body confident – Never Give Up PT

Fitness Goals And The Important Little Things

When I enter the gym with a goal, it is a goal with many different aspects. I can’t pin it down. I want to maintain weight management, strength and mental wellbeing. That’s just the same as 30 years ago and will probably never change.

But if I get the little things right, then achieving the above can be fairly straightforward. So, about those little things…

I want to improve my grip. A better grip can lead to personal bests by lifting heavier or for longer. Same with my breathing. If I remain in control of my breathing then it undoubtedly helps with a tough set. I want to discover new exercises and therefore experience new challenges that will put my body under a different kind of stress. These are just a few examples of the little things that, put together over time and with consistency, will get me the big goals.

I want to get a message to anyone who set out a new year’s fitness goal, particularly those of you who have any ideas of quitting. Get the little things right.

Any grand resolution such as weight loss (by far the most requested goal in January) needs all the little things in place and working consistently if you are to reach your goal. And most people who don’t reach their goal don’t reach it because they give up, lose direction, become demoralised and get bored.

So, with what I’m about to suggest, I didn’t mean to get too technical when I start blabbering on about grip improvement. That is a personal thing to me, and, well, I make it a priority to my clients. But there are lots of little things that can be undertaken in order to really tackle those new year’s fitness resolutions this year. So, whatever the goal, here’s a few little tricks to keep you focused.

Write your achievements down. I used to go into the gym with a pen and a notebook to write down new bests for all of my programmed routine. If I had curled for 15 with a pair of 12k instead of the 10’s, I would document it. It works the same for cardio based equipment too. If you have rowed your furthest on the rower in the given time then write it down so that you know your future targets on that exercise. Indeed, with your phone at hand you can write your notes on an app and also take a picture of a cardio machine screen.

Aim to try your best, but know that every gym routine will not be a day of new personal bests. Life just isn’t like that. But also know that every routine is very useful. Footballer Eric Cantona said,”I prefer to play and lose rather than win, because I know in advance I’m going to win.” If you turn up, you are winning, even if it doesn’t always feel like it.

Put healthy options at the forefront of your mind. The best way to do this is to create visual triggers. I have recently gone a few weeks without making a fruit smoothie. It has always been a staple for my wife and I every morning, but somehow with pallets of stuff still coming over from England, the Nutribullet smoothie machine had been pushed right to the back of the cupboard to make room for new stuff. Instantly it became out of site, out of mind. The box of Celebrations, however, have lived on the kitchen table all over Christmas. You can try organising your kitchen so that healthier snacks are at hand. Also, don’t even give your gym kit time to get comfortable in a draw. Lay it out ready to pack into your sports bag or put straight on.

Think. Yes, think more. Meditate more. Pray more. Walk and observe nature. Whatever you prefer. Lay in a hot bath, lock the door with a good book (not a screen) and simply have some quiet time. As long as you give yourself time to think it doesn’t matter how you do it. This keeps your focus sharp, rather than the days bogging you down.

And lastly, enjoy it! Exercising towards a goal shouldn’t be a slog. Well, not always. It can be difficult to find the motivation in getting to the gym on a cold, dark morning or evening. And then there’s actually finding the time to get there. There’s no doubt, the gym has lots of equipment and it’s great when you find like-minded people in a class, but if life has got in the way and you don’t have the time or money, then there are some fantastic home routines that can take just 20 minutes without loads of space or equipment needed. If you start becoming frustrated by missed gym visits and feel down on yourself then it is the first sign of giving up on your fitness goals because you are not enjoying it.

I hope these ideas can really help you to stay focused on your fitness journey. Let me know how you get on!

Silence Brings Truth

It’s funny. I can look through old photos or the memories pop up on my Facebook feed of my ‘progress pics’.

These usually showed me flexing after a gym sesh. At the time I was a commercial gym personal trainer and it felt important to put myself out there on social media and show everyone my ‘results’.

I can tell you now that I don’t regret any of that. I enjoyed the ‘toilet poses’, something that me, other trainers and clients would do. This is where you have a kick ass workout and then go to the changing rooms, flex, take a pic and put it on social media. After all, golfers want to record their hole in one, an angler wants to show friends their big catch and a boxer is proud of their knockout punch. And so a gym goer should be proud to flex.

But right now I don’t have that need to do it. Sure, my training has been erratic. I keep myself very active and consider myself in good condition at 45. I am currently brush cutting 20,000 square metres of land with a 20k machine attached to my hip. But I haven’t been weight training, so the only time I flex these days is when I’m replicating the Bruce Willis scene in Friends. Basically, just after a shower in my bedroom I start acting like Hulk Hogan in front of the mirror. My friends on social media don’t need to see that!

I read a quote recently that resonated. It read,”Noise creates illusions, silence brings truth.”

I don’t feel like I need to showcase my body anymore. I don’t need to show you my personal best bench press.

I’m happy for the noise to be coming from the new PT’s who feel they have something to prove and who want to create something on social media. This ‘illusion’, I believe, is still important in commercial gyms. People buy into it. The buff, popular trainer who flexes on social media will always have clients in that moment.

But now I prefer to work in silence. And the truth is that I feel more of a complete person now than I ever have done. I have nothing to prove to anyone.

Maybe it’s an age thing, or perhaps I’ve reached a certain time in my life where I just don’t give a fuck. But I just don’t feel like anybody needs to see me flex my lats during a pull down. I’d much rather post the beautiful carpet of purple foxgloves in the garden.

Training remains my life. In fact, as I’ve said many times in my articles, training saved my life. Before I started at a gym, I was depressed and without a cause. The gym gave me a focus and I loved it. Still do. But now it’s different. In a way you need to earn your badges in a commercial gym before you find your true path as a trainer. Well now I’ve found mine. The journey was noisy, but now I’m enjoying the silence.

The Sum Of The Parts

It is the age old question in the gym in regards to what is the best type of training for weight management or, as is commonly known as, fat loss.

“Should I use weights?”

“Do I join a high intensity class or go on treadmills?”

“Is it high reps or low reps?”

These sorts of questions are the most frequently asked to a Personal Trainer in a commercial gym.

The correct answer, of course, is never that simple. Every individual is different, yes, but generally all of the above are perfectly fine ways to manage weight for the average adult.

To elaborate on these answers I could also suggest going for long, frequent walks, preparing your meals and counting calories for a short period of time or taking the stairs instead of the elevator. (That last suggestion isn’t meant to sound flippant or facetious. It is my attempt to encourage a more active outlook in one’s daily routine and we often miss these opportunities in order to get somewhere quicker or for convenience.)

So when we break it all down into these different training techniques, ways of moving and positive lifestyle changes we get the bigger picture. One which promotes weight management. And as long as these can be incorporated there will be success in one’s fitness journey.

But it all starts with a spark or a thought that leads us onto actually adopting these positive things into our lives. And if you have read this article up to now, I am assuming that you have already begun the thought process.

Indian philanthropist and businessman Pankaj Patel once said,”It is the sum of the parts that make up the whole. So excellence comes from how one undertakes to do something. It all begins with the thought process which is creative and exalted to produce something out of the ordinary.”

To make up the whole, it is said, you need all the little components to complete it. The thought process, or the planning, is a vital component.

In regards to a weight management journey, the whole needs planning, but this planning must include all the factors that I have spoken about. Frequent walks are just as important as making It into the gym. Why? Because it is an important part of the sum that creates the whole. Many people have found their motivation, inspiration, their plans, their passions and indeed themselves on a long walk. It cannot be underestimated. It’s also a great exercise.

There are no magical processes that can guarantee weight management (whatever you want to manage it to be). But there are a number of methods that, when put together, can give you the best opportunities. Many of them I’ve listed above.

I will often give my clients a little bit of homework. I ask them to write down four or five ways in which they can achieve their realistic body weight target. And when they have actually thought about it, they come back to me with the answers I have listed above. This is because we are not reinventing the wheel here, as many influencers would have you believe, we are simply adding simple methods to your life and tweaking things that need a bit of change.

It is the sum of the parts that you already have at your disposal. And when you use them correctly, you begin to have access to the whole.

Shay is a personal trainer, CBT therapist, meditation guide and owner of Pinheiros Tranquilos Bem Estar in central Portugal.

Orange Is The New Snack

I don’t do new year’s resolutions. I tend to just work with the moment. If I need to lose a few pounds to fit more comfortably in my jeans then I’ll just either lose a few pounds or I’ll buy a bigger pair of jeans. I’ve learnt to be happy in doing either of those.

But seeing as we’ve recently acquired six orange trees in a part of the world that don’t do takeaway meals, that moment it seems, has arrived.

This evening, as I peeled an orange from our tree, I said to Lou that I don’t think I’ve ever eaten so healthily over the Christmas period. Don’t get me wrong, I do try to stick to some sort of a plan for nutritional reasons at any time of year, but the tubs of celebrations and bowls of salted peanuts and crisps always make an appearance. But either these traditional British Christmas snacks don’t exist in Sertá or they are imported at the expense of the consumer. And I’m not prepared to pay over ten euros for a bag of Nobby’s Nuts.

The oranges are free from the garden.

So after some research I’ve found that the trees dotted about the land are called navel orange trees. With no snacks in the cupboard and no obligatory one or two takeaway meals during the Christmas and new year period, I’ve found myself peeling an orange each evening.

Now, it has to be said, I have always hated oranges. The peel would get under my nails. My fingers would be sticky and would smell. It would squirt in my eye as I wrestled with the peel. The pips would get in the way of any sort of enjoyment of eating an orange.

I have peeled so many oranges in my life. My previous work meant that I peeled at least three a day in residential and day care settings. My kids eat oranges and my life got a little easier with ‘easy peelers’. Thank goodness for easy peelers! It didn’t, however, change my mind on oranges. Messy fuckers.

And then I picked a juicy piece of sun from a tree.

The move to rural Portugal was not by accident. Much of our motivation to choose the Castelo Branco region was its lack of fast food restaurants, pubs and bars and traffic. We wanted to take our family where we could try to live a simpler, healthier lifestyle. The temptation of a Greggs pasty is no longer there for me. The local supermarkets are stocked with their traditionally prepared bacalhau and other varieties of sea food and local fresh produce. Yes, they have junk food too. But I’m beginning to overlook it. I’ll wait and pick an orange when I get home.

I have always told my clients that you will always want to eat what you have available to you. If you buy it and take it home, it will be calling you at 10pm willing you to take it from the cupboard and eat it.

It is often said that a fitness goal begins in the kitchen. I would say it begins in the supermarket. You can’t eat something that you don’t buy in.

And it is extremely difficult, I know. Nobby always wanted me to grab his nuts. But I want a fresh start in making better health choices.

My new love affair with the orange is real. You could say it’s tang-erine-able.

Orange is the new snack.

Remember This Going Into Your New Year…

Wow. Some year huh?!

I hope that this year has been a prosperous one for you. I hope that, whatever you set out to do at the beginning of this year, you have succeeded or are on the right path in reaching it.

But it is important to know that whatever you want to achieve in this coming year, it is done for you. Nobody else.

Sure, you’ll get support from the ones who you can put your trust in. You know the ones. They proved before that they will pick you up when you’re down and go out of their way to help you out.

But then you will come across those who place expectations upon you and sneer at your downfalls or shortcomings. You will never please these people so you don’t even need to concern yourself in trying to. For these people, you just need to limit your time around them. Don’t hate them. Don’t become them.

I came across a quote the other day and it made a lot of sense to me but, forgive me, I’ve tried to find the owner of this quote but I don’t know who it is. Maybe you do? It says…

“No matter how good you are, people will judge you according to their mood and needs.”

Not all people. As I say, you know the ones. But you’ll get a little alarm bell that sounds in your head when you speak to someone who will.

It might be a snigger as you tell them about your fitness goal or a mocking shake of the head as you express yourself about a lost relationship or job opportunity.

You know the face they pull, right? The ‘how did you ever think you could date that person?’ look.

Maybe their needs and mood could be helped by your supportive attention, but it’s not your job. Just make sure that you protect you first of all. You can’t help anybody if you aren’t protecting yourself first of all.

So let’s start thinking about what you want to achieve in 2024. Think big. But remember that some people won’t want you to get there, no matter how good you become at striving for it.

Leaving The Comfort Zone

Since Jonas was five he has played football for Scarborough Athletic. He was only able to train with the under 7’s team as he was too young, but once the new season started, he was able to play official matches.

Now ten, he has a new challenge coming up. Soon he will begin training with his new team, Sertanense, a club based in Sertá, central Portugal, ready for the new season in September.

Both Jonas and his younger brother Finlay will be starting a new school in Portugal in the new year and this is the biggest challenge of all seeing as it will include learning a new language (it is a local school and not an international school). It also means that they’ll not be with us every hour of every day which has been the case for the past few months as we made the permanent move.

Things are happening quickly for them. Lou and I don’t know how they will react on the morning of the 3rd of January when we take them to their new school. So far, when we talk about it, the signs are good. But to them it’s still Christmas. January might seem a distance yet. In reality it is a week today as I write this.

Finlay seems to want to take up a martial art as his extra curricular activity. He plays football, but it seems a bit more forced because he just joins in what Jonas is doing. But he doesn’t seem to have that passion for it. He doesn’t like watching it, whereas Jonas will analyse a period of play and talk about positioning during a game on TV. I’ve had play fights with Finlay. I think Karate or Judo will be a good choice for him. He’ll be a black belt in no time.

I’m trying not to transfer my fears onto the boys. What I mean by that is maybe I’m more scared than they are. They might just walk into school without any issues. Jonas might run onto the training pitch with 20 other kids with no problems. Maybe it’s me who has the nerves.

I hated new beginnings. The start of a new school term and definitely a new school still makes me shudder. And I never really pursued any extra curricular stuff as a kid because it meant meeting new people. I just stayed in the safe zone as much as possible.

But there’s a little bit of our move which is exactly for this purpose. We wanted to take ourselves and our kids out of the safe zone. A couple of years ago I never expected to be speaking Portuguese to a postal worker in a sorting office with no knowledge of English about my missing post. But I did that today. It’s a little achievement, but a massive confidence boost that he actually understood me.

I’ve been driving along cliff edges on an unfamiliar side of the road in rural Portugal. We bought an old farm house that we intend to make into a well being centre and guest house. Individually, each one of us has a zone which becomes out of their comfort. Mine might not seem like much to some people, but I’m enjoying finding my zone and continuing to challenge it.

And that’s the ultimate goal for my kids. That they can feel the discomfort in walking into a new class room, karate group or football pitch, thrive and grow from it and enjoy their achievements. Overcoming new and different experiences can make us more rounded, happier people.

I always told my new clients this whenever they felt like entering the gym became too much for them. Gyms can be an intimidating place. That’s why just stepping into the gym as a new member is the first goal. Not a deadlift or 20 minute treadmill run, but just entering the gym. From then on, with consistency, each visit gets easier to do.

Perhaps you have a new challenge that you want to focus on in the new year? My advice is to take that first step. It might mean leaving your comfort zone, but it’ll feel all the more sweeter when you overcome it.

I’ll keep you informed on mine and my family’s achievements in the coming weeks. Be sure to tell me yours.

The 20%

I don’t want to bog you down with the diet conversation too much now. I’ve been blogging for over a year and a lot of my earlier content was about different diets, a calorie deficit and weight maintenance and seeing as the science on these subjects hasn’t changed in that time I don’t feel the need to repeat it. You can always look back in my posts to find the relevant reads for you.

But, especially at this time of year, I get lots of people asking me what the best diet is for a new year’s resolution or how to stick to a diet during the Christmas period.

Bearing in mind that I’m now living in a country where their bitoque dishes come with rice and excessive amounts of chips on the same plate (carbtastic!) and the best pastel de natas for a little sobremesa treat, I’m also keen to find that happy foodie head place where I can still meet weight maintenance goals and enjoy my meals.

Enter The 20%

I, like many others that I speak to, will say things like…

“I’ve quit smoking…

I’ve cut down on alcohol…

I’ve got kids/work/family/friends who depend on me and I get stressed…

I don’t need to train for a marathon/Olympics…

I just want to be fitter, healthier, stronger and happier.

Why can’t I just enjoy a freakin’ pizza if I want one?!!”

Well, here’s the thing. We can. We can have pizza, a burger, an extra Yorkshire pud on our Christmas dinner plate. But we need to stick to one rough bit of math. If we can consume 20% of the food and drink that are considered non-nutritional, then for the most of us we will be in a good weight maintenance place. And if the other 80% of the food is full of vitamins, proteins and nutrients, then there’s a good chance of weight reduction.

Let’s take the traditional Christmas lunch as an example. Turkey breast is a protein monster coming in at about 30g in a serving. And the vegetables…sprouts have a great fibre content with 8g per serving. Carrots promote bone health with high calcium and vitamin k content. Red cabbage reduces inflammation. Parsnips are full of vitamin C and can help regulate blood pressure.

Then there’s the potatoes. You can’t have a Christmas dinner without a few roasties. Rich in iron, they can improve digestion. So even if we add the pigs in blankets and Yorkshire pudding, we can safely say that we’re in the 80% zone for highly nutritious food. Leaving us with a good 20% to play with. Heck! We could even add a pate starter and a pudding as long as we keep to sensible portions.

But Christmas time is tricky for other reasons. The actual Christmas dinner is not the problem. The tub of celebrations, the nibbles and the Irish cream, now there’s the problem!

We can, however, still be indulgent. We can eat some chocolates and not the whole tub or have a few alcoholic drinks without drinking the bar dry.

Even on a day of celebration, we should still stick to 20% of non-nutritional drinks. Water, coffee, tea, juice, milk will all be your friend if you plan to have a drink to get tiddly and you’ll be grateful for the 80% of positive fluids by the next morning.

The Bottom Line

Whether it’s the festive period or not, every day you should be thinking about what positive, nutritional food you could have with your next meal. But omitting everything else that you might enjoy is often a counter productive practice, where you just end up resenting the process and being miserable. And sooner or later, you quit the process and start right back at the beginning…anxious with no idea where to turn.

Be mindful about the nutrition that you put into your body, but don’t cut out the other stuff entirely. Think 20%. That 20% might just keep you on track.

The Sea Needs To be Sailed

As I was finishing my workout yesterday I reflected back on what I had achieved during the session. Using unconventional methods, breeze blocks, trees and bottles filled with sand I recognized that, despite not having the equipment I was used to, I had a damn good workout. Was it perfect? No. Was it effective? Yes.

Bob Marley, when asked about perfection, said it best. “The moon is not perfect. It is full of craters. The Sea is incredibly beautiful but salty and dark in depth. The sky is always infinite but often cloudy. Not everything that is beautiful has to be perfect.”

The Sea needs to be sailed, swam and viewed to be appreciated and admired. It doesn’t have to be perfect.

Far too often as I watch fitness influencers I see a common theme. They aim to teach us the perfect form and the perfect diet. I also see many of them mock those who have poor gym form and much of their content becomes just a dig at their competitors or some poor random bloke performing lat raises.

Sure, poor form can lead to injuries, so practicing each day is very useful. But condemning those who don’t fall into the ‘gym bunny’ category with the perfect form with the perfect kit is not helpful.

I’m not a fitness influencer, but as a trainer who represents the industry I see my job as encouraging people to give it a go and discover activities that will help their health and fitness goals.

You don’t have to be the perfect runner, have the greatest knowledge or form in the gym, be the best swimmer or be able to walk for miles. You do, though, have to be open to trying out these things that make you move to find out what it is that you actually like to do.

There is no one method to get you healthier, fitter, stronger, faster etc (whatever your goal might be) apart from the method that you enjoy. The perfect routine doesn’t exist. The perfect gym form doesn’t even exist. There’s only a simple set of rules that can keep us safe from injury.

Stop looking for perfection and just find what you enjoy and work with it. It might not be right for the next person as long as it is right for you.

And now, in my moment, I think I’ve found what is right for me.

Here is my ‘gym’ that is working for my mental and physical health at the moment…

A wooden bench, a bar and two breeze blocks

A bar lodged between two branches for pull ups

A rickety old work stool to sit on for seated shoulder press

The weight rack AKA the detergent bottles filled with sand

Smoke And Mirrors

In light of the UK government’s recent announcement that they want to phase out the selling of cigarettes I thought that it would be remiss of me, as a fitness and wellbeing coach, to avoid the subject.

The problem is that when I proceed in talking about the UK’s current government on various platforms I can sense the ‘ban button’ being pressed.

However, I’m a fitness coach about to talk about smoking. I’m going to wholeheartedly agree with the government, right?

Well, no. In fact I find it a blatant attempt to gain votes in the next general election. The conservative government heavily relies on the older generation’s votes. And seeing as the over 65’s only make up around 8% of the smoking population it is bound to be a credible announcement to many of its potential voters. Especially when we are given the statistics on health related issues due to cigarette smoking and the burden this has on the National Health Service.

But hang on. Where do we draw the line here? According to NHS England the cost of smoking related costs to the NHS is £2.5 billion a year. Yet alcohol related illness costs £3.5 billion a year. And according to gov.uk, obesity costs the NHS a whopping £6.5 billion a year.

I think that we would all agree, these are serious issues in most western countries. Smoking, heavy drinking and obesity can contribute to ill health and therefore become a burden on the NHS in the UK.

As a fitness coach and as a father to two young boys, I would very much like smoking to be banned.

But as a realist I am going to aim for something different. I realise that there is a chance that my kids will try a ciggie with their mates and they probably drink alcohol before legal age. I don’t want them to, but if I manage the probabilities and potential outcomes then I think that I can navigate their moments of being pressured by their peers into exactly that, a kid trying to ‘fit in’ with their mates.

And when I consider all of the other stuff that kids can do to show off then trying a cigarette is the least of my concerns. Sex, class A drugs, bullying, dares along a rail track.

Blimey. If they just manage to throw a whity after trying a B&H then I’ll relieved!

I stopped smoking when I found out that Lou was pregnant with Jonas, so ten years ago. I regret smoking now and often think of the damage that I might have caused and how much money it will have cost. But I also remember sharing a cig with a friend who had just lost their dad. I remember the Cuban cigar on honeymoon as Lou and I lay on the Carribbean sand together. I remember making a few rollies for my bricky mates as we shared a banter over a lunch break. And I remember talking to total strangers in the rain outside a nightclub as we huddled together to try to stay dry before going back inside.

Now, I’m not condoning smoking, but I’m not going to condemn it either.

I grew up at a time when smoking was not just legal, but very much widely accepted. The adverts on TV, the daily newspapers and the magazines were ones which told us that smoking would give us a better social standing, greater health and a better life.

Although we now know this to be untrue, for those who have smoked cigarettes in the past we can perhaps see the benefits at the time. Whether to calm our nerves, to enjoy a moment with a cig and a cuppa, or as a social norm.

And if the media and the companies with their billions of pounds advertising campaigns are telling us that it is something that we should be doing, then it is perfectly reasonable to suggest that the pleasures of smoking cigarettes has been worming into our behaviour for centuries.

Indeed, the first cigarette ad campaign was in 1789 in America. How, then, are we supposed to just ban something that is so ingrained into our western society?

During PT consultations, clients would sometimes sheepishly tell me that they smoked. People seem to see me as a preacher for all things healthy. I’m really not. Like I say, I’m a realist. Rather than vilify them and tell them that they should quit, I ask them what steps THEY want to make to feel fitter, happier, healthier. Pizzas aren’t banned, wine isn’t banned, smoking isn’t banned. Not on my shift. My clients will make their own judgements on what they need to do in their own time.

If I were to start banning things from their life, they would do what many of us would do. Rebel. Us humans hate to be told what to do. We like to realise it for ourselves.

The bottom line is this…

I don’t think that banning cigarettes will make us or our children happier or healthier. I agree that certain products that we can legally buy should come with advisories, but allow us to make our own choices free of manipulating ad campaigns and I am confident that we can make good choices.

And if the parties that we vote for can be honest, then perhaps we can make better choices on voting day.

Sycamore Tree

Sometimes, I feel like a tree.

I can stand tall and firm during stormy weathers, despite my leaves and branches looking a little dishevelled from the whole experience.

I am frequently visited and loved by many, I know. But I can feel lonely and vulnerable too.

People come and talk to me and ask me stuff. Yes me! A tree! I try to give good advice. I have, after all, some years of experience at living life.

I am beautiful.

They can kick me. They can cut me down. They can destroy me.

But I am not the problem. They are.

And for all their destruction, my energy will continue to give the people who I love and who love me the strength that they need to carry on.

Sometimes, I feel like a tree. But I’m not. I am so grateful to share this planet with a tree because I’m not worthy.

I am beautiful. But I’m not a tree.