Writer Walter Elliot once wrote, “Perseverance is not a long race. It is many short races one after the other.”
I have said this many times during my personal training and therapy sessions, but I needed to remind myself of this today when I discovered a startling statistic held by my family and I.
Since October we have lived and slept in eight different houses, caravans, apartments and hotels without having a permanent home.
These include a caravan in Filey, a hotel in Manchester, a house in Malton, a house in Leeds, an apartment in Porto, an apartment in Palhais (Portugal), an apartment in Coimbra (Portugal) and an apartment in Sertá (Portugal.)
And with a VISA appointment due later this month that takes two days, we will be staying overnight in Leria. Thanks for that 52%. Hopefully your Sunlit Uplands are going well for you.
To be honest, I’m absolutely sick of traveling and living out of a suitcase. Tomorrow night, for the first time in 5 months, we will be staying in our own home.
Lou and I have been concerned about how the boys will cope but they have, for the most part, been absolutely brilliant. Micro managing this part of parenting has been extremely difficult though. After all, we would not have continued with this journey if the boys had not been fully in agreement with it too.
We, as a family, had to persevere. From caravan to house to apartment and hotel room. Each one a short race of its own. But that’s all each one was. A short race.
So what’s my point?
This is important to remember. You have a goal to reach. But so many goals are abandoned because we see it as a long race. Eventually, a long race can become demoralising, tedious and unobtainable. Simply put, you need to break it down into smaller tasks that can be achieved before moving onto the next task.
In effect, I have used the SMART method of achieving the end goal. I have spoken about the effectiveness of SMART before.
S… Be Specific with numbers and deadlines.
M…Be sure that the goal is Measurable and trackable.
A…make the goal attainable, challenging and possible.
R…be Realistic and honest with yourself.
T…remain Time-Bound and stick to deadlines.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve questioned every letter of this acronym in the past 14 months. That’s natural. But I have never doubted the process. I am always able to reason with it eventually.
This has never been a long race. It has always been lots of short races that need to be tackled one at a time. Hopefully, that makes me smart.
0700 I’m making the kid’s breakfast. The meeting in Vila de Rei at 10 this morning is on my mind. This is when we officially make the house ours, meet the current owners and exchange the deeds. There’s a lot of money on this and it’s a life changer. Soon, we’ll be home owners in Portugal.
0840 sitting on the balcony of the rented apartment waiting for our 9:15 lift from the estate agents. The view is of a typical town street in Sertá. It serves me some thinking time. Some reflection on our journey so far. Blimey. This time last year we were trying to find out what VISA we needed to live in Portugal! Now we’re here. Its real!
1233 the house is officially ours! The meeting was long and in Portuguese (of course) so it was an odd experience when you’re handing over a lot of cash! However, my language learning has paid off and we stumbled across the finish line.
Officially Knackered
Since the end of 2022 we have been slowly creating a pathway to our new life in Portugal. The hours that have accumulated into days of house searching online (plus two visits) have led us to this point where we can actually say that we have our home and business in Portugal.
But it has also meant taking away the bricks that have been safely built back in England. I gave up my PT business. Lou gave up her treatment room. We took our children out of a wonderful school and we sold our home in Scarborough. We tested our marriage and our mental health and, most terrifyingly, our children’s well being. After all, they are at an age where they had begun to make good friends and they knew adults such as teachers and grandparents who they could rely on and feel safe with. And now the four of us have to start again. Building up relationships, businesses and our home.
Lou and I are officially knackered. I’ve often said that social media can give the wrong impression of events. Recently I’ve shared pictures of myself sitting on the balcony sipping wine, but I didn’t post a picture of me and my wife having a meltdown when our UK house sale fell through.
On Instagram I have posted videos of the wonderful scenery of the local area, but I didn’t post videos of Jonas crying himself to sleep when he was scared of missing his UK friends.
And, on this blog, I have posted a picture of Lou and I holding up the keys to our new home and business. What I won’t post is the picture of us looking over our finances trying to figure out how to get enough clients to pay for it.
So, for all that I can honestly say that we are happy with what we have achieved so far, it’s been a long journey with much further to go before we can really begin to take a step back and fully enjoy it.
But for now, one step at a time, the house is ours.
Above is the Facebook link to mine and my family’s journey in creating our home and business in Portugal. If you haven’t already, take a look and join the group if you are interested to see further developments. There will be a big update over the weekend as we try to get the living areas ‘movable inable’.
Furniture building. We smiled for the camera, but the rest of the time we were cursing the instruction manuals.
If there is one guarantee in life it is that the mainstream gyms will be buzzing with new members who have promised themselves a healthier start to the year. The new year’s resolutioners. And their journey, hopefully, is a great one. I know lots of people who started a successful journey based on a new year’s resolution. But there are many who don’t have the same success. They give up. This message is for anybody who has just begun their journey and how they can stay on track.
It is common knowledge between Personal Trainers that the gym looks like this every new year…
The January Rush
Especially in the mainstream gyms, it can be difficult to get onto any of the equipment due to the influx of new members mixed with the regulars. The PT can spot the new member immediately. They flit from one machine to the other with little direction. Form, especially in the free weight section, can be erratic. But for the most part the new member will stick to machines.
The PT will begin to plant the seed that you might need their help. They might offer an induction or consultation straight away if they are pushy, but also a good PT will simply just be present to answer questions.
The February Frustrations
Despite January being great for the gym, it is not necessarily the best month for a PT. A new member won’t generally just sign up with a PT they’ve just met. Also, most people think that they can do it by themselves. After all, how difficult can working a treadmill be? But new members can have unrealistic targets and in no way is a treadmill (or any machine) the best place to start. Frustrations arise. They’re not seeing the results they expected.
Their gym visits become less regular unless, and this is where the patient PT reaps the rewards, the member asks for help, tips, advice and a price list.
The March Sleepers
A sleeping membership is a reference to a gym member who pays for a membership but does not attend its services. By march and the dust has settled, according to statists, about 18% of people paying for a gym membership become sleepers. They have lost motivation, got bored, found other interests or just found life getting in the way.
What To Do Before You Get To March!
* Seriously consider a good PT. They’ll stick out a mile. Watch their interactions with their current clients. Approach them for advice. They should give free advice without being too pushy. If they’re too pushy then they’re desperate for custom. If they say that they’re really busy but will try to find a slot for you then they’re lying. There’s always room for a new client. Some trainers also work online with clients without the face to face sessions. This works out cheaper but can be a good option because of my next piece of advice…
* The biggest reason for people quitting the gym is their motivation (or lack of it). A good PT should be able to give you the determination and motivation that you need. Almost every day they should be asking ‘how do you feel today?’ and tracking your workout progress, offering challenges and fun targets. You don’t need to see them in person for them to do that.
* But if employing a PT is still something that you don’t want to do then consider this quote from author Zig Ziglar…”People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing, that’s why we recommend it daily.”
You see, your motivation needs working on daily. Just because you ate the full box of Quality Streets on Christmas day and promised yourself a gym membership doesn’t mean you’ll give a shit come March. After all, there are 18% of gym members who don’t.
Every Sunday I would ask my clients to plan their meals and their gym visits for the week. Have they booked the classes they wish to attend? Do they have packed lunch ideas for work so that they don’t feel the need to stop off at Gregg’s or Maccy D’s?
Any of my clients who were having a tough time of it (everybody does, even professional athletes) I would ask them for their reasons why they came to me. In some way, it was a call for help. But why?
I’ve had just about every reason given to me over the ten years that I worked in mainstream gyms and online. From eating disorders, beating depression or self harm, a charity run and to making the next Olympics. Plus, there were many of my clients who simply wanted to feel better about themselves and feel that they were doing something proactive.
I would ask them to give themselves 5 minutes each morning as they open their eyes to think about these reasons. What would achieving their target for that day mean to them? How does it make them feel? What about not doing it? How does that affect their mood by the end of the day?
This ‘self assessment’ should be done daily. And with it we will find the reason why we do it. I love a workout, but I need my daily motivation too! I need to know my ‘why?’. I have two small children. I want to be healthy enough to see them grow up. I want to be active enough to play football with them and (in later life) my grandkids. My wife and I are starting up a new business in a different country. I need to be mentally strong for the challenges ahead and exercise keeps my focus. I want to look and feel good about myself and when I’m really old I want to be able to get out of a chair unaided. My motivation isn’t about staying alive so much as having a quality of life as I get older.
We will all have our reasons, but it’s remembering them and acting on it daily that will take you past March in the gym.
The past has gone. For all the good bits, the bad bits and all the bits in-between, you cannot change your past.
But what if you could by living the present by one simple rule?
Psychologist Victor Frankl will be able to explicate my introduction with this quote…
“Live as if you were living already for the second time and as if you had acted the first time as wrongly as you are about to act now.”
When I first read this I had to replay it through my head several times to truly understand what Frankl meant by this. My brain chewed through it like a sticky toffee glued to my teeth but eventually I tasted the essence of its flavour. It was sweet.
Frankl is inviting us to understand that the past can still be changed and corrected as long as we acknowledge that the present is the past.
Without knowing of this revelation let alone understanding it, I could not live by this several years ago. A mixture of immaturity, pig headedness and selfishness meant that I am now left with a string of regrets that I wish I could change.
For example, the way I have spoken to a friend or relative that was unkind. I have felt, in moments, that they were trying to hurt my feelings or in some way ruin my day and piss on my parade. My emotions heightened and out of control, I have said things that I know would hurt them too.
I have never made a habit of this but there are moments in my life which stand out in my mind that I wished had never happened.
What if I had acted differently? What if I had considered Frankl’s advice before becoming irrational with someone who I love?
What if, in that moment, I had taken a deep breath, considered my options and chose to act in the right way?
Because, when you strip back the quote, all it means is to think about your actions before doing or saying something you will regret. You can’t go back in time to correct mistakes so take extra care to get it right the first time.
There’s no time machine, but we do actually possess something much more powerful than that. We have the ability to perceive what is right and wrong and control, evaluate and execute our actions. We have a conscience.
Looking back, from a selfish point of view, had I reacted differently in certain situations I would have felt better about myself. Making someone else feel rubbish does nothing for the soul. It can turn you bitter.
Before the past becomes regrettable, make some good choices in the present while you can. Seize that moment to make yourself and others around you feel better. In your head, consider the different outcomes of the actions you’re about to take.
I don’t do new year’s resolutions. I tend to just work with the moment. If I need to lose a few pounds to fit more comfortably in my jeans then I’ll just either lose a few pounds or I’ll buy a bigger pair of jeans. I’ve learnt to be happy in doing either of those.
But seeing as we’ve recently acquired six orange trees in a part of the world that don’t do takeaway meals, that moment it seems, has arrived.
This evening, as I peeled an orange from our tree, I said to Lou that I don’t think I’ve ever eaten so healthily over the Christmas period. Don’t get me wrong, I do try to stick to some sort of a plan for nutritional reasons at any time of year, but the tubs of celebrations and bowls of salted peanuts and crisps always make an appearance. But either these traditional British Christmas snacks don’t exist in Sertá or they are imported at the expense of the consumer. And I’m not prepared to pay over ten euros for a bag of Nobby’s Nuts.
The oranges are free from the garden.
So after some research I’ve found that the trees dotted about the land are called navel orange trees. With no snacks in the cupboard and no obligatory one or two takeaway meals during the Christmas and new year period, I’ve found myself peeling an orange each evening.
Now, it has to be said, I have always hated oranges. The peel would get under my nails. My fingers would be sticky and would smell. It would squirt in my eye as I wrestled with the peel. The pips would get in the way of any sort of enjoyment of eating an orange.
I have peeled so many oranges in my life. My previous work meant that I peeled at least three a day in residential and day care settings. My kids eat oranges and my life got a little easier with ‘easy peelers’. Thank goodness for easy peelers! It didn’t, however, change my mind on oranges. Messy fuckers.
And then I picked a juicy piece of sun from a tree.
The move to rural Portugal was not by accident. Much of our motivation to choose the Castelo Branco region was its lack of fast food restaurants, pubs and bars and traffic. We wanted to take our family where we could try to live a simpler, healthier lifestyle. The temptation of a Greggs pasty is no longer there for me. The local supermarkets are stocked with their traditionally prepared bacalhau and other varieties of sea food and local fresh produce. Yes, they have junk food too. But I’m beginning to overlook it. I’ll wait and pick an orange when I get home.
I have always told my clients that you will always want to eat what you have available to you. If you buy it and take it home, it will be calling you at 10pm willing you to take it from the cupboard and eat it.
It is often said that a fitness goal begins in the kitchen. I would say it begins in the supermarket. You can’t eat something that you don’t buy in.
And it is extremely difficult, I know. Nobby always wanted me to grab his nuts. But I want a fresh start in making better health choices.
My new love affair with the orange is real. You could say it’s tang-erine-able.
A bit of a whirlwind day today. This morning, unexpectedly, we were told that we could have the keys to our new property in Portugal!
The deal is to be finalised by the end of January but the current owners have kindly allowed us to have the keys to be able to begin making it our own.
And there’s no doubt, this will be a long process. We’ve been there today and it’s been tiring, so I’m a bit too knackered now to describe the work we need to do on the property but I did take a few pictures so I can put some bullet points attached to let you get an idea of what will be our home and our new wellbeing centre at Pinheiros Tranquilos.
As you approach the property you are met by sprawling fields. This particular piece of land will be used by us, mainly for the boys to be able to play sports.A part of the property, beyond the field is forests of pine trees which will be ideal for several meditation sites and future glamping projects.Back towards the buildings there are two houses with habitation licences. This enables us to live in one, which is already habitable, and the smaller building which will need renovation to become a rental accommodation.The back of the rental accommodation shows some of the work needed to be carried out. The road nearby is very quiet and is mainly used by visitors to Trizio River beach and agricultural vehicles.The patio area and the largest outbuilding will become the massage treatment room and also there’s potential for a bar and shop as a future project. Seating will be provided and also group exercise sessions can be done from here.The smaller outbuilding is where my personal training equipment will be kept. It is possible to train inside as it will be equipped with weights, bench, pulleys and cables but I also imagine that much of the training will be done outdoors.There are many fruit trees on the property to be picked at your leisure.
We went at around 6pm and it is late December so it doesn’t look as bright and sunny as we have seen it previously! Plus it’s all a bit untidy and overgrown after being left for a couple of months. But the hard work starts now regarding our new home and business. I’ll keep you updated on how we get on, plus our experiences on filming A New Life In The Sun!
I don’t want to bog you down with the diet conversation too much now. I’ve been blogging for over a year and a lot of my earlier content was about different diets, a calorie deficit and weight maintenance and seeing as the science on these subjects hasn’t changed in that time I don’t feel the need to repeat it. You can always look back in my posts to find the relevant reads for you.
But, especially at this time of year, I get lots of people asking me what the best diet is for a new year’s resolution or how to stick to a diet during the Christmas period.
Bearing in mind that I’m now living in a country where their bitoque dishes come with rice and excessive amounts of chips on the same plate (carbtastic!) and the best pastel de natas for a little sobremesa treat, I’m also keen to find that happy foodie head place where I can still meet weight maintenance goals and enjoy my meals.
Enter The 20%
I, like many others that I speak to, will say things like…
“I’ve quit smoking…
I’ve cut down on alcohol…
I’ve got kids/work/family/friends who depend on me and I get stressed…
I don’t need to train for a marathon/Olympics…
I just want to be fitter, healthier, stronger and happier.
Why can’t I just enjoy a freakin’ pizza if I want one?!!”
Well, here’s the thing. We can. We can have pizza, a burger, an extra Yorkshire pud on our Christmas dinner plate. But we need to stick to one rough bit of math. If we can consume 20% of the food and drink that are considered non-nutritional, then for the most of us we will be in a good weight maintenance place. And if the other 80% of the food is full of vitamins, proteins and nutrients, then there’s a good chance of weight reduction.
Let’s take the traditional Christmas lunch as an example. Turkey breast is a protein monster coming in at about 30g in a serving. And the vegetables…sprouts have a great fibre content with 8g per serving. Carrots promote bone health with high calcium and vitamin k content. Red cabbage reduces inflammation. Parsnips are full of vitamin C and can help regulate blood pressure.
Then there’s the potatoes. You can’t have a Christmas dinner without a few roasties. Rich in iron, they can improve digestion. So even if we add the pigs in blankets and Yorkshire pudding, we can safely say that we’re in the 80% zone for highly nutritious food. Leaving us with a good 20% to play with. Heck! We could even add a pate starter and a pudding as long as we keep to sensible portions.
But Christmas time is tricky for other reasons. The actual Christmas dinner is not the problem. The tub of celebrations, the nibbles and the Irish cream, now there’s the problem!
We can, however, still be indulgent. We can eat some chocolates and not the whole tub or have a few alcoholic drinks without drinking the bar dry.
Even on a day of celebration, we should still stick to 20% of non-nutritional drinks. Water, coffee, tea, juice, milk will all be your friend if you plan to have a drink to get tiddly and you’ll be grateful for the 80% of positive fluids by the next morning.
The Bottom Line
Whether it’s the festive period or not, every day you should be thinking about what positive, nutritional food you could have with your next meal. But omitting everything else that you might enjoy is often a counter productive practice, where you just end up resenting the process and being miserable. And sooner or later, you quit the process and start right back at the beginning…anxious with no idea where to turn.
Be mindful about the nutrition that you put into your body, but don’t cut out the other stuff entirely. Think 20%. That 20% might just keep you on track.
I thought I would share with you my week so far. This includes a trip to Coimbra before celebrating my son’s birthday in Sertá.
It’s difficult at the moment to post as often as I did a few months ago, which I hate, but we have had a few things going on and Finlay and Jonas have been with us every step of the way! So I’m writing this on an evening as they’re tucked up in bed and I have a glass of Sagres to chill out with. So here’s the week so far…
Lou and I thought that a bus journey to Coimbra and an overnight stay would be a real treat for the boys as we have promised them that we would travel around Portugal as much as possible to discover the culture (and the shopping centres!)
We regretted not exploring Scarborough and its surroundings as much as we would have liked since moving there in 2018 and we don’t want to make the same mistake again. I blame COVID lockdowns for this, but in the past 12 months ‘Project Portugal’ had also become our focus.
The Rede Express coaches are a good way of getting around Portugal and Spain as it works out cheaper than driving the car due to fuel and tolls. I also don’t fancy the stress of the roads. I’m new to driving on the ‘wrong’ side of the road and I still need to keep reminding myself of which way the oncoming traffic is coming as I approach a junction. Sitting on a coach for an hour and fifteen minutes seemed like a good idea.
Our priority for Lou and I in Coimbra was to find birthday presents for Jonas and Christmas presents. It has a big shopping centre called The Forum. That’s where we headed first. It isn’t the most cultural of experiences that we would have preferred, but needs must. It’s basically a big White Rose Centre and as I say, we needed to find gifts.
Sertá, which is where we currently live and will be buying a house, is beautiful. But it is no ‘shop til you drop’ experience. We needed a big city. We needed glitz and glamour. We needed the bright lights and the buzz. We needed to join the hoards of shoppers looking for a Christmas bargain. We needed Primark.
We did, however, manage an evening at the Coimbra Christmas market. Something that is difficult to comprehend for us is the warm air even during the evening. As we walked around the stalls with our light jumpers or t-shirts, we noticed the locals in their bubble jackets and wooly hats. I mentioned a few times to Lou that it was ‘muggy’ as I patted my sweaty head down, trying not to look too touristy. I failed.
Coimbra was a hoot. We did enjoy dipping our toes into a bigger city. We also liked getting back to Sertá.
So then it was Jonas’ tenth birthday on Wednesday. We were worried that we wouldn’t be able to achieve a ‘special’ day for him as, for the first time on his birthday, he wouldn’t be around his friends in the UK. And, despite our trip to the shops in Coimbra, it was still difficult to do a great gift shop seeing as he was with us. However, a bit of planning months ago back in the UK meant that we had already purchased some gifts for him.
We also went for pizza at his favourite pizza restaurant, R&R, and had cake back at the apartment. Despite everything being a bit different, I think he really enjoyed his day.
There’s been some serious stuff to overcome this week too. Time was running out in getting them a start date for school in January. Lou and I have been getting a little nervous about this as the paperwork and communication between their previous school, North Yorkshire council, the Portuguese authorities and their new school hasn’t been easy. Everything must be translated and, along the way, bits of important information have been getting lost in translation.
But yesterday we received good news. Jonas and Finlay will be starting their new school, Escola Basica Padre Antonio Louranço Farinha, on the 3rd of January. The boys took the news very well. I really hope that, come the day, they are still happy to be going.
They have been constantly with us now for 7 weeks, 9 by the new year, they are in a different country with a new language to learn. I remember going back to school after a holiday. Even worse, starting a new school. I’d feel sick to my stomach the night before. My boys will have to be much braver than I ever was.
But this was always meant to be a part of our journey. To put us in new, challenging situations. To learn and grow as people. The 3rd of January will be yet another challenge for our kids. And it’s a biggy.
So, there we go! I think I’m up to date with this eventful week. Keep checking in for my updates leading up to Christmas!
Never Give Up PT 