Tag Archives: mindset

What Is Your Motivation Today?

If there is one guarantee in life it is that the mainstream gyms will be buzzing with new members who have promised themselves a healthier start to the year. The new year’s resolutioners. And their journey, hopefully, is a great one. I know lots of people who started a successful journey based on a new year’s resolution. But there are many who don’t have the same success. They give up. This message is for anybody who has just begun their journey and how they can stay on track.

It is common knowledge between Personal Trainers that the gym looks like this every new year…

The January Rush

Especially in the mainstream gyms, it can be difficult to get onto any of the equipment due to the influx of new members mixed with the regulars. The PT can spot the new member immediately. They flit from one machine to the other with little direction. Form, especially in the free weight section, can be erratic. But for the most part the new member will stick to machines.

The PT will begin to plant the seed that you might need their help. They might offer an induction or consultation straight away if they are pushy, but also a good PT will simply just be present to answer questions.

The February Frustrations

Despite January being great for the gym, it is not necessarily the best month for a PT. A new member won’t generally just sign up with a PT they’ve just met. Also, most people think that they can do it by themselves. After all, how difficult can working a treadmill be? But new members can have unrealistic targets and in no way is a treadmill (or any machine) the best place to start. Frustrations arise. They’re not seeing the results they expected.

Their gym visits become less regular unless, and this is where the patient PT reaps the rewards, the member asks for help, tips, advice and a price list.

The March Sleepers

A sleeping membership is a reference to a gym member who pays for a membership but does not attend its services. By march and the dust has settled, according to statists, about 18% of people paying for a gym membership become sleepers. They have lost motivation, got bored, found other interests or just found life getting in the way.

What To Do Before You Get To March!

* Seriously consider a good PT. They’ll stick out a mile. Watch their interactions with their current clients. Approach them for advice. They should give free advice without being too pushy. If they’re too pushy then they’re desperate for custom. If they say that they’re really busy but will try to find a slot for you then they’re lying. There’s always room for a new client. Some trainers also work online with clients without the face to face sessions. This works out cheaper but can be a good option because of my next piece of advice…

* The biggest reason for people quitting the gym is their motivation (or lack of it). A good PT should be able to give you the determination and motivation that you need. Almost every day they should be asking ‘how do you feel today?’ and tracking your workout progress, offering challenges and fun targets. You don’t need to see them in person for them to do that.

* But if employing a PT is still something that you don’t want to do then consider this quote from author Zig Ziglar…”People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing, that’s why we recommend it daily.”

You see, your motivation needs working on daily. Just because you ate the full box of Quality Streets on Christmas day and promised yourself a gym membership doesn’t mean you’ll give a shit come March. After all, there are 18% of gym members who don’t.

Every Sunday I would ask my clients to plan their meals and their gym visits for the week. Have they booked the classes they wish to attend? Do they have packed lunch ideas for work so that they don’t feel the need to stop off at Gregg’s or Maccy D’s?

Any of my clients who were having a tough time of it (everybody does, even professional athletes) I would ask them for their reasons why they came to me. In some way, it was a call for help. But why?

I’ve had just about every reason given to me over the ten years that I worked in mainstream gyms and online. From eating disorders, beating depression or self harm, a charity run and to making the next Olympics. Plus, there were many of my clients who simply wanted to feel better about themselves and feel that they were doing something proactive.

I would ask them to give themselves 5 minutes each morning as they open their eyes to think about these reasons. What would achieving their target for that day mean to them? How does it make them feel? What about not doing it? How does that affect their mood by the end of the day?

This ‘self assessment’ should be done daily. And with it we will find the reason why we do it. I love a workout, but I need my daily motivation too! I need to know my ‘why?’. I have two small children. I want to be healthy enough to see them grow up. I want to be active enough to play football with them and (in later life) my grandkids. My wife and I are starting up a new business in a different country. I need to be mentally strong for the challenges ahead and exercise keeps my focus. I want to look and feel good about myself and when I’m really old I want to be able to get out of a chair unaided. My motivation isn’t about staying alive so much as having a quality of life as I get older.

We will all have our reasons, but it’s remembering them and acting on it daily that will take you past March in the gym.

Good luck friends.

Changing The Past Means You Have To Change The Present

The past has gone. For all the good bits, the bad bits and all the bits in-between, you cannot change your past.

But what if you could by living the present by one simple rule?

Psychologist Victor Frankl will be able to explicate my introduction with this quote…

“Live as if you were living already for the second time and as if you had acted the first time as wrongly as you are about to act now.”

When I first read this I had to replay it through my head several times to truly understand what Frankl meant by this. My brain chewed through it like a sticky toffee glued to my teeth but eventually I tasted the essence of its flavour. It was sweet.

Frankl is inviting us to understand that the past can still be changed and corrected as long as we acknowledge that the present is the past.

Without knowing of this revelation let alone understanding it, I could not live by this several years ago. A mixture of immaturity, pig headedness and selfishness meant that I am now left with a string of regrets that I wish I could change.

For example, the way I have spoken to a friend or relative that was unkind. I have felt, in moments, that they were trying to hurt my feelings or in some way ruin my day and piss on my parade. My emotions heightened and out of control, I have said things that I know would hurt them too.

I have never made a habit of this but there are moments in my life which stand out in my mind that I wished had never happened.

What if I had acted differently? What if I had considered Frankl’s advice before becoming irrational with someone who I love?

What if, in that moment, I had taken a deep breath, considered my options and chose to act in the right way?

Because, when you strip back the quote, all it means is to think about your actions before doing or saying something you will regret. You can’t go back in time to correct mistakes so take extra care to get it right the first time.

There’s no time machine, but we do actually possess something much more powerful than that. We have the ability to perceive what is right and wrong and control, evaluate and execute our actions. We have a conscience.

Looking back, from a selfish point of view, had I reacted differently in certain situations I would have felt better about myself. Making someone else feel rubbish does nothing for the soul. It can turn you bitter.

Before the past becomes regrettable, make some good choices in the present while you can. Seize that moment to make yourself and others around you feel better. In your head, consider the different outcomes of the actions you’re about to take.

Be kind to others. And yourself.

Orange Is The New Snack

I don’t do new year’s resolutions. I tend to just work with the moment. If I need to lose a few pounds to fit more comfortably in my jeans then I’ll just either lose a few pounds or I’ll buy a bigger pair of jeans. I’ve learnt to be happy in doing either of those.

But seeing as we’ve recently acquired six orange trees in a part of the world that don’t do takeaway meals, that moment it seems, has arrived.

This evening, as I peeled an orange from our tree, I said to Lou that I don’t think I’ve ever eaten so healthily over the Christmas period. Don’t get me wrong, I do try to stick to some sort of a plan for nutritional reasons at any time of year, but the tubs of celebrations and bowls of salted peanuts and crisps always make an appearance. But either these traditional British Christmas snacks don’t exist in Sertá or they are imported at the expense of the consumer. And I’m not prepared to pay over ten euros for a bag of Nobby’s Nuts.

The oranges are free from the garden.

So after some research I’ve found that the trees dotted about the land are called navel orange trees. With no snacks in the cupboard and no obligatory one or two takeaway meals during the Christmas and new year period, I’ve found myself peeling an orange each evening.

Now, it has to be said, I have always hated oranges. The peel would get under my nails. My fingers would be sticky and would smell. It would squirt in my eye as I wrestled with the peel. The pips would get in the way of any sort of enjoyment of eating an orange.

I have peeled so many oranges in my life. My previous work meant that I peeled at least three a day in residential and day care settings. My kids eat oranges and my life got a little easier with ‘easy peelers’. Thank goodness for easy peelers! It didn’t, however, change my mind on oranges. Messy fuckers.

And then I picked a juicy piece of sun from a tree.

The move to rural Portugal was not by accident. Much of our motivation to choose the Castelo Branco region was its lack of fast food restaurants, pubs and bars and traffic. We wanted to take our family where we could try to live a simpler, healthier lifestyle. The temptation of a Greggs pasty is no longer there for me. The local supermarkets are stocked with their traditionally prepared bacalhau and other varieties of sea food and local fresh produce. Yes, they have junk food too. But I’m beginning to overlook it. I’ll wait and pick an orange when I get home.

I have always told my clients that you will always want to eat what you have available to you. If you buy it and take it home, it will be calling you at 10pm willing you to take it from the cupboard and eat it.

It is often said that a fitness goal begins in the kitchen. I would say it begins in the supermarket. You can’t eat something that you don’t buy in.

And it is extremely difficult, I know. Nobby always wanted me to grab his nuts. But I want a fresh start in making better health choices.

My new love affair with the orange is real. You could say it’s tang-erine-able.

Orange is the new snack.

Remember This Going Into Your New Year…

Wow. Some year huh?!

I hope that this year has been a prosperous one for you. I hope that, whatever you set out to do at the beginning of this year, you have succeeded or are on the right path in reaching it.

But it is important to know that whatever you want to achieve in this coming year, it is done for you. Nobody else.

Sure, you’ll get support from the ones who you can put your trust in. You know the ones. They proved before that they will pick you up when you’re down and go out of their way to help you out.

But then you will come across those who place expectations upon you and sneer at your downfalls or shortcomings. You will never please these people so you don’t even need to concern yourself in trying to. For these people, you just need to limit your time around them. Don’t hate them. Don’t become them.

I came across a quote the other day and it made a lot of sense to me but, forgive me, I’ve tried to find the owner of this quote but I don’t know who it is. Maybe you do? It says…

“No matter how good you are, people will judge you according to their mood and needs.”

Not all people. As I say, you know the ones. But you’ll get a little alarm bell that sounds in your head when you speak to someone who will.

It might be a snigger as you tell them about your fitness goal or a mocking shake of the head as you express yourself about a lost relationship or job opportunity.

You know the face they pull, right? The ‘how did you ever think you could date that person?’ look.

Maybe their needs and mood could be helped by your supportive attention, but it’s not your job. Just make sure that you protect you first of all. You can’t help anybody if you aren’t protecting yourself first of all.

So let’s start thinking about what you want to achieve in 2024. Think big. But remember that some people won’t want you to get there, no matter how good you become at striving for it.

Leaving The Comfort Zone

Since Jonas was five he has played football for Scarborough Athletic. He was only able to train with the under 7’s team as he was too young, but once the new season started, he was able to play official matches.

Now ten, he has a new challenge coming up. Soon he will begin training with his new team, Sertanense, a club based in Sertá, central Portugal, ready for the new season in September.

Both Jonas and his younger brother Finlay will be starting a new school in Portugal in the new year and this is the biggest challenge of all seeing as it will include learning a new language (it is a local school and not an international school). It also means that they’ll not be with us every hour of every day which has been the case for the past few months as we made the permanent move.

Things are happening quickly for them. Lou and I don’t know how they will react on the morning of the 3rd of January when we take them to their new school. So far, when we talk about it, the signs are good. But to them it’s still Christmas. January might seem a distance yet. In reality it is a week today as I write this.

Finlay seems to want to take up a martial art as his extra curricular activity. He plays football, but it seems a bit more forced because he just joins in what Jonas is doing. But he doesn’t seem to have that passion for it. He doesn’t like watching it, whereas Jonas will analyse a period of play and talk about positioning during a game on TV. I’ve had play fights with Finlay. I think Karate or Judo will be a good choice for him. He’ll be a black belt in no time.

I’m trying not to transfer my fears onto the boys. What I mean by that is maybe I’m more scared than they are. They might just walk into school without any issues. Jonas might run onto the training pitch with 20 other kids with no problems. Maybe it’s me who has the nerves.

I hated new beginnings. The start of a new school term and definitely a new school still makes me shudder. And I never really pursued any extra curricular stuff as a kid because it meant meeting new people. I just stayed in the safe zone as much as possible.

But there’s a little bit of our move which is exactly for this purpose. We wanted to take ourselves and our kids out of the safe zone. A couple of years ago I never expected to be speaking Portuguese to a postal worker in a sorting office with no knowledge of English about my missing post. But I did that today. It’s a little achievement, but a massive confidence boost that he actually understood me.

I’ve been driving along cliff edges on an unfamiliar side of the road in rural Portugal. We bought an old farm house that we intend to make into a well being centre and guest house. Individually, each one of us has a zone which becomes out of their comfort. Mine might not seem like much to some people, but I’m enjoying finding my zone and continuing to challenge it.

And that’s the ultimate goal for my kids. That they can feel the discomfort in walking into a new class room, karate group or football pitch, thrive and grow from it and enjoy their achievements. Overcoming new and different experiences can make us more rounded, happier people.

I always told my new clients this whenever they felt like entering the gym became too much for them. Gyms can be an intimidating place. That’s why just stepping into the gym as a new member is the first goal. Not a deadlift or 20 minute treadmill run, but just entering the gym. From then on, with consistency, each visit gets easier to do.

Perhaps you have a new challenge that you want to focus on in the new year? My advice is to take that first step. It might mean leaving your comfort zone, but it’ll feel all the more sweeter when you overcome it.

I’ll keep you informed on mine and my family’s achievements in the coming weeks. Be sure to tell me yours.

Eat The Frog First To Overcome Daily Lethargy

Eating the frog first is a phrase I heard some years ago to describe how training, doing an exercise class or a long walk/jog first thing in the morning can enable you to develop a healthy daily routine.

This saying, I believe, was made by Mark Twain to prioritize difficult tasks. He went on to say that if there are two frogs, eat the biggest one first.

It certainly helped me. I preferred a morning workout. It helped me complete other daily tasks throughout the day as I felt more motivated, more confident in my skin and it made me make better meal choices for that day.

And I am finding that this rule can assist in creating a productive routine for my kids at the moment. As those familiar with my blogs will know, my wife and I are currently buying a home in Portugal. Our boys haven’t yet got a school so we are homeschooling them. As each minute of the day passes we find that we are losing their interest to open up a text book as the lure of the pool, football in the garden and iPads take over.

And they are important too, of course, but as parents it is also our duty to keep up with their learning, especially as learning Portuguese is at the core of it.

But it isn’t just them who lets the day slip away without any schooling. If my wife and I don’t hit the ground running in the morning it is very easy to fall into the trap of allowing ourselves to consider this moment to be a vacation. There are many things that keep reminding us that it is not, however, such as ongoing contract negotiations between us and the house vendors and the unfinished business we are tying up in the UK. But these are yet more reasons to postpone the schoolwork.

Simply put, if we are to proceed with a healthy, stress free day we need to get all of the crappy stuff done early. We need to eat the frog first so that we can enjoy the yummy tasty things on the plate without worry.

Palhais

Along with my new resistance training which I’m now completing each morning, as a family we are beginning to explore our local area of Palhais in Sertá. And as I don’t have the use of a full time car, walking long distances has been a daily activity.

We happen to be almost in the very centre of Portugal. So much so that in the distance of our accommodation we can see the Centro Geodésico de Portugal, which is a tall white tower signalling the geographical centre of Portugal in Vila de Rei which offers fantastic panoramic views. But this region also has its challenges.

Buses are irregular and, if you do drive, the long and winding road through the mountainous route from Palhais to Cernache do Bonjardim is not for the faint hearted. And for those who are walking from place to place, kerbs aren’t really a thing here.

And that’s what we’re doing for the most part, doing lots of walking.

But luckily, whether we are on foot or in a car, we rarely see many cars on the road which suits my left hand lane driving brain.

In the town of Sertá, there are lots of things to see and do even on a drizzly (yet warmish) November day. Of course, the boys found a football pitch to have a kick about.

And then there’s Trizio, which is a wonderful river beach offering water sports during the summer periods. For now though, we got to see its beauty without any people there. When our youngest, Finlay, managed to stop talking for a second, we could hear just the silence of our surroundings. Bliss.

There are those days where we don’t feel like leaving our accommodation at all. It has a pool, which is freezing, but that didn’t stop Finlay from having a dip!

We know that what is around the corner for us in our lives will be a challenge. But it’s one that we signed up for. Tomorrow we will be looking at another house that has the potential to be our permanent home and business. It won’t be the finished product and we will have to put all of our resources into it, as well as ensuring that the kids’ wellbeing and schooling needs are met. So far, we have been able to explore our surroundings at our leisure. But we await the next chapter and we hope it will be in Palhais.

And we don’t expect a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, but we are hoping for a fulfilling, grounding and loving one.

A Day To Start A New Routine

Since arriving in Portugal I’ve ticked off a few necessary jobs that had to be done. Driving my (potentially) new car yesterday was a nerve-wracking task that I had to get over as I had never driven outside of the UK before. Another ‘biggie’ today will be to view a house that we are looking to buy.

But before that, another essential task will be to begin a fitness routine. Regular readers of my blog will recall me saying that I was prepared to put any regular training regime on hold while I focused fully on moving my family out of the UK.

I had left the gym that I worked and trained from in the summer and my own bits of gym equipment had been gradually palletised over the past few months so access to heavy resistance was difficult. Time was also an issue as I have been putting every ounce of energy into the move every second of each day.

Stopping a daily training program can be dangerous. Excuses can always be found and, whether they may be good enough reasons or not, a plan to begin a training program in the near future must be a priority if we are serious about our fitness goals. My passion for mental and physical health (and aesthetics) has never waned. I’ve kept my calories in check throughout so that I haven’t spiralled too much. I’ve been desperate to begin training again. But other than a calisthenics routine, I have felt restricted.

Now, just to be clear. Calisthenics is a great way to train. This is by exercising using bodyweight only. So push ups, press ups, squats, Burpees etc are good examples. But it has never excited me in the same way as resistance training. And I like to feel excited by a new challenge such as a different weight or a new piece of gym kit.

Oh, and talking of new bits of gym kit, I decided to start my daily routine again by lifting breeze blocks and bottles filled with sand!

I do appreciate an unconventional method. I sometimes feel that the polished arrangement of a commercial gym can be off putting. Lifting heavy stuff in a Portuguese field with the view of the mountains, however, is something that can’t be bought with a gym membership. I just had to take advantage. Today was a day to start a new routine.

And I have little excuse not to. For a short time now this land and its gym is what I call home. Until we can find our new permanent home and create our new business, this is my life. I have energy and lots of thinking and meditating time in abundance. Sure the kids will keep me busy, and home schooling will be important to us until we find a permanent school. But that’s all part of finding this new routine.

I just know that my workouts will become an important part of it.

The Day Will Wait

As I was getting the kids ready for school this morning I, as always, ran around like a headless chicken from room to room collecting PE kits, lunch boxes etc but there’s an added load of stress at the moment.

Every room is full of half packed boxes awaiting our house move. Going from one room to another is like an episode of Ninja Warrior as I jump, skip and trip my way to the front door with my two kids under each arm ready to throw into the car.

And I’m sure, as I come back home after school drop off, the boxes at home have been breeding. They’ve multiplied. The task looks even more intimidating by the hour. Indeed, time is of the essence. But…

But I stopped looking.

I stopped looking and I lay on the sofa and closed my eyes. I began to recognise my breathing. Witnessing every intake of breath and appreciating the way my chest and stomach expands as I breath in deeply.

And slowly exhale.

The belly softens. My shoulders drop. My body relaxes.

For the sake of ten minutes, listening to my body, allowing my mind to stop, reflect and contemplate, I enabled myself to reconnect to the day.

The day will wait. I will get stuff done when I’m ready. I’ll finish this text, post it onto my site, put my phone down and get the day done as it was meant to be done.

Injury Time

You stand on the sideline watching your team defend their delicate one goal advantage as the onslaught of attack after attack comes at them. As the coach, there’s very little you can do now. You’ve set the team up, made the substitutions and given your encouragement from the dug out. They’re almost over the line, but you can’t rule out one last big chance falling to their number 9.

Ex Manchester United manager, Alex Ferguson called it ‘squeaky bum time.’

I hate the expression, but I get it. Even though it’s just a football match he’s referring to.

My family and I are in injury time. We’ve done the prep and a lot of the hard work. But perhaps, as we wait for a completion date, money transfers and an upcoming consulate meeting, our nerves will be tested in these final moments even more than the past 12 months. It could, as each email and phone call passes by, be the strongest we’ve had to be thus far.

The email from the solicitor feels like another aerial challenge inside our six yard area. The number of the estate agents coming up on our phone is like a penalty appeal from the opposition crowd. We just need the final whistle.

With a chain of house sellers and buyers behind us, we can only hope that we hear the final whistle soon. We’re fully aware of what the implications of a house sale involving a chain can be, even deep into injury time.

My clients have all heard me say these words before…Trust the process.

Indeed, a good coach will have meticulously accounted for every eventuality with their client. I’ve programmed for the positive times, where the client is motivated and keen. But then I have to programme the not so easy moments where the client feels low and doesn’t hit targets.

There needs to be a plan A, B, C and beyond! But as long as you trust the process then the end result will be the right one.

Some of the greatest football managers of my time have trusted 100% in their project. Ferguson, Guardiola, Klopp rely on their ability and the team that they have built.

And so a trainee must also believe in themselves and their coach. Achieving great things doesn’t work otherwise.

Lou and I trust our process in completing the sale of our house and successfully obtaining the VISA for our move to Portugal. And beyond that, we are fully confident in our ability to put our business plans into action.

But it doesn’t mean that we are sitting comfortably. After all, nobody wants to go to extra time and penalties.