Tag Archives: depression

Why I Had To Become A Meditation Tutor

Maybe I was meditating as a kid when I didn’t even realise what it was. Did you ever get a telling off from your teacher for gazing out of the class window instead of paying attention to the lesson? Perhaps, in some way, me drifting away from the noise and busyness of the class room during mathematics to focus on cloud formations was my first experience with meditation.

To meditate, you don’t need to sit a certain way or to think about anything in particular. You don’t need to be spiritual and you don’t need to repeat ‘ommm’ if you don’t want to. Adults tell children to stop day dreaming, but maybe that is just their brains trying to get a time out. I think we all need to day dream a little bit.

My practical exam was to guide my wife’s meditation

My first official experience with meditation was about 7 years ago. My wife had postnatal depression after giving birth to our second child and her doctor prescribed medication. But this wasn’t a route that she wanted to take. There must be an alternative to tablets.

We got in touch with a local meditation tutor who did guides on a 1-1 basis. My wife started to attend the meditation guides for one hour a week. She also began practicing on her own and this is when I would join her. This later led me to attending guided meditation too. I was hooked.

The misconception of meditation is that it is an opportunity to clear your head. Yet it is quite the opposite. You fill it will good stuff. Positive thoughts, visualization of a particular journey or of your dreams, ambitions and goals. It is true it is a chance to declutter your head, but it will be replaced with something much more worthy of your thoughts.

As I gazed out of the class room window looking at the clouds as a kid, I was creating shapes with these clouds of me scoring a goal or getting a hug from my mum. Wouldn’t anybody, at any age, want to have a moment of a much more innocent time? That didn’t seem like a waste of time to me then and it doesn’t seem like a waste of time to me now.

We all have goals that we want to achieve in life, but to get through the difficult moments or the sticky patches how are we to actually get them? Do we ever stop to think about a pathway to achieving them? As I say, that’s not to say that you have to sit and chant or be a Buddhist to do it. Having 10 minutes to focus on your breathing and taking charge of your energy each day should be a minimum requirement in achieving your goals.

If I am to assist my Personal Training clients in getting their goals then a part of that process must be for me to enable them to accept themselves as who they currently are. There are lots of ways to do this but by far the easiest way to self discovery is through meditation. That is why I felt so strongly about becoming a meditation tutor. How can we tell the body what to do if our minds are constantly on high alert?

So maybe you should be gazing into space sometimes and having a little daydream. Put the breaks on. Take a few deep breaths. Ground yourself. That maths equation will still be there when you have finished but it might be a bit easier to solve.

Goal Setting

https://mindist.page.link/EDHu

Above is a link to my recently recorded meditation guide I entitled Goal Setting.

We get so fixated on the goal sometimes instead of the little challenges that we overcome to have to reach the big stuff. Those little steps, the 1%, amounts to great things if you perceiver and confidently follow the process.

Every day there should be a time to reflect on your goals and expect that some days won’t always be the best. But as long as you acknowledge them and move on then you will still get to where you want to be.

Thank you for reading and listening!

Shay PT

Our Comfort Zone

Ah, the comfort zone. Has anybody told you to get out of your comfort zone? It’s been said to me many times, usually back in my 20’s some vgdguvidrdddyuhd years ago.

But what is it? And how do you know how to get out of it if you don’t know what it is?!

Your comfort zone is unique to you. Your comfort zone will be an absolute terrible experience to some people. And therefore being out of your comfort zone is a unique experience that belongs to you too.

I can guarantee that there are people in the UK right now who have to get out of their comfort zone by getting out of bed, leaving the house or having to talk to another human being. Perhaps you are one of these people and this resonates with you. You are not alone.

According to a study by mentalhealth.org.uk in 2014 almost 20% of over 16 year olds were showing symptoms of anxiety or depression. With the difficulties many of us have faced in the past couple of years I can’t imagine this statistic improving.

So then, for our mental and physical fitness, to get out of our comfort zone means something very different to each person that I speak to. To some it is lifting a certain weight that they have never lifted before. To others it is running a distance that they haven’t been able to reach before. Or it could be training for an important event that they’ve never competed in before. Maybe it’s taking that first step into the gym or fitness class. But simply buying some trainers or walking boots and taking a walk each day is a massive positive step too.

Walking is just as much of a mood booster as a set of deadlifts. I enjoy both. I enjoy the feeling that I get once it is completed. During physical activities can be tough and testing of course, but I enjoy the rhythm of the repetition of resistance training. When I walk I enjoy gathering my thoughts or sharing ideas with a walking partner. It is therapy.

When I think of the current clutter in my head that is all of the stuff that requires being out of my comfort zone I think of starting my new YouTube channel. Social media can be brutal. But I’m doing it for my next out of my comfort zone challenge, which is becoming a meditation guide. If people don’t know that I exist then I’ll never coach or guide anybody. So I have to be brave in trying something that is very different for me.

And my other fear is ringing my bank to ask why the Sky direct debit has been cancelled. Really, the thought of speaking to my bank sends me into a panic! I can teach a class of 30 people and pretend to be Freddie Mercury in front of a hundred holiday makers in Lanzarote (I might have had a few drinks for that one) but the thought of having to speak to my bank on the phone sends me in a right tizz.

They will ask me for my password. I don’t know what it is! They need my date of birth. I always get tongue tied with that? They’ll need information from me that I know but when they ask me I’ll have no idea at all! My wife keeps on top of all of this stuff, but the Sky payments are in my name.

I know it’ll sound ridiculous to some people, but it’ll strike a chord with others. I’m not the only one who hates official phone calls with strangers.

And that’s why we are all different. I’m nervous about going into the gym every day, yet I’m a PT! How can that be?! I mix it up with a bit of being the Joker and being professional (I’m confident that I know my job, which helps) but it doesn’t stop me from getting butterflies sometimes. The adrenaline keeps me passionate. Maybe it’s when I stop getting nervous that I should be worried.

The final word…

Our comfort zone is one to break free of now and again but only when the time is right for you. And once you are out of it, then it is for you to decide how far you can go. But if you get the small stuff right to begin with it can lead to bigger things. Give it a go. As for me, my little step is to ring my bloody bank this afternoon. Wish me luck!

https://youtube.com/channel/UC_2ukEG1FHIgU2rJEOOYCJA

If you can’t fly…

I’m sorry that I’ve been a little absent from my blogs recently. In all honesty, the last few days have felt a bit hectic. Not an unhappy, miserable sort of hectic. But not a dancing round in the sitting room in my undies listening to Harry Styles kind of hectic either (not that I’ve ever,ever,ever done that. Ever.)

It’s just seemed a 100 miles an hour over the past few days and I’m trying to spin the many plates that I’ve given myself.

I enjoy plate spinning when the plates aren’t crashing. In my circus I would be a decent plate spinner. Some days I’d even be bold enough to unicycle on the tight rope a hundred feet high and still spin the plates. But in the past few days, had the Ringmaster introduced me to the audience I would’ve tripped over my large clown shoes before getting to the stage. Of course, I would’ve gotten straight to my feet, smiled and tooted my big red nose and made the crowd laugh. That’s what I do.

Feeling under the weather on Sunday hasn’t helped where my head is now. I like to keep on top of things and my work doesn’t allow for illness. I stay strong and in control. But it isn’t a weakness to feel ill. It’s just that it rarely happens to me so when it does I feel a bit discombobulated.

My work not only helps me to understand others, but it helps me to understand myself too. When my trainees feel a bit out of sorts I totally get it. I’m not into the ‘no pain, no gain’ attitude to exercise. Sometimes just putting your training shoes on and doing what you can is massive. We’re not always on top of our game. It doesn’t need any great explanation or reasoning. It’s just how it is. Each day we wake up and try again.

It reminds me of a quote by Martin Luther King. He said…

“If you can’t fly then run. If you can’t run then walk. If you can’t walk then crawl. But whatever you do, you have to keep moving.”

You can’t be flying all of the time and when you realize this you can then be pleased with the little steps that you are able to do. When you are ready, you will take off again. Never give up.

My YouTube channel is here if you want to take a look!

https://youtube.com/channel/UC_2ukEG1FHIgU2rJEOOYCJA

Body Image Affirmation

https://mindist.page.link/tx8j

I didn’t become a PT to make people feel inadequate in how they look. If you are unaccepting of your body now, no changes that you make to your body will make you any happier. The above link is a ten minute guide on body image affirmation.

I’m going to be creating more meditation guides in the future and I will, of course, be basing them on subjects that are close to me. Enjoy!

Speak soon!

Father’s Day

Father’s Day and the whole of the weekend was a nutritional disaster. Well, actually it wasn’t. I bloody loved my low value nutritional feast! What’s disastrous about that? But here’s why I allowed such a diet and why I can look back at a great weekend guilt free…

On Saturday (the day before Father’s Day) I met up with my dad with my family and his friends in a beer garden at Cayton Bay. Firstly I was happy to drive. A few hours drinking in the sun doesn’t appeal to me like it did once upon a time. I have kids, I have an online business that can require my attention at any time and I’m a tight Yorkshireman. Pints were £1.50 the last time I had any interest in drinking all day in a pub beer garden. So me not drinking didn’t have anything to do with my diet which requires me to be in a calorie deficit. I made up with it with the BBQ that the pub had provided.

On the Sunday we travelled to see my in laws. Graham’s famous paella was on offer plus burgers and chips. It was on offer so, of course, I ate it. Over the two days here’s what I had to eat in total…

* 6 scrambled eggs with two slices of tiger bread

* 4 cheese burgers

* 1 wild boar hot dog

* beef curry and fried rice takeaway

* 4 portions of chips

* Seafood salad

* 1 family sized bar of chocolate

* half box of Pringles

My protein is actually quite high from the weekend, but so are my calories! And I don’t care.

There are occasions in the year that we need to give ourselves a break. I’m dedicated to my goals but, because I’m dedicated, I don’t allow my goals to become a chain around my neck. I make sure that I don’t resent my goals or the process. I’m not an athlete. Yes, I’m a Personal Trainer but I’m also a regular person that wants to enjoy family holidays, Christmas, anniversaries and family gatherings. I’m not a footballer going to bed early on Christmas night because of the early kick off on Boxing Day. Pay me a Premier League wage and I’ll do it!

But I am mentally prepared for what these ‘breaks’ within my goals will require. It means that today, the day after my indulgence, I have to become disciplined again. By the end of the week any added calories from the weekend will be balanced out with structure and commitment. I can still enjoy these moments with my family and bring my nutrition, macros and calories back in line without anxiety.

I chose to binge and over indulge at the weekend. I now choose to track calories and my nutrition. I choose to train hard this week and at least make use of all the energy that I put into my body! It is all my choice. Not once did I feel out of control.

I work with some people who are trying to find that balance. One high calorie and low nutrition day can create their eating habits to spiral. One day leads to another. And another. They become frustrated and angry with themselves and they feel like giving in.

But I need to tell them and anyone who will listen that they don’t have to! One, two bad days. Jeez even a week of poor choices doesn’t ruin their hard work. What they do with their next week might and the week after that perhaps. Because that is where habits begin to form. But a few days? No. Not if they remain in control.

We can choose the high calorie and low nutrition foods if we know that we won’t be anxious about it. Enjoy it and move on. But it’s the moving on that is the vital component. We need to move on from poor food choices.

I felt great this morning. I had a lovely weekend celebrating Father’s Day. I ate what I wanted with no regrets and I was ready to focus once again. In many ways I think I needed that weekend. I needed to break the monotony of my structure. As much as I enjoy my structure, I like burgers and Chinese takeaway too!

And Here’s The Icing On The Cake…

The saying “You can’t outrun a bad diet” is true.  Because eventually your poor choices will catch up with you and running will become harder anyway. But if you have structure with your meals and in your workouts then you can outrun a poor day, weekend or holiday. And then the only reason it would be poor is if you didn’t enjoy it and you became anxious about the calorie density of each choice. It would only be poor if you allowed yourself to form negative habits around food.

I enjoy food. All food. But I remain in control and look forward to another occasion where I can over indulge again. But until then, I choose to be in control of my diet and enjoy the process and its results.

Thank you for taking the time to read this article. See you soon!

Becoming Process Focussed, Not Outcome Focussed

I want to share with you the difference between a Process Focussed attitude and an Outcome Focussed attitude. Because when you can give yourself a little tap on the shoulder and remind yourself of the process then the outcome will eventually happen. I promise.

It All Needs A Process

I am so, so good at this in the gym with myself and my clients. I focus entirely on the process. That is my job. It’s what I am trained and disciplined in. But outside of the gym I have goals that I want now…right this second! And in frustration of not being able to get them right now means that the process gets crumpled up and torn like a handy pocket road map that has been stomped on during my tantrums. Had I kept a level head, the road map would still be intact and it would be easier to follow. The tap on the shoulder from myself, a professional, a partner or a friend can work wonders in working out the process for anything. A career move, a life skill, family life and health and fitness goals. It all needs a process.

Sometimes we just see a 10k run, a dress size, a one rep max or a weight loss target. The finer details of how we are getting there is the real key.

In football, the skill isn’t knowing that you need to score more goals than the opposition, it is how you’re going to do it. You can give any sporting example of this and it remains the same. The process needs to be the focus. The outcome harbours great rewards, but without the process you won’t get there.

Frustrations Of The Outcome Focus

So I’m not getting on my high horse here and telling you that I do everything perfectly and you need to step up. You might be able to help me find my process in other aspects of life with your skills. But I’m here to talk about fitness goals. And I’ve been prompted to give it a mention because the gym is full of outcome focussed people. They press, lift, run and jump without any attention to their process. They just want the results. And this can lead to frustration and in many cases injury.

And when you figure out a process for one thing, other parts of your life can begin to take shape too. Have you ever experienced getting a promotion in your career and found that your relationships in your private life improved? You have followed a process and met deadlines, hit targets, gave your colleagues morale boosts or took them under your wing and you got rewarded in your promotion. This made you feel good in other aspects of your life too.

It’s the same in your fitness goals. Once you begin a process in your fitness goals then you begin to focus on your day to day tasks that make up the little wins. And it’s not just about doing this in a gym. Imagine going for a walk with a friend or a partner away from the daily grind. Here you can discuss your ambitions, your feelings or put the world to rights. You feel great and you’ve managed a few thousand steps as well. Make this a regular exercise and you have started the process for your mental and physical health.

Becoming process focussed takes away the big issue that seems, at times, unobtainable…the outcome. To grow muscle you can’t just lift heavy stuff a lot. To lose weight healthily you can’t just eat less. To get a job promotion you can’t just turn up to an interview. To make a relationship work you can’t just add them as a Facebook friend. You need to work hard at a process that works to get the things that you want.

Small Victories Are Important

Focussing on the outcome will keep us bitter and when we have no way of getting there we give up. In my Coaching App it’s exactly what I do for hundreds of people. I’m the tap on the shoulder that reminds them of the process and enables people to reach their goals without even realising. That’s because they have enjoyed a journey that took them way beyond the anxieties of ‘ needing to lose a couple of stone’. They did that, but also found that they were in control of their life much more than when they had no direction. It became a foundation for their success. Focus and celebrate the small victories. It’s those that become the big ones.

Thank you for reading my article. If you need further advice on where to begin with your fitness process then do get in touch. I might be able to help.

5 Minutes

We aren’t going to go through life faultless. If I could give my younger self any advice it would be this. We make mistakes, but the biggest mistake of all would be not to use that lesson and improve on what we have learned from it.

I missed so many opportunities to learn.

Being guided by experience shouldn’t be a case of dwelling on your past though. Looking back for too long can give you neck ache. And although looking to the future can be helpful, trying to plan your next 10 years can often be a hindrance too.

Sometimes, just knowing what you are going to do in the next 5 minutes is enough. A positive 5 minutes can lead to another positive 5 minutes, and so on.

Just seeing the end game doesn’t allow us to create a strategy on how to get there. The next 5 minutes is your pawn. The right moves along the way allow us to make check mate.

No matter who you believe to be your enemy aren’t really the ones holding you back. You are your own opponent. You are the only person who is capable of defeating yourself.

And yet within just 5 minutes you can draw on your experiences to create a better, clearer outlook. Not perfect. Never perfect. But clearer.

You don’t have to be perfect. Trying to be perfect is boring. Actually being perfect, well, I’ve never ever known such a thing. But that sounds pretty boring too.

We need these imperfections to challenge us and grow as we experience the many different aspects of life that will undoubtedly provide moments of difficulty.

So, your next 5 minutes can be a positive experience or a negative experience.

It’s your move.

The Dose Makes The Poison

You might have heard the term, “It is the dose that makes the poison” before. It is referencing the basic principles of toxicology and is credited to Swiss Physician, Paracelsus.

This is a term that springs to my mind when I am choosing my own meals, helping my children with their dietary needs and supporting my clients with their eating habits. I am thinking about the ingredients found in these foods that are known to have a detrimental effect on our health.

From just 5 minutes research, here are some of the ingredients that I found to be the leading protagonists in the ‘bad for you’ foods…

* Monosodium Glutamate (MSG)

MSG is found in fast foods, takeaways, snacks, canned and processed foods. This additive is said to enhance and preserve the flavour of savoury food.

* High Fructose Corn Syrup

Found in sweets, breakfast cereals and juice, this is a sweetener made from corn and is used to replace sugar.

* Artificial Sweeteners

Another sugar replacement to heighten the sweetness of a food whilst keeping the calorie content low.

* Carrageenan

Derived from red seaweed, this is used in many vegan foods as a thickener and preservative. Along with dairy free products it is also found in cottege cheese, ice cream and coffee creamers.

* Trans Fats

A trans fat is an unsaturated fat that is hydrogenated to keep the shelf life of products such as biscuits, baked goods and margarine.

All of the above have very similar health risks associated with them according to research. Weight gain, headache, heart desease, cancer, inflammation of the cells and diabetes. So, does this mean that we avoid them at all costs? Do we start throwing out the ginger nuts and the box of frosties in a state of panic? No. Not if you enjoy them.

So here’s the thing. Unless you are on a totally ‘clean’ diet then I can guarantee that you have put at least one of these ingredients inside of your body today. And by clean I mean plucked that sucker out of the ground yourself or you’ve raised and slaughtered your own chicken. Other than that, when you enter the food industry for your meals, you will consume trans fats, preservatives, sugar or it’s alternatives in your food. The food industry is massive. The sugar industry alone is worth a 100 billion US dollars. This has been hit with the word getting out that sugar might actually be bad for us, so as to not lose out they develope alternative sweeteners as stated on the list above. Either way, the manufacturers will make sure that they don’t miss out.

In the UK, the found and drink industry is the largest manufacturing sector contributing £30 billion to the economy annually and rising year upon year. Despite the nation’s health problems relating to our diets it will not stop them from creating this kind of economical growth. If it sells, they will make it.

But let’s take this discussion back to real life. Life in our daily lives and our homes. You are not overweight because you eat crisps. You will not get diabetes from the can of coke. You will not die of heart desease or get cancer from eating a takeaway.

What will cause ill health is the amount of crisps, cans of coke and takeaways that you have. The dose, as Paracelsus stated, makes the poison.

The reason that we keep going back to these foods is because it triggers something in our brain that makes us feel better while we eat it. Perhaps sometimes we feel guilty for over eating these foods afterwards but that instant hit whilst we are eating it overides any negative outcomes. Depression, low self esteem and failure kicks in as you feel the disappointment that, in some way, you’ve let yourself down.

But you don’t have to. You don’t have to stop eating what you enjoy and you don’t have to go through the pain of feeling anxious about food or the guilt that comes with eating it. Not if you begin each day with the mantra ‘The dose makes the poison.’ No food or drink is bad for you. The amount of it that you eat and drink can be.

I am currently helping many people become confident about their eating habits on my fitness platform. Please get in touch for any enquiries and remember…

It is the dose that makes the poison. You are in total control of that dose.

About My Online PT Challenges

Kudos to the Personal Trainers out there that had to change their entire business plans and jump on the Online PT idea when the first lockdown hit in 2020.

I’m late to the party and, as always, I’m going to be totally honest as to why I was late…and explain why I have no regrets.

When the gyms closed due to the first lockdown, PT’s had to make a decision if they wanted to remain in the profession. They could continue via zoom video calls, use a fitness platform or freeze their clients payments until they could see see their clients in person again.

I didn’t want to do zoom and here is my brutal honesty. I saw lots of videos online of PT’s doing exercise routines and the links weren’t great, the sound was unclear and they looked uncomfortable, which was understandable, they wanted to keep earning money and had to leave their comfort zone. I didn’t do it because my house is where I was home schooling and entertaining the kids and there was somebody doing it better than anybody for free on YouTube. Joe Wicks smashed it during the first lockdown.

I had a fitness app long before the first lockdown, but I was never happy or confident with it. I’m not great with technology, but it felt clunky and bland to me. It would’ve been a poor replacement for my 1-1 clients had I put them on the app.

So I decided to freeze their payments and wait until we were able to meet in a park or on the beach. I stayed in touch through regular messages and phone calls if necessary, but I took no payments until I could meet them in person again. There were times where my wife and I worried as our savings dwindled down, but we didn’t really care about that. Our children needed us to guide them through the craziest of times and we needed to keep our heads in the game too if we were to succeed in giving them a positive experience. So I have no regrets about my decision.

Rather than rushing into becoming an online coach I dipped my toe into the world of technology and try out a few different fitness platforms on trial periods over the course of a few months. I knew that, to develop my business and be able to reach out to more people I had to go online. My previous gym that I trained at, based in the centre of Leeds, had 6,000 members. But when we moved to Scarborough the biggest gym had 2,500 members which is where I began training. It has been clear for some time that my reach had to be much greater and I love training people! I want a hundred happy people training with me at affordable prices rather than just a few who can afford it. I needed to give the masses a challenge!

I have currently got a number of challenges set on my fitness app that are being enjoyed by my clients. My newest one, which I have developed this month, is one that I know all about from my own experience. I’ve called it the 60 Day Dad Challenge.

I understand that having residence in a gym might give me an advantage in enabling me to work out and ‘keep fit’. After all, I’m not booked solid with back to back appointments. I have gaps in which to train myself. Most people don’t have that luxury. This is why I can develop any type of workout for any particular goals. This can be done at home, in an office or at the park and time needn’t be an issue. A workout can last just 20 minutes a day if it is designed and executed correctly.

Our lives don’t suddenly get any easier or slow down and when we become parents our one year old learning to walk is suddenly scoring top bins in his under 8’s football team. Where did that time go? It’s easy to forget that you have your own life too. I became daddy. I wasn’t a PT at the time and my own fitness was the last thing on my mind. I just wanted a decent nights sleep and, to make our lives easier, a takeaway for tea. I had always been active. From being a teenager I would regularly go to the gym. My physique and mental health massively improved because of it. But becoming a dad at 34 made me forget about myself and my own needs. It was fine for the most part. Hearing their first laugh and just cherishing their every move makes up for any sacrifices we make as parents.

But, for me, there was a moment of panic. My jeans started to not fit so well. I hated passing a mirror and if I did I’d breathe in. Getting up and down the stairs seemed a little tougher. My worry was that, if this is me now when my kids are toddlers, what will my fitness be like when they start school, become teenagers or become adults? It started to get me down.

I guess it scared me so much that it prompted me to not only get to the gym but become a Personal Trainer too! Obviously not all dads will take my path, but I designed a 60 day challenge so they don’t have to. He can work hard, give his love and support to his partner and children and feel great about himself without it having to take over his life. Dads can have support too. Dads can look good. Dads don’t have to worry about playing football in the park with their kids. Dads can be fitter and stronger than they were before they were dads, not just from when they were knackered being up half the night with baby.

I enjoy meeting my clients face to face, but I have come to love my online work equally. I still see their results. We can celebrate the wins and tweak the bits that need to change just the same as working with them 1-1.

Let the new challenge commence!