I might jump on the scales a couple of times a year. I generally don’t judge my physical progress by what the scales will say. There are so many factors that can confuse the weighing scales that it simply cannot give me an accurate account of my progress.
One of the biggest of these misleading factors, especially in the summer months, is the swelling of the body due to water retention. This not only makes me look physically more bloated, but it can add several pounds on the scales.
It can be a confusing time for those who are closely monitoring their progress on the weighing scales, as they become demoralised by having put in so much effort in maintaining or losing body weight yet not getting the rewarding numbers on their scales.
So here’s the sciencey bit…
Water accounts for around 60% of a person’s weight. For the average person, this represents 42 litres. We turnover 2-3 litres of water per day. The temperature and the exercise intensity will determine how much we sweat (the biggest loss of water) and therefore will determine the water requirements needed to replace this water in the body.
The body compensates for this loss of water through fluid conservation hormones like aldosterone, which allows the kidneys to retain more fluid.
In my experience I meet many ‘weight loss’ gym goers who panic at the numbers on the weighing scales without actually acknowledging that their body is cleverly keeping them alive and well and doesn’t care that they want to lose a few pounds. It is totally natural to have bloaty times and, whether through environmental, behavioural or ageing processes usually comes down to one thing…our hormones.
But it is extremely important to remember that long term positive habits will always trump an occurrence such as water retention. Once you commit to a process and consistently carry it out then you will see the results that you want. In the meantime, you just have to accept that the human body is a wonderful machine that is working to keep you healthier than what the weighing scales ever will. And maybe the scalese are a machine you can do without.
I might not have millions of pounds, a yacht or a big house to pass on to my kids when I pass, but I do hope that I can teach them a few things.
One thing that I would like to achieve is for them to understand that doubt will only hold them back. Past mistakes can cripple future ambitions.
It’s easy to live in the past. And for the good and the bad, the past at least gives us a sense of comfort. Our brain will call upon previous experiences from our lives and it provides familiarity. The future, however, can be seen as a scary, uncertain time. We often choose not to go there or think about it too much. So, in an attempt to stay safe, we keep referring back to what we have lived before. Whether we like what we have lived before or not.
The problem though, is that you cannot become who you want to be because you are too attached to who you’ve been. And this can be a monkey on your back all through your adult life until it’s too late.
My kids might not appreciate the process of leaving their friends, school, home, town and country now, but I’m hoping that in the future they will thank me when they’re living in Portugal with the opportunities that can open up for them.
But, for now, they might feel a little bit of doubt. They know what they know. Even with the reassurance and promise of what me and their mum can give to them, it is still an unknown reality.
And adults do the same. Adults miss out on creating their own business or going for a new career opportunity because of the doubts that creep in. Adults miss out on friendship and finding love because they are scared of being rejected. Adults are becoming depressed about their health and lifestyle because they refuse to commit to positive change.
But not all adults. You’ll notice that the ones who are smiling and are happy within themselves have all removed the lingering doubts that stop them from living with a more positive outlook. They’ve stopped calling upon the previous negative experiences that they’ve had and instead invested in their future selves.
You can’t change what happened ten years ago, but you do have a say in what happens in ten years time.
I want to let my kids know that they will make mistakes, but it is how they can learn and move on which will enable them to have bright futures. If they dwell on their mistakes then that is where doubt will set in. They will be tethered to the past.
I have worked with thousands of people who initially came to me with help regarding their health, weight and aesthetics. And there isn’t a single client that has failed by planning their future. This could be by preparing meals for the week more carefully or planning gym visits and booking fitness classes. But we can go even further into our most inner needs and desires. Once we begin to focus on the person we would like to be, then it is so much easier to plan on being that person. And then, as a habit, continue to think about this person.
Let’s think of another daily habit that you might have. Say, putting the kettle on in the morning. The kettle takes two minutes to boil. This gives you two minutes to visualize your day, your week, your next five years of your life. Think of it as a trailer to the best movie ever with a fantastic cast and a great ending and you are the main character.
What would you look like? What friends and family would be around you? What activities would you be doing? What’s the plot? Where is it set?
My favourite time to do this visualisation is when I put the washing out. Some of my best made plans have come whilst pegging my undies to the washing line. Why? Because it is a mundane task that is usually done daily and I don’t have to cram in another habit within my already busy day. I have time to think. I can daydream. I have to put the washing out. Why not make it interesting and productive?
The movie I have created for my family has a happy ending but there are sad moments too. Just like any good story. But because I have planned this script so many times during putting out the washing or cleaning out the guinea pig hutch, I know how it ends. Therefore I have no doubt about it, I can live my happiest life.
What can you begin to focus on for your future? Start setting realistic targets, find a really boring job that needs doing almost daily and make your movie now!
For one last time in a Scarborough Athletic FC shirt…
We would all like to see…
Their under 9’s number 6…
Bring the Corus Cup home.
Last year’s Corus Cup was eventful and it ended up with Jonas lifting a football trophy for the very first time. Next week will see him play his very last game for Scarborough Athletic FC and I hope I can post a picture similar to the one above.
My latest podcast deals with powerful affirmations to overcome difficult moments in your life and how you can unlock the code using your inner strength.
Apologies for not being present on my blog site for a week or two. I do keep a check on comments and such from my readers but I simply haven’t found the time to write.
As the title suggests, it’s been a busy period with many great events such as my youngest turning seven. This included pizza and cake on his actual birthday and then a bowling party with lots of fried party food a couple of days later.
And then my wife and I celebrated our wedding anniversary of 14 years. We seem to grow stronger as we continue our journey together and, along with our two boys, we make a great team. Just as well then, seeing as this current journey has the ability to hit a bit of turbulence. But I’ll get to that shortly.
To celebrate our anniversary and knowing that we wouldn’t be getting any childcare to have our own grown up celebration, we decided to put the big three bedroom tent up in our garden for an adventure. The kids loved it as we ate yet more pizza and kebab in the tent from the takeaway, told eerie camping stories and then slept in it through the night. My wife and I managed a bottle of fizz (or two) as the kids got to sleep first.
So the last couple of weeks have been eventful and, although there have been lots of celebratory reasons to enjoy less nutritional food and drink, there has also been an element of comfort eating. This brings me back to the turbulence.
Regular readers will know that we accepted an offer on our house in the UK and are set to leave for Portugal in the coming months. However, a few days ago we found out that the buyers of a house further down the sale chain had pulled out of their deal. The buyers of our house remain in a good position to still purchase our house though so we are hoping that the chain can be ‘repaired’ quickly and we can continue without too much time lost.
But the stress and anxiety of the waiting and chasing up phone calls to estate agents and solicitors has been telling. We’re also awaiting further news of our VISA application.
And I must admit. I have taken my eye off of my usual nutritious diet and allowed more processed foods in. Not having the motivation to prepare big meals or the inclination to choose a healthy snack over the smokey bacon crisps (I don’t even like smokey bacon crisps) has been apparent in my recent mood.
This would have added further anxiety to my life before I began studying for my Personal Training qualifications and understanding how we behave the way we do and how we react to certain events in our lives. Losing track of my discipline would have made me believe that I was failing in some way.
I used to look at myself in the mirror after a workout and feel like Jason Statham. I’d leave the gym feeling good about myself. But if I looked at myself after eating a bag of crisps I would feel disappointed and useless.
But now? I reflect almost daily on what I can improve on in my life. I ask myself, did I really need those crisps? How did my workout make me feel? Did I treat my wife and kids with the love and respect they deserve today? What one thing could improve my wellbeing tomorrow? If I answer honestly, I usually find a solution in which I can begin to map out a better pathway. It all becomes a little clearer.
I can always do better, but if I call my recent over reliance on certain foods a failure then I am missing out on a massive opportunity to learn. Mistakes, blips or regrets are simply tools to teach ourselves something different.
I’ll eat crisps again, for sure, even smokey bacon. But from tomorrow, it’ll be back on my terms. It won’t be for comfort or for convenience.
Next week will undoubtedly be another eventful one. One which will be entered with plenty of optimism. One without turbulence. One with positive results.
For the past eight years as a Personal Trainer and now more recently as a meditation guide and Cognitive Behavioural Therapist I have been asking people what they want from life/gym/work/relationships and I will often get a reply about what they don’t want.
It seems that we are fixated, or petrified, of what is going to or could go wrong. And maybe that is a natural response. It’s our defence mechanism. It enables us, we think, to deal with disappointment.
In my own personal experience at the moment, when I tell people about my move to Portugal, from the majority of people they will instantly say ‘but what about work?’ or what about this and what if that.
I understand their concerns. Every possible outcome has been observed by my wife and I. But the positive outcomes are the ones that we channel our energy into. In techniques such as meditation, quantum jumping, mantras and cleansing our spaces of negative energy through singing bowls we know that the vibrations that we are sending to the universe will provide positive outcomes.
I have spoken before about how the universe acts like a computer algorithm. It will respond to whatever we are focussed on.
Do you find that you start to get advertisements for your next holiday because you googled ‘cheap holiday deals’?
You might find that topics that you have researched on your phone recently will appear as ads on this blog.
The universe does the same.
So if I devote my time to the things that I want to happen in my life, the more likely it is going to happen.
The signals that I send into the universe will determine how I react to certain events in my life and the outcomes that will play out.
When you focus your energy on becoming fitter, eating healthier and setting gym goals you begin to feel better about yourself and you will start to see results much quicker.
If you focus your energy on losing your belly, banning chocolate and not planning your gym time then what you have done is send negative energy and you are more likely to feel negative from your experiences.
It is, of course, so much easier to channel this energy through meditation. A moment each day where you can type in all the positive good stuff into your computer and allow the algorithms to give you its feedback.
What I want you to do right now after you read this is to stop fearing what could go wrong and start welcoming what could go right.
Do it each day. You might be pleasantly surprised.
There are moments when I worry about putting down roots for myself and my family.
I do, however, give myself a little talking to and realise that ‘putting down roots’ can mean so many different things.
I suppose the most common way of defining the phrase is to have ‘a settled life in a particular place.’ That’s the Oxford Languages definition on Google, anyway.
And it is this description that, until I give my head a wobble, is what concerns me.
I have no affinity to where I was born, grew up or any place that I have lived. I don’t call myself a Yorkshireman and I’d prefer to be known as an Earthling than English or British.
It’s not that I dislike any particular place. I just don’t connect with it. I don’t support Leeds Utd because I was born within walking distance of Elland Road and I don’t wave the St George flag when it’s a World Cup.
And when I move to Portugal, as much as I will respect their laws and traditions, you won’t find me running through the streets in Santarem with the bulls or singing A Portuguesa at the top of my voice waving the Bandera Verde-Rubra.
Indeed, as beautiful as Portugal is, I cannot say for sure if it will be the country I will grow old and die in. One of the reasons that I crave my freedom of movement back is so that I can explore more of the continent. My new blue passport represents chains around my ankles, not freedom.
So what, then, does my rational mind interpret ‘putting down roots’ to be?
My roots are a state of mind. It is not a tangible, physical place. My roots are the principles that I live by and pass on to my children. My roots are what will determine how far my branches can reach and explore. But you cannot see my roots. And if we look at the roots of a tree, it is said that a tree can provide a day’s oxygen for up to four people. We might think that the tree just stands still, yet it is reaching out far and wide. We just don’t see it.
Roots are more than what happens on a piece of land. It is how we nourish the things around us and how we learn and teach.
My children are going through a tough time in leaving their physical roots behind. Jonas loves York and can get a bit emotional about not being so close to his home town. Finlay keeps asking about visiting Leeds again before we leave for Portugal. Explaining to them their roots as a state of mind is difficult at their ages. I understand that it is an uncomfortable feeling to be leaving the environment that they call home, especially when it is the only thing that they know in their little lives.
But I’m hoping that their experiences will help them to grow and experience stuff that they wouldn’t normally do and see. I’m hoping that they can equip themselves with a wise and worldly vision for adulthood and they build strong characters.
After all, Dolly Parton says it best…”Storms make trees take deeper roots.”
And whatever your roots are, know that every storm just makes you a little stronger.
I write this as a kind of message to myself. I’m currently needing to muster all of my positive energy to remain committed to our project of creating our Wellbeing Centre in Portugal.
And that’s not because I don’t want to do it or cannot be bothered to continue with the process. Far from it. But it’s because I’m scared.
Yesterday we had a phone call from our estate agents. We are 8 weeks into the sale of our house in Scarborough and each day is a nervous one as we hope that the chain stays in tact and we complete the sale. We’ve had the estate agent call before on a previous sale and it was to say that the buyer had pulled out. So we’re on tenterhooks now.
However, yesterday’s call was a good one. All being well, they said, the sale could be complete within two weeks.
Two weeks!
That’s much earlier than our expected date of early August. My wife and I looked at each other. Hearts racing at the news. I think I mouthed a swear word. My wife just said,”What are we doing?!!”
Portugal now seems very real. Visas seem very real. Finding and buying a house, a car…oh and driving a car on the opposite side of the road, arranging for our stuff to be sent over, schools for the kids, building our business, learning the language and generally putting ourselves in a very different life to what we are used to. It’s all very real now.
But whatever it is that we want to achieve, being committed to the plan and the ultimate goal is an absolute necessity. It would’ve been easy during the past few months to talk ourselves out of it and simply carry on with our current life. We are happy. The kids are happy. But we committed to a goal that we have dreamt about for many years. It’s not a whim. Indeed, it has been planned for over ten years or more. And even before my wife and I had met each other, we had hopes of moving abroad. It’s only when the UK left the EU did we pluck up the courage to do it.
The other necessary ingredient to reach your goals is to admit that sometimes it is getting tough or you are scared. I say it to myself. I say it to my wife. I even put it out to the world in my blogs.
Rewarding stuff in life isn’t meant to be easy to obtain. It should be difficult.
It could be going to the gym for the first time or having your first PT appointment. It might be applying for a job in your dream career. It could be setting up your own business or entering a new relationship. There will be times that you will be scared about the outcome, but you must trust the process.
The house, the yurts, the massage rooms, the gym and the schools won’t fall into our lap once we are in Portugal. And we’ve already talked about the strain that such a massive move can have on a relationship. Truth be told, I’m absolutely bricking it.
But I’m also committed. I’m committed to the project and I’m committed to doing this with my wife, best friend and business partner.
I don’t really do footballing heroes. I love the sport and I enjoy supporting Liverpool, but I do it all from afar. You won’t find me on the Kop at Anfield every week singing the names of the players. After all, they don’t come to watch me at my place of work either.
Also, despite being a massive football fan, top elite football can bore me a little. VAR (video assistant referee) can slow the game down too much and the injury feigning is a drag. So paying out hundreds of pounds to watch it live doesn’t float my boat.
However, seeing the pictures of Roberto (Bobby) Firmino’s final game at Anfield was quite emotional. He’s as close to a professional footballing hero as I have. And, yes, he’s a super talented footballer, but it’s the way he conducts himself as a person that has always impressed me. For 8 years at Liverpool, he has gone about his work with modesty and humility. No wonder the fans sing ‘Sim Señor’ to him whenever he appears on the pitch.*
I wish him all the best in the future.
An emotional Bobby on his final Anfield game
But I do have an outright winner to be my footballing hero and that’s my eldest son Jonas. Not only is he much better than I was at 9 years old, but he has overcome so much to continue doing what he loves to do which is to play football.
Covid halted his progress in football, but more importantly in his ability to develop his social skills. He would refuse to do weekly zoom meetings with school which were compulsory and he wouldn’t get involved in zoom meetings with his football team, Scarborough Athletic. He began with nervous ticks which he still has to control now and a trial at Leeds Utd ended with him walking off of the pitch because he felt overwhelmed. He became more and more isolated during lockdowns and he still has moments where he can get anxious in certain settings.
But on the football pitch is where he likes to express himself the most. With two feet and a great understanding of the game, he stands out when he plays.
But today he had his own ‘Sim Señor’ moment as he played his final game for his club. Of course, he managed a goal and an assist in the 2-2 game. His next team, if he wishes to pursue the game, will be in Portugal. This will be another massive step for Jonas if he joins another team having to re-establish himself in a different culture and a foreign language. So it’ll be a test for him, for sure.
The Scarborough Athletic coaches, Sam and Andy have been extremely supportive to Jonas at the club.
But it would be foolish to underestimate him. His setbacks have given him a steely resilience. He has had to work extremely hard sometimes just to go to training or a match, depending on his anxieties. Slowly he is overcoming this but a new environment will challenge this resilience.
It is, however, his Never Give Up attitude that makes him my footballing hero but it’s not about his talents, it is for the very same traits that Bobby Firmino has that impress me the most. He isn’t the loudest on the pitch, he is happy for his teammates to get the goals and the accolades, he plays football with a smile and he just keeps his head down and gets on with it.
I hope that he can continue to thrive in Portugal.
* Sim Señor were the original words to the Bobby Firmino song as this is Brazilian Portuguese but has been changed to Si Señor by the football fans.
Never Give Up PT 