lifestyle – Never Give Up PT

A Year Of Answers

So, what was 2024 for you? Was it a year of questions or a year of answers?

For me, 2024 was most certainly a year of questions. Big questions. How could I handle living in a new country? How could I deal with a house buy, a building project, a new business? Could I settle my kids in a new foreign school? Can my wife and I survive the stresses? Can I manage to put my ‘happy face’ on for the cameras.

But I’m hoping, goodness, I’m hoping (!) that 2025 gives me answers.

I’ve been thinking about the quote by Zora Neale Hurston over the past few days, in which she said,”There are years that ask questions and years that answer.”

My thoughts on recent years took me as far as 2020. This was a year, for so many of us I would imagine, that asked tough questions. But I have noticed a trend because 2021 was one that cleared my head and started to deliver answers once again, if only in part anyway. The gyms reopened and my business could recommence. My wife had also started her own massage therapy business which quickly became very popular in the centre of Scarborough.

2022 flipped again to become a year of questions. Whilst my wife remained steady in her business, mine was stagnating. A few clients remained from pre-covid but the gym I was at never got their numbers back unfortunately. It had also decided to give the members recorded fitness classes which obviously didn’t require a live instructor. This us something I’m seeing more and more in larger gyms in the UK and just can’t help but think that members are just a number to them. There’s no personal touch. I know many of my class participants enjoyed the social aspect of classes. Having a chat with the instructor before or after and generally feeling a belonging. That is taken away with pre-recorded classes on a screen.

Prior to covid, our thoughts were very much fixed on moving out of the uk. Yes, there was a longing to be living back in the European Union but it had always been a dream for us as individuals before we met each other and then as a family. Covid had set us back financially so plans were put on hold, but 2023 we came up with the answers, swiftly putting our house up for sale and employing solicitors to assist in the visa applications and starting a business in the EU.

Oh yes, 2023 we had answers. We were so focused on this that we felt untouchable. We were asked many times,”What if your house doesn’t sell.” Or “What if your visa is rejected?”

Our answer was, “It won’t.” That’s how committed and confident we were in the process and our strength and abilities to carry this off. The reality was that our plans could’ve fallen off the edge of a cliff at any point that year, but we had answers that we told ourselves over and over that soothed our minds. “We can do it. We WILL do it.” Special mentions are required around now to thank those who gave me and my family somewhere to live in England while we were in limbo. And a great friend gave me some work working with kids in summer sports camp. I’ll be forever grateful.

But once we got to Portugal, 2024 became a year of questions once again. Mostly set by us. Just like our positive mindset helped us get through the previous year, the gremlins crept into our mindset a little during our Portuguese house purchase and business set up. We had the building work to the local accommodation house. A forest to clear. Children to settle into a new school and new lifestyle. Budget stress. And with a camera crew filming it all and a production team asking even more questions, last year was tough with some incredibly difficult questions to face.

But on the first night of the year, during a bout of man flu that had me awake most of it, I had time to think. Thinking is a luxury over Christmas with family visiting and two excited kids. It occurred to me that my year of questions were last year. This year, it is my year of answers. I don’t think that Zora Neale Hurston meant that it would be exclusively one year of questions and then one year of answers, but there has certainly been this pattern for me. At least I hope so.

There will be what looks like more filming to come. The production team are already in talks with us about their spin off ‘Revisited’ programme, where they film the progress we have made. But I feel a lot more head strong to deal with that now. I know the expectations of me. And likewise in other aspects of my life. I know what we have to do to our business to succeed. I am producing answers again. Answers that for many months I struggled to find, either due to the ‘out of my depth’ feeling or simply not knowing the expectations of, well, anything!

This time last year when asked what would be achieved by the end of the year I had to say ‘I haven’t a clue!’ And yet, if I were asked it right now I’d be able to give a more detailed account of how life might look like fir me and my family.

I’d have answers. Because it’s the year for it.

Here’s to 2025. And remember, even if you are faced with lots of questions this year, you will find the answers.

Our House

We have been so busy dealing with all other aspects of the property we bought, we haven’t given our own house much TLC. On the day we got the keys we ensured that we made the inside of our house liveable for us and the kids which we did straight away. It is a comfortable space with extra outdoor areas such as an outdoor kitchen and sitting room that can be utilised for most of the year due to the weather. We have also created a TV room/games room and utility room in the downstairs areas. But the façade needed work.

The building is an old farm building. It will always be rustic. But it was all looking a bit too tatty for our liking. This week we set to work on improving its look. Here’s a few before and afters…

So obviously it didn’t look as bad as this before the jet wash, but we needed to get the flakey paint off.

After applying a primer we were happy with the progress.

A first top coat has been applied, plus the doors have been painted.

We still need to apply a few decorative bottles with lights and stuff but, as you can see, our house looks much better after a week of work on it.

Let us know what you think in the comments!

New Balls Please

Held like we’re holding the mixed doubles plaque at Wimbledon, here’s the sign for our Alojamento Local rental property that we need to display to show that we are a registered guest house!

And it feels like we’ve had a few epic matches to reach our finale, but we are officially on booking sites such as Expedia, Booking.com, AirBnB, Hotel.com and Holidu.

It’ll take time for the bookings to start coming as we are towards the end of this summer and most people have probably planned their stays already, but we’re still hopeful for September and the winter months. Also, it’ll be nice to receive bookings way in advance for next summer and prepare the rest of the business!

Indeed, we haven’t won any trophies yet. We’re just a couple of wildcards new to the circuit. But we usually do well when we support each other, making us a formidable doubles team, even if the odd racket gets broken through frustration along the way.

Going Live

This week we signed up to a site that will promote our holiday home on several platforms. Although they said that it will take up to ten days to be on all of their participating platforms, we have been getting informed when a platform is showing our property online already. So far we are going live on Travel Nest and Holidu. Here’s a link to Holidu…

https://www.holidu.co.uk/d/57716090

We are still working and developing the interior and exterior, so the photos aren’t perfect, but we just needed to get the property up and running. We will be updating our pics as we keep putting stuff in place (I never knew how much brain power it would take to decide on where to put a coffee machine).

And when I say several platforms, we are literally going to be shown everywhere. So much so that I expect the Mashco Piro tribe in Peru to get an alert once our pics are updated.

We still have a massage therapy and shop to reconstruct, plus a possibility of a second holiday home on the property but, for now, for the sake of our sanity, our first job is complete.

We’re going live.

The Longest Five Minutes

Lou and I discussed which parasol to put up in the AL courtyard. It was an important day for us today. The builder was finishing off the bits and bobs that he needed to do, we were taking photos so that we could upload them onto a booking site and we were being filmed by the A New Life In The Sun camera man.

The parasol discussion was ideal for ANLITS. They like to film us deciding on the colour of bed sheets, where to put the solar lights, problem solving with the builders and which parasol would be suitable for the courtyard table.

But then an alert on Lou’s phone gave the camera man ANLITS gold. It was like a dream to a lifestyle reality TV camera man. It was a message from the local council (CAMARA) to inform us about our application to rent out our renovated house. Capturing this in real time was going to make perfect TV (for those interested in the programme). The moment of pure joy or a crushing setback was about to be filmed in real life!

But then came the longest five minutes. First of all, it required a wardrobe change. We had been in our building clothes all morning. A quick freshen up was needed. Oh, and then the email had to be translated into English. The five minute wait seemed to last a lifetime as we processed the Portuguese words into the Deeple app to change it to English. I noticed Lou’s hand shaking. Our voices quivered as we addressed the camera and read out the email. All observed by the willing camera man.

After the formalities it finally read ‘we are pleased to inform you that there are no objections to your licence’. The relief was felt in Lou’s voice as she further read out our official registration number which is necessary to show the relevant booking sites that we are to use.

For some unknown reason I still had hold of the parasol looking like some deranged Mary Poppins as I gleefully high fived Lou and hurrahed towards the camera. My emotions, despite this, were kept conservative but inside it felt like scoring the winner in the final.

My brain wanted to fist pump the air and shout ‘get in!!’ but I knew I was being filmed so I just held the parasol tightly and tried to stay calm.

We have been asked many times about a plan B, but the reality is that we came to Portugal without one. Our business plan, which actually started out as glamping rather than a house, was our only plan. That, of course, and the added wellbeing centre that we have yet to complete. All of our hopes were pinned on this moment in receiving the go-ahead from the local council.

But that is how we have approached this whole move. We had taken our children out of school and shut down our existing businesses before our visa approval. Indeed, we were on the coach to Sertá when Lou was still negotiating a time in which our house sale in England would be finalised. The people on the coach will have learned some new colourful English words on that journey.

Nothing was going to stop us.

I’ve heard that you get more careful in decision making as you get older. Ours, in an attempt for a better quality of life for our children and a business idea itch that just needed to be scratched, has had an opposite effect. We simply couldn’t sit on our hands anymore. We had dreams. None of which, we felt, could be accomplished in the UK. And there is no guarantee of success in Portugal either. That is why the same focus needs to be applied. We need to continue chasing our dreams. Long into our lives.

As CS Lewis quite rightly put it,”You are never too old to set a new goal or to dream a new dream.”

Getting Ready For A Photo Day And A Lifestyle Shoot

We’re having to get extra stuff done today. We have declared next Wednesday ‘photo day’, where we will take photographs of our Alojamento Local rental property and put it onto booking sites.

But there’s still a bit to do such as varnish and put up the furniture, sort out the decorative side of it and touch up any scuffs and scratches. There’s a stack of paperwork that needs doing too.

But tomorrow we aren’t able to do any of this due to A New Life In The Sun arriving for the ‘lifestyle’ shoot. This is the day Lou and I get to hold hands and skip along the beach while the kids splash in the river surrounded by a picturesque mountainous backdrop while being filmed for TV.

So far they’ve just filmed us clearing the forest, doing building work and generally getting stressed about timelines and budgets. So tomorrow will be nice to see a different side to us and the meaning of our move to Portugal. We want to work hard and be successful, but our family and quality of life is important to us and getting a reminder of that with occasions by a river beach or at a lively festa is integral to that.

But we’re obsessed with making this whole move work. Which means working harder than we’ve ever had to work, mostly done in heat I’ve never encountered before. If we want to enjoy more days at the river beach, then making the business a success is vital. The master plan unravels without it. And Ralph Waldo Emerson was spot on when he said,”Always do what you are afraid to do.”

Being afraid keeps me hungry. Less complacent.

So anyway, I’ll leave you with a few pics from today. It’s not the finished photos for the booking sites, of course, but it is starting to take shape!

Let me know what you think so far!

Manufactured In The Gym

Since around this time last year I have had no gym membership. My time, despite efforts in keeping up ‘sort sort’ of a routine outside of a gym, have been entirely preoccupied in my family’s move, house and business set up in Portugal.

I knew it had to be like that. I knew I’d have to take the hit on something that I loved. And training in the gym is what I love.

A few things that I’ve kept in my head have been comforting though…

1. It’s not forever. I’m creating my own gym on the property.

2. I’ve trained 3-5 days a week for the past 27 years (even on my honeymoon). Taking a year out isn’t going to harm all of my good work.

3. I’m keeping calories to around 2,500 to 3000. I’m not counting. By now I just know what I’m eating, but using a calorie counter can be useful too.

4. I’m not sedentary. I’m probably more active than ever seeing as I’m working in the forest and doing building works. So my energy consumption, along with my energy intake, keeps my weight balanced.

But, despite knowing this, I am really missing training. That is because I am not getting the buzz (adrenaline) from the repetition of a lift or push that has become a part of me.

At 18 I had to quit most sports that I enjoyed. Contact sports such as football, boxing and martial arts left my body in bits. And most of the pain came from my back or the sciatic nerve. The sharp pain that drives from the lower back into the buttock and down the leg made me struggle to even get dressed each morning. The anger that I had towards this pain and how it had practically ended my passion for playing sports affected me not just physically but mentally too.

Sports can give us ambition and focus on something positive. Especially for a young person trying to discover themselves. Joining a team, goal setting, planning and staying active weren’t on my radar anymore. Instead, smoking, drinking, clubbing and generally finding substances to enable me to continue clubbing into the wee hours became my focus.

‘When Saturday Comes’ is an expression to highlight the thrill of a football game. For me, my Saturday just became another chance to get into town and party. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have some great memories too! As George Best said,’ I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I squandered .’ I didn’t have his fame or riches, but I gave it a bloody good go for a period of time!

That is until I found the gym. After a few months of training I noticed that my muscles were becoming firmer and I was filling out a T in all the right places. But something more significant was taking place. My back pain was slowly easing, I was quicker, more agile, stronger. And mentally I had a more positive outlook and I didn’t want a weekend of mistreating myself to hinder my hard work in the gym. I had found a lifeline. Furthermore, I had given my career a boost. My confidence grew and helped me to find a vocation which I enjoyed. Things started clicking into place. The gym, I believe, is what started it. My attitude to life was manufactured in the gym.

So then, you can see why it is so important to me. So much so I retrained as a PT some years later to spread the word. ‘How many people could I help?’ I thought. My aim was to just get people active and learn new, interesting exercises. I knew that for the most people that I trained in a commercial gym that strict programs weren’t entirely necessary. They just had to turn up and move to begin with. Push, pull, jump, skip, squat and run. Anything that got them excited about being there. And, no doubt, even for those who hated the gym, there was one aspect that interested them, be it a speed trial, a PB lift, calisthenics or a tyre flip. Something would trigger anyone’s adrenaline. It made me a decent PT because I was like anybody else. I wasn’t a bodybuilder or athlete. I just knew how the average gym goer operated. For me personally, anything heavy that I could push or pull got me out of bed in the morning. ‘How many reps at X weight can I do today?’ was my motivation.

And it will be again, albeit in a very different setting. But it can’t come soon enough. For how beautiful my surroundings are and how well our business preparations are going, I still don’t have a gym!

Drinking mojito in the outdoor kitchen at 40°

Life After Fortnite

Having already experienced two popped tyres and a mechanical breakdown with our cars in central Portugal, it occurred to me how heavily I relied on the AA in the UK. Sure, there’s breakdown services where I live but in the mountainous countryside of the interior of Portugal it is something that you could be waiting a while for. It isn’t a ‘fourth emergency service’ here.

Seemingly, cars are older than in the uk and in part this is because they are looked after rather well due to just about everyone knowing car maintenance. Everyone is a mechanic, everyone is a farmer, everyone is a builder and everyone can drive a tractor.

So, I need to change. I need to know these things too. And not only for me, but I need to teach my kids.

There’s a reason why the people in our community can do these things and it’s because they have to. They need to know how to fix their cars because of the time and money involved in them not knowing. The nearest garage is miles away and there’s a price to pay if you need a car towed and fixed by someone else. Same with building work and farming. From being youngsters the people in my community have acquired this knowledge through having to do it for themselves.

I learnt to drive at a fairly older age. I was around 30. That’s because a bus would drive along my road every ten minutes to practically anywhere in Leeds that I wanted. Why did I need the cost of a car? A weekly bus pass was about £10 back then! I was also conscious of the amount of cars already on the road. But then I kept moving to more remote areas of the UK. I had to drive.

I began a Building and Construction NVQ when I was 18 in the government’s attempt to get young people gaining practical skills, experience and qualifications in work places. I passed the course but I hated it. Not so much the work, I liked working outdoors, but I didn’t like who I had to work with. I didn’t fit in with the wolf whistling men who would talk mostly about the pictures in The Daily Sport.

And, on a side note, it’s interesting how many men get offended by a rainbow in Pride month and say ‘why do they have to shout about their sexuality?!’ when men have literally been able to intimidate women on the street for decades in their attempts to show how much of a manly heterosexual they are.

Anyway, back to the point!

Since leaving the building trade I haven’t laid a brick. To say that I’m a little rusty would be an understatement! However, just like the locals, I’m now in a situation where I have to wind back the years (25 years to be exact) and do things for myself.

We employed builders to renovate our AL rental accommodation, but we’ve blown the budget on a number of unforeseen expenditures with drainage and a bore hole being the biggest expense. So now it’s down to us!

Lou has a good understanding of building work. From the preparation, materials needed and the technique, she has obviously watched and listened to her dad, who is an expert. So, together we are continuing our project. Learning new things and doing it as a team.

But we won’t miss the opportunity to show our kids how to do it. At 18 I want them to be driving and starting building projects around the property even younger. It’s one of the reasons for the move. So that the kids could learn more about life and the skills required to survive. They’re already learning the Portuguese language at school, so having a second language is a tick in the box. Forest cleaning is another one, something that they will get very used to in order to stay safe from wild fires.

We are still in the early stages, but I think Lou and I are managing to show them that there’s life after Fortnite after all.

Preparing to repair the old wall of the property

Repairing the area that will, for the time being, be my outdoor PT area

Me with the smallest paint roller in the world. (The bigger roller didn’t cover some of the dimples!)

Rat Park

Despite an easier VISA process to live in Portugal from the UK there were many factors why Portugal began to be a very attractive country to live in.

There were hours and hours of research done by my wife and I to discover the cost of living, how good the education system was, we wanted to know more about the crime rates, the policing, the government structure and the tax system. We especially wanted to know what the quality of life could be expected for our young children. What is Portugal like to grow up in and to become young adults?

And yes, Rishi, we wanted to know if National Service existed in Portugal. It doesn’t. That was important to us. You see, my idea of a country expecting their young citizens to serve mandatory time in the armed forces strikes me as a country with a social problem often brought about by a lack of funding to those who need it the most and, crucially, who the wider society depends on. The youth. They are, after all, the ones who will be taking that particular country forward. Therefore we need to create well rounded young people with opportunities to develop.

Yes, the armed forces can get a great opportunity to learn many skills, but only if that person wishes to enrol in the first place.

So, after our conclusion that Portugal, albeit not perfect (which country is?!) gave us good vibes, we decided to move there.

One thing that caught my attention during my research was Portugal’s drug laws. Since 2001, drugs have been decriminalised. This includes cocaine and heroin. It was the first to do so in the EU. So although it is an offence to carry drugs it is not punishable by imprisonment, it does not result in a criminal record or lead to associated stigmas which may affect the ability to find work.

Instead, drug abusers are treated as patients instead of criminals. Those who remain clean from drug use are given incentives to reconnect with society. The government set up job creation schemes and loans for small businesses, directly intended for an individual to focus on getting their lives back on track and away from drug use.

Portugal had one of the highest number of drug related HIV cases in Europe prior to 2000. It has seen a reduction in new HIV cases by 17%.

Portugal’s drug related death toll is 3 people per million compared to the EU average of almost 18 per million people.

The street value of these illicit drugs massively decreased. Courts and prisons became less crowded. The number of adolescents using drugs declined. All because the government at the time decided to invest in tackling the problem.

A series of experiments were conducted in the early 20th century where they would put a rat in a cage with two water bottles. One was water and the other was water laced with heroin. Almost every rat would keep going back to the water laced with heroin where it would eventually overdose and die.

Then came along a professor in psychology, Bruce Alexander who noticed that, if the rat had nothing to do other than choose from these two bottles then maybe it is an unfair experiment. So he set up a Rat Park. As well as the two bottles, he introduced several rats into a cage so that they could play together, have sex and interact. He placed tunnels into the cages, food and climbing frames.

Professor Alexander noticed that the rats hardly ever went to the drugged water. It didn’t interest them. It went from 100% overdose when they were isolated and 0% when they had happy and connected lives.

What if addiction isn’t about our chemical hooks but instead about our cage?

If we can surround ourselves with a supportive network of people, be excited by a safe and happy future, eat well, exercise, laugh, love and play, then surely our cage is worth staying around for. And the need for turning to the drugged water is less attractive.

And I can say with some experience that it is only when I found a purpose to my life did I stop routinely taking cocaine, ecstasy and steroids.

Much like the rats in the Rat Park I found friendship, pathways, exercise and reasons to live. I also found Blair’s New Deal which got me off of my arse to learn a trade. I gained NVQ level 2 qualifications in bricklaying and construction for £50 a week. Not bad at the time.

Maybe if we change our cage, we can all find happiness. And with upcoming elections in the UK looming, its citizens have an opportunity to vote for who will help them find their cage.

Plonker

The filming for A New Life In The Sun has ended for this week. It’s a relief. The intensity of managing the final stages of phase one of the project (the AL house) and the forest cleaning in 35° heat while being filmed becomes a little too much.

And there’s only so many ways I can say ‘Wow! This looks great!’ when the camera person asks me what I think of the taps as I turn them on and off or what I think of the lid for the septic tank.

Sometimes, I go for the ‘just walked into the room to see the work of the DIY SOS team’ look. This means waving at my eyes to dry the tears as I tell the camera how thrilled I am with the splashback tiles.

The occasional Nicolas Cage from Face/Off look comes out when I have to describe how pleased I am with the skylight while paying the 500euros to the man who delivered it.

And then there are days where I forget to ‘be myself’ in front of the camera as I go around the property like Del Boy, trying to raise a laugh or be the clown. “What do you think of the grouting, Shay?” The camera person asks. “Luvvly Jubbly!” I reply. “Mange Tout, mange tout!”

As I reflect on my day, sometimes I just think to myself ”What a bleedin’ plonker I am”.