Tag Archives: family

My Name Is…My Name Is (wicky wicky) Shay D.D

For the past couple of years my boys, aged 7 and 10, have been asking me if I know who Rick Astley is. As a child of the 80’s, I certainly do know of Rick Astley. Well, now my kids know of him too. Apparently he has a ‘Rick roll’ dance on the game Fortnite. But Rick seems to be yesterday’s news (or dance) and it is now a craze of Eminem.

Last week Jonas asked me if I knew of Eminem. With a ‘Pffft!’ I answered ‘yes of course!’

You see, back in the early 00’s, I dusted off my old Brian Harvey baggy jeans that I wore during the ‘Stay Now’ days, out came the basketball vests and bubble jacket, I bleached my thinning hair blonde and tried to capture the Marshall Mathers look. There’s nothing that my kids can tell me about Eminem.

Well, they can. Worryingly so.

Jonas is now walking around the house like Harry Enfield’s Kevin from Kevin and Perry quoting songs from Eminem.

It seems like everything that those of a certain age did back in the day to worry their parents is coming back to bite us in the arse. Rick Astley aside, it seems that my kids are beginning to dredge back up all of my most unfortunate memories from being young.

I vaguely remember getting stoned to Family Guy. I could easily get through four seasons without moving from my pit. Low and behold, Peter the ‘Family Guy’ has become a video game character that my kids are obsessed with.

If Mr Tumble brings out a hit song with Marylin Manson then I’ll start to think that the universe has it in for me.

Recently, I’ve begun to realise just how hard it was for my parents. It’s difficult to keep your children away from the latest craze if all of their mates are into it. Doing the right thing is tough. What is the right thing?

Today we bought them both smartphones for Christmas. They’re both too young, I know, but their friends all communicate on WhatsApp and seeing as our boys can no longer see their friends in person, a phone seemed like our only option.

I’m not sure you can ever get it right as a parent. Jonas is obsessed with Eminem now, but how can I allow Jonas to listen to his sweary lyrics?!

Well, luckily there are a few YouTube sites with ‘clean’ versions, but I’m putting a lot of trust in Jonas in keeping to those sites that I have found for him. If he comes out of his bedroom with a hockey mask and a chainsaw, I will know that he has detoured from them.

I was slightly insulted when Jonas asked me if I knew of Eminem. I used to be cool. I could spit some bars with the best of them…

…or maybe not.

But I still know of Eminem!

Truth be told if I had a choice I would much rather listen to Rick Astley’s songs than Eminem these days. I’m more Go West than Kanye. You get what I mean.

But either way, It looks like I’ll have to get to know these rappers all over again.

Shady spitting bars
Shay DD propping up bars

#Coimbra

I thought I would share with you my week so far. This includes a trip to Coimbra before celebrating my son’s birthday in Sertá.

It’s difficult at the moment to post as often as I did a few months ago, which I hate, but we have had a few things going on and Finlay and Jonas have been with us every step of the way! So I’m writing this on an evening as they’re tucked up in bed and I have a glass of Sagres to chill out with. So here’s the week so far…

Lou and I thought that a bus journey to Coimbra and an overnight stay would be a real treat for the boys as we have promised them that we would travel around Portugal as much as possible to discover the culture (and the shopping centres!)

We regretted not exploring Scarborough and its surroundings as much as we would have liked since moving there in 2018 and we don’t want to make the same mistake again. I blame COVID lockdowns for this, but in the past 12 months ‘Project Portugal’ had also become our focus.

The Rede Express coaches are a good way of getting around Portugal and Spain as it works out cheaper than driving the car due to fuel and tolls. I also don’t fancy the stress of the roads. I’m new to driving on the ‘wrong’ side of the road and I still need to keep reminding myself of which way the oncoming traffic is coming as I approach a junction. Sitting on a coach for an hour and fifteen minutes seemed like a good idea.

Our priority for Lou and I in Coimbra was to find birthday presents for Jonas and Christmas presents. It has a big shopping centre called The Forum. That’s where we headed first. It isn’t the most cultural of experiences that we would have preferred, but needs must. It’s basically a big White Rose Centre and as I say, we needed to find gifts.

Sertá, which is where we currently live and will be buying a house, is beautiful. But it is no ‘shop til you drop’ experience. We needed a big city. We needed glitz and glamour. We needed the bright lights and the buzz. We needed to join the hoards of shoppers looking for a Christmas bargain. We needed Primark.

We did, however, manage an evening at the Coimbra Christmas market. Something that is difficult to comprehend for us is the warm air even during the evening. As we walked around the stalls with our light jumpers or t-shirts, we noticed the locals in their bubble jackets and wooly hats. I mentioned a few times to Lou that it was ‘muggy’ as I patted my sweaty head down, trying not to look too touristy. I failed.

Coimbra was a hoot. We did enjoy dipping our toes into a bigger city. We also liked getting back to Sertá.

So then it was Jonas’ tenth birthday on Wednesday. We were worried that we wouldn’t be able to achieve a ‘special’ day for him as, for the first time on his birthday, he wouldn’t be around his friends in the UK. And, despite our trip to the shops in Coimbra, it was still difficult to do a great gift shop seeing as he was with us. However, a bit of planning months ago back in the UK meant that we had already purchased some gifts for him.

We also went for pizza at his favourite pizza restaurant, R&R, and had cake back at the apartment. Despite everything being a bit different, I think he really enjoyed his day.

There’s been some serious stuff to overcome this week too. Time was running out in getting them a start date for school in January. Lou and I have been getting a little nervous about this as the paperwork and communication between their previous school, North Yorkshire council, the Portuguese authorities and their new school hasn’t been easy. Everything must be translated and, along the way, bits of important information have been getting lost in translation.

But yesterday we received good news. Jonas and Finlay will be starting their new school, Escola Basica Padre Antonio Louranço Farinha, on the 3rd of January. The boys took the news very well. I really hope that, come the day, they are still happy to be going.

They have been constantly with us now for 7 weeks, 9 by the new year, they are in a different country with a new language to learn. I remember going back to school after a holiday. Even worse, starting a new school. I’d feel sick to my stomach the night before. My boys will have to be much braver than I ever was.

But this was always meant to be a part of our journey. To put us in new, challenging situations. To learn and grow as people. The 3rd of January will be yet another challenge for our kids. And it’s a biggy.

So, there we go! I think I’m up to date with this eventful week. Keep checking in for my updates leading up to Christmas!

Confessions Of A Tooth Fairy

Finlay’s tooth has been threatening to fall out for months. He has wobbled it, pulled it and tugged on it but the little blighter has held on by a thread.

Until yesterday.

His front tooth finally fell out. No fuss, no blood. Just popped out.

‘So!’ announced Finlay, ‘I’ll be getting a Euro from the Tooth Fairy tonight!’

He is right, of course, that the tooth fairy does indeed visit our home on tooth-coming-out occasions but here’s what you should know about the tooth fairy that has been allocated to us.

Finlay is adamant that the Tooth Fairy is a ‘he’, so for the sake of this article and in danger of misgendering our Tooth Fairy, I’ll refer to him as male.

But this is where the issue may stem from. He might be upset that we call him a ‘him’. You see, the Tooth Fairy didn’t turn up through the night. No euro was left and Finlay’s milky white was still there, under his pillow, all wrapped up in a bit of tissue.

So Lou and I have spent the morning making excuses for our Tooth Fairy. We told Finlay that, perhaps due to us having a few different addresses in the past few months, he wasn’t sure where we lived.

We waited a moment to see Finlay’s reaction as we tried to defend our erratic Fairy friend from Toothland.

I’m not sure that was believable.

I went on to explain that, due to the backlog of tooth fallings out recently he might be running late. I used my birthday card as an example. I was due my card from my dad on the 14th of November from England. It is now the 2nd of December and it still hasn’t arrived.

But likening the Tooth Fairy to the lackadaisical postal system in central Portugal didn’t seem to wash with young Finlay.

Ok, Here’s The Truth

The truth is that the Tooth Fairy is a very hard, honest working Fairy who was well aware of Finlay’s tooth under his pillow but had fallen asleep that evening after a few glasses of port watching Netflix.

The Tooth Fairy, in waking up a little disoriented on the sofa, totally forgot to take the tooth and leave a Euro.

It was a total black mark on an otherwise glittering CV, but the Tooth Fairy had fucked up this time.

Still, I attempted to defend him. I told Finlay that the Tooth Fairy had a much tougher job than Santa. Santa has loads of elves to make presents and then Santa does his job on one night and takes all the credit!

I mean, there’s actually some credibility in my argument, right?

Tonight, I’m sure, the Tooth Fairy will have had a sobering talking to with his conscience and will totally be on it tonight. Finlay, however, is unaware of the damning truth that the Tooth Fairy got carried away with a bottle of Port and forgot to put a Euro under his pillow last night.

So we have given Finlay a little tip. We told him that the Tooth Fairy might like a note of appreciation, asking for his tooth to be taken, and this is what he might be waiting for. Just a little letter of thanks for the job he does. After all, the Tooth Fairy might also be a parent who is trying to do their very best.

I don’t think that the Tooth Fairy will let us down tonight.

Hand Harvesting Olives

With the sale of our house in the UK at a critical period, the perfect time spent to put that to the back of our minds was to begin harvesting the olives in our rented space in Portugal.

The other day, as I walked past a local family harvesting their olives, I was astonished at how quickly they cleared their olive trees of olives. It was done with expert precision.

Our efforts today, however, might have seemed a little amateurish compared to our neighbours’ skills. Nevertheless, this was a moment to learn something new and as we discovered, a time to think.

Thinking clearly becomes difficult when there are so many plates to spin. Perhaps you’ve felt the same way at times too? It can feel like you’re taking on one too many plates and the only outcome you can visualise is one where the plates come crashing down.

Standing in a field, then, picking olives from the many trees, seemed like a much needed respite from the spinning plates.

And this is not an activity to be taken lightly in Portugal. Olive cultivation is big business and one of the oldest traditions in the country. It’s fun too.

Some time ago I wrote an article about my ‘happy place’. This was when I was walking along Cleveland Way in Scarborough, UK, and my family and I went berry picking. The kids were happy to explore their natural surroundings, learn about foraging and discovering what they could make with their newly picked berries.

No screens, no rush to be elsewhere, just living in the moment with nature. Today enabled me to feel that again as we harvested the olives. It humbled and grounded me. I think it did with the kids too. Finding them a school in their new home is paramount, but standing in a field learning new cultural standards comes a very close second.

Tomorrow we have many more trees to strip. Along with some textbook homeschooling and more phone calls to get our house sale over the line, I’ll be looking forward to standing in our field again.

Palhais

Along with my new resistance training which I’m now completing each morning, as a family we are beginning to explore our local area of Palhais in Sertá. And as I don’t have the use of a full time car, walking long distances has been a daily activity.

We happen to be almost in the very centre of Portugal. So much so that in the distance of our accommodation we can see the Centro Geodésico de Portugal, which is a tall white tower signalling the geographical centre of Portugal in Vila de Rei which offers fantastic panoramic views. But this region also has its challenges.

Buses are irregular and, if you do drive, the long and winding road through the mountainous route from Palhais to Cernache do Bonjardim is not for the faint hearted. And for those who are walking from place to place, kerbs aren’t really a thing here.

And that’s what we’re doing for the most part, doing lots of walking.

But luckily, whether we are on foot or in a car, we rarely see many cars on the road which suits my left hand lane driving brain.

In the town of Sertá, there are lots of things to see and do even on a drizzly (yet warmish) November day. Of course, the boys found a football pitch to have a kick about.

And then there’s Trizio, which is a wonderful river beach offering water sports during the summer periods. For now though, we got to see its beauty without any people there. When our youngest, Finlay, managed to stop talking for a second, we could hear just the silence of our surroundings. Bliss.

There are those days where we don’t feel like leaving our accommodation at all. It has a pool, which is freezing, but that didn’t stop Finlay from having a dip!

We know that what is around the corner for us in our lives will be a challenge. But it’s one that we signed up for. Tomorrow we will be looking at another house that has the potential to be our permanent home and business. It won’t be the finished product and we will have to put all of our resources into it, as well as ensuring that the kids’ wellbeing and schooling needs are met. So far, we have been able to explore our surroundings at our leisure. But we await the next chapter and we hope it will be in Palhais.

And we don’t expect a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, but we are hoping for a fulfilling, grounding and loving one.

A Day To Start A New Routine

Since arriving in Portugal I’ve ticked off a few necessary jobs that had to be done. Driving my (potentially) new car yesterday was a nerve-wracking task that I had to get over as I had never driven outside of the UK before. Another ‘biggie’ today will be to view a house that we are looking to buy.

But before that, another essential task will be to begin a fitness routine. Regular readers of my blog will recall me saying that I was prepared to put any regular training regime on hold while I focused fully on moving my family out of the UK.

I had left the gym that I worked and trained from in the summer and my own bits of gym equipment had been gradually palletised over the past few months so access to heavy resistance was difficult. Time was also an issue as I have been putting every ounce of energy into the move every second of each day.

Stopping a daily training program can be dangerous. Excuses can always be found and, whether they may be good enough reasons or not, a plan to begin a training program in the near future must be a priority if we are serious about our fitness goals. My passion for mental and physical health (and aesthetics) has never waned. I’ve kept my calories in check throughout so that I haven’t spiralled too much. I’ve been desperate to begin training again. But other than a calisthenics routine, I have felt restricted.

Now, just to be clear. Calisthenics is a great way to train. This is by exercising using bodyweight only. So push ups, press ups, squats, Burpees etc are good examples. But it has never excited me in the same way as resistance training. And I like to feel excited by a new challenge such as a different weight or a new piece of gym kit.

Oh, and talking of new bits of gym kit, I decided to start my daily routine again by lifting breeze blocks and bottles filled with sand!

I do appreciate an unconventional method. I sometimes feel that the polished arrangement of a commercial gym can be off putting. Lifting heavy stuff in a Portuguese field with the view of the mountains, however, is something that can’t be bought with a gym membership. I just had to take advantage. Today was a day to start a new routine.

And I have little excuse not to. For a short time now this land and its gym is what I call home. Until we can find our new permanent home and create our new business, this is my life. I have energy and lots of thinking and meditating time in abundance. Sure the kids will keep me busy, and home schooling will be important to us until we find a permanent school. But that’s all part of finding this new routine.

I just know that my workouts will become an important part of it.

Remote Control

We’ve stayed in a few different hotels/apartments/caravans over the past ten days and I have found that one of the biggest things I take for granted is the ability to pause and rewind the TV. And because we’re not recording our usual programmes, we can’t fast forward the adverts. First world problems eh?

Last night we missed a bit of dialogue between George Shuttleworth and Todd Grimshaw in Coranation Street. It almost ruined my day.

Ah, the day. VISA appointment day. The missed dialogue on Coranation Street, as disappointed as I was, cannot compare to the trauma of VISA appointment day. It is fair to say that it didn’t go entirely to plan. We realized that, if they eventually accept our application to live and work in Portugal, they won’t be making it easy for us.

By the evening all I wanted to do was watch a bit of TV and hear what the characters had said so that we could follow the story line.

I like soap operas. No matter what sort of day you’ve had you can bet that some poor sod in soap land is going through something worse.

Or are they? I don’t know. I didn’t hear what George and Todd had said. And I couldn’t rewind to find out!

Imagine being able to pause, rewind or fast forward real life. Sometimes I want to pause time so that the kids stop growing up so fast. But then I’m wishing time along at the moment to fast forward past our house sale completion date. And if I could rewind I’d probably go back to our VISA appointment with the correct documents.

But, alas, I can’t.

All I can do is press the play button and try to write the script as I go along. There are some great scenes that I’m creating but I must acknowledge the poor ones too. Even the very best of movies have scenes that aren’t as good, although I struggle to find one in Pulp Fiction. But we can’t all live in a masterpiece. Sometimes, things don’t go to plan.

And when I don’t have the remote control to rewind a vital piece of dialogue in Coranation Street, plans have definitely taken a turn for the worst.

What did you say George?!