mental health – Page 18 – Never Give Up PT

Between A Rock And A Hard Prince

This week on social media I have seen arguments about the Chris Rock and Will Smith incident. It seems there’s a Team Rock and a Team Smith thing going on. But I’ve tried to stay away from making comments myself because I am undecided and I’m not fully convinced that either of them look particularly great from this. But here’s my thoughts anyway…

Chris Rock told a pretty crap joke aimed at someone with alopecia. It wasn’t even funny. But then I am not the oracle on what is funny and what isn’t. Is comedy the same as any art? Subjective? Was Jimmy Carr’s Holocaust joke funny? I didn’t laugh, but others might.

Anyway, funny or not this joke was aimed at Will Smith’s wife who then felt obliged to give Rock a slap. I’ve told some crap (probably not politically correct) jokes in my time but I’ve also given somebody a slap for being insulting to me or my family. I’ve been Chris Rock AND Will Smith before. Maybe I haven’t been at the Oscars and my jokes or my aggression hasn’t been in front of the viewing world but for a split second I can put myself in both of their shoes.

I’m hearing so much about cancel culture these days and this does worry me. I grew up watching Love Thy Neighbour, Fawlty Towers, Rising Damp, Carry On and Only Fools And Horses. I had DVD’s of Chubby Brown as a teenager and I read Viz. They all discriminated against gender roles, race, religion, sex, wars and abilities. These days I prefer Ricky Gervais, who somehow escaped a slap at the Golden Globes and has spoken out about cancel culture himself. His series After Life is so innapropriate at times yet one of the most poignant things I have ever seen . A part of me wants to blush and turn to my wife and say “he can’t say that!” But in the next scene I’m tearing up at the sadness his character is going through.

Did Love Thy Neighbour make race relations in 1970’s UK better or worse? It wasn’t its role to educate it’s viewers but does it have a responsibility to do so either way?

Will Smith has probably sat in an audience listening to Chris Rock many times and laughed at someone else’s expense. Rock is hardly the type of comedian that will talk about his Nan’s cute catchphrases like Peter Kay. Rock is edgy and becoming a famous black American comedian in the 90’s at the same time as Will Smith becoming a famous black American actor I’m sure that they are aware of each other’s work. So does Smith usually laugh at Rock’s jokes but just not the ones involving his wife?

When does comedy become innapropriate? Yeah we have all heard of bad taste humour and we seem to be ok with that. But what if a joke is about the Holocaust, slavery, a religion or rape? When should it be cancelled? Should it ever be? With hash tag campaigns and voices that previously went unheard these days, there are certain topics that seem to be ‘no go’ areas when it comes to comedy. Yet Carr recently pushed it’s boundaries at a live gig recorded for Netflix.

And maybe it needs comedians like that who are willing to test these boundaries. If we see it as an act rather than a person speaking their opinions, then we can continue to discuss the seriousness of the subject matter. For as long as these topics are in the forefront of our minds, whether on stage at the Appolo or in Parliament, then we will keep having serious discussions on how to be a better society. Perhaps these comedians are actually, intentionally or not, becoming the scapegoats. They receive the world’s attention and get paid for it and we disect their subject matter. Win/Win?!

I have no answers and that’s why I am not Team Rock or Team Smith, but perhaps it just comes down to a man doing his job as a comedian and a man doing his job as a husband. Even if they both did a bad job at them.

Trying Not To Make A Hash Of It

I’ve just finished training at the gym. It was a tough one today as I like to start the week heavy after a couple of days rest. I can feel that my blood sugar levels are low and I will need to eat when I get home.

My drive home was filled with meal ideas, but I had a big problem. Over the weekend, due to two kids birthday parties, lots of driving my family around to various errands and a great barbeque at the in laws, my eating habits had become a case of grabbing what I could here and there and plenty of it. The chips at the kids party that I snaffled into my mouth as none of the parents were looking were delicious but having had a Full English the day before I felt that I probably should try and have something a little less fatty and greasy. Anyway, young Joshua from class 9 shouted ‘those chips aren’t for you!’ so that put paid to anymore chips.

Also, it was Mother’s Day on Sunday. My wife had baked a cake to take for a mum. So after my three cheeseburgers and potato salad I ended up with a huge slab of sponge cake for dessert. Undoing the jeans belt isn’t a done thing at your in laws so I waited until I got into the car. I knew that tomorrow would have to mean some sensible meal choices.But then tomorrow came.

I’m not one for actually sitting and eating fruit. Sitting in itself would be a massive achievement on a morning getting two kids ready for school. So my wife and I have a good routine for getting in our fruit and veggies first thing. We invested in a Nutri Bullet some time ago and it’s been really useful to us. This morning in went a banana, spinach, blueberries, oranges and protein powder before I went to the gym. A good start. But by the end of my session I needed food again. The problem was that the meal ideas were not good ideas considering my weekend meals.

Weekends (or any time away from the norm) is usually a time where we can relax the diet or have a few extra treats without guilt. We should never feel bad about a little over indulgence from time to time. But it is important to attempt to readdress the balance when we can. My go to food on a weekday lunch time is quinoa and mackerel. It takes minutes to prepare and I can quickly eat it and continue my work. But my brain kept taking me to all of the weekend food I’d been having!

I was determined. Down came the tin of mixed beans from the cupboard. These are another staple in my diet. And to my delight, right at the back of the cupboard was a can of corned beef. Now, it’s not an exaggeration to say that it is not something me or my family eat. In fact, I can’t remember eating it since I was a kid and my mum rustled up a corned beef hash. But there it was saying,’Pick me! Pick me!’

So I did.

A bowl of mixed beans and a few slices of corned beef would do the trick. It was a compromise. I had the healthy stuff in there mixed with a can of processed cow meat resembling dog food.

‘But what’s this?’ I thought as I held the can aloft like the FA Cup. It was a key to open it up. Had I been transported back to the 80’s? Had it been in the cupboard so long that it actually WAS from the 1980’s?! Surely we have tin openers or ring pulls for this sort of thing these days. Reluctantly but feeling a bit Hangry by this stage I began to use the key. I wanted that processed meat and this bloody key wasn’t going to stop me.

I got to the half way mark of opening the can. It was a slow process. At one point I tried squeezing the can to see if the meat would slop out at the open end. It didn’t. It remained solid. But now the bulged can became so much harder to open. Eventually, I had managed to open it without any cuts or too much swearing. I could have my mixed bean and corned beef lunch at last.

Corned beef is processed of course and it isn’t the type of food you should be eating too much of for it’s quality protein value or it’s vitamins, but there’s worse things that I could have gone for. It satisfied my mind when what I had given my body for the past 48 hours was white bread, oil and fat. Corned beef was actually a better option! And I had to start somewhere.

For the past 15 years I have carefully planned my eating habits to include the type of foods that experts and headlines say that we should avoid. It’s not just the gym goals or the aesthetics that are at stake, but we must consider our overall health. I know that I can’t live off poor nutritional foods for this reason, but I also know that I can balance the occasional poor nutritional food choices with the foods that are considered highly nutritious.

I want an occasional beer without running to the scales. I want to enjoy a family meal with cake for dessert. I live in Scarborough. The locals would hunt me down if I banned fish and chips! These meals can be enjoyed with the right attitude and a healthy relationship with your food. Sometimes we are so busy trying to fix our physical issues that we forget how to work with our mental issues. And yet if we can beat our anxieties around food I know that the physical issues are so much easier to fix too.

It might be another 30 years until I have to go through the trauma of opening up a can of corned beef again, but at that moment it scratched an itch that had been left behind from the weekend. Now I can move on!

The Slippery Slope Fallacy

I’m very careful how I use the term ‘slippery slope’. Has anybody told you that it’s the start of a slippery slope just because you have done something that goes against their agenda. They are suggesting that just because you have done something against what is perceived to be the right path that this will become an unhealthy habit leading to the slippery slope. It is commonly known as The Slippery Road Fallacy.

An example would be an arguer suggesting that if we ban rifles this will lead to banning hand guns, and then cap guns, then water pistols and before we know it snowballs have been outlawed.

Another example of this is how many of us develop this anxiety around our own diets. You restrict or ban certain foods in an attempt to lose weight but when you deviate from this diet and eat a food outside of the ‘rules’ you are annoyed that you allowed yourself to do this and you feel like a failure. The self fulfilled prophetic nature takes over you and you believe that because you have deviated once that you will do it again…and again…and again.

You tell yourself that you will write today or this week off because you over ate anyway. You start to binge all of the foods outside of the rules of your diet. In the end you don’t even want to eat it, but you continue to do so anyway. It’s almost like self harm. You feel a release as you eat it but feel pain and depression afterwards. The cycle continues. You have entered the slippery slop fallacy.

Now imagine an alternative. There is no diet that will take us on the right path, but there’s no slippery slope either. There’s just a path. Your path.

As you walk down your path you discover that there’s a huge selection of foods to pick from. There’s lots of great tasting, nutritious foods here but you also see the foods that you thought were forbidden. A sin. The foods with added sugar, salt, fats and ultimately calories. Foods that the headlines tell you to ‘avoid if you want to lose weight’. But as you continue walking along your path here they are, harmlessly growing amongst the stuff we’re told that you should eat. Nothing is restricted.

You know that, on your way, the occasional bit of extra sugar or calories will not alter your path . It won’t lead you onto another direction nor one that becomes slippery. Your path stays the same. No up hill battles. No unknown detours. Your path remains constant.

Having tried so many different approaches to dieting myself including not eating anything at all for long periods, I know quite a lot about the psychological impact that food anxieties can bring.

I am beginning my Balanced Plate Challenge on my fitness app next month and I am determined to show as many people as possible that there is an alternative to feeling shame, disappointment, anxiety and depression around their diets. There’s a path that they build, that they walk down and with the foods that they enjoy.

There is no slippery slope unless you invent one.

In Case Of A Zombie Apocalypse

If I have to run from a zombie in the event of a zombie apocalypse, I now know that I have a good 12 minutes in me at an average pace of 10.8 km per hour. I think I can outrun a zombie, although it does depend on whether it would be an original George A Romero slow type or a zippy kind from the remakes. But with the cost of petrol at the moment I’ll take my chances on foot with either type of the undead. Like I say, I now know that I can outrun them.

This morning I did the Cooper Test. Something that I didn’t consider when I set up my Fitness App is that while I’m sat at home in my undies watching Corrie on an evening instructing everyone else to do these fitness tests that I would have to do them too. I really should have thought this through.

I’m joking of course. Well, half joking. I don’t jump out of bed on a morning thinking ‘how far can I run today?!’ Instead I jump out of bed thinking ‘what can I lift today?’

Most of my own training involves resistance. I firmly believe that to get the most out of your fitness journey you must do what you enjoy and what you are good at. For me, my motivation comes from a hypertrophy and strength programme. My goal is to be as strong as I can be and remain lean. I don’t necessarily need to run to get that. Or at least, that’s what I tell myself.

But in telling myself that I am avoiding the bigger picture and the bigger picture (hopefully) isn’t a zombie apocalypse, but the ageing process. I’ve written and spoken about the human needs to run, swim, climb, lift, throw and push. The human body has evolved to be very good at these things and denying my body any of them will potentially cause me issues in older age. Like it or not I need to experience running. What’s the point in lifting a PB deadlift if I can’t run for the ball as I play football with my grandkids? Training should include functional and practical stuff too.

I use the 80/20 rule for my own fitness. 80% is the training that I enjoy and excel in and the 20% is what I have to do and what I might not enjoy so much. It’s a decent compromise.

I vary my workouts with phases so I often ‘rep out’ and do supersets and circuits throughout my programming so I rarely just lift a weight for one rep and then scroll Facebook for ten minutes. So I know that I have good fitness levels. And in fact I used to be a champion runner for my school, although beating Pete Slowbottom in 1994 doesn’t count for much now.

I’ve only ever done two official Cooper Runs before. Both were fitness tests for the Army and then to become a PT. I passed with ease and I have no problem at taking on any fitness challenge or trying out any sport. But it doesn’t mean that I like every aspect of fitness or like every sport. It was reassuring to know that I could still get a good score in my latest Cooper Test though.

If the zombies take over the world, I’ll be way in front of most of the population…for at least 12 minutes anyway.

If I can’t outrun a zombie my plan B is to pretend to be one

Top Tips For Overcoming A Plateau Through Progressive Overload

Progressive Overload is a technique used to avoid training plateau and to meet set goals. Whatever your goals might be it could be that this needs to be incorporated into your schedule as this can enable you to become stronger and more flexible, increase endurance and make you feel pretty good about yourself which will keep you interested in going back for more!

Here’s my top 10 tips for Progressive Overload…

1. Add extra weight. Probably the most common way of Progressive Overload is to add more weight to the bar once you have mastered a certain weight. Be careful not to rush this though, there are other steps you might want to take first…

2. Add extra reps. If you feel comfortable after a while with a set of 16’s for 12 reps then challenge yourself at 15 reps.

3. Add extra sets. You might have benched X amount for 12 reps and 3 sets for a while now. Adding an extra set, just like adding extra reps, is adding volume to your routine.

4. Reduce rest periods. You don’t have to time yourself or have a stop watch, but being mindful of how long you are resting can help. Reducing your rest will challenge your next set.

5. Run instead of walk. Whether on the treadmill or in a park decide on an interval routine such as Fartlek training to mix things up.

6. Increase endurance. Make your workouts longer. If you have been used to a 30 minute routing then add a little bit of extra time on.

7. Slow the reps down or Time Under Tension (TUT). Your downward phase of a bench press is the eccentric phase. This increases the pressure on your muscle for each rep. Lowering a weight for 3,4,5 or more seconds adds better technique and good progression.

8. Add a different exercise. Its not advised to change your whole routine with every gym visit. You need consistency for your body to learn and adapt, but throwing in something different along with your current programme can help you come through a plateau. Challenge yourself with a Cooper run or a deadlift PB for motivation.

9. Perform supersets. Instead of doing a bicep curl routine and then a tricep routine, complete sets doing both together. So as soon as you finish your bicep curl for 12 go straight into 12 skull crushers.

10. Add an extra training day. If you are currently training 4 days a week, move to 5 days. This could be something that you do just to overcome your plateau as it might not suit your lifestyle in the long term, but you might also find that it does and you enjoy fitting in an extra session!

The general rule is that volume should come before intensity. In other words, adding more reps, sets or lowering rest periods should be done before adding more weight. With any progression, ensure that you are happy with your current form before advancing. There’s no point adding more reps or plates to a poor set of bench presses.

Contact me for further advice on your goals and ask about my training app for more workout ideas!

Server Not Responding

I need some time to think.

Being educated in three strict Catholic schools growing up my thinking time, or ‘thoughts and prayers’, were done in a church.

Perhaps being taught by strict Nuns didn’t help my views on religion though. Religious Education was all about Catholicism and I grew up with a very blinkered view of faith.

As a teenager I bought and read the Quran which maybe proves my rebellious nature more than it does my intrigue into religion. Spanish was taught in my GCSE years, so I learnt German in my spare time. I was taught Shakespeare by my teachers so I read and quoted Leonard Cohen instead. I was sent out of a History class once for questioning why we weren’t taught black history. In a 1995 Catholic school you didn’t question their teachings. My name in the staff room was probably mud.

I’m slightly envious of a person who has faith in a God. That must be a deep and profound relationship which holds reassurances I cannot even begin to imagine. Sometimes, if we watch the 10 0’Clock news too much, reassurance is important. But I can’t pretend to be someone I am not.

I need some time to think.

My eldest son, who goes to a Church of England school, says that he is a Christian. He knows that his mum and I are not and I admire his independence in making up his own mind. I’m trying my hardest to get him to support Liverpool instead of Aston Villa! But I’d never try and change his mind regarding his faith. He is his own person and I will try to guide his beliefs whilst being honest to myself too.

On the occasional Sunday it is ‘update’ time on their game Fortnite. This is when the whole gaming community start climbing the walls as their console screen reads ‘Server not responding’. A new chapter in the game is downloading and it can take a few hours before it can be played. If I’ve lost you in this last paragraph then don’t worry. Fortnite is lost on me too. But the important thing here is the window of opportunity to drag the kids away from the computer screen and take them to my place of worship. After all, I’ve been to Jonas’ many times.

I need some time to think.

As we walk along the cliff edge at Cornelian bay I find my time. There’s something satisfying in looking out to where the sky meets the sea. The spring sunshine shimmers across the cold North Sea as it crashes against the rocks below. The smell of the salty waves and seaweed is fresh as it reaches my senses way above the cliff top. The breeze mixed with the occasional gust of wind waters my eyes. Or at least, that’s what I tell my wife as she catches a tear from my cheek. I’d be a rich man if I could bottle that moment and sell it. But I’m richer still by telling you about it for free. That moment is there for anybody to feel.

Fortnite is back on now. The boys only get console time over the weekend so I don’t mind their enthusiasm to get back home to play on it. Not only did they accompany me to my thinking place but they also helped forage for gorse and nettle, so they deserve their free time.

Whether we pray, meditate or walk and think it plays a crucial role in our mental health. Another of my thinking places is at the gym, but it is a very different experience of course. Thoughts are often interrupted by conversations about macros and deadlifts. And I’m fine with that. My schooling might not have been my greatest learning experience, but one subject I do know is macros and deadlifts.

I need some time to think. And you do too. Wherever you go to get that time, make sure that you prioritize it as much as you do your eating, sleeping, training and breathing. It can keep us healthy. It can keep us alive.

Consistency, Variety And How To Put It Right

We are constantly being told that our training must be consistent for us to get the results that we seek. How true is this? And is there any room for variety in our training. Variety, after all, is the spice of life.

Consistency in your training is very important, but the levels and types of consistency will vary depending on your goals. For example, for fat loss goals you need to develop a consistent routine of when you exercise. This plays a big part in your overall lifestyle goals such as mood and eating habits. Yet for muscle hypertrophy it is essential that not only a consistent routine is developed, but a consistent type of movement is too. But let’s focus on fat loss for today as the two goals are like different sports.

Let’s take a look a person A, who has fat loss goals. Here is a list of mistakes that I see on a daily basis and how he can put this right…

× he says that he wants to lose weight.

✓ when an individual understands what it is that they want to lose from their body the process becomes easier straight away. It’s fat that he wants to lose. Not muscle, an arm or an organ.

× he doesn’t plan his week around exercise.

✓ like any goal, it needs a certain amount of planning. At the beginning of the week, he should choose the days and times that he will exercise.

× his plan of a home workout in Monday could not happen because of work commitments so he ditched the whole week in plans.

✓ sticking to a plan, even if it doesn’t happen on a certain day, will still help him achieve his goals. His Monday workout could either be done on a different day or he can go for a walk when the time is right to make up for it.

× he follows a ‘diet’ that his mate told him about.

✓ every diet must have the same conclusion…it has to be in a calorie deficit. This means that he must eat fewer calories than he burns. This can be done by eating food that he enjoys with good nutrition and protein options.

× his exercise program becomes demotivating. Johnny Gainz from Gainz Bruh YouTube channel gave his followers two kick ass ab exercises to do.

✓ he needs a consistent exercise routine, but those exercises should be fun and varied. Although certain compounds will remain a constant throughout his training, these can be done with different equipment, rep ranges, as a circuit or as supersets. And full body workouts with a calorie deficit will get rid of belly fat. Not a hundred hanging leg raises. Johnny Gainz forgot to tell his followers that.

Person A became annoyed at not planning and when he did he found that other commitments got in the way. He listened to his pal regarding diet tips who’s own weight goes up and down more than an elevator at Trump Towers and he watches YouTube clips of jacked topless dudes talking him through a human flag routine. In the end the only consistency he maintained is the part where he says that he’ll start again in January. His variety comes from a box of Celebrations.

Attempting positive, consistent routines in his life doesn’t make him a control freak. Building structure and setting weekly targets is not anal retentive.

From being a baby a human will develop routines that work for them. They will crawl to a certain bit of furniture each day to climb to their feet and attempt to walk until eventually they will walk by doing it consistently. Many times they will fall and cry. But they will walk one day through development and persistence.

As we get older and life becomes much more chaotic, it is easy to forget how we were all that baby once. We attempt to be swan like above the surface but the feet are frantically trying to navigate us through another day below it.

Person A has already got the experience of achieving his goals, he just can’t remember them.

A Safe Ship Hides Away From It’s Full Potential

It helps having a past full of ‘what ifs’ as a PT. I can draw from my own experiences and, 9 times out of 10, instantly connect with a new trainee because they have the same ‘what ifs’ as me.

Most of the subject matters might be different of course. For me it’s my lack of traveling when I was younger or not saving money when I had the chance. I chose to spend my money on nights out in Leeds and clothes that I didn’t need. One night out in Leeds, even 15 years ago, would easily cost £100. Most weeks I’d go out clubbing twice a week. That’s a lot of the world I could have seen. Instead, I got no further than Majestic’s in Quebec Street, Leeds 1.

I had fun. Regrets don’t weigh too heavily on me. But there is often a ‘what if’ moment as I look back.

Another of those moments and this I can guarantee is something that is identifiable with my trainees is the feeling of unlocking my fitness potential. What if I’d have done this sooner, or done it properly first time round?

Fitter than I’ve ever been now at 43, had I had this knowledge and application 25 years ago could I have saved years of physical pain and mental anguish? I think I know the answer, but it will forever remain a ‘what if’.

I am convinced that, as human beings, we were meant to climb, lift, run, squat, throw and jump. And yet we became so clever that we practically abolished these great human traits and replaced them with lifts, cars, trams, supermarkets, takeaways, online ordering and anything else that required us to do as little as possible in order to get what we wanted. We wanted convenience.

Physically we can still do all of these things that we were designed (or evolved) to do but mentally we are becoming so tied up in the notion that we don’t have to do it.

Our society is becoming fatter and more depressed. We know what we should do. We have a history of millions of years telling us what we should do, but the comfort of convenience takes over.

And it’s not about how many miles you can run or how much weight you can lift. Unlocking your full potential begins by moving. That’s it. That’s the first part and it’s a huge step for lots of people.

But fear engulfs us. We feel safer in doing what we know, even if it niggles away at us as we complain on Facebook about our weight or our latest ailment. We want the replies of ‘You ok Hun?’. We get the rant off of our chest to anyone who will listen for another week or two.

A ship is always safe a shore but it is not what it is built for. No matter how slow it needs to go, a ship is built to move. In doing so it heads into dangerous waters with unprecedented conditions, but it is built to deal with it and reach it’s destination. With a captain and a map the journey is less treacherous too.

We must realise our full potential and set sail ourselves. Another day a shore is another wondering.

My trainees become their own captain. That is the deal, that one day they can train without me. They create an active lifestyle that involves consistent training and a diet that they can enjoy guilt free. Because I know how they felt in the very first day they approached me. And I know how to manage the ‘what if’.

A Husband…

Not A True Story

The other day I had been training for an hour and i noticed a guy training beside me for a while. We gave a few nods to one another as we selected our weights and at one point I muttered “have you finished with those 22’s pal”. Our training intensified. I felt pretty good that day and this guy was obviously a veteran of the free weights area. We ended up simultaneously grunting out each rep which, to the other side of the gym, must have sounded like a porno you order on Wish. We were scraping ourselves off of the floor by the end, obviously being spurred on by each other. He turned to me, smiled and said”Why do we do it to ourselves?”

I get this question a lot. I usually just smile and say “I dunno. I’m getting too old for this.” But on that particular day, I said….

“Training can help boost energy levels, self esteem, sleep quality and mood. It helps us combat health conditions and diseases including strokes, type 2 diabetes, arthritis, depression and cancer. Research also tells us that performing regular exercise reduces our chance of becoming seriously ill from Covid.

Resistance training not only helps us in the now but we are giving ourselves the best chance to be as independent as possible in later life. It shapes our body through increasing bone density and muscle firmness and keeps us from wanting to eat and drink poor food choices because we are proud of our goal setting and our achievements and we don’t want to destroy our good work.

I become a better dad and husband after training. My mindset is in a much better place because I feel strong both physically and mentally. People meet friends while working out and a gym can be a place of sanctuary and a social hub.

I can wear T-shirts and feel proud of my body. I sometimes tense my bicep and say ‘Hello Mr Bicep’ in the same voice as Phoebe did to Chandler in Friends. I could even squeeze into skinny jeans if I were into that kind of fashion because after a few squats I think my ass looks like Beyonce’s. It probably doesn’t, but I don’t care because I think it does and it is my body and I have to live in it every single day and if I think I’ve got a good ass then I have a good ass.”

As I stood towards the mirror and twerked my booty whilst giving it a firm slap, he walked away shaking his head. I’ve not seen him since.