Tag Archives: dad

Artic Roll

We provide the kids with packed lunches each day for school. There are a few reasons for this but the main reason is that Lou and I can inspect their lunch boxes at the end of their school day to make sure they’ve been eating enough.

We usually include a sandwich or wrap, crisps, a pepperami stick and vegetable sticks. They do, in case you were wondering, a very good job of eating it all (apart from the occasional sorry looking carrot stick in at the bottom of the bag).

But this morning our youngest, Finlay (6) asked if he could have a school meal next Wednesday. ‘Of course!’ I replied. ‘What’s so special about Wednesday’s meal?’

‘They do ice cream with sponge around it.’ He said.

The memories of my own childhood came flooding back. I remember eating this ice cream wrapped in sponge while watching Hi-Di-Hi every Saturday. This delicious dessert is the arctic roll. Or artic roll as I called it as a kid and probably did up until my 30’s.

I don’t recall many experiences of eating an arctic roll as an adult, but since Finlay reminded me of it all I’ve wanted all day is to eat one!

I had a sweet tooth as a child but rarely eat sweet puddings these days, but I do know that these old skool dinner puds are still available in UK supermarkets. Puddings such as jam roly poly, spotted dick, rice pudding and apple crumble.

I wonder if anyone has any more of their classic favourites that bring back childhood memories? Let me know in the comments!

The Day Will Wait

As I was getting the kids ready for school this morning I, as always, ran around like a headless chicken from room to room collecting PE kits, lunch boxes etc but there’s an added load of stress at the moment.

Every room is full of half packed boxes awaiting our house move. Going from one room to another is like an episode of Ninja Warrior as I jump, skip and trip my way to the front door with my two kids under each arm ready to throw into the car.

And I’m sure, as I come back home after school drop off, the boxes at home have been breeding. They’ve multiplied. The task looks even more intimidating by the hour. Indeed, time is of the essence. But…

But I stopped looking.

I stopped looking and I lay on the sofa and closed my eyes. I began to recognise my breathing. Witnessing every intake of breath and appreciating the way my chest and stomach expands as I breath in deeply.

And slowly exhale.

The belly softens. My shoulders drop. My body relaxes.

For the sake of ten minutes, listening to my body, allowing my mind to stop, reflect and contemplate, I enabled myself to reconnect to the day.

The day will wait. I will get stuff done when I’m ready. I’ll finish this text, post it onto my site, put my phone down and get the day done as it was meant to be done.

Letting Off A Bit Of Steam

https://youtube.com/shorts/HaKNb5XmaZ0?si=ySpzqNRhA0R4Q0a1

We are now within our final two weeks of living in the UK before our move to Portugal. The process has been hard and the uncertainty for the four of us has taken its toll. However, developments have taken place over the past few days and we even have our consulate date now for Manchester later this month. So we are on the right track.

But Sunday was a time to let off a bit of steam. Lou, the boys and I took a drive to the village of Grosmont, a picturesque place in the North York Moors and had a lovely walk along the old railway track.

It was very refreshing not to be talking about glamping, central Portugal, VISA applications or packing. We just breathed in the moment.

And we saw just how beautiful England is and, especially being Yorkshire folk, how lucky we are for having this on our doorstep.

Sycamore Tree

Sometimes, I feel like a tree.

I can stand tall and firm during stormy weathers, despite my leaves and branches looking a little dishevelled from the whole experience.

I am frequently visited and loved by many, I know. But I can feel lonely and vulnerable too.

People come and talk to me and ask me stuff. Yes me! A tree! I try to give good advice. I have, after all, some years of experience at living life.

I am beautiful.

They can kick me. They can cut me down. They can destroy me.

But I am not the problem. They are.

And for all their destruction, my energy will continue to give the people who I love and who love me the strength that they need to carry on.

Sometimes, I feel like a tree. But I’m not. I am so grateful to share this planet with a tree because I’m not worthy.

I am beautiful. But I’m not a tree.

In That Moment

I wonder if any of my readers might know the author of this quote…

“It is better to have done something imperfectly than done nothing flawlessly.”

I like it. And in my attempts to find the author I came across another quote not dissimilar by John Steinbeck…

“And now you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good.”

What is wrong with imperfections? What is wrong with good? Or sometimes even  adequate?

Blimey! If I could leave the gym feeling that I had done an adequate workout for most of my visits then I would have been making excellent progress!

But perfection? Even if I attempted to aim for that then I know that I would be disappointed. Disappointment leaves us demoralised. Being demoralised means that we give up. When we give up, we achieve nothing.

I have begun to embrace my imperfections. Maybe it’s an age thing, I dunno. I aim to do a ‘good’ job at everything I do. I have sometimes got anxious about not getting it spot on and it leaves me feeling rubbish. Inadequate. But when I aim for ‘good’, there’s a weight of responsibility lifted from my shoulders. It’s almost as if I can just begin to enjoy the task in hand rather than pretend to be super human.

I do my best at that moment in time.

And this helps me to understand other people’s efforts too. I used to get frustrated when my son could play a ‘player of the match’ performance one week and the next he didn’t turn up. This, as I now realise, can be for a whole number of reasons. Just like a client in a training session. We will not always achieve a personal best, a player of the match performance, score a worldy or be at our optimum 24/7. We are not robots.

But what I appreciate about my kids, employees, clients and of myself is that we just turn up and give it a go. To do our best in that moment.

Sometimes we feel like crap, right? We’re not always on tip top form. But it would be better to have done something imperfectly than to do nothing flawlessly.

Have a think about that the next time you’ve got a job or a task that you face. Just do it and do your best

In

That

Moment

Never Change, Finlay

For a few years now Lou, Finlay and I have watched Jonas lift the trophies, receive the accolades and praise of the teachers and sports coaches which has been a joy. But there has always been a sadness in my heart when I sat applauding him as he has his pictures taken with the players at Scarborough Athletic and I look at Finlay and wish ‘when can Finlay have his moment?’

Jonas received his swimming badges before Finlay, he became the school sports star, was known as the class maths whizz, had the striking curly hair that the old ladies loved to fuss over in the street. Finlay has always looked on.

Now, of course, Finlay is two and a half years younger, so Jonas would always reach certain developmental milestones ahead of Finlay. But I could see that Finlay felt overshadowed. Or maybe, it’s us as parents that have felt this on behalf of Finlay. He has always shown support towards his big brother and he has never complained.

However, Finlay became the comedian. His attempts, I believe to stand out and be seen, was to be the ‘class clown’.

And I know this because that was me as a kid and then into adulthood. Even now, I’m never too far away from telling a crap joke. At school I was always one of the first to be picked for sports teams. That was never an issue. But in class and amongst my peers, I always felt on the periphery. I wanted an identity. Being ‘sporty’ just wasn’t enough. I had all this creative energy waiting to burst out of me and as a teenager this came out by writing poetry, stand up routines and comedy sketches. I got more joy out of hearing someone laugh than scoring a winning goal.

Today Finlay received his first ever certificate of achievement at his school. We were invited to the assembly and Lou and I beamed with pride. It was awarded for always giving his 100% in his work.

I want Finlay to understand that he is his own person. He doesn’t have to follow in his brother’s footsteps of being a footballer. I’d much rather he didn’t! He doesn’t have to be good at whatever Jonas is good at. Finlay just needs to be Finlay, doing what he is doing and turning into a wonderful young boy.

Never change, Finlay, never change.

Nobody’s Mood Is Getting Me Down Today

Some days can be a drag. Perhaps the ups of a festival with lots of live music with thousands of people can leave the next day a bit of a come down. It’s a bank holiday but there’s lots to do. A business plan keeps popping up in my mind but I keep procrastinating. I’ve watched Darwin Nunez’s two goals from yesterday a hundred times and I’ve decided to write this blog. Important, but not as pressing as the business plan.

Or is it?

I’m writing down my thoughts of exactly how I’m feeling in the now. Kinda like a diary. Something that I have encouraged many of my clients to do. So maybe it is quite pressing. Except this diary is put out to the world for everyone to read. Still, if it resonates with just one person then I’m happy for this to be seen.

I had to go into my son’s bedroom today to intervene in a dispute on Fortnight. He was upset. This grumpiness is usually a sign of tiredness. We didn’t leave the festival until 11 last night and he hasn’t learnt the art of sleeping in on a bank holiday yet.

After giving advice about how to move forward regarding his dispute he still argued his point to me. Feeling like a Premiership referee with a footballer contesting his red card, I said,”Nobody’s mood is getting me down today.” With that I left his room.

I knew that I was tired and edgy myself first thing this morning. It’s nothing that a coffee wouldn’t solve, but telling my son, myself and what felt like the whole universe, “nobody’s mood is getting me down today,” helped me in developing today’s mantra. The aggressive driver, the rude person in the supermarket barging into the queue, any phone caller trying to piss on my parade or my own kid throwing a paddy over a computer game were not going to get me down today.

Eventually, I have now got my kids to come off of their screens and play a board game. Old skool playing. The game is called The Game Of Life. A classic 70’s game about trying to ‘win’ at life.

Perhaps defiantly stating to the world that nobody will get me down is a little win at life for myself. At least for today.