mental health – Page 12 – Never Give Up PT

Smoothie Does It!

Like with most kids (and many adults) they can be fussy around certain foods. Textures, tastes and smells can put a kid right off. If only a banana looked like a chicken dipper!

My youngest has started to check his food to the extend of him looking at a slice of melon like Gil Grissom analysing a crime scene.

Finlay examines the black bits on the watermelon

And I must admit, there are foods that I wouldn’t be too fond of eating if they were put on a plate for me. Medjool dates are a prime example. But if I prepare them with lots of other fruit and vegetables into a smoothie then I can enjoy them.

I have found this with my kids, especially if they prepare their own smoothies and experiment with different ingredients then there is a much greater chance of them getting the nutrients and vitamins that they need without the fuss.

This morning they prepared a banana, strawberry, orange juice and spinach smoothie. They hate bananas and spinach and my youngest doesn’t like strawberries, but they enjoyed the process of creating their own smoothie and were pleased with what they had come up with. They felt empowered.

I have a smoothie at least once a day. A zesty citrus ensemble on a morning and usually a banana, milk and protein powder later in the afternoon. I find that smoothies can…

* Stops the hunger pangs and feeling snacky.

*Wake me up on a morning.

* Fit into my calorie and macro goals and I am getting the fibre into my body that I wouldn’t get if I were eating a meal.

Although I would never consider them a meal replacement, I do put ingredients into a smoothie that I would not make into a meal. I know that I wouldn’t eat the recommended daily fruit and veg that I need if I had to prepare it as part of a meal. I enjoy cooking, but sometimes life doesn’t allow us the time to spend on making the perfect balanced meal. This is why the convenience of a smoothie maker works for me and my family.

One of my biggest concerns is for my kids to be getting good nutritious food into them each day. It’s a constant battle. And when I know what they have as school dinners the need to feed them proper food at home is even more important. I’m not looking for clean eating and banning foods for me or my kids, but a balanced approach is a sensible one. And so far it’s working!

Our Comfort Zone

Ah, the comfort zone. Has anybody told you to get out of your comfort zone? It’s been said to me many times, usually back in my 20’s some vgdguvidrdddyuhd years ago.

But what is it? And how do you know how to get out of it if you don’t know what it is?!

Your comfort zone is unique to you. Your comfort zone will be an absolute terrible experience to some people. And therefore being out of your comfort zone is a unique experience that belongs to you too.

I can guarantee that there are people in the UK right now who have to get out of their comfort zone by getting out of bed, leaving the house or having to talk to another human being. Perhaps you are one of these people and this resonates with you. You are not alone.

According to a study by mentalhealth.org.uk in 2014 almost 20% of over 16 year olds were showing symptoms of anxiety or depression. With the difficulties many of us have faced in the past couple of years I can’t imagine this statistic improving.

So then, for our mental and physical fitness, to get out of our comfort zone means something very different to each person that I speak to. To some it is lifting a certain weight that they have never lifted before. To others it is running a distance that they haven’t been able to reach before. Or it could be training for an important event that they’ve never competed in before. Maybe it’s taking that first step into the gym or fitness class. But simply buying some trainers or walking boots and taking a walk each day is a massive positive step too.

Walking is just as much of a mood booster as a set of deadlifts. I enjoy both. I enjoy the feeling that I get once it is completed. During physical activities can be tough and testing of course, but I enjoy the rhythm of the repetition of resistance training. When I walk I enjoy gathering my thoughts or sharing ideas with a walking partner. It is therapy.

When I think of the current clutter in my head that is all of the stuff that requires being out of my comfort zone I think of starting my new YouTube channel. Social media can be brutal. But I’m doing it for my next out of my comfort zone challenge, which is becoming a meditation guide. If people don’t know that I exist then I’ll never coach or guide anybody. So I have to be brave in trying something that is very different for me.

And my other fear is ringing my bank to ask why the Sky direct debit has been cancelled. Really, the thought of speaking to my bank sends me into a panic! I can teach a class of 30 people and pretend to be Freddie Mercury in front of a hundred holiday makers in Lanzarote (I might have had a few drinks for that one) but the thought of having to speak to my bank on the phone sends me in a right tizz.

They will ask me for my password. I don’t know what it is! They need my date of birth. I always get tongue tied with that? They’ll need information from me that I know but when they ask me I’ll have no idea at all! My wife keeps on top of all of this stuff, but the Sky payments are in my name.

I know it’ll sound ridiculous to some people, but it’ll strike a chord with others. I’m not the only one who hates official phone calls with strangers.

And that’s why we are all different. I’m nervous about going into the gym every day, yet I’m a PT! How can that be?! I mix it up with a bit of being the Joker and being professional (I’m confident that I know my job, which helps) but it doesn’t stop me from getting butterflies sometimes. The adrenaline keeps me passionate. Maybe it’s when I stop getting nervous that I should be worried.

The final word…

Our comfort zone is one to break free of now and again but only when the time is right for you. And once you are out of it, then it is for you to decide how far you can go. But if you get the small stuff right to begin with it can lead to bigger things. Give it a go. As for me, my little step is to ring my bloody bank this afternoon. Wish me luck!

https://youtube.com/channel/UC_2ukEG1FHIgU2rJEOOYCJA

If you can’t fly…

I’m sorry that I’ve been a little absent from my blogs recently. In all honesty, the last few days have felt a bit hectic. Not an unhappy, miserable sort of hectic. But not a dancing round in the sitting room in my undies listening to Harry Styles kind of hectic either (not that I’ve ever,ever,ever done that. Ever.)

It’s just seemed a 100 miles an hour over the past few days and I’m trying to spin the many plates that I’ve given myself.

I enjoy plate spinning when the plates aren’t crashing. In my circus I would be a decent plate spinner. Some days I’d even be bold enough to unicycle on the tight rope a hundred feet high and still spin the plates. But in the past few days, had the Ringmaster introduced me to the audience I would’ve tripped over my large clown shoes before getting to the stage. Of course, I would’ve gotten straight to my feet, smiled and tooted my big red nose and made the crowd laugh. That’s what I do.

Feeling under the weather on Sunday hasn’t helped where my head is now. I like to keep on top of things and my work doesn’t allow for illness. I stay strong and in control. But it isn’t a weakness to feel ill. It’s just that it rarely happens to me so when it does I feel a bit discombobulated.

My work not only helps me to understand others, but it helps me to understand myself too. When my trainees feel a bit out of sorts I totally get it. I’m not into the ‘no pain, no gain’ attitude to exercise. Sometimes just putting your training shoes on and doing what you can is massive. We’re not always on top of our game. It doesn’t need any great explanation or reasoning. It’s just how it is. Each day we wake up and try again.

It reminds me of a quote by Martin Luther King. He said…

“If you can’t fly then run. If you can’t run then walk. If you can’t walk then crawl. But whatever you do, you have to keep moving.”

You can’t be flying all of the time and when you realize this you can then be pleased with the little steps that you are able to do. When you are ready, you will take off again. Never give up.

My YouTube channel is here if you want to take a look!

https://youtube.com/channel/UC_2ukEG1FHIgU2rJEOOYCJA

13 Years And Still Going Strong

Yesterday my wife Louise and I celebrated 13 years of marriage. We’ve been together now for almost 16 years and we are still making a strong team.

As with any healthy relationship, we have had testing times too. But we work hard at keeping what we have because it is special. I think it comes down to communication. We try not to let things fester and address our issues by talking to each other as soon as we can. We support each other. Sometimes I’m the stronger one and sometimes it’s Lou.

I knew that I couldn’t continue my Support Worker career and be the father that I wanted to be. Lou made me believe in myself that a change was possible. The hours and the risks were making me unhappy and I knew that I would miss out on being a dad to our new born. Also, the wages aren’t enough for the responsibility of a Support Worker. Lou knew that health and fitness was my number one passion and she told me that I could be a PT. The cost of the course and the extra hours in attending it each weekend for almost a year on top of my full time job would be difficult to do, but Lou said that I must do it. She knew how important is was to me.

And then I returned the favour! A few years later and being a full time mum to two little boys, Lou needed to get back into work. I encouraged her to follow her dreams in going to college to learn holistic therapies. She now runs a successful business in the centre of Scarborough.

We could’ve played it safe. Staying in the same City that we knew, plodding on in the same jobs. But to get to this stage in our lives, we have lived in three different cities, two towns, 6 houses. We’ve created 3 successful businesses. We have worked together as support workers, Cafe managers, nightclub bar staff and shortbread biscuit entrepreneurs. Together, we’re quite a formidable team. And we’re not afraid to change something if it isn’t working or it is no longer enjoyable. As individuals we have changed and our relationship has evolved because of our need to change something that is not making us happy. Like I say, we don’t let anything fester.

Yesterday was a hoot. We both took the day off work and played the tourists in our hometown of Scarborough. When you live somewhere it’s easy to miss the beauty or the fun bits of it. Life becomes about getting to work and back, the weekly shop and getting the kids to school and extra curricular stuff. So yesterday we made it just about us and the fun to be had on South Bay and an evening meal at one of our favourite restaurants. Just looking through my photos it looks more like a pub crawl! I’m holding up a glass of something alcoholic in almost every picture! But it definitely wasn’t like that. I had appointments this morning so I stayed very sensible.

So here’s to the next 13 years. We’ll see how many more houses we can live in. One thing we haven’t done yet is take our business ideas to a different country and we are desperate to give that a go. Watch this space!

Morning Positivity Meditation

Below is a link to my Morning Positivity Meditation. This time next month I will be fully qualified to guide groups and 1-1 meditations and thought I’d share a preview.

I’m excited about this as I am passionate about the power of meditation and mental health. Anything we want to achieve physically always begins with a positive mindset in the first place.

https://mindist.page.link/sbHD

Practice Falling Over And You’ll Be The Best Faller Overer Ever

We’ve all heard of the phrase ‘Practice makes perfect’ right?

Well as much as I agree with the sentiment, I’m going to explain to you what it actually means to me. Because it comes with a caveat.

I believe that you can practice something really badly. You could be perfectly bad at it I suppose, but I don’t think that is the purpose of the phrase ‘Practice makes perfect’.

I’ll use the bench press as an example. Repeating the bench press incorrectly each day will undoubtedly cause injury. Shoulder injuries around the rotator cuff, which are muscles and tendons that surround the shoulder joint, are very common due to poor technique.

I have seen some very impressive weight being pushed in the gym but with horrendous form! Form doesn’t just allow us to actually train the muscle that we are supposed to be training, but it helps us avoid injury.

Practicing correct form AND doing the right things specific to your goals is important. My son wants to practice a rainbow flick in the garden for an hour each day because he has seen Neymar do it. I go through this technique with him for a certain length of time because he enjoys it and then I encourage him to move onto his practical skills. Pass and move, target practice, ball shielding and tackling are all part of the game that he will need to do withing a match. There has to be a sensible mix of the fun stuff and the stuff that gets the job done!

Awards for playing football, not for rainbow flicks

It’s like the row of dudes training their nightclub muscles in front of the gym mirror every day. A pumped up bicep made up of sarcoplasm (blood and water) bulging from their T-Shirt looks good and probably makes them feel great. Fine. But over working the bicep instead of training all of the muscle groups equally will not provide an overall athletic, healthy and practical body. The older they get, this will become apparent. Age can be unkind and pumped up biceps won’t hide the years of neglect in other areas.

And as for my son, unless he becomes Neymar or goes into the circus he will probably never need to perform a rainbow flick for any great purpose (even Neymar gets booked for doing it).

I always say to my trainees ‘practice, practice, practice’. It’s not always popular when I prescribe yet another 5 sets of squats for them to perform but it is necessary. I know that they have good form and I also know that, through progressive overload, they will continue to get better and stronger.

I fear that the regular gym goer won’t ask a PT or gym staff about good form anymore. Either there’s no point in asking because they don’t really know (watch them train themselves, I wouldn’t ask some of them how to lift something heavy above my head) or it is perceived that a PT will try to sell you their services. Often this is true, they’re at work after all. But if you find a dedicated fitness professional they will happily discuss gym form with you. It should be their passion. So ask one who you see regularly and doesn’t seem pushy with their sales. Who knows, if they impress you and you feel that you can progress with them as your coach then you might choose to have them as your PT.

So don’t continue doing something wrong. It’s not impressive getting a PB if it means you put your back out. Start practicing doing it right and make progress injury free.

The Streisand Effect

In 2003 the California Coastal Records Project wanted to take pictures in the Malibu area to record the cause of coastal erosion. But in doing so, they inadvertently took photographs of Barbera Streisand’s home.

As you can imagine, in the affluent area of Malibu, her house was one of many big houses with acres of land and nobody knew that it was Streisand’s home. In fact, nobody really cared.

It was only when her lawyers brought attention to this picture and accused the photographer of breaking privacy rights did the whole world suddenly care about where Streisand lived. Her house was now being shared on the newest sharing networks at the time and every newspaper in the world had published the picture of Streisand’s home.

The acts of Streisand and her lawyers not only created the opposite effect of what they wanted, but it escalated into what we now know as The Streisand Effect. Attempting to prohibit something which leads to increased attention.

Have you ever had an experience where you have tried to prohibit something which leads you to want this forbidden fruit even more?

As a coach specialising in weight control I have come across people trying to ban chocolate, crisps, takeaways, carbs, fats, eating before a certain time, eating after a certain time. They’ve tried to cancel alcohol, bread, cheese, coca cola and even some types of fruit and veg because they have been told that it will contribute to their weight gain.

9 times out of 10, when they banned a type of food, this tactic exploded in their face and led to a situation that became out of control. Suddenly, this food type is wanted even more because of the restrictions put upon it.

It’s like when I tell my kids that I have just painted the door frame you can bet that they touch it. And it’s not just my kids. If my wife tells me that the bath water is too hot I will get in anyway and have two red arse cheeks while I try to place my feet on each side of the tub to hover above the lava like, hotter than hell, water below.

Like the media frenzy at Streisand’s lawyers calling for privacy rights, we begin to obsess at what we are told we shouldn’t see, do and eat.

In the month before the lawsuit, the picture had been downloaded 6 times. The month following the lawsuit the picture had been downloaded 420,000 times.

In my personal experience if I agree to a takeaway every 4 weeks then I give myself a happy compromise. If I tell myself that takeaways are banned then I would want one this coming weekend. I also like cheese. I know that I go through periods of eating too much of it. Yet if I can develope a habit where I have one evening a week where I eat cheese and biscuits rather than cut cheese out of my diet altogether then I won’t feel resentment or frustration towards my health and fitness goals. In fact I have found that I go without cheese and biscuits for weeks and weeks now because it just isn’t a part of my thoughts. I created a positive habit that became so constructive that my obsession for cheese wasn’t even a thing anymore.

And if you’re wondering what happened to the lawsuit, it was dropped later that year. The paradoxical effect had already done the damage.

If you have any questions regarding weight control then please get in touch. Thanks for reading. See you soon!

A picture of my house instead of Streisand’s house as I don’t want to get sued.

Father’s Day

Father’s Day and the whole of the weekend was a nutritional disaster. Well, actually it wasn’t. I bloody loved my low value nutritional feast! What’s disastrous about that? But here’s why I allowed such a diet and why I can look back at a great weekend guilt free…

On Saturday (the day before Father’s Day) I met up with my dad with my family and his friends in a beer garden at Cayton Bay. Firstly I was happy to drive. A few hours drinking in the sun doesn’t appeal to me like it did once upon a time. I have kids, I have an online business that can require my attention at any time and I’m a tight Yorkshireman. Pints were £1.50 the last time I had any interest in drinking all day in a pub beer garden. So me not drinking didn’t have anything to do with my diet which requires me to be in a calorie deficit. I made up with it with the BBQ that the pub had provided.

On the Sunday we travelled to see my in laws. Graham’s famous paella was on offer plus burgers and chips. It was on offer so, of course, I ate it. Over the two days here’s what I had to eat in total…

* 6 scrambled eggs with two slices of tiger bread

* 4 cheese burgers

* 1 wild boar hot dog

* beef curry and fried rice takeaway

* 4 portions of chips

* Seafood salad

* 1 family sized bar of chocolate

* half box of Pringles

My protein is actually quite high from the weekend, but so are my calories! And I don’t care.

There are occasions in the year that we need to give ourselves a break. I’m dedicated to my goals but, because I’m dedicated, I don’t allow my goals to become a chain around my neck. I make sure that I don’t resent my goals or the process. I’m not an athlete. Yes, I’m a Personal Trainer but I’m also a regular person that wants to enjoy family holidays, Christmas, anniversaries and family gatherings. I’m not a footballer going to bed early on Christmas night because of the early kick off on Boxing Day. Pay me a Premier League wage and I’ll do it!

But I am mentally prepared for what these ‘breaks’ within my goals will require. It means that today, the day after my indulgence, I have to become disciplined again. By the end of the week any added calories from the weekend will be balanced out with structure and commitment. I can still enjoy these moments with my family and bring my nutrition, macros and calories back in line without anxiety.

I chose to binge and over indulge at the weekend. I now choose to track calories and my nutrition. I choose to train hard this week and at least make use of all the energy that I put into my body! It is all my choice. Not once did I feel out of control.

I work with some people who are trying to find that balance. One high calorie and low nutrition day can create their eating habits to spiral. One day leads to another. And another. They become frustrated and angry with themselves and they feel like giving in.

But I need to tell them and anyone who will listen that they don’t have to! One, two bad days. Jeez even a week of poor choices doesn’t ruin their hard work. What they do with their next week might and the week after that perhaps. Because that is where habits begin to form. But a few days? No. Not if they remain in control.

We can choose the high calorie and low nutrition foods if we know that we won’t be anxious about it. Enjoy it and move on. But it’s the moving on that is the vital component. We need to move on from poor food choices.

I felt great this morning. I had a lovely weekend celebrating Father’s Day. I ate what I wanted with no regrets and I was ready to focus once again. In many ways I think I needed that weekend. I needed to break the monotony of my structure. As much as I enjoy my structure, I like burgers and Chinese takeaway too!

And Here’s The Icing On The Cake…

The saying “You can’t outrun a bad diet” is true. Because eventually your poor choices will catch up with you and running will become harder anyway. But if you have structure with your meals and in your workouts then you can outrun a poor day, weekend or holiday. And then the only reason it would be poor is if you didn’t enjoy it and you became anxious about the calorie density of each choice. It would only be poor if you allowed yourself to form negative habits around food.

I enjoy food. All food. But I remain in control and look forward to another occasion where I can over indulge again. But until then, I choose to be in control of my diet and enjoy the process and its results.

Thank you for taking the time to read this article. See you soon!

Becoming Process Focussed, Not Outcome Focussed

I want to share with you the difference between a Process Focussed attitude and an Outcome Focussed attitude. Because when you can give yourself a little tap on the shoulder and remind yourself of the process then the outcome will eventually happen. I promise.

It All Needs A Process

I am so, so good at this in the gym with myself and my clients. I focus entirely on the process. That is my job. It’s what I am trained and disciplined in. But outside of the gym I have goals that I want now…right this second! And in frustration of not being able to get them right now means that the process gets crumpled up and torn like a handy pocket road map that has been stomped on during my tantrums. Had I kept a level head, the road map would still be intact and it would be easier to follow. The tap on the shoulder from myself, a professional, a partner or a friend can work wonders in working out the process for anything. A career move, a life skill, family life and health and fitness goals. It all needs a process.

Sometimes we just see a 10k run, a dress size, a one rep max or a weight loss target. The finer details of how we are getting there is the real key.

In football, the skill isn’t knowing that you need to score more goals than the opposition, it is how you’re going to do it. You can give any sporting example of this and it remains the same. The process needs to be the focus. The outcome harbours great rewards, but without the process you won’t get there.

Frustrations Of The Outcome Focus

So I’m not getting on my high horse here and telling you that I do everything perfectly and you need to step up. You might be able to help me find my process in other aspects of life with your skills. But I’m here to talk about fitness goals. And I’ve been prompted to give it a mention because the gym is full of outcome focussed people. They press, lift, run and jump without any attention to their process. They just want the results. And this can lead to frustration and in many cases injury.

And when you figure out a process for one thing, other parts of your life can begin to take shape too. Have you ever experienced getting a promotion in your career and found that your relationships in your private life improved? You have followed a process and met deadlines, hit targets, gave your colleagues morale boosts or took them under your wing and you got rewarded in your promotion. This made you feel good in other aspects of your life too.

It’s the same in your fitness goals. Once you begin a process in your fitness goals then you begin to focus on your day to day tasks that make up the little wins. And it’s not just about doing this in a gym. Imagine going for a walk with a friend or a partner away from the daily grind. Here you can discuss your ambitions, your feelings or put the world to rights. You feel great and you’ve managed a few thousand steps as well. Make this a regular exercise and you have started the process for your mental and physical health.

Becoming process focussed takes away the big issue that seems, at times, unobtainable…the outcome. To grow muscle you can’t just lift heavy stuff a lot. To lose weight healthily you can’t just eat less. To get a job promotion you can’t just turn up to an interview. To make a relationship work you can’t just add them as a Facebook friend. You need to work hard at a process that works to get the things that you want.

Small Victories Are Important

Focussing on the outcome will keep us bitter and when we have no way of getting there we give up. In my Coaching App it’s exactly what I do for hundreds of people. I’m the tap on the shoulder that reminds them of the process and enables people to reach their goals without even realising. That’s because they have enjoyed a journey that took them way beyond the anxieties of ‘ needing to lose a couple of stone’. They did that, but also found that they were in control of their life much more than when they had no direction. It became a foundation for their success. Focus and celebrate the small victories. It’s those that become the big ones.

Thank you for reading my article. If you need further advice on where to begin with your fitness process then do get in touch. I might be able to help.

Take Your Protein Pills And Put Your Gym Kit On

I’m not sure that had David Bowie brought out a song about taking protein and going to the gym, it would have catapulted his career to the great heights that it did. An astronaut traveling into space might have been a bit catchier. And who am I to argue with the Goblin King?!

I do, however, feel that I have the better insight into navigating us through this wretched Labyrinth of the fitness world. I’ll stick to that instead of trying to write a chart topping song.

The Research

What we currently know is that an active adult consuming 2000 calories per day will need 10% – 35% of their calories to be protein, or 50-175 grams. If you are training most days I would aim at the high end of that guide.

The Reason

Protein could be the defining difference between hitting your goals or them being forever eluding you. For weight/fat loss, protein adds satiety which keeps you full for longer. For muscle gain, it provides the amino acids to repair and rebuild.

The Good Protein Sources

Protein needs to be of good quality. I often joke as I’m eating pizza that is has protein in it. But I know that the processed cheese that lathers the top of my very tasty treat is not the quality my body needs. Instead I need to choose…

* lean meat- beef, lamb, veil and pork

* poultry- chicken, turkey

* seafood- fish, crab, prawns, mussels

* Eggs

* dairy- milk, Greek yoghurt, cottage cheese

* nuts and seeds- almonds, walnuts, cashew, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds

* Legumes and beans- lentils, chickpeas, tofu

* Protein drinks and bars

Every mealtime is an opportunity to get good nutrition and protein into your body. A poor nutritional meal is an opportunity missed. Most of the above can be sourced relatively cheap and can be added as a snack or incorporated into most nutritious meals.

I have often said that in my previous articles that I’m not reinventing the wheel when it comes to Personal Training. The majority of us don’t need meal planners written out for them. It is just common sense armed with the research available to me, but it means that we must get the basics right, and if we do, the journey won’t feel like you’re lost in a labyrinth. Instead you’ll be dancing in the street.