gym – Page 11 – Never Give Up PT

Waiting and Waiting on the Sidelines.

I’ve just managed to persuade my 8 year old to join in his friend’s birthday party after 30 minutes. It’s a football party and he loves football. He doesn’t just live and breath football (as well as Fortnite) but he is actually very good at it. At a trial for Leeds United he just froze. The daunting prospect of exhibiting his skills in front of coaches and the other kids he didn’t know got the better of him. There’ll be other opportunities. Like I say, he’s pretty good.

But since lockdown this confident little boy has gone into his shell. A throat clearing tic started during the third lockdown and got more regular and louder as school approached. School was very good and understanding and, although the nervousness of going to school has stopped, events out of his comfort zone are still there. I’ve just witnessed it. A lot of confidence has come back, but the constant breaks from normality such as the Christmas holidays takes him time to settle again.

I totally get it. People see me as this confident person entering the gym. I wear a PT top with my logo or the gym colours. I know what I’m doing. I love being there and I enjoy meeting my trainees for their next challenge. Most of the time I feel in control. But I sometimes feel like my little boy. I know exactly what he’s thinking as he is waiting on the sidelines. ‘What if they don’t like me?’ ‘What if I do something wrong and I get laughed at?’ ‘What if I’m rubbish today and don’t help my team?’

At 43 with plenty of reflective moments to look back on I know that none of this will happen in the gym or anywhere else that my anxiety tries to hold me back on. I’ve developed a thick skin too so even if it does, fuck it. But my lad is still fighting these anxieties and might do into adulthood, it’s not uncommon.

At his age I got around this by being the Joker. That hasn’t changed actually. Even now an awkward moment can always be fixed with a joke. That’s what I do to this day. I was called disruptive back when I was a kid because trying to make somebody laugh was my weapon. I remember meeting my wife’s dad for the first time I told more jokes that night than a Jimmy Carr gig. Probably just as inappropriate too. He laughed and still does now. So I keep telling them! He likes me!

Getting out of bed and leaving the house might mean putting on your ‘mask’ sometimes. We all do it to an extent. Some masks slip. That’s fine too. I’m envious of those who can firmly fix their mask to their face for the whole day. But as long as you take a deep breath and go again then you’re doing well. I’m proud of my boy for doing what he did today. He didn’t feel comfortable right at that moment to join in, so why should he? He waited until it was right for him.

We’re all learning and developing at any age. And my son has just helped me learn a little bit more.

The January Rush (and why it ends in February)

I’m going through the gym turnstile by the entrance. Through the crowd of sweaty people at the other end of the gym I spot the bench press. It’s free. I know it won’t be for long. There’s only one and it’s very busy. It’ll get snapped up very soon.

I give a smile and a nod to anyone I know and try to casually weave my way through to the bench. Half way there. Still free.

I’m feet away from it, my eyes light up, jacket comes off as I approach the bench like john Travolta swaggering closer to his Olivia Newton John and then…bosh! Some dude claims it. I was inches away but I couldn’t use VAR on this one. He got there a second quicker than me. No arguement from me. I try to hide my disappointment and slide over to the Smith machine without anyone noticing my missed opportunity.

Of course, it’s January. The season of new year’s resolutions, good intentions and packed gyms. I train in a decent kitted out gym for it’s size, but the equipment soon gets taken up and the one and only bench press never stays free for long. I improvise instead. I’ve got too many gym years behind me to let that distract me from my training. And I know, come February, the numbers will drop off and the gym won’t be so busy.

But why is that? Why, without fail, do I know that these members with their new year’s resolutions will not be back around mid February? I have an idea. Maybe more of an educated guess. And if you look at the evidence it actually makes sense.

Back in the 1930’s an endocrinologist called Hans Selye theorised that muscle needed continual stress to adapt. And this stress needed to be of varying intensity and volume. As these theories were tested and repeated with great success, athletes and trainers discovered the art of periodization. It was understood that if we keep doing the same thing without knowing how to adapt or when to do it, we hit a plateau. Results start out great. Muscles grow quickly for a beginner. We develop speed and our fitness improves quickly. Neural adaptations peak at about 4 to 6 weeks of training. The body shuts down. As far as it is concerned it has done it’s job and we aren’t telling it otherwise.

So a new gym goer with no periodized structure starting on the 2nd of January will be thrilled at their progress in the first few weeks, but by mid Feb they are becoming confused and demoralised by their lack of gains. Their body wants to make further changes. It’s very willing. But they don’t train for such changes. They plateau. A plateau for a seasoned gym goer is the challenge that gets them out of bed. A plateau for a new person in the gym can be the sign of their gym membership getting cancelled and me being able to bench press when I want.

I talk lots about mental health and the benefits of exercise, therefore as far as I’m concerned no workout is a bad one. But without the correct knowledge and information, a trainee will miss out on these mental health benefits because they give up. The information is often spurious in gyms and even those trying to find out how to train correctly are misled by poundshop PT.

I’m not proud of this, but I know that I will be proved right about the gym numbers as we get to the end of February. I’d rather the numbers were high all year round, even if I miss out on my bench press. As a PT I need busy gyms. And this year more than ever, our gyms should be busy all year round.

The Ability To Thrive

There is this test done on fleas in regards to their jumping ability. The common known fact is that they can jump thousands of times higher than their own height. That means that they can jump out of a jam jar with ease. But put the lid on the jar and eventually they will stop trying. Over time, they learn to live within their environment. Even with the lid off, they won’t or can’t jump out. They’ve been conditioned.

Imagining my next big jump (without the lid on)

Humans do that too. We put our own jam jar lid on our ability to thrive outside of our environment we become accustomed to. Fleas don’t like it nor dislike it. They, like us, just live with it. We don’t know any different.

But there are those who break the mould. I personally know people who do. I’ve trained them or I’ve lived with them or I’ve being friends with them. They’ve all had one thing in common and that is their refusal to accept somebody (or themselves) to tell them that they can’t do it.

As a kid my limits seemed to be mapped out for me. Coming from a council estate watching my parents struggle through one redundancy to the next and those who I looked up to for support in my education and extra curricular activities telling me that I wouldn’t amount to much, I was the perfect example of a flea in a jam jar with the lid on.

As an adult I haven’t turned into a Premier League footballer, a multi millionaire, a Love Island contestant, a record breaker or a famous singer. That isn’t what being able to thrive is all about and if that’s what we see as being successful then we’re all screwed…with the lid screwed tightly.

No. The ability to thrive is to create an environment, or a mindset, that says ‘I will not be limited by what I have or what I am told I am.’

Seeing as I’m a Personal Trainer I guess people expect me to be talking about how we thrive in the gym. However, we rarely achieve what we want to in the gym if we aren’t thriving outside of it. So my point is about an individual as a whole. I mean where we live, how we live and treat others and the credit that we give to ourselves and our physical and mental health.

People, or society, will try to put us in the jar and turn the lid. Most people will do this without knowing that they are doing it to you. They don’t mean you any harm. My understanding is that they feel the restrictions bestowed upon them, so don’t know any different. They expect nothing of you because their own expectations are limited on themselves. Putting you in a jar and screwing on the lid soothes their own mind. You are restricted in causing a stir to their own lives.

‘I’m leaving the army. I’m quitting building college. I’m dating a girl outside of my race. I’m leaving my well paid job to retrain and run my own business. I’m leaving this city. I’m leaving the country’, are all actual quotes I’ve told people and it was met with shock, mockery, fear, whispering and funny looks. They didn’t like the changes that I was making because it made THEM feel uncomfortable. It burdened their belief in that I was this person who would drift into the jam jar. I’m not. I wouldn’t.

We all drift sometimes. Coasting seems easy. But at times we need to find the gear and get into our lane and overtake those who hold us back. You won’t even need to speed. Take your time. Some people have almost stopped. Overtaking is easy if you check your mirrors and step on the gas a little.

What Does Weight Loss Actually Mean?

I know that when I go back to the gym in January there will be lots of new members wanting PT for weight loss. That is totally normal. Many people set new year’s resolutions and over Christmas can eat and drink a bit more. They want a fresh start to the year. A good PT won’t hear ‘weight loss’ though. They’ll hear the gym member say “I want to feel fitter, stronger and better about myself.”

What does weight loss actually mean? I assume nobody wants to lose muscle, bone, an arm or leg or any vital organ. All of which would produce a loss of weight to your body. So my bet is that they want to lose fat.

I didn’t become a PT to patronise people by replying ‘weigh yourself in the morning, don’t eat or drink, move more, visit the toilet regularly and there you go. Weigh yourself 24 hours after and you will have lost weight.’ Firstly, sudden drops or gains in weight is probably water weight. And secondly, following this advise is not sustainable. But thirdly, you’d be shocked at how many PT’s give this sort of advise. Pound Shop PT, as I call it.

Weighing yourself is one of the many different ways to keep a check on your progress. Measuring waist, arms, thighs are another way. Taking before pictures is a useful method. Calculating your body fat percentage is another and then the old trusty is trying clothes on that didn’t fit you before. Even when more and more people are asking you ‘have you lost weight?’ can give you an indication on your progress. None of them are 100% accurate though.

By all means have a target weight or measure body parts and wait for your friends to pass compliments. They will work to a point. But I’m talking about the real issues of why we need to elicit a change in the first place. People can get loser of the week at weight watchers and still feel like crap. I know, because after months of yo-yo dieting they quit and come to me to fix their approach to their fitness.

The end of a fitness journey should not be to lose weight. The end, if it exists at all, should be to move, walk, run better. It should be to breath easier and smile more. It should be to look at your reflection and say ‘I am proud of myself’. The lift that you just executed. The run you just did. Getting home after a gym session and saying to yourself ‘I smashed it today’. Walking instead of driving. Kicking a football around with your kids or grandkids. Setting new goals that aren’t gym related (you’re already smashing them remember). Walking into a room and being proud of who you are. These are all what we really mean when we say ‘I want to lose weight’.

Weight loss is just what happens when you start believing in the above mantra. Your body will begin to work with, rather than against you. And most importantly it is a sustainable method that will keep you where you want to be for life.

Never Give Up!

I usually leave the gym disappointed. Yes I’m exhilarated and I’m feeling pumped, but there’s a feeling of defeat too.

The thing is that was my aim. Almost every gym session, I push my body to a point that cannot do anymore. To evolve, grow or transform I know that there has to be a point that the body will react to the need to change. But I leave disappointed regardless thinking I could do one or two more reps, take on a new, higher weight or run faster.

Success is not final, failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts. Never give up.

I’m not superhuman. I’ve got the generics that I have. I can’t change that. In fact I’m fairly lucky with the genetics I have. But I’m not picking the 50k dumbbells up and chest pressing them just yet. I know that I probably never will. I know that, but my body doesn’t. So I keep pressing. Sometimes more reps, more sets. Sometimes a higher weight. There comes a point though, that no matter how strong we get or how fast we run there will be a number that our physical makeup cannot obtain. Does that stop us from trying?

Hell no!

It should keep us training. Just like I have a weight I will never lift, so do you. So does The Rock. There is a weight out there that Arnold Schwarzenegger couldn’t lift or bench. Did he give up or keep going?

There is a time that Usain Bolt couldn’t sprint in a 100 meters and there is a distance that Mo Farrah couldn’t run. We all, even the Olympians and the champion bodybuilders, have our limits. Sure, records get broken. New techniques, new foods or supplements and equipment or clothing might nudge us closer to superhuman efforts. Even the way that the wind blows can change our results in the day. But even when we achieve a new PB, a new target is set. And so we start again. Days, weeks month and years we try to reach our new goals.

That’s what proper, structured, formulated plans allow us to do. We work through our training schedule with a plan that works. And although we see changes instantly from a gym session whether it be a pump or a feel good factor, it can take years of repeatedly telling your body it WILL run for this distance or it WILL lift for this weight. This might leave you impatient sometimes or disappointed, like when I finish my gym session. But my body is repairing thinking, “if they fuel me and look after me I’ll be back fully prepaired to go even further next time.”

My hundred gym sessions trying have been far more important than the day that I achieved my current goal. It’s those hundred sessions that moulded me into enabling it to happen. Gave me the mindset and created speed, technique, muscle to eventually hit my target.

Whatever your goals are you must appreciate the failures in your attempts to get there. It is these many failures that will make a PB one day. One thing is for certain…never give up.

The Emotional Workout Called Life

I didn’t know it at the time, but when I sent my application to train as a PT it would change my perspective on myself and on my life. As I looked through the prospectus to the course I didn’t see a syllabus dedicated to finding one’s self.

When should I tell him that one day he’ll have daddies hair?

I had to change my career. I have had highs and lows in employed and self employed jobs all of my adult life and I was always ready for the challenge. From supporting adults with autism to restaurant manager, I would fully commit to my work. But I knew that I could never stay somewhere that gave me that ‘sunday night syndrome’. That nauseating feeling that I’d get knowing that it was back to work again the next day. In my mid thirties, I knew I had to do something about it or live with my choices. Searching ‘how to become a PT’ seemed like a good place to start seeing as being in a gym was like a second home anyway.

I felt pretty good about myself when the course instructor told me that I’d passed. Ok, I knew a bit already and had always been interested in the human body so I didn’t struggle in passing. But simply because I did something out of my comfort zone was an achievement to me. The average age in the class were early 20’s. Every day during my course I would ask myself ‘am I too old to become a PT?’ but I convinced myself that I could do some good for a lot of people and, as it turned out, for me too. I had to create an uncomfortable environment for me to eventually become comfortable and that still remains the same when it comes to mindset changes or body transformations. The body won’t change if it is not put in uncomfortable situations. Why would it lose fat or grow muscle if it doesn’t have to?

The gym is one of the only places I can walk into and know instantly how everyone is feeling. I know because every one of their thoughts are what I have experienced in the gym at some time. The insecurity days. The feeling pretty damn good days. The depression days. The fantastic night last night days. The feeling crap in my gym kit days. The feeling like a super hero days. I can’t do that in Aldi. I have no idea how Dave on tills is feeling. Put him next to a bench press and I’d know his PB, his health and fitness goals and his ideal body fat percentage. But also, because of my own journey, I would know if he was having a happy day or a sad day. That none existent syllabus didn’t teach me that. That has become my own intuition from having to rediscover myself and also having to read my trainees mood very quickly. Moods change performance. I have to know their moods.

When I train myself I can put an entire days emotion into one session. I can control the weight. I know how to breath, when to brace and what happens next. That’s why I like doing it. Other aspects of my is not so structured. I know when I’m about to lift a PB deadlift, but I don’t know when my son is going to come home from school with a chipped tooth because another kid punched him. I never went on a course on how to deal with that. I don’t feel in control in that moment. We have to learn on the job in life. Being a good father, husband, son, friend. We strive to be better.

Wanting to change something about yourself for tomorrow doesn’t mean that you are not worthy right now in this moment. Wanting to lose a few pounds doesn’t mean that you aren’t beautiful today. Wanting to be a better person doesn’t mean you aren’t a great person today. That want to change is a fantastic attribute as long as it is a change for yourself and not anybody else. Investing in your own needs isn’t a selfish act. It’s quite the opposite. If you make positive changes to your own life then those around you will reap the rewards too!

I’m still finding myself. It helps that I keep putting myself in uncomfortable situations, whether that be a new business venture or an attempt at a new PB. Small or big, I want to create life goals that are challenging yet realistic. And I don’t expect to find them all in a course prospectus, a YouTube clip or at a squat rack, so I’ll just buckle myself in and enjoy this ride.

When will we learn?

One of the frequently asked questions I get asked is “what is the best way to train as you get older?”

If you have 20, 30 or 40 years of training behind you then the answer is easy, you train the same but better because you have learnt from past mistakes and are now a well educated veteran of how to train your body.

The problem is that the gym can be a fucked up place sometimes. It is amazing how many people I see doing the same things daily. And doing it wrong. Daily. Firstly, their programming is wrong or non existent. They lift, run or push with little or no direction but to grow muscle, lose weight or a combination of both. And these are often people over 40 who tell me of their injuries. I could tell them why they are getting these injuries and how to make training easier for them but, honestly, a window cleaner won’t clean my grubby windows unless I employ them to do so. And I only clean up somebody’s mess if they’re paying me too.

I used to PT in a gym bro gym. I had to wipe my feet on the way out type of place. It had a needle bin in the changing rooms. One thing I was taught at PT school was that I should engage with people by correcting their form and giving them tips. The members of this particular gym would give me advice too. It ended in ‘off’. They wouldn’t listen to a fresh faced PT like me. But the more I learnt I knew that I’d end up training them when they’d recovered from a torn pec or a shattered knee. They would need me then. They eventually respected my knowledge because I could help them do what they wanted to do again. Once recovered, some of them would go back to their bad habits but many had been steered into a training habit that was more sustainable and a nutrition plan that extended beyond chicken and rice.

A gym visit should be a time to educate yourself. Learn what to do but know WHY you are doing it. Know the muscle groups you are using. Research the foods to eat to provide the right nutrients for your body and when to consume it. We can all take a slimming pill to lose weight and we can all inject ourselves to grow muscle. But as we get older our body becomes much more vulnerable to injuries and disease. So we need to know what to do now, whether you are reading this at 20, 40, 60 or 80 years old. Learn now.

So there is no set rule for training differently as you get older. You just need to keep getting better at it and knowing how to do it better each gym visit. This way you will see the best results with less injury and you will be the one still training long after those who didn’t want to learn.