Tag Archives: body confident

Gym Or No Gym

When I think of being in the gym it reminds me of a happy place. It is where I have met friends, where I found my dream job as a PT and, quite frankly , where I found myself as a person. The gym helped mould me into becoming a more determined and disciplined person.

It has also been a place where I can forget my troubles for an hour or two or, in many cases, solved my troubles by talking to others. Indeed, I have heard many things being thrashed out in between sets of deadlifts from other members such as relationship troubles, work issues, politics, their team’s results from the weekend and health worries. All passionately expressed as much as the huff and puff of their heavy lift.

And of course as a person who is there quite a lot and who everyone knows, I seem to be the go-to person when it comes to news and gossip. I know where everyone goes on holiday. I know who has recently died. I know of everyone’s upcoming operations and I know what everyone eats each mealtime. Football is always a hot topic in the gym too, so whether it be Manchester City or The Nags Head, I know every score of every team in the country.

I love it, but that’s me. I don’t expect everyone to get this feeling when they enter the gym. In fact I know for some people it fills them with dread. And in this article I’m aiming to reach out to those who either don’t feel that they have the time to get to the gym, can’t afford a gym membership or just hate going.

This month I paid my final PT rent installment to the gym which means that in a few weeks time I won’t be associated with a gym, either as a member or a trainer, for the first time in 25 years. That thought would’ve scared me not so long ago. It’s played such a huge part of my life to the point that, during a time where I felt lost and without direction as a young man, the gym saved me. But my future plan doesn’t involve a gym. Not a commercial gym anyway. I’ll be creating my own space on my own property in Portugal. It won’t have the mod cons. I’ll be going back to basics.

In the coming months my wife and I will be developing a YouTube channel entitled The Road To Tranquility where it will document our lives creating our luxury wellbeing camping experience in Portugal. A part of our visitors experience will involve massage, yoga, meditation and personal training.

Whatever I create for my visitors will be what I have to work with too. I doubt the area or the funds will allow for treadmills, rowing machines, cables and attachments or a deadlifting platform. I’ll have to be inventive with a bench, a selection of dumbbell and kettlebell weights and a battle rope.

And this leads me onto my point of the article. You can absolutely develop a very successful workout routine at home, in the garden, in the park or just about anywhere you can find a bit of space. Also, you don’t even need weights. Body weight workouts are perfectly fine routines for most goals. But if, like me, you enjoy working with resistance and wish to maintain and increase your strength, then the ‘middle of Lidl’ will often sell relatively cheap weights, resistance bands and other useful equipment. Other places I’ve found to be handy for exercise equipment is TK-Max and online selling platforms such as Facebook market and eBay. It’s amazing what people are trying to sell since they no longer need it after lockdown!

I have said to many gym goers (to the despair of the gym manager) that exercise does not need to be restricted to the gym. And if you don’t enjoy formal exercise I would recommend taking up a new sport, joining a running group, taking up dance classes or just going for walks. The purpose here is to adopt a healthy lifestyle and remain motivated in reaching physical and mental health goals.

I’ll miss the gym banter, but my journey will still enable me to meet new and interesting people while achieving my fitness goals. Think about your own journey. Tailor it to meet your needs. Gym or no gym, you can become the healthier version of you.

‘I Am Strong’ Affirmation

My latest podcast deals with powerful affirmations to overcome difficult moments in your life and how you can unlock the code using your inner strength.

Just follow the link below!

Listen to the most recent episode of my podcast: ‘I Am Strong’ Affirmation https://anchor.fm/shay-durant-duckworth/episodes/I-Am-Strong-Affirmation-e269qof

The Birthday Party, Camping In The Garden, A Wedding Anniversary, Oh…And A Broken Chain.

Apologies for not being present on my blog site for a week or two. I do keep a check on comments and such from my readers but I simply haven’t found the time to write.

As the title suggests, it’s been a busy period with many great events such as my youngest turning seven. This included pizza and cake on his actual birthday and then a bowling party with lots of fried party food a couple of days later.

And then my wife and I celebrated our wedding anniversary of 14 years. We seem to grow stronger as we continue our journey together and, along with our two boys, we make a great team. Just as well then, seeing as this current journey has the ability to hit a bit of turbulence. But I’ll get to that shortly.

To celebrate our anniversary and knowing that we wouldn’t be getting any childcare to have our own grown up celebration, we decided to put the big three bedroom tent up in our garden for an adventure. The kids loved it as we ate yet more pizza and kebab in the tent from the takeaway, told eerie camping stories and then slept in it through the night. My wife and I managed a bottle of fizz (or two) as the kids got to sleep first.

So the last couple of weeks have been eventful and, although there have been lots of celebratory reasons to enjoy less nutritional food and drink, there has also been an element of comfort eating. This brings me back to the turbulence.

Regular readers will know that we accepted an offer on our house in the UK and are set to leave for Portugal in the coming months. However, a few days ago we found out that the buyers of a house further down the sale chain had pulled out of their deal. The buyers of our house remain in a good position to still purchase our house though so we are hoping that the chain can be ‘repaired’ quickly and we can continue without too much time lost.

But the stress and anxiety of the waiting and chasing up phone calls to estate agents and solicitors has been telling. We’re also awaiting further news of our VISA application.

And I must admit. I have taken my eye off of my usual nutritious diet and allowed more processed foods in. Not having the motivation to prepare big meals or the inclination to choose a healthy snack over the smokey bacon crisps (I don’t even like smokey bacon crisps) has been apparent in my recent mood.

This would have added further anxiety to my life before I began studying for my Personal Training qualifications and understanding how we behave the way we do and how we react to certain events in our lives. Losing track of my discipline would have made me believe that I was failing in some way.

I used to look at myself in the mirror after a workout and feel like Jason Statham. I’d leave the gym feeling good about myself. But if I looked at myself after eating a bag of crisps I would feel disappointed and useless.

But now? I reflect almost daily on what I can improve on in my life. I ask myself, did I really need those crisps? How did my workout make me feel? Did I treat my wife and kids with the love and respect they deserve today? What one thing could improve my wellbeing tomorrow? If I answer honestly, I usually find a solution in which I can begin to map out a better pathway. It all becomes a little clearer.

I can always do better, but if I call my recent over reliance on certain foods a failure then I am missing out on a massive opportunity to learn. Mistakes, blips or regrets are simply tools to teach ourselves something different.

I’ll eat crisps again, for sure, even smokey bacon. But from tomorrow, it’ll be back on my terms. It won’t be for comfort or for convenience.

Next week will undoubtedly be another eventful one. One which will be entered with plenty of optimism. One without turbulence. One with positive results.

One with lots of spinach smoothies.

Positive Outcomes

For the past eight years as a Personal Trainer and now more recently as a meditation guide and Cognitive Behavioural Therapist I have been asking people what they want from life/gym/work/relationships and I will often get a reply about what they don’t want.

It seems that we are fixated, or petrified, of what is going to or could go wrong. And maybe that is a natural response. It’s our defence mechanism. It enables us, we think, to deal with disappointment.

In my own personal experience at the moment, when I tell people about my move to Portugal, from the majority of people they will instantly say ‘but what about work?’ or what about this and what if that.

I understand their concerns. Every possible outcome has been observed by my wife and I. But the positive outcomes are the ones that we channel our energy into. In techniques such as meditation, quantum jumping, mantras and cleansing our spaces of negative energy through singing bowls we know that the vibrations that we are sending to the universe will provide positive outcomes.

I have spoken before about how the universe acts like a computer algorithm. It will respond to whatever we are focussed on.

Do you find that you start to get advertisements for your next holiday because you googled ‘cheap holiday deals’?

You might find that topics that you have researched on your phone recently will appear as ads on this blog.

The universe does the same.

So if I devote my time to the things that I want to happen in my life, the more likely it is going to happen.

The signals that I send into the universe will determine how I react to certain events in my life and the outcomes that will play out.

When you focus your energy on becoming fitter, eating healthier and setting gym goals you begin to feel better about yourself and you will start to see results much quicker.

If you focus your energy on losing your belly, banning chocolate and not planning your gym time then what you have done is send negative energy and you are more likely to feel negative from your experiences.

It is, of course, so much easier to channel this energy through meditation. A moment each day where you can type in all the positive good stuff into your computer and allow the algorithms to give you its feedback.

What I want you to do right now after you read this is to stop fearing what could go wrong and start welcoming what could go right.

Do it each day. You might be pleasantly surprised.

Something New

I have just launched my podcast channel which is found in the link below. Just like any great series, perhaps the first few episodes might come across as raw. Even Friends had a great big pillar in the way for the first series in Monica’s apartment!

So once I get over the nerves of talking and recording myself for everyone to hear I think I can nail it and make it a useful tool. Hope you enjoy!

Check out my podcast, NGU Guided Meditation , on Spotify for Podcasters: https://anchor.fm/shay-durant-duckworth

Quantum Jump Manifestation

We tend to only see ourselves as part of this universe. Indeed, the word ‘universe’ indicates that there’s just one. And yet we know very little about what is beyond our own galaxy. As we learn more about quantum physics, we are also becoming more open to what else is out there.

What if we could actually discover what lies beyond our galaxy within these parallel realities? What if you could discover new layers to this world and make contact with alternate versions of yourself?

This week, that is where I’ve been. This souped up variation of a visualization meditation can take you on a journey of discovery and empowerment. I felt it and I learnt a great deal about me and my future. Just for a moment, I lived it.

Before I explain more about QJM, I first need to describe to you how the universe works for us. The universe is like a Google search bar. When you type in a search on Google, the algorithm will match what it is you’re looking for. So sophisticated is this engine, that it will also begin to create ads and suggestions based on what you input into it. Well, the universe works in exactly the same way.

A vibrational frequency from your thoughts and emotions is picked up by the universe where it will begin to match your frequency into matching algorithms.

So QJM allows us to get deep inside our subconscious mind and shape our inner beliefs and expectations. Through QJM we can access dormant areas of our minds and explore desired realities. Through these focussed techniques of QJM, we can create positive outcomes and allow the universe to process this through its matching algorithms.

Quite a lot of guided meditations that I use when I feel like I need it is by Jason Stephenson on YouTube. I really would recommend that you allow yourself some time to listen and focus on his version of a Quantum Jump Manifestation. They can be a lengthy hour or two though, so do make sure that you can have an evening to yourself (or with a partner) to take the jump. You might like some time to process your experience afterwards too.

Although I’m qualified in guided meditations I’m going to continue learning and hopefully find a way of qualifying me to conduct QJM for other people, so I won’t be sharing any of my versions just yet! But if you are interested in giving it a go, check out Jason Stephenson’s QJM and tell me how you got on.

For now, keep feeding those positive thoughts to the universe.

That Bit Of Mayo On The Spoon Before It Goes Into The Dishwasher

If someone were to give me a choice in having abs or not, then I would gratefully receive them.

If they then explained what I had to do to maintain and keep the abs I would decline the offer.

One of the most difficult things for a personal trainer to coach is a client wanting abs, AKA a six pack.

So here’s the thing. We all have them, it’s just some are more covered than others. And it is fat that covers them.

It is said that a man needs to be below 12% body fat to actually see a six pack and around 18% for a female. And, although this is achievable for people in general, maintaining this is very difficult indeed.

I regularly go from 12% to 18% depending on the time of year and at my lowest body fat there is a decent amount of definition in the six pack area. However, due to my diet it is impossible for me to edge past down to the 10% mark, where the definition would be very impressive.

And yet my diet is not poor. My calories per day average around 2800 (taken from an annual calculation) and most of my meals are nutritional. But it is nowhere near the strict regime that would be necessary for more definition on my abs or anywhere else!

It was a long time ago that I ditched the idea of going to the gym to get a six pack and it’s around the same time I decided that I liked going for a pint with colleagues after work. Now, I enjoy sneaking in an extra fish finger in the air fryer while I’m making the kids tea.

Abs are made in the kitchen. Indeed, muscle definition anywhere on the body is made in the kitchen. However, that doesn’t mean that having a physically fit physique means a life of chicken, broccoli and rice, washed down with a protein shake every meal time.

An 80/20 rule might not be the clean diet that is necessary for abs of steel, but it is sensible for the majority of people. 80% of your diet is nutritional and balanced while 20% is the other stuff that might not help towards a six pack but it tastes bloody nice!

A popular gym quote goes something like this…”People need to understand the difference between wants and needs. Like I want abs, but I need tacos.”

I could replace tacos with the leftover fish finger, that bit of mayo on the spoon before it goes in the dishwasher, brie cheese with cream crackers, my wife’s homemade ice cream, crumpets with too much butter and pringles and this quote would apply to me. But I make sure that it remains within that 20% of food that I have accounted for. Therefore, even though my abs aren’t defined, I keep a physique that I am happy with. After all, a six pack isn’t the definition of fit and healthy.

So, maybe considering your eating habits a little more and trying to achieve the 80/20 could be a good way for you to progress in your fitness goals. This way, you get to enjoy your workouts and you don’t have to ban your favourite foods.

Eating Healthier On Workout Days

I’ve just trained at the gym and I’m waiting for my quinoa to cook. I’ll be adding a tin of mackerel and a dash of piri piri sauce to this when I plate it up. Nothing too extravagant, but it does pack a punch in the macro and vitamins department.

And yet, if I’m honest with myself, had I not trained today I would have opted for a couple of cheese bagels with mayo and mustard. Delicious yes, but it hasn’t got the same nutritional value.

I find myself doing this regularly. On training days I will always want the healthier option. And studies show that it isn’t just me. In a recent study at the University of Texas it assembled 2500 people who did not exercise regularly and ate less nutritional foods on a daily basis.

They were put on an exercise program and told to keep a journal including their eating habits. They were asked not to change their diet.

However, within a few weeks it was highlighted that over half of those who kept to their exercise program did change their eating habits. They would often choose fruit, veg, lean meats, fish, nuts to eat on training days.

But what these studies don’t identify is WHY their habits change. So, seeing as I do exactly the same as those in the study in Texas I might be able to shed some light on why.

First of all, I enjoy fried foods. I am currently loving the homemade ice cream that my wife keeps making. I prefer cheap white sliced bread. Cheese would make my top 5 of favourite foods and kebab meat would probably rank pretty high too. I drink beer and wine. I enjoy food. But there’s a physical and psychological process that happens once I train.

Physical

I work hard at the gym. During and after my workout my body feels it and it is my body that demands what fuel is put into it in order to recover. Although the want for fried, less healthy foods don’t go away, the craving for food that compliments my workout and the recovery is very high.

Psychological

I’ve just put an hour of my time into feeling fitter and better about myself. I feel a little lighter and I feel body positive. My need for less nutritional food is not so high that I am going to step out of the gym and go straight into Greggs for pasties and sausage rolls. Today is a good day. I feel good about myself. The endorphins that are released during my workout have triggered a happier, satisfied me. My cheese bagel sounds great, but it’ll be there for another day. For now, I don’t want to feel heavy through stodgy processed food. This food is comforting, but I already have those endorphins racing through my body to comfort me. In other words, I don’t want to feel like I’ve ruined a good workout by eating the wrong food.

When I keep goals very simple such as feeling better about myself, looking fit and healthy for my age and helping myself stay mobile for as long as possible throughout my life then the answer is easy. I can still eat all of the things that make my top 5 of favourite indulgence foods but I am also programmed to give my body what it needs.

Of course, if I were to develop more complex goals then my nutritional needs may become more acute, for example, training for a marathon or a sport at an elite level, a certain weight target or for medical conditions. But I’m not.

The Bottom Line

In an ideal world we would be eating the healthier ‘clean’ foods all of the time, but it isn’t an ideal world. Sometimes you need to grab and go as you work towards a deadline in your course or job. The kids swimming lessons are straight after school and you can only manage a packet of crisps as you scramble them into the car. Or you’ve been invited on a night out and you want a few gin and tonics.

But effort and preparation goes a long way if you keep goals simple. Being more active and giving your body some nutritious food can simply become something that you do. You become programmed to it because it makes you feel good after an activity.

An apple, beans or quinoa might never be in your top 5 of your favourite foods, but they don’t have to be. They just need to exist in your diet to begin with. There’s no such thing as bad food, just bad habits. And I think the key to creating better eating habits lies with us taking some time to exercise regularly.

Runaway Train

Perhaps when we find ourselves at a particularly low ebb in life, we turn to stuff that feeds off of that anxiety. It’s like a form of self harm. Scratching away at the scab that protects the wound.

Severe self harm such as cutting ones self, so it has been said by those who have done it, forms a release as they see a trickle of blood come from a cut.

This release, in more clinical terms, is known as the hormone dopamine. The body’s natural happy drug.

I never self harmed in this way. Instead, I found the gym and, albeit not exactly what we think of when we think of self harm, if you break down the muscle fibres which causes muscle hypertrophy during resistance training then you are ‘harming’ yourself. Certainly, that’s what the body identifies, and therefore triggers the  release of dopamine in the same way as the body of a  self harmed would.

I’ve written before about how the gym saved my life. And it isn’t PT spiel to get people to the gym. It’s just the fact that we need to release these hormones somehow and the gym ticks all of the positive boxes in doing that.

But what about before the gym? Back in the early 90’s there weren’t gyms that catered for 14 year olds in the UK. There seems to be a number of gyms that have certain set hours throughout the week which can be used for under 16’s, such as the gym I train at in Scarborough. But I’m not sure this was the case for me, so I turned to music.

As I mentioned in my first paragraph, we tend to find the stuff that feeds off of our anxieties at particular times in our life. So when I felt low I didn’t turn to the Greatest Hits of Black Lace. I wasn’t doing the agadoo when I felt worthless. Instead, I would listen to grunge and rock music. Bands like Marilyn Manson, Nirvana , Pearl Jam and Jeff Buckley would create more angst and yet in some way soothe me. Perhaps, in music such as this, if you feel that the lyrics speak directly to you, then you can be comforted in that somebody else is feeling your pain. They understand. It’s an arm around the shoulder.

One of my first albums that I bought was the Soul Asylum LP Grave Dancers Union. The lead singer, Dave Pirner, often sang about his depression and it is probably best captured in the track ‘Runaway Train’.

He describes how his own depression felt like a runaway train. That was his metaphor for his anxieties that would spiral out of control.

And this isn’t unusual. One in six UK adults suffer from depression. Females are far more likely to seek help for their mental health than men. A charity organisation that I have had contact with through my work is Andy’s Man Club, which offers advice and meetings in their local areas. I would advise any man who feels that they need help to give them a call.

When I first became a PT I didn’t appreciate how much work goes into mental health rather than physical health. Sure, most people want to lose a few pounds or grow muscle but there is usually an underlying reason for why a gym member has approached me for PT.

By no means are all of my clients depressed! But there is a certain need for us all to be accepted. It is when we realise who we are looking for acceptance from that we can start moving forward. And that person is ourselves. Nobody else.

We drive the runaway train. It can derail sometimes and we can feel out of control. But fundamentally we can get it back on track and put on the brakes. And that’s why people come to me. Because no matter what gym goal they tell me, as long as I deliver in enabling them to accept themselves first and foremost then the rest is easy. A few pounds, no problem! Feeling pumped, easy! Because they start to do it on their terms. They gain control of their mind and their body.

And we can take this same principle outside of the gym with identifying any life goals. The very best Personal Trainers also make excellent life coaches because the needs of an individual inside the gym is simply just a reflection of their greater needs outside of it. It’s all relative to the bigger picture. And then, like a jigsaw, we can piece it all together. It starts making sense. We can take control.

We’ve all got a runaway train, but first you need to understand that you are the driver. Contact me if you need to talk.

shay.pt@hotmail.com