Tag Archives: meditation

Centro De Bem Estar And How I Got Here

Louise asked me to go to a meditation guide with her. I politely said no.

This was 9 years ago when we lived in Pudsey, Leeds and Lou had just given birth to our second child. She needed a moment each week to be able to find some head space away from a toddler, a baby and a husband spending hours at the gym trying to pick up new clients as a fledgling personal trainer. Lou was a full time mum. The hardest job in the world.

I said no because I felt that I had my therapy in the form of working out at the gym. I was obsessed with not just what it gave me aesthetically, but the endorphins it released. It was my natural drug. My focus. I explained this to Lou but meditation with a qualified guide was something that she wanted us to try together.

In an effort to support her and to show an interest in something that had positively touched her life, I eventually went to the meditation guide with Lou. It was in a wellbeing centre in Pudsey. I can’t remember the cost exactly. Maybe £30 or £40 for the hour. I was sceptical about it. I mean, how could it affect me in the same way it had Lou? My therapy was in a gym!

Yet strangely, as I reflected on my first experience of the meditation session, I found many similarities to that of the gym. The gym is where I can shut out the noise of the world. In fact, I disliked gyms that had a radio playing with hourly news broadcasts. For that moment in my life I didn’t want to hear about financial crashes, wars or politics. The only problem I wanted swimming around my head is how I engaged with the particular exercise that I was performing, be it a deadlift, bench press, squat, whatever. That is all I wanted in my mind.

Similarly, as I gained more experience in meditation, I found that very same focus in this practice. I only wanted to focus on my breathing and feeling my chest rise and fall as I did so. Clutter would leave my head, instead I visualised health, success, future goals and happiness.

I began to realise that, although the gym was my happy place where I could feel safe, adding meditation into my life was like a superpower! A gym routine and regular meditation was a superpower. My breathing during exercise became better, not just during exercise, but in stressful situations. I could remain calmer under pressure. I focussed even closer on my life goals. I dwelled less on missed past opportunities and began mapping out a future for me and my family. Together, my training and meditation routines did that.

I’m so glad that Lou went to a meditation session all those years ago and I’m relieved that I eventually went with her. I have just finished filming with A New Life In The Sun for this season in my home in Portugal. I’m looking out at the forest, the swimming pool, my gym space and the massage room and I practically visualised this exact picture for years in my mind during training and meditation. My aim was to help others achieve their goals and that is what I’m now doing through the wellbeing centre (Centro de bem estar).

However you choose to gain focus on what matters to you in life, practice it consistently and believe in it. Become obsessed by it. Tell the universe that you will do it, no matter what. And then live it.

New Balls Please

Held like we’re holding the mixed doubles plaque at Wimbledon, here’s the sign for our Alojamento Local rental property that we need to display to show that we are a registered guest house!

And it feels like we’ve had a few epic matches to reach our finale, but we are officially on booking sites such as Expedia, Booking.com, AirBnB, Hotel.com and Holidu.

It’ll take time for the bookings to start coming as we are towards the end of this summer and most people have probably planned their stays already, but we’re still hopeful for September and the winter months. Also, it’ll be nice to receive bookings way in advance for next summer and prepare the rest of the business!

Indeed, we haven’t won any trophies yet. We’re just a couple of wildcards new to the circuit. But we usually do well when we support each other, making us a formidable doubles team, even if the odd racket gets broken through frustration along the way.

Going Live

This week we signed up to a site that will promote our holiday home on several platforms. Although they said that it will take up to ten days to be on all of their participating platforms, we have been getting informed when a platform is showing our property online already. So far we are going live on Travel Nest and Holidu. Here’s a link to Holidu…

https://www.holidu.co.uk/d/57716090

We are still working and developing the interior and exterior, so the photos aren’t perfect, but we just needed to get the property up and running. We will be updating our pics as we keep putting stuff in place (I never knew how much brain power it would take to decide on where to put a coffee machine).

And when I say several platforms, we are literally going to be shown everywhere. So much so that I expect the Mashco Piro tribe in Peru to get an alert once our pics are updated.

We still have a massage therapy and shop to reconstruct, plus a possibility of a second holiday home on the property but, for now, for the sake of our sanity, our first job is complete.

We’re going live.

Rat Park

Despite an easier VISA process to live in Portugal from the UK there were many factors why Portugal began to be a very attractive country to live in.

There were hours and hours of research done by my wife and I to discover the cost of living, how good the education system was, we wanted to know more about the crime rates, the policing, the government structure and the tax system. We especially wanted to know what the quality of life could be expected for our young children. What is Portugal like to grow up in and to become young adults?

And yes, Rishi, we wanted to know if National Service existed in Portugal. It doesn’t. That was important to us. You see, my idea of a country expecting their young citizens to serve mandatory time in the armed forces strikes me as a country with a social problem often brought about by a lack of funding to those who need it the most and, crucially, who the wider society depends on. The youth. They are, after all, the ones who will be taking that particular country forward. Therefore we need to create well rounded young people with opportunities to develop.

Yes, the armed forces can get a great opportunity to learn many skills, but only if that person wishes to enrol in the first place.

So, after our conclusion that Portugal, albeit not perfect (which country is?!) gave us good vibes, we decided to move there.

One thing that caught my attention during my research was Portugal’s drug laws. Since 2001, drugs have been decriminalised. This includes cocaine and heroin. It was the first to do so in the EU. So although it is an offence to carry drugs it is not punishable by imprisonment, it does not result in a criminal record or lead to associated stigmas which may affect the ability to find work.

Instead, drug abusers are treated as patients instead of criminals. Those who remain clean from drug use are given incentives to reconnect with society. The government set up job creation schemes and loans for small businesses, directly intended for an individual to focus on getting their lives back on track and away from drug use.

Portugal had one of the highest number of drug related HIV cases in Europe prior to 2000.  It has seen a reduction in new HIV cases by 17%.

Portugal’s drug related death toll is 3 people per million compared to the EU average of almost 18 per million people.

The street value of these illicit drugs massively decreased. Courts and prisons became less crowded. The number of adolescents using drugs declined. All because the government at the time decided to invest in tackling the problem.

A series of experiments were conducted in the early 20th century where they would put a rat in a cage with two water bottles. One was water and the other was water laced with heroin. Almost every rat would keep going back to the water laced with heroin where it would eventually overdose and die.

Then came along a professor in psychology, Bruce Alexander who noticed that, if the rat had nothing to do other than choose from these two bottles then maybe it is an unfair experiment. So he set up a Rat Park. As well as the two bottles, he introduced several rats into a cage so that they could play together, have sex and interact. He placed tunnels into the cages, food and climbing frames.

Professor Alexander

Professor Alexander noticed that the rats hardly ever went to the drugged water. It didn’t interest them. It went from 100% overdose when they were isolated and 0% when they had happy and connected lives.

What if addiction isn’t about our chemical hooks but instead about our cage?

If we can surround ourselves with a supportive network of people, be excited by a safe and happy future, eat well, exercise, laugh, love and play, then surely our cage is worth staying around for. And the need for turning to the drugged water is less attractive.

And I can say with some experience that it is only when I found a purpose to my life did I stop routinely taking cocaine, ecstasy and steroids.

Much like the rats in the Rat Park I found friendship, pathways, exercise and reasons to live. I also found Blair’s New Deal which got me off of my arse to learn a trade. I gained NVQ level 2 qualifications in bricklaying and construction for £50 a week. Not bad at the time.

Maybe if we change our cage, we can all find happiness. And with upcoming elections in the UK looming, its citizens have an opportunity to vote for who will help them find their cage.

A Quick Update On The AL House

Just weeks away until the AL house is ready and the difference is massive since the last update! Along with the house being a place of relaxation and tranquility for our guests stay, we are trying to prepare the surroundings for a sensory lift.

Here’s the first floor entrance back in January…

And now…

The ground floor entrance when we first moved into the property…

Now we await the front doors and Juliet balcony…

Upstairs where the stairs will be…

And from the end of today, still waiting for the stairs but the surrounding areas are finished! We have tried to keep as much of the original character of the building as possible so the walls remain exposed.

The next update should be the very finished article which (hopefully) will be in a couple of weeks. Stay tuned!

Clear The Cache

After some problems in getting our Fire stick to work on the TV, I found that I could clear the cache of each application and it worked much faster.

Cache. What exactly is it?!

Well, in computing terms, it is a temporary data storage location that automatically stores data to reduce retrieval time.

And there I found a connection. Not only could it be used in computing terms, but in my own head.

You see, the data that is stored is not necessarily all useful information. Just like on my Fire stick, it can cause broken links and a lack of proper formatting, causing my browsing and viewing experience to be slow and glitchy.

Over the past few weeks my head has been gathering a lot of data, similar to the fire stick, and it needed a clear out.

This brain cache will be back, I’m sure, but without regular clear outs it will become more difficult to function and keep a focussed mind. I will become glitchy.

Do you feel that you need to clear the cache sometimes? What do you do as your preferred method?

Clearing the brain cache is not a one size fits all answer. My suggestions are to go on a long walk, go to the gym, talk to a friend or partner, sleep or in my case this morning I meditated.

There was no filming today. I had answered all of the builders questions. I took the kids to school. It was raining heavily therefore working on the land was out of the question. So I took two hours away from everything and I meditated.

Sure, I could have found something to do. But that would have been my useless cache data telling me to descale the toilet or iron my undies. No, I thought, I need some time to clear my head.

Today has gone a little smoother. Or, at least, dealt with much better now that I am thinking clearer, so it seems to have worked.

Let me know how you like to clear your brain cache. There are no wrong answers. Just the right ones that work for you.

Until next time, my friends.

The Keys To Pinheiros Tranquilos

A bit of a whirlwind day today. This morning, unexpectedly, we were told that we could have the keys to our new property in Portugal!

The deal is to be finalised by the end of January but the current owners have kindly allowed us to have the keys to be able to begin making it our own.

And there’s no doubt, this will be a long process. We’ve been there today and it’s been tiring, so I’m a bit too knackered now to describe the work we need to do on the property but I did take a few pictures so I can put some bullet points attached to let you get an idea of what will be our home and our new wellbeing centre at Pinheiros Tranquilos.

As you approach the property you are met by sprawling fields. This particular piece of land will be used by us, mainly for the boys to be able to play sports.
A part of the property, beyond the field is forests of pine trees which will be ideal for several meditation sites and future glamping projects.
Back towards the buildings there are two houses with habitation licences. This enables us to live in one, which is already habitable, and the smaller building which will need renovation to become a rental accommodation.
The back of the rental accommodation shows some of the work needed to be carried out. The road nearby is very quiet and is mainly used by visitors to Trizio River beach and agricultural vehicles.
The patio area and the largest outbuilding will become the massage treatment room and also there’s potential for a bar and shop as a future project. Seating will be provided and also group exercise sessions can be done from here.
The smaller outbuilding is where my personal training equipment will be kept. It is possible to train inside as it will be equipped with weights, bench, pulleys and cables but I also imagine that much of the training will be done outdoors.
There are many fruit trees on the property to be picked at your leisure.

We went at around 6pm and it is late December so it doesn’t look as bright and sunny as we have seen it previously! Plus it’s all a bit untidy and overgrown after being left for a couple of months. But the hard work starts now regarding our new home and business. I’ll keep you updated on how we get on, plus our experiences on filming A New Life In The Sun!

The Day Will Wait

As I was getting the kids ready for school this morning I, as always, ran around like a headless chicken from room to room collecting PE kits, lunch boxes etc but there’s an added load of stress at the moment.

Every room is full of half packed boxes awaiting our house move. Going from one room to another is like an episode of Ninja Warrior as I jump, skip and trip my way to the front door with my two kids under each arm ready to throw into the car.

And I’m sure, as I come back home after school drop off, the boxes at home have been breeding. They’ve multiplied. The task looks even more intimidating by the hour. Indeed, time is of the essence. But…

But I stopped looking.

I stopped looking and I lay on the sofa and closed my eyes. I began to recognise my breathing. Witnessing every intake of breath and appreciating the way my chest and stomach expands as I breath in deeply.

And slowly exhale.

The belly softens. My shoulders drop. My body relaxes.

For the sake of ten minutes, listening to my body, allowing my mind to stop, reflect and contemplate, I enabled myself to reconnect to the day.

The day will wait. I will get stuff done when I’m ready. I’ll finish this text, post it onto my site, put my phone down and get the day done as it was meant to be done.

Sycamore Tree

Sometimes, I feel like a tree.

I can stand tall and firm during stormy weathers, despite my leaves and branches looking a little dishevelled from the whole experience.

I am frequently visited and loved by many, I know. But I can feel lonely and vulnerable too.

People come and talk to me and ask me stuff. Yes me! A tree! I try to give good advice. I have, after all, some years of experience at living life.

I am beautiful.

They can kick me. They can cut me down. They can destroy me.

But I am not the problem. They are.

And for all their destruction, my energy will continue to give the people who I love and who love me the strength that they need to carry on.

Sometimes, I feel like a tree. But I’m not. I am so grateful to share this planet with a tree because I’m not worthy.

I am beautiful. But I’m not a tree.