didn’t work for them. A silly rule, I thought, but I towed the line.

I stick to speed limits on the road, I pay my bills on time and I push the toothpaste out from the bottom of the tube. Ok. That last one is my wife’s rule and it’s an important one.

And then there’s the GNR. That is the name of the Portuguese police. If they pull you over in the car or stop you in the street you must have your documents on hand to prove that you are able to be in the country. They can be quite intimidating. Their uniform is much more military and their role isn’t the same as the police in the UK. You won’t see the GNR dancing at a street parade or being questioned by a youtuber calling themselves an ‘auditor’. If they want to see my documents, it is not the time for me to start questioning their rules. I know the punishment for questioning where I squeeze the tube of toothpaste from, I dread to think of what the consequences are for arguing with the GNR.

But if I were to write a book about my journey over the past year, I would make the chapters short, snappy and to the point. That would be my rule. The law, in fact. For example, if I were writing the chapter on my current situation, it would read something like…

“The builders came, renovated the guest house and left.”

There. Chapter done. Move on. Otherwise it becomes boring and tedious.

But this chapter is never ending, it seems. I’d like it to be over so that I can continue with my story. The novel ‘The Passenger’ has a chapter that weighs in at a mighty 62 pages. This arrives at chapter 5 in the book.

Maybe my life is a chapter 5. Sure, I feel like a passenger as I eagerly wait to begin renting out the guest house and promoting my fitness events. This anxiety compounded in the knowledge that I need to start making an income very soon. Chapter 5 has become extremely costly.

If this story continues similarly to the careful planning that was undertaken long before pen was put to paper, then I know that this chapter isn’t forever. It’s a means to an end. Every story must knit together to make any sense. Perhaps a lengthy chapter is often a middle bit that is necessary in creating the beginning, middle and the end. It is a summary of how the story began and the direction in which it will end. Therefore, my chapter 5 must be a vital component in the whole telling of the story.

But I’m becoming impatient.

My one rule break right now would be to create a story with one page chapters. At least to get to the exciting bits. I have so much to be grateful for and my blogs, had they acted as chapters of a book, kind of tell the story of my journey to my readers so far. But this chapter seems different. This is the part of the story that either makes or breaks the leading character.

Chapter 5 is a long road which has to be accepted as part of the journey (or story) for a complete ending to be written. Without chapter 5, we wouldn’t know the ending. So what’s the point in any journey (or story) if we can’t endure a chapter 5?

I have met many people on their own personal journeys who seem to call on me when they get to their very own chapter 5. They feel a bit stuck. Like, they know where they wanna be but can’t find a way out to the other side. And as I tell them, exactly as I tell myself, it is quite normal. Sometimes we all feel like a passenger when we want to be the one in control. Chapter 5, as long assed as it might be, leads only to a new chapter as long as we keep on reading. And we keep reading because we know the ending can be good. Not just good but life changing.

But being the main character feels different from the observer looking on. It’s like when we scream at the TV screen to the character being chased in a horror movie. We give them sensible, logical answers for the character to escape. But the character, in their emotional state, never thinks straight. Decisions solely based on emotion can sometimes lead to poor judgement. As Alfred Adler said, “Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.”

Now is a good time to remember that quote as I drudge through chapter 5.

If you feel like you’re stuck in chapter 5, ask yourself how you can develop your story for the next chapter. If you can create a positive narrative to it, the ending of your story could be a real page turner with a great ending. You’re the author. Chapter 5 doesn’t have to last forever.

Injury Time

You stand on the sideline watching your team defend their delicate one goal advantage as the onslaught of attack after attack comes at them. As the coach, there’s very little you can do now. You’ve set the team up, made the substitutions and given your encouragement from the dug out. They’re almost over the line, but you can’t rule out one last big chance falling to their number 9.

Ex Manchester United manager, Alex Ferguson called it ‘squeaky bum time.’

I hate the expression, but I get it. Even though it’s just a football match he’s referring to.

My family and I are in injury time. We’ve done the prep and a lot of the hard work. But perhaps, as we wait for a completion date, money transfers and an upcoming consulate meeting, our nerves will be tested in these final moments even more than the past 12 months. It could, as each email and phone call passes by, be the strongest we’ve had to be thus far.

The email from the solicitor feels like another aerial challenge inside our six yard area. The number of the estate agents coming up on our phone is like a penalty appeal from the opposition crowd. We just need the final whistle.

With a chain of house sellers and buyers behind us, we can only hope that we hear the final whistle soon. We’re fully aware of what the implications of a house sale involving a chain can be, even deep into injury time.

My clients have all heard me say these words before…Trust the process.

Indeed, a good coach will have meticulously accounted for every eventuality with their client. I’ve programmed for the positive times, where the client is motivated and keen. But then I have to programme the not so easy moments where the client feels low and doesn’t hit targets.

There needs to be a plan A, B, C and beyond! But as long as you trust the process then the end result will be the right one.

Some of the greatest football managers of my time have trusted 100% in their project. Ferguson, Guardiola, Klopp rely on their ability and the team that they have built.

And so a trainee must also believe in themselves and their coach. Achieving great things doesn’t work otherwise.

Lou and I trust our process in completing the sale of our house and successfully obtaining the VISA for our move to Portugal. And beyond that, we are fully confident in our ability to put our business plans into action.

But it doesn’t mean that we are sitting comfortably. After all, nobody wants to go to extra time and penalties.

Be Committed

I write this as a kind of message to myself. I’m currently needing to muster all of my positive energy to remain committed to our project of creating our Wellbeing Centre in Portugal.

And that’s not because I don’t want to do it or cannot be bothered to continue with the process. Far from it. But it’s because I’m scared.

Yesterday we had a phone call from our estate agents. We are 8 weeks into the sale of our house in Scarborough and each day is a nervous one as we hope that the chain stays in tact and we complete the sale. We’ve had the estate agent call before on a previous sale and it was to say that the buyer had pulled out. So we’re on tenterhooks now.

However, yesterday’s call was a good one. All being well, they said, the sale could be complete within two weeks.

Two weeks!

That’s much earlier than our expected date of early August. My wife and I looked at each other. Hearts racing at the news. I think I mouthed a swear word. My wife just said,”What are we doing?!!”

Portugal now seems very real. Visas seem very real. Finding and buying a house, a car…oh and driving a car on the opposite side of the road, arranging for our stuff to be sent over, schools for the kids, building our business, learning the language and generally putting ourselves in a very different life to what we are used to. It’s all very real now.

But whatever it is that we want to achieve, being committed to the plan and the ultimate goal is an absolute necessity. It would’ve been easy during the past few months to talk ourselves out of it and simply carry on with our current life. We are happy. The kids are happy. But we committed to a goal that we have dreamt about for many years. It’s not a whim. Indeed, it has been planned for over ten years or more. And even before my wife and I had met each other, we had hopes of moving abroad. It’s only when the UK left the EU did we pluck up the courage to do it.

The other necessary ingredient to reach your goals is to admit that sometimes it is getting tough or you are scared. I say it to myself. I say it to my wife. I even put it out to the world in my blogs.

Rewarding stuff in life isn’t meant to be easy to obtain. It should be difficult.

It could be going to the gym for the first time or having your first PT appointment. It might be applying for a job in your dream career. It could be setting up your own business or entering a new relationship. There will be times that you will be scared about the outcome, but you must trust the process.

The house, the yurts, the massage rooms, the gym and the schools won’t fall into our lap once we are in Portugal. And we’ve already talked about the strain that such a massive move can have on a relationship. Truth be told, I’m absolutely bricking it.

But I’m also committed. I’m committed to the project and I’m committed to doing this with my wife, best friend and business partner.

I just need to trust the process.

A Relentless Pursuit

An influential coach in Leeds I used to work with recently spoke about his latest challenge at a recent event he participated in and highlighted “the relentless pursuit of better.”

Despite performing well, he was left slightly disappointed that he didn’t meet his intended target for the event.

Seb Cook demands it of himself and this enthusiasm is passed on to those he coaches.

But the term “the relentless pursuit of better” hit me. This will mean something different to every individual, this is what good coaches do, we find out what our trainees need and want. And much like Seb, every good coach will have their own version of “better” that they pursue.

I still have the drive and hunger to hit PB’s in the gym, but for a few years now my version of a better me is being a good dad, husband and friend. It’s about remaining in control and not getting so angry or upset if things don’t go my way. It’s about balancing my life and remaining grounded.

But I don’t believe that any of these would be possible to achieve without the commitment, dedication and discipline that going to the gym almost every day has given me.

For others it might be a long walk each day and meeting their step count. Or it could be sticking to a yoga class a few times a week. It could be running, climbing, swimming. Whatever each individual finds that gets them excited about doing it is a way of unlocking their potential. It begins their pursuit of better.

And, of course, you don’t even need to move to do it. In recent years I’ve found meditation to be a great source of self awareness and reflection. It makes me a better person.

Seb wasn’t looking for perfection in his event. He just keeps striving for better each time. This will be a success, yet, just one event will never define it as much.

Perhaps entrepreneur Howard Getson says it perfectly when he spoke about success when he said, “Success is not about an event or an outcome. It comes from the relentless pursuit of something better.”

So whatever you do tomorrow, make it a little bit better than today. And my number one piece of advice for making that happen is to prepare. Every day from now, prepare something for tomorrow and carry it out. Start your relentless pursuit.

The Great Under Cracker Wearing Planning Person

So, what have you got planned this week? What steps have you put in place to make sure you get stuff done?

I’m not the type that expects us to be on the go all the time and we MUST be always busy with something. I enjoy down time with a series on Netflix or watching about five episodes of Come Dine With Me in one night (I know, we’re odd). But to comfortably manage the down time, it’s good to have a plan of action for the stuff that needs to get done first.

It is Sunday evening. To be honest it’s got to that time of day where I’ll be happy to get the kids to bed and lay on the sofa in my under crackers watching people slate each other’s dinner parties. But before I do, I just need to give a little thought to my week ahead. Planning a packed lunch for tomorrow will only take ten minutes. Sorting my gym bag out, 5 minutes. I don’t book onto gym classes but if I did I’d do it right now before it gets filled up. I know the days and roughly the times I will train. My diary is sorted for my appointments and I’ve discussed what the family activity will be on Wednesday when we all have the day together.

I’m not the best organised person. I’m quite laid back with my approach to planning. But I know that I need to give myself a kick up the arse sometimes so that, come tomorrow, I’m not left rushing about because I didn’t bother to give any consideration to the days ahead.

Just having an idea of my week ahead can ease my cluttered brain. Things happen. Curve balls are thrown and as Robert Burns once said, “even the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry”. But it is much more difficult to stumble through an unplanned day than it is to fix or rearrange ones that didn’t work out.

Anyway, I’m not getting any planning done, Come Dine With Me watching or under cracker wearing right now so I’d best be off to do a bit. I’m overseeing over a hundred kids at a summer multi sports camp tomorrow so I’ll quickly make my sarnies and get some rest before the proverbial hits!!