empowering – Page 3 – Never Give Up PT

Life After Fortnite

Having already experienced two popped tyres and a mechanical breakdown with our cars in central Portugal, it occurred to me how heavily I relied on the AA in the UK. Sure, there’s breakdown services where I live but in the mountainous countryside of the interior of Portugal it is something that you could be waiting a while for. It isn’t a ‘fourth emergency service’ here.

Seemingly, cars are older than in the uk and in part this is because they are looked after rather well due to just about everyone knowing car maintenance. Everyone is a mechanic, everyone is a farmer, everyone is a builder and everyone can drive a tractor.

So, I need to change. I need to know these things too. And not only for me, but I need to teach my kids.

There’s a reason why the people in our community can do these things and it’s because they have to. They need to know how to fix their cars because of the time and money involved in them not knowing. The nearest garage is miles away and there’s a price to pay if you need a car towed and fixed by someone else. Same with building work and farming. From being youngsters the people in my community have acquired this knowledge through having to do it for themselves.

I learnt to drive at a fairly older age. I was around 30. That’s because a bus would drive along my road every ten minutes to practically anywhere in Leeds that I wanted. Why did I need the cost of a car? A weekly bus pass was about £10 back then! I was also conscious of the amount of cars already on the road. But then I kept moving to more remote areas of the UK. I had to drive.

I began a Building and Construction NVQ when I was 18 in the government’s attempt to get young people gaining practical skills, experience and qualifications in work places. I passed the course but I hated it. Not so much the work, I liked working outdoors, but I didn’t like who I had to work with. I didn’t fit in with the wolf whistling men who would talk mostly about the pictures in The Daily Sport.

And, on a side note, it’s interesting how many men get offended by a rainbow in Pride month and say ‘why do they have to shout about their sexuality?!’ when men have literally been able to intimidate women on the street for decades in their attempts to show how much of a manly heterosexual they are.

Anyway, back to the point!

Since leaving the building trade I haven’t laid a brick. To say that I’m a little rusty would be an understatement! However, just like the locals, I’m now in a situation where I have to wind back the years (25 years to be exact) and do things for myself.

We employed builders to renovate our AL rental accommodation, but we’ve blown the budget on a number of unforeseen expenditures with drainage and a bore hole being the biggest expense. So now it’s down to us!

Lou has a good understanding of building work. From the preparation, materials needed and the technique, she has obviously watched and listened to her dad, who is an expert. So, together we are continuing our project. Learning new things and doing it as a team.

But we won’t miss the opportunity to show our kids how to do it. At 18 I want them to be driving and starting building projects around the property even younger. It’s one of the reasons for the move. So that the kids could learn more about life and the skills required to survive. They’re already learning the Portuguese language at school, so having a second language is a tick in the box. Forest cleaning is another one, something that they will get very used to in order to stay safe from wild fires.

We are still in the early stages, but I think Lou and I are managing to show them that there’s life after Fortnite after all.

Preparing to repair the old wall of the property

Repairing the area that will, for the time being, be my outdoor PT area

Me with the smallest paint roller in the world. (The bigger roller didn’t cover some of the dimples!)

Rat Park

Despite an easier VISA process to live in Portugal from the UK there were many factors why Portugal began to be a very attractive country to live in.

There were hours and hours of research done by my wife and I to discover the cost of living, how good the education system was, we wanted to know more about the crime rates, the policing, the government structure and the tax system. We especially wanted to know what the quality of life could be expected for our young children. What is Portugal like to grow up in and to become young adults?

And yes, Rishi, we wanted to know if National Service existed in Portugal. It doesn’t. That was important to us. You see, my idea of a country expecting their young citizens to serve mandatory time in the armed forces strikes me as a country with a social problem often brought about by a lack of funding to those who need it the most and, crucially, who the wider society depends on. The youth. They are, after all, the ones who will be taking that particular country forward. Therefore we need to create well rounded young people with opportunities to develop.

Yes, the armed forces can get a great opportunity to learn many skills, but only if that person wishes to enrol in the first place.

So, after our conclusion that Portugal, albeit not perfect (which country is?!) gave us good vibes, we decided to move there.

One thing that caught my attention during my research was Portugal’s drug laws. Since 2001, drugs have been decriminalised. This includes cocaine and heroin. It was the first to do so in the EU. So although it is an offence to carry drugs it is not punishable by imprisonment, it does not result in a criminal record or lead to associated stigmas which may affect the ability to find work.

Instead, drug abusers are treated as patients instead of criminals. Those who remain clean from drug use are given incentives to reconnect with society. The government set up job creation schemes and loans for small businesses, directly intended for an individual to focus on getting their lives back on track and away from drug use.

Portugal had one of the highest number of drug related HIV cases in Europe prior to 2000. It has seen a reduction in new HIV cases by 17%.

Portugal’s drug related death toll is 3 people per million compared to the EU average of almost 18 per million people.

The street value of these illicit drugs massively decreased. Courts and prisons became less crowded. The number of adolescents using drugs declined. All because the government at the time decided to invest in tackling the problem.

A series of experiments were conducted in the early 20th century where they would put a rat in a cage with two water bottles. One was water and the other was water laced with heroin. Almost every rat would keep going back to the water laced with heroin where it would eventually overdose and die.

Then came along a professor in psychology, Bruce Alexander who noticed that, if the rat had nothing to do other than choose from these two bottles then maybe it is an unfair experiment. So he set up a Rat Park. As well as the two bottles, he introduced several rats into a cage so that they could play together, have sex and interact. He placed tunnels into the cages, food and climbing frames.

Professor Alexander noticed that the rats hardly ever went to the drugged water. It didn’t interest them. It went from 100% overdose when they were isolated and 0% when they had happy and connected lives.

What if addiction isn’t about our chemical hooks but instead about our cage?

If we can surround ourselves with a supportive network of people, be excited by a safe and happy future, eat well, exercise, laugh, love and play, then surely our cage is worth staying around for. And the need for turning to the drugged water is less attractive.

And I can say with some experience that it is only when I found a purpose to my life did I stop routinely taking cocaine, ecstasy and steroids.

Much like the rats in the Rat Park I found friendship, pathways, exercise and reasons to live. I also found Blair’s New Deal which got me off of my arse to learn a trade. I gained NVQ level 2 qualifications in bricklaying and construction for £50 a week. Not bad at the time.

Maybe if we change our cage, we can all find happiness. And with upcoming elections in the UK looming, its citizens have an opportunity to vote for who will help them find their cage.

Run Your Own Race

When you want to begin a personal fitness journey it is a totally natural thought process to consider what the person next to you is doing.

For the past few months, you might have heard Janice in the office talk about how much weight she’s lost at Slimming World and, naturally, you become intrigued about what recipes she is using and you peek over her shoulder at lunch break to see what’s in her lunch box.

In the gym you notice that the guy who usually trains when you’re there has bulked up a bit and he is filling in his T with some decent looking pecs these days. You’re only on nodding terms so you don’t ask outright how he has managed it, but you keep glancing over to see what he is pushing on the bench press or see what protein shake he’s drinking.

It becomes a slight obsession. I’ve driven myself insane before by observing the Hulk Hogan of the gym bicep curl a couple of 8k dumbbells while I’m trying to squeeze out the 20k’s to look like him and I’ve seen a guy much slender than me deadlift 200k without breaking sweat.

That’s when it doesn’t become my race anymore. And, whilst running this race, in watching how everyone else is running I’m tripping up.

I begin to change my pace and my breathing technique. I’m not looking at my own path, instead I’m trying to keep up with somebody on their path. I am not running my own race.

It was a quote from a football manager that inspired me to write this article. Without boring those who do not follow the English Premier League, I will keep this background story short.

Ange Postecoglou is the manager of Spurs. He was employed by them to at least qualify for the Champions League this season. However, in the penultimate game of the season, a number of Spurs fans wanted to lose a game and celebrated once they had lost. This is because it meant that the winning team, Manchester City, could overtake Spurs’ bitter rival Arsenal to have a greater chance of winning the league, resulting in Arsenal missing out! City ended up as Champions, Arsenal came runners up and Spurs missed out on a Champions League place, meaning that they only qualify for the less attractive Europa League competition.

Postecoglou was pissed off as he saw pockets of supporters in the stadium celebrate their own team conceding goals. And he even eluded to Spurs staff members being desperate enough to see Spurs lose and Arsenal miss out on the title. How far down the chain did it go?! Did the players on the pitch really want to lose also?!

After the game an angry Postecoglou said,”…we have got to worry about ourselves. Don’t worry about anyone else. If you run your own race then when you get to the finish line, have a look around and see where you finish…. don’t be obsessed with what anyone else is doing…you want to stop another club winning the trophy? Then win it yourselves!”

As human beings we can often get distracted by ‘keeping up with the Jones’. With their neatly mowed lawn, new 4×4 that they take their exceptionally behaved children to school in and their exotic holidays that they go on a few times a year.

But maybe we’re not seeing the debts that they’re in, how Mr and Mrs Jones hardly speak to each other and how their son is about to get expelled from school for selling weed to his mates.

But people will rarely let you see that side to them. Do you think that Janice in the office will share her most vulnerable side on Facebook such as moments before a ‘weigh in’ or when she can’t enjoy a meal out with friends because it doesn’t fit in with her ‘points’ for the day?

And the Hulk Hogan of the gym wants to show Instagram his changing room flex after a workout, but he’ll never film himself injecting steroids or standing in front of the mirror feeling ‘bloated’.

My eldest boy, Jonas, is facing exams this year. He is understandably nervous about this but his teachers and my wife and I are telling him not to worry. It’s his first exams in Portugal and it will be in Portuguese. This in itself is a massive thing to overcome but also he didn’t face exams in England. Apart from a spelling test perhaps, this is his first experience of being graded on what he has learnt. His classmates are more advanced. Not only are most of them older, but their first language is Portuguese. He cannot allow himself to be compared to what they might achieve in their exam results. Jonas, simply, has to run his own race.

So ‘running your own race’ isn’t just something to remember when embarking on a fitness journey. It can be a good reminder of how to be in other aspects of our lives too. After all, it’s the difference between a glitzy Tuesday night at the Bernabeu or a drizzly Thursday night in Aberdeen.

There’s Always Time For A Tony Bourdain Quote

Just before I left the UK for Portugal I spoke to many younger people who were intrigued about my move. And come to think about it, these younger people were the ones who asked me why I moved to Scarborough from Leeds.

“Why would you want to leave Leeds for Scarborough?!” They scoffed.

My answer was ‘to live’. By that I mean that ‘to live’ to me means to experience as much as possible out of this relatively short existence. I wanted to wake up by the sea. I wanted my children to go to a smaller school. I wanted to test myself as a PT in a new gym. I wanted to feel the nostalgia of saving up my 2p coins and putting them in the slot machines at the arcades like I did as a kid. I wanted new challenges.

That, to me, is living.

Now, I never expected to live my entire life in the UK, it’s just that the 2016 referendum gave me the kick up the arse to do something about it. I didn’t want to live in a country where people wanted to stand still and, in doing so, not allow others to move where they wanted to either. The Freedom Of Movement is one of the greatest privileges the EU citizens could have.

I didn’t travel when I was younger. But when the younger people at the gym asked me about my move to Portugal I urged them to do the same while they were young. Not necessarily to make a permanent move, but to travel. Discover new cultures, try different foods, learn new languages and skills.

Heck! This isn’t just about younger people either. It’s just in my experience, deciding to live in a different country is a lot more difficult when you have two little kids.

I don’t know how many of my readers are aware of the chef and travel documentary maker Anthony Bourdain. His travel series, Parts Unknown, are available on YouTube. Unfortunately he passed away in 2018 but he has made a lasting impression on me.

I’ll leave you with one of his quotes that has stuck with me.

“If you’re young, physically fit, hungry to learn and be better, I urge you to travel – as far and as wide as possible. Sleep on floors if you have to. Find out how other people live, eat and cook. Learn from them – wherever you go.”

And I have a feeling that, wherever he is, Tony is still travelling somewhere.

Silence Brings Truth

It’s funny. I can look through old photos or the memories pop up on my Facebook feed of my ‘progress pics’.

These usually showed me flexing after a gym sesh. At the time I was a commercial gym personal trainer and it felt important to put myself out there on social media and show everyone my ‘results’.

I can tell you now that I don’t regret any of that. I enjoyed the ‘toilet poses’, something that me, other trainers and clients would do. This is where you have a kick ass workout and then go to the changing rooms, flex, take a pic and put it on social media. After all, golfers want to record their hole in one, an angler wants to show friends their big catch and a boxer is proud of their knockout punch. And so a gym goer should be proud to flex.

But right now I don’t have that need to do it. Sure, my training has been erratic. I keep myself very active and consider myself in good condition at 45. I am currently brush cutting 20,000 square metres of land with a 20k machine attached to my hip. But I haven’t been weight training, so the only time I flex these days is when I’m replicating the Bruce Willis scene in Friends. Basically, just after a shower in my bedroom I start acting like Hulk Hogan in front of the mirror. My friends on social media don’t need to see that!

I read a quote recently that resonated. It read,”Noise creates illusions, silence brings truth.”

I don’t feel like I need to showcase my body anymore. I don’t need to show you my personal best bench press.

I’m happy for the noise to be coming from the new PT’s who feel they have something to prove and who want to create something on social media. This ‘illusion’, I believe, is still important in commercial gyms. People buy into it. The buff, popular trainer who flexes on social media will always have clients in that moment.

But now I prefer to work in silence. And the truth is that I feel more of a complete person now than I ever have done. I have nothing to prove to anyone.

Maybe it’s an age thing, or perhaps I’ve reached a certain time in my life where I just don’t give a fuck. But I just don’t feel like anybody needs to see me flex my lats during a pull down. I’d much rather post the beautiful carpet of purple foxgloves in the garden.

Training remains my life. In fact, as I’ve said many times in my articles, training saved my life. Before I started at a gym, I was depressed and without a cause. The gym gave me a focus and I loved it. Still do. But now it’s different. In a way you need to earn your badges in a commercial gym before you find your true path as a trainer. Well now I’ve found mine. The journey was noisy, but now I’m enjoying the silence.

The Sum Of The Parts

It is the age old question in the gym in regards to what is the best type of training for weight management or, as is commonly known as, fat loss.

“Should I use weights?”

“Do I join a high intensity class or go on treadmills?”

“Is it high reps or low reps?”

These sorts of questions are the most frequently asked to a Personal Trainer in a commercial gym.

The correct answer, of course, is never that simple. Every individual is different, yes, but generally all of the above are perfectly fine ways to manage weight for the average adult.

To elaborate on these answers I could also suggest going for long, frequent walks, preparing your meals and counting calories for a short period of time or taking the stairs instead of the elevator. (That last suggestion isn’t meant to sound flippant or facetious. It is my attempt to encourage a more active outlook in one’s daily routine and we often miss these opportunities in order to get somewhere quicker or for convenience.)

So when we break it all down into these different training techniques, ways of moving and positive lifestyle changes we get the bigger picture. One which promotes weight management. And as long as these can be incorporated there will be success in one’s fitness journey.

But it all starts with a spark or a thought that leads us onto actually adopting these positive things into our lives. And if you have read this article up to now, I am assuming that you have already begun the thought process.

Indian philanthropist and businessman Pankaj Patel once said,”It is the sum of the parts that make up the whole. So excellence comes from how one undertakes to do something. It all begins with the thought process which is creative and exalted to produce something out of the ordinary.”

To make up the whole, it is said, you need all the little components to complete it. The thought process, or the planning, is a vital component.

In regards to a weight management journey, the whole needs planning, but this planning must include all the factors that I have spoken about. Frequent walks are just as important as making It into the gym. Why? Because it is an important part of the sum that creates the whole. Many people have found their motivation, inspiration, their plans, their passions and indeed themselves on a long walk. It cannot be underestimated. It’s also a great exercise.

There are no magical processes that can guarantee weight management (whatever you want to manage it to be). But there are a number of methods that, when put together, can give you the best opportunities. Many of them I’ve listed above.

I will often give my clients a little bit of homework. I ask them to write down four or five ways in which they can achieve their realistic body weight target. And when they have actually thought about it, they come back to me with the answers I have listed above. This is because we are not reinventing the wheel here, as many influencers would have you believe, we are simply adding simple methods to your life and tweaking things that need a bit of change.

It is the sum of the parts that you already have at your disposal. And when you use them correctly, you begin to have access to the whole.

Shay is a personal trainer, CBT therapist, meditation guide and owner of Pinheiros Tranquilos Bem Estar in central Portugal.

Clear The Cache

After some problems in getting our Fire stick to work on the TV, I found that I could clear the cache of each application and it worked much faster.

Cache. What exactly is it?!

Well, in computing terms, it is a temporary data storage location that automatically stores data to reduce retrieval time.

And there I found a connection. Not only could it be used in computing terms, but in my own head.

You see, the data that is stored is not necessarily all useful information. Just like on my Fire stick, it can cause broken links and a lack of proper formatting, causing my browsing and viewing experience to be slow and glitchy.

Over the past few weeks my head has been gathering a lot of data, similar to the fire stick, and it needed a clear out.

This brain cache will be back, I’m sure, but without regular clear outs it will become more difficult to function and keep a focussed mind. I will become glitchy.

Do you feel that you need to clear the cache sometimes? What do you do as your preferred method?

Clearing the brain cache is not a one size fits all answer. My suggestions are to go on a long walk, go to the gym, talk to a friend or partner, sleep or in my case this morning I meditated.

There was no filming today. I had answered all of the builders questions. I took the kids to school. It was raining heavily therefore working on the land was out of the question. So I took two hours away from everything and I meditated.

Sure, I could have found something to do. But that would have been my useless cache data telling me to descale the toilet or iron my undies. No, I thought, I need some time to clear my head.

Today has gone a little smoother. Or, at least, dealt with much better now that I am thinking clearer, so it seems to have worked.

Let me know how you like to clear your brain cache. There are no wrong answers. Just the right ones that work for you.

Until next time, my friends.

Lights, Camera, Action!

It’s funny creating a well-being centre. At the moment I don’t have the feeling of ‘being well’ at all! With the budget getting a beating everyday, which requires Lou and I having emergency budget meetings as our evening entertainment, we have certainly entered a critical stage of development.

And yesterday was a 12 hour day of filming too. Although the camera was not rolling continuously, anything that I said to the camera man that could make good telly made him grab his camera as he asked me to say it again for the camera. But, in fairness, it’s a fantastic experience to be filmed for one of the most watched programmes in our house. And Zak, the camera man, has been brilliant with the kids.

Finlay had the opportunity to hold the camera and film me strimming some of the land. I’m not sure what would’ve looked more odd to any passers by. A man strimming 2000 square meters of overgrown land with a battery operated strimmer that lasts for half an hour before needing recharging or a 7 year old filming it with a 7kg professional camera on his shoulder. Probably both.

But for anybody that points out that I need a bigger strimmer I quickly remind them of our emergency budget meetings! So the battery operated one will do for now. Plus it makes good telly.

Things are progressing well. Even the geckos have been interested in how things are going. If we continue at this pace then we will have a guest house to rent out for the beginning of summer. The out building work will begin after but this will be a much smaller project with, we hope, an income to plug the holes in the leaky finances. So we might have a little more breathing space by then.

A gecko looks on from the window shutter.

In the meantime Zak, or indeed Finlay, will continue to film the ups and downs of our creation. All being well.

Progress Pictures

In my line of work, a progress picture has always meant stripping down to your undies and taking a photo of yourself every month or so in order to see the progress you are making in your fitness goals.

Whether this be a bulk, a cut, muscle build or fitting into a certain outfit, I find that progress pictures can be a much better way of evidencing your efforts than the weighing scales or fat calipers.

But I have a progress picture of a different sort at the moment and it is a building. The essence of the progress picture theory remains the same in my eyes though, and that is that whilst it is good to keep a check on your work, you must always remember the end goal. You might be unimpressed for some time, but if you trust the process then the outcome will be pleasing to you.

So, what is the process? I have a realistic plan in place that I can stick to with timelines and budgets. I involve professionals where necessary. I understand that the outcome of the process will make me very happy instead of being extremely unhappy in a previous life. This happiness means a better life for me and my family. That becomes my daily motivation. When things don’t go to plan or I’m not happy with a progress picture then I can rationalize with this. It is for the greater good and I continue to trust the process that has been laid out by myself and the professionals.

So, whether it’s a fitness plan or building a rental property, there are parallel lines that can be drawn. Either way, determination, tears, asking for help and documenting the progress all seem to be good ingredients.

I’ll leave you with a few progress pics of my own and keep you updated. For now friends, have a great day.

A bit of a clear out needed in the bottom room.

After a day with the builders, the areas are emptied and the interior walls knocked down.

The roof and door will be raised and a new first floor will be created.

A picture of what will be some lovely double doors leading onto the courtyard from the bedroom suite (right) the small door will be filled to create the bathroom area.

Thoughts On Today…

A weird day today. The rain has not stopped here in Sertá so our plans on painting our house and doing out-doorsy type stuff were postponed. And we don’t have internet at the house yet either, so I’ve been starved of the BBC football news feed all day. And the rotten luck is that when I did get a moment with the WIFI thingy in a cafe the footy headline was that Thiago was injured. That’s not news. Him being available for the weekend would be news.

Anyway, we drove to a cafe not for me to faff on with the BBC Sports page but to get reception to have a phone call with a producer from A New Life In The Sun.

We heard yesterday that our builder is ready to begin work on the second house (to be turned into a holiday rental) on Monday. This was music to ours, the bank manager’s and the production team of A New Life In The Sun’s ears. After all, we need an income, our bank manager is concerned about our dwindling finances and A New Life are wanting to begin filming the mugs who are about to have a breakdown on TV. Everyone wins.

The producer told us that they would send a camera team next Saturday. Exciting stuff! Let’s hope the weather improves. A New Life In The Pissing Rain doesn’t have the same ring to it.

The kids have been great again. They’re coping really well with so many changes. Finlay keeps getting letters with love hearts on them from a girl in his class. He has no idea what she is saying to him, but it’s sweet.

We bought a raclette today. It’s our only cooking device at the moment so I had a square egg sandwich. I’m sure there are many things that can be cooked on a raclette, but if you add ketchup and a slice of cheese to the bread bun and egg you get an egg mcmuffin. We’ll become cultured another day.

Lou and I are playing Solitaire this evening. We will eventually erect a darts board in the courtyard when the rain stops as that is a game we love to play. But for now I’ll have to keep beating her at cards and Scrabble (I hope she doesn’t read my blogs).

But for now, I’ll say ta’ra and spend the rest of the evening saying ‘erect’ over and over in Maranda Hart’s voice.

“Erect.”