I wonder if any of my readers might know the author of this quote…
“It is better to have done something imperfectly than done nothing flawlessly.”
I like it. And in my attempts to find the author I came across another quote not dissimilar by John Steinbeck…
“And now you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good.”
What is wrong with imperfections? What is wrong with good? Or sometimes even adequate?
Blimey! If I could leave the gym feeling that I had done an adequate workout for most of my visits then I would have been making excellent progress!
But perfection? Even if I attempted to aim for that then I know that I would be disappointed. Disappointment leaves us demoralised. Being demoralised means that we give up. When we give up, we achieve nothing.
I have begun to embrace my imperfections. Maybe it’s an age thing, I dunno. I aim to do a ‘good’ job at everything I do. I have sometimes got anxious about not getting it spot on and it leaves me feeling rubbish. Inadequate. But when I aim for ‘good’, there’s a weight of responsibility lifted from my shoulders. It’s almost as if I can just begin to enjoy the task in hand rather than pretend to be super human.
I do my best at that moment in time.
And this helps me to understand other people’s efforts too. I used to get frustrated when my son could play a ‘player of the match’ performance one week and the next he didn’t turn up. This, as I now realise, can be for a whole number of reasons. Just like a client in a training session. We will not always achieve a personal best, a player of the match performance, score a worldy or be at our optimum 24/7. We are not robots.
But what I appreciate about my kids, employees, clients and of myself is that we just turn up and give it a go. To do our best in that moment.
Sometimes we feel like crap, right? We’re not always on tip top form. But it would be better to have done something imperfectly than to do nothing flawlessly.
Have a think about that the next time you’ve got a job or a task that you face. Just do it and do your best
So, I’d best get my hair cut to look my very best! We’ve just found out that we will be having an interview with C4’s A New Life In The Sun on Friday. It’s basically a telly box show about people from the UK moving to work and live abroad.
When we applied, we didn’t really expect to hear anything after that. But today we got the message that they want to set up a casting call with Lou and I!
What fun!
And I don’t think I’ve ever been on telly before. Maybe I worked my way into a shot during Challenge Anika in the early 90’s when Anika Rice was doing up a school near where I lived, but I’ve never played the main role!
We have, of course, developed a YouTube channel called The Road To Tranquility which we are yet to film a first episode. After all, although the road has been long for us so far, we haven’t even made it out of the country! So not much to film as yet.
Lou and I have watched and often become inspired by other participants of A New Life In The Sun for years. And although this is a journey that neither of us have ever done before, perhaps if we pass the casting call, we can inspire others too.
Some days can be a drag. Perhaps the ups of a festival with lots of live music with thousands of people can leave the next day a bit of a come down. It’s a bank holiday but there’s lots to do. A business plan keeps popping up in my mind but I keep procrastinating. I’ve watched Darwin Nunez’s two goals from yesterday a hundred times and I’ve decided to write this blog. Important, but not as pressing as the business plan.
Or is it?
I’m writing down my thoughts of exactly how I’m feeling in the now. Kinda like a diary. Something that I have encouraged many of my clients to do. So maybe it is quite pressing. Except this diary is put out to the world for everyone to read. Still, if it resonates with just one person then I’m happy for this to be seen.
I had to go into my son’s bedroom today to intervene in a dispute on Fortnight. He was upset. This grumpiness is usually a sign of tiredness. We didn’t leave the festival until 11 last night and he hasn’t learnt the art of sleeping in on a bank holiday yet.
After giving advice about how to move forward regarding his dispute he still argued his point to me. Feeling like a Premiership referee with a footballer contesting his red card, I said,”Nobody’s mood is getting me down today.” With that I left his room.
I knew that I was tired and edgy myself first thing this morning. It’s nothing that a coffee wouldn’t solve, but telling my son, myself and what felt like the whole universe, “nobody’s mood is getting me down today,” helped me in developing today’s mantra. The aggressive driver, the rude person in the supermarket barging into the queue, any phone caller trying to piss on my parade or my own kid throwing a paddy over a computer game were not going to get me down today.
Eventually, I have now got my kids to come off of their screens and play a board game. Old skool playing. The game is called The Game Of Life. A classic 70’s game about trying to ‘win’ at life.
Perhaps defiantly stating to the world that nobody will get me down is a little win at life for myself. At least for today.
It’s been really difficult in the past to get Finlay to try new foods and will usually stick to what he knows and likes, mostly cheddar cheese and milk!
However, we had a breakthrough moment tonight as he tried a snail! In fact he ended up having two and then spat a third one out because it was a bit grainy.
I don’t think we’ll be adding them to the shopping list again though, but at least he attempted something new.
Finlay, my 7 year old son, is currently enjoying Charlie And The Great Glass Elevator by Roald Dahl. I like that he is now at an age where he can read the books of Roald Dahl as it brings back so many memories for myself as I was also an avid reader of his work as a child.
This particular book, in true Dahl fashion, has the chapter about a pill invented by Wonka that makes you look younger. The Wonka-Vite. Finlay read the chapter with me and announced, “You need one of these pills daddy.”
Oh how brutally honest children can be! “Yes, sometimes I feel like I could do with a Wonka-Vite.” I replied.
It is concerning, however, when manufacturers, advertisers and the media are as brutal as a child when they try to flog their pills and potions. I’m sure that they want us to feel old and fat and insecure because insecure people are often willing to spend money on finding a cure for their insecurities. Almost daily I see an advert or link to a site that sells weight loss tablets.
And these little gadgets in our hands are now the conduit which connects these companies straight to us. These ads know who we are, what we look like, what we search for and what we want. They’re happy to oblige.
Another ad that regularly crops up on my social media feed is the miracle cure for baldness. So if any of you don’t know by now, I’m bald. The interesting thing here though is that they declare that they can ‘cure’ me.
Am I sick? Have I got a disease? Should I tell people to stand two metres apart and wash their hands while singing to Oasis if they accidentally touch my folically challenged smooth head? Is it life threatening? Please, tell me, doctors on my FB page, how long have I got left?!
Kids make the same diagnosis as these ads. Having worked with kids for the past year, I know that they are very keen to point out that I’m bald. I play on this, of course. I’ve been losing my hair for long enough to not care one bit about it. As we get caught in the rain playing football I will suggest that we go back inside so that I don’t get my hair wet. The chorus of kids shouting back at me ‘But you’re bald!!!” will forever amuse me.
And when I ask for a second opinion my own kids confirm the diagnosis of this baldness disease. They’re astute. The future of the NHS is safe.
These pills, potions and magical cures can be very costly. But one thing is free. The ability to love oneself is free and available to everyone. It’s sometimes difficult to find, but it can be found.
If losing weight is a goal then loving yourself at the beginning of the process makes the journey so much easier. We forgive those that we love. We wish the people we love the very best. We stand in their corner when they need someone to cheer them on. We give them good, honest advice.
So I don’t really need a Wonka-Vite to feel younger and I don’t need a cure for baldness. I already have a potion that makes me dance like a young John Travolta and sing Rock DJ like a top of his game albeit a little arrogant Robbie Williams circa 2000….
A week without too many work appointments has given me time to think. I am, of course, in the middle of the school summer holidays and with a house to pack, but nevertheless, there are moments presented to me to think.
I think about my younger self quite a lot. Leigh, as I was called from birth, was an angry young man at times. By 18 I was a member of the Socialist Workers Party standing in the middle of Leeds City centre with my friends talking to the public about the injustices of society looking like an extra from Citizen Smith.
Along with a tattoo of Che Guevara on my arm, I dressed like I was ready for guerrilla warfare. And that is where my name Shay came from. My English friends would pronounce Che’s name with a Sh, instead of Ch. So they called me Shay.
I don’t regret my involvement with the SWP. They were well meaning people who were perplexed by the world around them. And I would never discourage anybody from being more active in politics. But it dragged me down. It had just turned 2002. World politics was very charged. I had to take a step back.
I used to think that I could change the world. But I soon found out that I couldn’t. Those who know me, however, know that they will hear my views on current affairs within ten minutes of meeting up with me. I don’t hide them.
I’ve always watched news programmes and read history books. I soon swapped The Beano for Alan Bullock’s Parallel Lives: Hitler And Stalin. I’d forfeit computer game nights with my mates for Question Time.
But I couldn’t just read or watch about the world we live in without forming strong opinions. Opinions that then made me want to change the way the world was.
It became increasingly frustrating for me when I began to realise that I couldn’t. Not in the way I wanted to. In the way I thought I should. I felt some responsibility for that.
It took me a long time to work out that the best way to change anything is to change my own attitude. I took control of who I hung around with, ridding myself of toxic people. I became incredibly choosy about the news outlets that I would observe. I would go for long walks when I felt anxious which then led to a love affair with the gym. I met and married a wonderful, caring person and now teach our children to be compassionate and kind human beings.
I’m not fighting the enemy in Bolivia. I’m not glueing myself to buildings. I’m not campaigning in the city centre streets. But I am trying to be the best version of myself that I possibly can. That’s all that I can ask of myself. I’ll always keep my principles close to me. They’re so close that you’ll see them worn on my sleeve. But I decided to pick my fights very carefully. That way, I stay in control of me. I have the power.
But if I can change myself, then I am in a much better place to make changes to the world around me. The people I am in contact with. The environment I am in. The future of those I love. And together we can make the world a brighter place.
Did you know that we release powerful hormones such as dopamine and serotonin when we smile or are smiled at?
Mother Theresa said that ‘Peace begins with a smile.’
Wouldn’t that be lovely? Perhaps giving yourself a smile in the mirror on a morning and telling yourself how fantastic you are will start that ripple effect. First on your family, then your work colleagues and even strangers in the street.
Now that’s changing the world.
I’ll leave you with a quote from the poet Rumi, who said, “Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise so I decided to change myself.”
I like to look out for anything that could be useful for my business at the car boot sale. Kettlebells, dumbbells and anything gym related can be often found at these places especially since COVID lockdown. Many of us decided to buy bits of equipment when the gyms closed in order to remain fit and healthy. These items have now found their way to charity shops, online auctions and car boot sales.
Never did I dream of finding a punch bag in such good condition for £15! It looks like it is an ex bag from a boxing gym.
Padwork has always been incorporated in my fitness sessions. I’m qualified in ‘boxing for exercise’, which is the official title on the certificate. This means that I can train people in padwork and boxercise type exercises, but I can’t train the next Tyson Fury. Below is an example of my session in the gym.
How I aim to train people away from the gym, however, will be totally different. Especially with a punch bag to hang up. This, in theory, and with the correct insurance (!) will enable visitors to use the facilities without my presence. After all, the price difference will be considerable for me doing padwork with them or them using a bag on their own. So giving people the option will be good.
And talking of cost, as long as you have a willing partner, padwork is a very inexpensive way to have fun whilst exercising! Hanging a bag up in your garage is also an option, of course!
So here’s the bottom line. You don’t always need a gym, a PT, lots of cash or time to exercise. Having a good eye for a bargain in a charity shop or car boot sale could give you just what you need.
After an early morning start, Jonas and I have been sifting through his goals archive and have decided that this is his best goal of his career so far. Click the link and enjoy!
Well here I go. After all my constant talk of planning for your fitness goals I feel as though I am at a point where I can’t really plan for my own fitness goals. Not with any great precision anyway.
I have no gym and my time is compromised coming into a very busy summer period with work and the kids being off school. Oh, and with a house search in another country to plan, my health and fitness goals are getting further away.
I hope, seeing as I have now left training people in commercial gyms, that the legacy I left is that I am a ‘real life’ trainer. I’m honest, work to a client’s strengths and I am motivated in reaching realistic goals. So then, if I were having a chat with Shay the personal trainer, what would he say to me?
Me: I’ve not got any training plan in place for the rest of this year. I will have no time during the summer holidays as I will be busy with work each day. After the summer holidays I will be finishing off my packing to move to Portugal. Once I’m there there’s going to be lots of driving, researching and preparing for my business.
Shay PT: Your work will involve coaching sports to kids. Last year you were counting over 20,000 steps per day. That’s at least 10,000 extra steps than the recommended daily target for the average person. Also, a lot of preparation for your business will involve landscaping the land. Physical work such as this can burn around 500 calories per hour. So your NEAT (non exercise activity thermogenesis) is looking very healthy indeed!
Also, you have a selection of resistance equipment that you will eventually be taking to Portugal. Before you pack them up, think of a 30 minute routine that you can do in the garden on a decent summer’s evening after you’ve put the kids to bed. Promise yourself 3 of these sessions a week. And I know you have the time. It just means watching one less episode of the series you’re watching.
So your activity levels are looking pretty good, but it’ll mean nothing unless you keep your nutrition on track. That takes a little preparation. Make your lunch in the evening for the next day. For breakfast, stick to drinking your fruit and oat smoothies. Make sure that vegetables are available for every evening meal. Keep convenient, fast food to a minimum but don’t be too restrictive. No food should be banned.
A plan doesn’t have to involve regimented routines and dull food. Nothing I have just mentioned is life changing stuff. It’s just a sensible few tweaks to ensure that you stay on track for when you have more time and you are more settled in your new home.
Never Give Up PT 