Today I have just a short message of inspiration for you to think about and it comes from author Napolian Hill. He wrote…
“Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.”
Now, it is important to remember that this is about what the mind can conceive and believe, therefore it refers to realistic outcomes. Within the fitness industry the acronym SMART is used. Which stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time. But actually, this can be used in any life goal.
I want to play for Liverpool FC but no matter how much I think about it I doubt Herr Klopp will be calling me up. So creating realistic, time bound goals is extremely important.
The other day I wrote an article about doubt and how this behaviour can cripple our future goals. We put far too many blockers in the way of our own journey instead of actually believing in ourselves.
There is a universal principle that states you will attract into your life whatever you focus on. It is something that I touch on regularly in my meditation guides. The impact over the course of a few sessions is very encouraging, enabling those who attend to realign their thoughts into a much more structured, positive outlook.
So conceive it, believe it, plan it and act on it.
‘Despite being nervous about moving up to play against the older kids, Jonas scored six goals in half an hour of his first game against the under 10s. You just don’t see anything like that.’
Jonas’ football coach gave him a fantastic send off during Scarborough Athletic’s grass roots presentation evening. It brought my wife to tears and I had a lump in my throat.
His impact at the club has been enormous. He broke records such as being the youngest ever player (he was signed to the under 7’s when he was 5) and his coach announced that he will be requesting that the number 6 jersey be retired in honour of the mark that Jonas has left.
The ‘football dad’ gets a bit of bad press. Pushy, yelling from the sideline and hoping that one day their kid will be earning millions playing in the Premier League.
And yet I don’t think I’ve been pushy. I’ve encouraged my kids to attend the extra curricular activities that they committed to but never demanded that they go if they didn’t want to. And for Jonas with football it’s been a bit like that. Despite his love for the game and his obvious talent, he has often made excuses not to go to training. But training twice a week and playing a game on Sundays since he was 5 must be quite tiring, even for the most willing of kids.
Scarborough Athletic are a very well run club. On day one the parents were told that it’s about their kids enjoying football and that the referees and coaches are volunteers. Yelling at them from the sidelines would not be tolerated. And although I’ve occasionally given encouragement and cheered a last minute winner, I’ve tried to keep quiet and not interfere with their game.
And I know the statistics when it comes to kids making it professional. I’ve seen some great talent in the hundreds of games that I’ve watched but I’ve probably not seen any kid that will become a full time professional. So I have to handle my kids’ dreams sensitively. Always dream big, yes, but success shouldn’t be defined by how much money you make, how big your car is or how many followers you have on Facebook.
Apart from a tournament that Jonas will hopefully be able to attend, that is it regarding his Scarborough Athletic journey. A club that has given him so many opportunities and valuable lessons in his short time of becoming a footballer. For that, we’ll be forever grateful.
I write this as a kind of message to myself. I’m currently needing to muster all of my positive energy to remain committed to our project of creating our Wellbeing Centre in Portugal.
And that’s not because I don’t want to do it or cannot be bothered to continue with the process. Far from it. But it’s because I’m scared.
Yesterday we had a phone call from our estate agents. We are 8 weeks into the sale of our house in Scarborough and each day is a nervous one as we hope that the chain stays in tact and we complete the sale. We’ve had the estate agent call before on a previous sale and it was to say that the buyer had pulled out. So we’re on tenterhooks now.
However, yesterday’s call was a good one. All being well, they said, the sale could be complete within two weeks.
Two weeks!
That’s much earlier than our expected date of early August. My wife and I looked at each other. Hearts racing at the news. I think I mouthed a swear word. My wife just said,”What are we doing?!!”
Portugal now seems very real. Visas seem very real. Finding and buying a house, a car…oh and driving a car on the opposite side of the road, arranging for our stuff to be sent over, schools for the kids, building our business, learning the language and generally putting ourselves in a very different life to what we are used to. It’s all very real now.
But whatever it is that we want to achieve, being committed to the plan and the ultimate goal is an absolute necessity. It would’ve been easy during the past few months to talk ourselves out of it and simply carry on with our current life. We are happy. The kids are happy. But we committed to a goal that we have dreamt about for many years. It’s not a whim. Indeed, it has been planned for over ten years or more. And even before my wife and I had met each other, we had hopes of moving abroad. It’s only when the UK left the EU did we pluck up the courage to do it.
The other necessary ingredient to reach your goals is to admit that sometimes it is getting tough or you are scared. I say it to myself. I say it to my wife. I even put it out to the world in my blogs.
Rewarding stuff in life isn’t meant to be easy to obtain. It should be difficult.
It could be going to the gym for the first time or having your first PT appointment. It might be applying for a job in your dream career. It could be setting up your own business or entering a new relationship. There will be times that you will be scared about the outcome, but you must trust the process.
The house, the yurts, the massage rooms, the gym and the schools won’t fall into our lap once we are in Portugal. And we’ve already talked about the strain that such a massive move can have on a relationship. Truth be told, I’m absolutely bricking it.
But I’m also committed. I’m committed to the project and I’m committed to doing this with my wife, best friend and business partner.
If you’re unsure about how your plans are working out today, whether it be a fitness goal, a career move or a relationship, consider this quote from Nelson Mandela.
“I never lose. I either win or learn.”
If something hasn’t gone to plan today, then see this experience as an opportunity to learn. Don’t retreat or accept your attempts as failure, simply learn and move on.
Hey Shay. It’s you. Just a little bit older and wiser. Oh, and balder. Yeah dude, sorry. You’re going bald even now so the sooner you own that look the better. Luckily The Mitchell brothers from Eastenders are making baldness a bit cooler, so just get it shaved now and stop trying to perfect the comb over.
Let me just go through all the stuff that you’ve already experienced and then I can try to explain the sort of stuff that you will live through. I’m not here to change your past or your future. I’m just giving you a heads up.
By now you will have done pretty poorly at your GCSE’s, which was obvious seeing as you didn’t really put in the effort. But you know that you’re a bright lad, just not at Shakespeare or algebra. And right now you’re wondering what your future holds.
Let me reassure you that you’re about to meet your calling. You’re a kind and thoughtful person. No exams will determine your life or career. Instead, it is your character that will enable you to work with and support other people within the social care sector. You’ll learn a lot in your time doing this job. And the biggest education of all will be about how everyone you meet will be unique. Everyone is equal and has so much to offer and you can make a difference in enabling those who you work with to show it.
Technology will change. Wow! Have you got your Nokia brick yet?! Well, when you do and you’re amazed at how you can send instant texts to people then brace yourself for what’s about to happen. In the new millennium that brick will turn into a little computer with the whole world inside of it. And then you’ll have to deal with social media. Most people seem to like it but I just end up debating about politics with a stranger. A bit like you do now but not face to face. It’s all done on your phone.
I know that, by now, you’ve dabbled with a spliff and done silly stuff like what other teenagers do. Arguing with mum and dad is upsetting right? But they love you and when you become a parent you’ll see how tough being a parent is.
Oh! Yes you will become a parent! I know you’ve always said that you don’t want kids but when you find that person who you want to spend the rest of your life with and makes you very happy, then you’ll change your mind. And your kids are two healthy boys who love you more than anything in the entire world. And even as I write it, I beam with pride. So you have that to look forward to. But just remember, we gave our mum and dad grief sometimes so we’ll have to be prepared for our kids being terrors on occasions too.
Now at 18 some very difficult news is about to enter your life. I’m sorry, bud, but your dad will knock on your door and tell you that your mum has cancer. Hey, before you get too upset right now, let me tell you that this news shapes your character. You will deal with it personally and as a family. You will still create memories. But it will hit you hard. As a young man trying to make his mark in life, you will make mistakes and emotion will get in the way of good decision making. But you will also grow stronger from your challenges that are to come. And I won’t sugar coat it, as much as you will enjoy your life, there are some seriously tough times too.
Our two boys will still be very young when our mum dies. But she got to see them and they still talk about her now. So she’ll never be forgotten. And our dad has had to create a new life. He became our hero when he looked after our mum. But he had to move forward, which he is doing.
I like how you put your mortality into perspective, even now as an 18 year old. We have always wanted to live for the moment and get out of life what we can. And you don’t change. At 44, you’ll be planning a new life in Portugal with your family. You don’t do ‘what if’ at 18 and you won’t at 44.
You will live through world events such as war, an actual pandemic, the UK leaving the EU and in a few years time what is known as 9/11. None of these will directly hurt us or our loved ones but it will have a profound effect on us. Lots of decisions you make will be because of these things. We said that we didn’t want kids because of stuff like these events, but we did have kids so you’ll get to my age forever wondering how to protect them.
I know that you are currently looking at ways in which you can change the world. But you will come to realise that as long as you can enrich the lives of others close to you then you are doing your best. Remember the moments where you support someone going to their new job or to the swimming baths. Treasure those moments where you help them cook a meal in their own home and realise how important you are to the elderly man who wants to tell you about his childhood every time he sees you. That’s making a real difference.
You will become (and still are) a personal trainer. This all came about because of the hours each day that you spend in the gym. You might as well become a PT! But you’ll be older and wiser when you do. Right now, a workout is pumping up those nightclub muscles so that you can look good in a T. But when you’re closing in on 40 you begin to understand that training is about being able to put your own socks on in the morning and having the energy to run in the park with your kids. This knowledge is useful to you in your career as a PT.
Depression never goes away. I am sorry that you experienced dark thoughts as a teenager. But you will deal with each day as it comes, trying to overcome it in your 20’s. Eventually you just live with it and keep it in its place. The gym will help you, but the big turning point for you will be when you meet your future wife. You’ve got 10 years to go yet. Together you begin to start seeing life differently. You start to live life rather than endure it.
However, you will meet some amazing and influential people along the way but it’s only on reflection will you be able to appreciate it. Everything you and those around you do shape you and your environment. It moulds you. So you’ll soon realise who the people are that you need to hang around with and who to stay clear of.
I need to go now. I need to allow you to continue your journey that leads you to writing this message.
But just one last thing! Don’t turn off the 2005 Champions League final! I won’t tell you what happens but just keep watching it until the match finishes.
Keep smiling Shay. It’ll all turn out ok in the end.
We get bogged down by the details sometimes. We forget to actually do, because we’re wrapped up in the how.
A how is only important if you’re actively doing in the first place. And then you start finding how to do it.
The 13th century poet Rumi said, “As you start to walk along the way, the way appears.”
In other words don’t dither, just do.
By all means have a plan. Have a plan B. But the more you sit on the finer details, the more it is less likely to happen. So sometimes, as Rumi alludes to, it is only once you are on your path will the journey start to become clearer.
Perhaps I told people too early about our relocation to Portugal. It means that what I told people 4 months ago is completely different today. Yes, the way is Portugal, but the plan has changed daily. I’m sure anybody asking me about it is wishing that they hadn’t bothered!
From selling our house, budgets, liaising with UK and Portuguese solicitors and consulates, renting or buying in Portugal, where exactly in Portugal we will settle, the business plan, the kids schooling and when we will actually buy our one way ticket is still keeping this journey a mystery. But there’s one certainty and that is that it will happen. We know that because we are walking along the way.
The way has obstacles. It isn’t easy. But if anything is worth getting, then it has to be with full commitment, belief and a great deal of bloody stubbornness.
We’re learning along the way and we will make mistakes. But mistakes, and the unforeseen circumstances beyond our control, are what mold us into grittier and more determined people. We cannot get lost in our pain, because one day the pain will become the cure.
Think about something that you are passionate about doing. It doesn’t have to be anything at all like mine. This is your passion. Now visualize it. Live it for a few moments. What do you see? How does this passion that you have imagined as your reality make you feel? Can you see yourself smiling, laughing, dancing as a confident happy person?
Because that’s what following your passions should be like. Living your life how you want to live it should make you feel fulfilled. Don’t be afraid to find your happiness. You just need to start to walk along the way.
I’ve changed a lot since becoming a father. Unrecognisable really. The younger, childless me was pretty care free. Sure, I had moments of angst and bouts of depression, but this was usually countered by alcohol or other recreational medication. Of course, this made things worse. Still, I held down a good job and had a couple of ‘serious’ relationships. My parents were, to the best of my knowledge , happy. I had friends. I had money, albeit spending it on the wrong things. Nothing too spectacular to see here.
I would describe myself as a pretty average 20 something living in Leeds (or at least, those that I knew!). I wasn’t a bad person. Think Joey or Chandler from Friends. I worked and had adult responsibilities, but I also liked to goof around playing Foosball (pool) with my mates rather than entering real life situations.
Meeting my future wife was a turning point, but, even then, I was crap with responsibility and being an adult.
And then I became a father. The ton of bricks hit me immediately. I took control. I knew that I couldn’t simply click my fingers and be the world’s best dad. I had to work on myself. The sign would say “Work In Progress”. It still does.
I now prepare for a future away from the next visit to the pool hall and a pint of Stella. I put commitments and plans in place way beyond what I do on a weekend as I used to navigate my time around the next Liverpool match or box set. My vision has become based upon my kids secondary school, their teenage years, further education, lifestyle, their careers and their opportunities and lives when I’m no longer around. Everything I do now is for them. Every gym visit, every job I undertake and every move in this game of chess called life is about what will benefit my children.
Seven years ago, with a baby just a few months old, my wife and I made a decision. The day after the UK had decided to leave the EU, we decided to leave the UK. I understand now, however difficult to get my head around it, that the majority of voters wanted Brexit. But we didn’t. I could see no solid evidence of happy endings from a country trying to recover from a recession leaving one of the largest economies in the world. And with the political landscape across the globe in such a panic in regards to war, terrorism and (later) pandemics, I felt that we needed to build friendships, allies and be united against those trying to harm our way of life. Now was not the time to create division.
Our decision to leave the UK wouldn’t have been so concrete if it hadn’t been for our children. We believe that our children will have better opportunities with the options to study, live and work with the freedom to move into 28 other countries. Once we make the move to Portugal (Visa pending now of course) our children will be EU citizens again and will be able to give them what we in the UK once had.
I sometimes wish that I had travelled and worked in different countries when I was younger. Learning new languages and meeting different people and cultures is a great way to discover the world we live in.
I want my kids to take away the blinkers and discover their world for themselves. To see and experience new things. I guess this is why we moved to Scarborough on the east coast of England before really putting our European plan into action. I loved Scarborough growing up as a kid. My kids love Scarborough now. We all do. But we also know that there are more adventures to be had elsewhere.
The more experiences that we can provide for our children, the easier their transition into adulthood can be. Soon, they’ll be sitting in a classroom having to understand Portuguese. That will be daunting for them, I know. But if they can overcome that, then not only will they acquire very good skills in the Portuguese language, but they will have less fear when it comes to their first day at Uni or traveling to a different country for a job opportunity. It will take them out of their comfort zone and into a world of opportunities.
Yes, I’ve changed a lot since becoming a father. I realized that I had to leave MY comfort zone. I had to start making decisions that were right for this tiny human being I held in my hands. And wherever it takes us, it is done with their wellbeing in mind.
“If you are not willing to learn, no one can help you. If you are determined to learn, no one can stop you.” Zig Ziglar.
The boy in class who chatted to friends, didn’t listen to his teacher and rarely handed in his homework somehow, once again, got 100% in his maths test.
How does he do it? I thought as another bit of my confidence and self esteem left my 14 year old self. I DID try. I enjoyed trying to learn. The problem is I found facts and figures hard to retain.
As an adult I’m fairly clued up and, although you guys reading this could pick my blogs to shreds I’m sure, I have a decent understanding of Mathematics, English, Geography, History and all of the other mandatory school subjects. I like to think that I’d get a decent cash builder and give a Chaser a run for their money too! But what might come easily to some, without seeming to put in the hard graft, I need to understand it, re-read it and try and remember it before it sinks in. There’s a knack to it. I’m still learning the knack.
One thing that I did excel in, however, later became my career. I’m good at dealing with people. Emotions, conversation, body language and the ability to read a situation is important for a Personal Trainer. Add to that my passion for sport, physical exercise and training I was made for PT. Of course, passing my Anatomy and Physiology coursework was as testing as I remember my homework at school. I had to work extra hard to remember muscle groups, facts etc to really nail my exam. I passed it, but even now I revisit this as I understand that learning doesn’t ever have a final point. It’s a journey that continues.
And because I have the knowledge with the ability to guide myself and others through the minefield of the health and fitness industry, I feel that I’m worth paying for. Sometimes, we need to invest in someone to help us achieve a goal.
I know that my new subject is one that will probably require me to pay for further education if I am to become good at it. I’m learning Portuguese.
I’ve been using a free app and it will enable me to order food at a restaurant and exchange pleasantries. This was tested last week on my visit to Portugal. But if I am to live there, work there and fully integrate myself into their country and culture, I need to be able to communicate with Portuguese people to a higher standard than a free app will let me. I am learning words, yes, but applying these words to create structured sentences with the correct syntax is vital to acquiring a new language.
Of course, the locals were forgiving when I visited. They appreciated my efforts. And it annoys me when a visitor to a foreign country makes no effort at all to say a word or two in the native tongue of the country. I at least know ‘thankyou’ in about 10 different languages because I looked it up before visiting that country. Although, again, my brain keeps getting a little confused which makes me say ‘thankyou’ in Bulgarian when I’m actually in Portugal. My defense is that they sound similar and I’m sticking to it!
The similarities to how I approach my fitness training regime and learning a new language are closer than you’d think. I need a ‘why’. Why do I train? Ok that’s easy. I want to remain as active for my kids and grandkids as possible and be independent for as long as I can in older age. And why do I want to learn Portuguese? Language was created as a survival method between different tribes and communities. I want to survive and thrive in a new country to really make the move work. It just has to be done.
Essentially, they both have to be done to survive. Also, they take roughly the same amount of time per day. About an hour of training and an hour of learning. And they both enable me to become a more rounded person.
When it comes to my ‘why’, I’ll be willing to do what it takes to stay on target with my goals. I just need to keep developing the knack.
Queuing for the equipment, sweaty people, pushy PT’s selling their programmes on the back of a beer mat. The gym might not be your cuppa tea.
Loud music or music too low, ogling men, Insta fitters, pricey membership, too far to travel or you just can’t be bothered with going today.
Let me present to you the home workout!
Ok, first of all, let me just say that not all gyms are like the above. Most gyms that I go to these days are friendly, clean and affordable. But still, it doesn’t matter how good the gym is, sometimes you just can’t make it in.
But it doesn’t mean that you can’t train. So I’d like to suggest to you a couple of the most valuable pieces of equipment that you will need in your home to be able to get a good workout in without being in a gym (and it doesn’t cost a lot or take up too much room).
1. A selection of dumbbells. If you find a weight range that covers light dumbbells that you can rep for 15 plus and heavier dumbbells that you can rep for 6 then you will have a whole range of exercises that you can do. But the best bit of kit…..?
2. You. Just you. And I don’t mean you have to ‘turn up to get results blah blah.’ Of course you need to get it done. But your bodyweight is by far the most underrated piece of equipment that is available to you. A good bodyweight workout programme would prove this.
If you weigh 70k then you carry this weight when you walk, squat, lunge, press, jump and run. It is why larger people either carrying excess fat or muscle are able to lose weight faster. The more you weigh, the more energy it takes for your body to move, function and exercise.
Sure, long distance trainers and strength competitors need a whole host of equipment and venues for what they need to achieve, but if you are looking to feel a bit fitter and start the new year with a healthy outlook, you already own your best piece of kit.
I don’t know if anyone else has noticed, but the TV adverts are all of a sudden looking a lot more Christmassy this week. It seems like one minute I was collecting sweets with my two little devils and then the next minute I’m buying my box of Bounty-less Celebrations ready to open on Christmas day!
Oh how holiday consumerism flies.
And for 54% of the UK at least, what will be around the corner not long after a repeat of Morecambe and Wise will be the new years resolutions. A quarter of those resolutions will be health based, but only 9% of new years resolutioners will continue into the new year with their goals and actually achieve what they set out to do.
My theory is that when January arrives there has been very little planning involved in starting a fitness goal, if any at all. I can’t imagine many programs or meal menus being created over an episode of Jools Holland’s Hootenanny. In fact, due to the upheaval of the previous two weeks before January starts, it is probably the hardest month to commit to in regards to health and fitness.
So what is the best time?
Now is the short and easy answer. Today you can get a gym membership. Today you can write down a few healthy nutritious meals ideas and buy the ingredients for them. Today you can read an article like this and think ‘What am I waiting for?!’
What are you waiting for? My guess is that you don’t see any point in starting now seeing as silly season is just around the corner. But if we do the math then you might feel differently.
There are 57 days until New Year’s Day. So even if you take two weeks off of training over the festive period that’s 43 days left to train.
But you don’t need to train every day. Let’s be sensible and meet around half way. If you trained 3 days a week at an hour each time from now until a Christmas break, that is 18 hours.
One hour of light training can burn 200 calories per hour. Times that by 18 and you have burnt 3600 calories before the Christmas break.
One hour of vigorous training can burn 600 calories per hour. Times that by 18 and you have burnt 10,800 calories before the Christmas break.
These estimates are without the additional ‘after burn’ effect that you get, especially through resistance training, where your body will still be burning calories during the recovery phase.
Not only do the numbers look impressive, but the whole package does.
* You have already built up momentum before January arrives
* Beginning different eating habits straight after such an indulgent period as Christmas is extremely tough
* If you wanted to hire a PT, this time of year is good and you might be able to strike a deal. January can be a bit pricier during their busier months such as January.
So if you’re looking to get started on a health and fitness journey and you find yourself saying “I’ll wait until January”, think again. The sleigh is waiting for you now. Your journey can begin today.
Never Give Up PT 