It’s been really difficult in the past to get Finlay to try new foods and will usually stick to what he knows and likes, mostly cheddar cheese and milk!
However, we had a breakthrough moment tonight as he tried a snail! In fact he ended up having two and then spat a third one out because it was a bit grainy.
I don’t think we’ll be adding them to the shopping list again though, but at least he attempted something new.
Finlay, my 7 year old son, is currently enjoying Charlie And The Great Glass Elevator by Roald Dahl. I like that he is now at an age where he can read the books of Roald Dahl as it brings back so many memories for myself as I was also an avid reader of his work as a child.
This particular book, in true Dahl fashion, has the chapter about a pill invented by Wonka that makes you look younger. The Wonka-Vite. Finlay read the chapter with me and announced, “You need one of these pills daddy.”
Oh how brutally honest children can be! “Yes, sometimes I feel like I could do with a Wonka-Vite.” I replied.
It is concerning, however, when manufacturers, advertisers and the media are as brutal as a child when they try to flog their pills and potions. I’m sure that they want us to feel old and fat and insecure because insecure people are often willing to spend money on finding a cure for their insecurities. Almost daily I see an advert or link to a site that sells weight loss tablets.
And these little gadgets in our hands are now the conduit which connects these companies straight to us. These ads know who we are, what we look like, what we search for and what we want. They’re happy to oblige.
Another ad that regularly crops up on my social media feed is the miracle cure for baldness. So if any of you don’t know by now, I’m bald. The interesting thing here though is that they declare that they can ‘cure’ me.
Am I sick? Have I got a disease? Should I tell people to stand two metres apart and wash their hands while singing to Oasis if they accidentally touch my folically challenged smooth head? Is it life threatening? Please, tell me, doctors on my FB page, how long have I got left?!
Kids make the same diagnosis as these ads. Having worked with kids for the past year, I know that they are very keen to point out that I’m bald. I play on this, of course. I’ve been losing my hair for long enough to not care one bit about it. As we get caught in the rain playing football I will suggest that we go back inside so that I don’t get my hair wet. The chorus of kids shouting back at me ‘But you’re bald!!!” will forever amuse me.
And when I ask for a second opinion my own kids confirm the diagnosis of this baldness disease. They’re astute. The future of the NHS is safe.
These pills, potions and magical cures can be very costly. But one thing is free. The ability to love oneself is free and available to everyone. It’s sometimes difficult to find, but it can be found.
If losing weight is a goal then loving yourself at the beginning of the process makes the journey so much easier. We forgive those that we love. We wish the people we love the very best. We stand in their corner when they need someone to cheer them on. We give them good, honest advice.
So I don’t really need a Wonka-Vite to feel younger and I don’t need a cure for baldness. I already have a potion that makes me dance like a young John Travolta and sing Rock DJ like a top of his game albeit a little arrogant Robbie Williams circa 2000….
….It’s red wine.
And self love of course!
I guess lots of budding authors, film makers and vloggers create content on certain blog sites and social media platforms to monetize their skills. They hone in on their skills and target audience, pay great attention to their editing, hashtags and algorithms and eventually have a product worth reading, viewing and selling.
My wife and I, on the other hand, have just spent two hours trying to get my Instagram account as admin to the new Road To Tranquility page which was set up on my wife’s account. We still have no clue on how to do it.
You see, we’re finding that we are becoming the aforementioned content creators by circumstance, not by our talent.
As small business owners who need to promote our products through exposure and without a team of media people to manage our accounts, it’s up to us to navigate our way through the digital world like The Chuckle Brothers putting up a tent.
Ah, tents. That’s a more familiar world. And, even though we will still hit the snags of setting up a glamping site in Portugal such as VISA, licencing, cost, weather conditions and language, nothing can be more difficult than syncing a bloody Instagram account!
But it makes me think, ‘why do I do it?’
Why bother setting up an account to document our adventures in setting up our business in Portugal? Why create a meditation podcast? Why write this article right now?
Well, the reason is simple really. I’m able to reach out to people like you. It allows me to communicate to like-minded people who also might have an interest in health, fitness and wellbeing. Other people might also have an interest in reading about my journey. There might be somebody who can relax to the meditation podcast. I might be able to make someone laugh. Perhaps something I do or write about might strike a chord in somebody else’s life. And for this reason, the tinterweb is fantastic.
But I can promise you one thing. I won’t be signing up to Threads!
After an early morning start, Jonas and I have been sifting through his goals archive and have decided that this is his best goal of his career so far. Click the link and enjoy!
https://youtube.com/shorts/CS0GadJ9t84?feature=share
It’s not often we agree on a movie to watch on our house movie days.
For example, I will suggest something edgy like Indiana Jones or Men In Black. Ok, maybe it isn’t that edgy but for 9 and 7 year olds who run out of the room when the bird lady appears in Home Alone Lost In New York, then anything that is a 12 plus is edgy.
My wife usually suggests something with a talking bear or mouse befriending a middle class family.
Jonas, my 9 year old, would probably go for The Spy Next Door every time and Finlay loves The Bee Movie and Flushed Away. But I used to know every scene of Flushed Away after lockdown so I’d rather not sit and watch it again any time soon!
As a family though, we can all agree on one movie that we have been desperate to see. The Super Mario Bros movie has been much anticipated in our household. We didn’t get a chance to see it at the cinema so when it arrived on Amazon video to rent we declared a house movie day!
The usual house movie day goes like this…
We debate the movie that we will watch for an hour or two. The movies mentioned above are all in the mix every time.
My wife and I tip bags of crisps into bowls, get some popcorn on the go and allow the boys a can of pop each. I say ‘allow’ because fizzy pop isn’t something we would usually have in the house. So movie day is a real treat for the lads!
The curtains get drawn, the picnic blanket goes on the sitting room floor, cushions and soft teddies get strewn about for good measure and we all take our positions for the beginning of the movie.
A few years ago, house movie day would have been an invitation for me or my wife to fall asleep halfway through the film. Indeed, if it was Flushed Away for the twentieth time it would have been rude not to. But there was no chance that would happen for Super Mario Bros.
My wife and I have fond memories of Super Mario while growing up. The simple game play on the now very retro consoles that I had as a kid reminds me of good times. Tetris, Sensible Soccer, Donkey Kong and Pacman too just take me straight back to me in my bedroom as a kid.
So when the Mario Bros music started at the beginning of the movie it triggered the memories.
I want my kids to have similar memories that, when they’re adults, will just transport them to innocent times of being a kid.
The theme tune to a favourite cartoon, the smell of a book, the noises of the arcades at the seaside, the face you pull when you put a fizzy sour cola bottle sweet in your mouth, hearing mum and dad laugh.
It doesn’t need to be Disneyland or a trip to Lapland that makes memories. I can still smell the caravan that I stayed in at Skipsea like I was there yesterday. And the great experiences that I had there will stay with me forever.
I hope that our house movie days can do that for Jonas and Finlay.
I might not have millions of pounds, a yacht or a big house to pass on to my kids when I pass, but I do hope that I can teach them a few things.
One thing that I would like to achieve is for them to understand that doubt will only hold them back. Past mistakes can cripple future ambitions.
It’s easy to live in the past. And for the good and the bad, the past at least gives us a sense of comfort. Our brain will call upon previous experiences from our lives and it provides familiarity. The future, however, can be seen as a scary, uncertain time. We often choose not to go there or think about it too much. So, in an attempt to stay safe, we keep referring back to what we have lived before. Whether we like what we have lived before or not.
The problem though, is that you cannot become who you want to be because you are too attached to who you’ve been. And this can be a monkey on your back all through your adult life until it’s too late.
My kids might not appreciate the process of leaving their friends, school, home, town and country now, but I’m hoping that in the future they will thank me when they’re living in Portugal with the opportunities that can open up for them.
But, for now, they might feel a little bit of doubt. They know what they know. Even with the reassurance and promise of what me and their mum can give to them, it is still an unknown reality.
And adults do the same. Adults miss out on creating their own business or going for a new career opportunity because of the doubts that creep in. Adults miss out on friendship and finding love because they are scared of being rejected. Adults are becoming depressed about their health and lifestyle because they refuse to commit to positive change.
But not all adults. You’ll notice that the ones who are smiling and are happy within themselves have all removed the lingering doubts that stop them from living with a more positive outlook. They’ve stopped calling upon the previous negative experiences that they’ve had and instead invested in their future selves.
You can’t change what happened ten years ago, but you do have a say in what happens in ten years time.
I want to let my kids know that they will make mistakes, but it is how they can learn and move on which will enable them to have bright futures. If they dwell on their mistakes then that is where doubt will set in. They will be tethered to the past.
I have worked with thousands of people who initially came to me with help regarding their health, weight and aesthetics. And there isn’t a single client that has failed by planning their future. This could be by preparing meals for the week more carefully or planning gym visits and booking fitness classes. But we can go even further into our most inner needs and desires. Once we begin to focus on the person we would like to be, then it is so much easier to plan on being that person. And then, as a habit, continue to think about this person.
Let’s think of another daily habit that you might have. Say, putting the kettle on in the morning. The kettle takes two minutes to boil. This gives you two minutes to visualize your day, your week, your next five years of your life. Think of it as a trailer to the best movie ever with a fantastic cast and a great ending and you are the main character.
What would you look like? What friends and family would be around you? What activities would you be doing? What’s the plot? Where is it set?
My favourite time to do this visualisation is when I put the washing out. Some of my best made plans have come whilst pegging my undies to the washing line. Why? Because it is a mundane task that is usually done daily and I don’t have to cram in another habit within my already busy day. I have time to think. I can daydream. I have to put the washing out. Why not make it interesting and productive?
The movie I have created for my family has a happy ending but there are sad moments too. Just like any good story. But because I have planned this script so many times during putting out the washing or cleaning out the guinea pig hutch, I know how it ends. Therefore I have no doubt about it, I can live my happiest life.
What can you begin to focus on for your future? Start setting realistic targets, find a really boring job that needs doing almost daily and make your movie now!
For one last time in a Scarborough Athletic FC shirt…
We would all like to see…
Their under 9’s number 6…
Bring the Corus Cup home.
Last year’s Corus Cup was eventful and it ended up with Jonas lifting a football trophy for the very first time. Next week will see him play his very last game for Scarborough Athletic FC and I hope I can post a picture similar to the one above.
Apologies for not being present on my blog site for a week or two. I do keep a check on comments and such from my readers but I simply haven’t found the time to write.
As the title suggests, it’s been a busy period with many great events such as my youngest turning seven. This included pizza and cake on his actual birthday and then a bowling party with lots of fried party food a couple of days later.
And then my wife and I celebrated our wedding anniversary of 14 years. We seem to grow stronger as we continue our journey together and, along with our two boys, we make a great team. Just as well then, seeing as this current journey has the ability to hit a bit of turbulence. But I’ll get to that shortly.
To celebrate our anniversary and knowing that we wouldn’t be getting any childcare to have our own grown up celebration, we decided to put the big three bedroom tent up in our garden for an adventure. The kids loved it as we ate yet more pizza and kebab in the tent from the takeaway, told eerie camping stories and then slept in it through the night. My wife and I managed a bottle of fizz (or two) as the kids got to sleep first.
So the last couple of weeks have been eventful and, although there have been lots of celebratory reasons to enjoy less nutritional food and drink, there has also been an element of comfort eating. This brings me back to the turbulence.
Regular readers will know that we accepted an offer on our house in the UK and are set to leave for Portugal in the coming months. However, a few days ago we found out that the buyers of a house further down the sale chain had pulled out of their deal. The buyers of our house remain in a good position to still purchase our house though so we are hoping that the chain can be ‘repaired’ quickly and we can continue without too much time lost.
But the stress and anxiety of the waiting and chasing up phone calls to estate agents and solicitors has been telling. We’re also awaiting further news of our VISA application.
And I must admit. I have taken my eye off of my usual nutritious diet and allowed more processed foods in. Not having the motivation to prepare big meals or the inclination to choose a healthy snack over the smokey bacon crisps (I don’t even like smokey bacon crisps) has been apparent in my recent mood.
This would have added further anxiety to my life before I began studying for my Personal Training qualifications and understanding how we behave the way we do and how we react to certain events in our lives. Losing track of my discipline would have made me believe that I was failing in some way.
I used to look at myself in the mirror after a workout and feel like Jason Statham. I’d leave the gym feeling good about myself. But if I looked at myself after eating a bag of crisps I would feel disappointed and useless.
But now? I reflect almost daily on what I can improve on in my life. I ask myself, did I really need those crisps? How did my workout make me feel? Did I treat my wife and kids with the love and respect they deserve today? What one thing could improve my wellbeing tomorrow? If I answer honestly, I usually find a solution in which I can begin to map out a better pathway. It all becomes a little clearer.
I can always do better, but if I call my recent over reliance on certain foods a failure then I am missing out on a massive opportunity to learn. Mistakes, blips or regrets are simply tools to teach ourselves something different.
I’ll eat crisps again, for sure, even smokey bacon. But from tomorrow, it’ll be back on my terms. It won’t be for comfort or for convenience.
Next week will undoubtedly be another eventful one. One which will be entered with plenty of optimism. One without turbulence. One with positive results.
One with lots of spinach smoothies.
‘Despite being nervous about moving up to play against the older kids, Jonas scored six goals in half an hour of his first game against the under 10s. You just don’t see anything like that.’
Jonas’ football coach gave him a fantastic send off during Scarborough Athletic’s grass roots presentation evening. It brought my wife to tears and I had a lump in my throat.
His impact at the club has been enormous. He broke records such as being the youngest ever player (he was signed to the under 7’s when he was 5) and his coach announced that he will be requesting that the number 6 jersey be retired in honour of the mark that Jonas has left.
The ‘football dad’ gets a bit of bad press. Pushy, yelling from the sideline and hoping that one day their kid will be earning millions playing in the Premier League.
And yet I don’t think I’ve been pushy. I’ve encouraged my kids to attend the extra curricular activities that they committed to but never demanded that they go if they didn’t want to. And for Jonas with football it’s been a bit like that. Despite his love for the game and his obvious talent, he has often made excuses not to go to training. But training twice a week and playing a game on Sundays since he was 5 must be quite tiring, even for the most willing of kids.
Scarborough Athletic are a very well run club. On day one the parents were told that it’s about their kids enjoying football and that the referees and coaches are volunteers. Yelling at them from the sidelines would not be tolerated. And although I’ve occasionally given encouragement and cheered a last minute winner, I’ve tried to keep quiet and not interfere with their game.
And I know the statistics when it comes to kids making it professional. I’ve seen some great talent in the hundreds of games that I’ve watched but I’ve probably not seen any kid that will become a full time professional. So I have to handle my kids’ dreams sensitively. Always dream big, yes, but success shouldn’t be defined by how much money you make, how big your car is or how many followers you have on Facebook.
Apart from a tournament that Jonas will hopefully be able to attend, that is it regarding his Scarborough Athletic journey. A club that has given him so many opportunities and valuable lessons in his short time of becoming a footballer. For that, we’ll be forever grateful.
There are moments when I worry about putting down roots for myself and my family.
I do, however, give myself a little talking to and realise that ‘putting down roots’ can mean so many different things.
I suppose the most common way of defining the phrase is to have ‘a settled life in a particular place.’ That’s the Oxford Languages definition on Google, anyway.
And it is this description that, until I give my head a wobble, is what concerns me.
I have no affinity to where I was born, grew up or any place that I have lived. I don’t call myself a Yorkshireman and I’d prefer to be known as an Earthling than English or British.
It’s not that I dislike any particular place. I just don’t connect with it. I don’t support Leeds Utd because I was born within walking distance of Elland Road and I don’t wave the St George flag when it’s a World Cup.
And when I move to Portugal, as much as I will respect their laws and traditions, you won’t find me running through the streets in Santarem with the bulls or singing A Portuguesa at the top of my voice waving the Bandera Verde-Rubra.
Indeed, as beautiful as Portugal is, I cannot say for sure if it will be the country I will grow old and die in. One of the reasons that I crave my freedom of movement back is so that I can explore more of the continent. My new blue passport represents chains around my ankles, not freedom.
So what, then, does my rational mind interpret ‘putting down roots’ to be?
My roots are a state of mind. It is not a tangible, physical place. My roots are the principles that I live by and pass on to my children. My roots are what will determine how far my branches can reach and explore. But you cannot see my roots. And if we look at the roots of a tree, it is said that a tree can provide a day’s oxygen for up to four people. We might think that the tree just stands still, yet it is reaching out far and wide. We just don’t see it.
Roots are more than what happens on a piece of land. It is how we nourish the things around us and how we learn and teach.
My children are going through a tough time in leaving their physical roots behind. Jonas loves York and can get a bit emotional about not being so close to his home town. Finlay keeps asking about visiting Leeds again before we leave for Portugal. Explaining to them their roots as a state of mind is difficult at their ages. I understand that it is an uncomfortable feeling to be leaving the environment that they call home, especially when it is the only thing that they know in their little lives.
But I’m hoping that their experiences will help them to grow and experience stuff that they wouldn’t normally do and see. I’m hoping that they can equip themselves with a wise and worldly vision for adulthood and they build strong characters.
After all, Dolly Parton says it best…”Storms make trees take deeper roots.”
And whatever your roots are, know that every storm just makes you a little stronger.
Never Give Up PT