I’m sorry that I’ve been a little absent from my blogs recently. In all honesty, the last few days have felt a bit hectic. Not an unhappy, miserable sort of hectic. But not a dancing round in the sitting room in my undies listening to Harry Styles kind of hectic either (not that I’ve ever,ever,ever done that. Ever.)
It’s just seemed a 100 miles an hour over the past few days and I’m trying to spin the many plates that I’ve given myself.
I enjoy plate spinning when the plates aren’t crashing. In my circus I would be a decent plate spinner. Some days I’d even be bold enough to unicycle on the tight rope a hundred feet high and still spin the plates. But in the past few days, had the Ringmaster introduced me to the audience I would’ve tripped over my large clown shoes before getting to the stage. Of course, I would’ve gotten straight to my feet, smiled and tooted my big red nose and made the crowd laugh. That’s what I do.
Feeling under the weather on Sunday hasn’t helped where my head is now. I like to keep on top of things and my work doesn’t allow for illness. I stay strong and in control. But it isn’t a weakness to feel ill. It’s just that it rarely happens to me so when it does I feel a bit discombobulated.
My work not only helps me to understand others, but it helps me to understand myself too. When my trainees feel a bit out of sorts I totally get it. I’m not into the ‘no pain, no gain’ attitude to exercise. Sometimes just putting your training shoes on and doing what you can is massive. We’re not always on top of our game. It doesn’t need any great explanation or reasoning. It’s just how it is. Each day we wake up and try again.
It reminds me of a quote by Martin Luther King. He said…
“If you can’t fly then run. If you can’t run then walk. If you can’t walk then crawl. But whatever you do, you have to keep moving.”
You can’t be flying all of the time and when you realize this you can then be pleased with the little steps that you are able to do. When you are ready, you will take off again. Never give up.
My YouTube channel is here if you want to take a look!
I didn’t become a PT to make people feel inadequate in how they look. If you are unaccepting of your body now, no changes that you make to your body will make you any happier. The above link is a ten minute guide on body image affirmation.
I’m going to be creating more meditation guides in the future and I will, of course, be basing them on subjects that are close to me. Enjoy!
Yesterday my wife Louise and I celebrated 13 years of marriage. We’ve been together now for almost 16 years and we are still making a strong team.
As with any healthy relationship, we have had testing times too. But we work hard at keeping what we have because it is special. I think it comes down to communication. We try not to let things fester and address our issues by talking to each other as soon as we can. We support each other. Sometimes I’m the stronger one and sometimes it’s Lou.
I knew that I couldn’t continue my Support Worker career and be the father that I wanted to be. Lou made me believe in myself that a change was possible. The hours and the risks were making me unhappy and I knew that I would miss out on being a dad to our new born. Also, the wages aren’t enough for the responsibility of a Support Worker. Lou knew that health and fitness was my number one passion and she told me that I could be a PT. The cost of the course and the extra hours in attending it each weekend for almost a year on top of my full time job would be difficult to do, but Lou said that I must do it. She knew how important is was to me.
And then I returned the favour! A few years later and being a full time mum to two little boys, Lou needed to get back into work. I encouraged her to follow her dreams in going to college to learn holistic therapies. She now runs a successful business in the centre of Scarborough.
We could’ve played it safe. Staying in the same City that we knew, plodding on in the same jobs. But to get to this stage in our lives, we have lived in three different cities, two towns, 6 houses. We’ve created 3 successful businesses. We have worked together as support workers, Cafe managers, nightclub bar staff and shortbread biscuit entrepreneurs. Together, we’re quite a formidable team. And we’re not afraid to change something if it isn’t working or it is no longer enjoyable. As individuals we have changed and our relationship has evolved because of our need to change something that is not making us happy. Like I say, we don’t let anything fester.
Yesterday was a hoot. We both took the day off work and played the tourists in our hometown of Scarborough. When you live somewhere it’s easy to miss the beauty or the fun bits of it. Life becomes about getting to work and back, the weekly shop and getting the kids to school and extra curricular stuff. So yesterday we made it just about us and the fun to be had on South Bay and an evening meal at one of our favourite restaurants. Just looking through my photos it looks more like a pub crawl! I’m holding up a glass of something alcoholic in almost every picture! But it definitely wasn’t like that. I had appointments this morning so I stayed very sensible.
So here’s to the next 13 years. We’ll see how many more houses we can live in. One thing we haven’t done yet is take our business ideas to a different country and we are desperate to give that a go. Watch this space!
Below is a link to my Morning Positivity Meditation. This time next month I will be fully qualified to guide groups and 1-1 meditations and thought I’d share a preview.
I’m excited about this as I am passionate about the power of meditation and mental health. Anything we want to achieve physically always begins with a positive mindset in the first place.
Gym Classes are an excellent way to introduce yourself to formal exercises, meet new people with similar goals and to plan your fitness routine for consistency. From Stretch classes, Zumba, Spin and Boxercise the mainstream gym have covered it all. And being a Fitness Instructor myself I can see the fantastic benefits of booking onto a regular gym class….but it should come with a warning.
Here are my gripes on classes…
* Gyms that I am aware of are regularly putting on virtual classes. This seems to limit the cost of paying for a live instructor and can run throughout the day. I find this counterproductive from a gym going by the feedback that I receive as many gym members want live instructors and some have moved to other gyms to find them. A trained fitness instructor can manage the pace and intensity of the class and adapt workouts each week to fit the needs of their participants.
* I see more injuries occur in fitness classes than I do in the gym. An instructor cannot check the form of 30 class members. The classic exercises for poor form are deadlifts, bent over rows and kettlebell swings. In fact kettlebell classes are an injury waiting to happen. When you need to teach hip hinges, breathing and core control to a room full of people who see their half hour class as a way to ‘blast their abs’ or ‘fat burn’ it becomes an impossible task.
* When you think about the titles that they are given, such as those above (abs blast and fat burn are real life class titles) it is very misleading. An abs class once a week won’t get anybody a six pack. An abs class won’t do a great deal for stabilising core muscles. A fat burn class usually consists of fast paced reps that use exercises that require slow, controlled movement to focus on target muscles and avoid injury. Getting these movements right and incorporating them in a fitness programme is essential for all types of fitness goals, but repping out as many deadlifts as you can in 60 seconds won’t. Yes it burns calories, but put your back out and you won’t be burning those calories again until you’ve recovered from your injury.
* Classes can be demoralising for lots of people. They feel inferior compared to those around them. Yet many class goers have been going to the same class for years and might know what to do. If they know the instructor then they will probably know what equipment is used and what exercise is next. They probably even know that the class starts with Rock DJ and finishes on a club version of Castle On The Hill. But new people might feel out of their depth. Which leads me onto my recommendation…
Oh do tell Shay!!
Well, for anyone going to a new gym and are a little apprehensive or have never been to one before I would suggest hiring a good PT (a good one! Not a Poundland special) and learning how to move correctly. Of course I would say that, I’m a PT right?! Yeah but Brian who is reading this at his home in Penikuik won’t be hiring me 1-1 so it’s of no great advantage to me. It is, however, sound advice.
5 sets of ten deadlifts will be far more important to a gym goers goals than a class when they first start out on their journey. When to breath, how to engage the core, foot placement, hip hinge, strength and stamina building, morale boosting and goal setting are all of things that will be learnt fairly early on in regular PT sessions. None of which are taught with any great depth (if at all) by Mr Motivator at the front of the class whooping and jumping like a Duracell Bunny on speed.
The Journey should begin on the gym floor, not collapsing on a class floor.
Thanks for reading! If you enjoy my blogs then check out some of the other stuff too. See you soon!
In 2003 the California Coastal Records Project wanted to take pictures in the Malibu area to record the cause of coastal erosion. But in doing so, they inadvertently took photographs of Barbera Streisand’s home.
As you can imagine, in the affluent area of Malibu, her house was one of many big houses with acres of land and nobody knew that it was Streisand’s home. In fact, nobody really cared.
It was only when her lawyers brought attention to this picture and accused the photographer of breaking privacy rights did the whole world suddenly care about where Streisand lived. Her house was now being shared on the newest sharing networks at the time and every newspaper in the world had published the picture of Streisand’s home.
The acts of Streisand and her lawyers not only created the opposite effect of what they wanted, but it escalated into what we now know as The Streisand Effect. Attempting to prohibit something which leads to increased attention.
Have you ever had an experience where you have tried to prohibit something which leads you to want this forbidden fruit even more?
As a coach specialising in weight control I have come across people trying to ban chocolate, crisps, takeaways, carbs, fats, eating before a certain time, eating after a certain time. They’ve tried to cancel alcohol, bread, cheese, coca cola and even some types of fruit and veg because they have been told that it will contribute to their weight gain.
9 times out of 10, when they banned a type of food, this tactic exploded in their face and led to a situation that became out of control. Suddenly, this food type is wanted even more because of the restrictions put upon it.
It’s like when I tell my kids that I have just painted the door frame you can bet that they touch it. And it’s not just my kids. If my wife tells me that the bath water is too hot I will get in anyway and have two red arse cheeks while I try to place my feet on each side of the tub to hover above the lava like, hotter than hell, water below.
Like the media frenzy at Streisand’s lawyers calling for privacy rights, we begin to obsess at what we are told we shouldn’t see, do and eat.
In the month before the lawsuit, the picture had been downloaded 6 times. The month following the lawsuit the picture had been downloaded 420,000 times.
In my personal experience if I agree to a takeaway every 4 weeks then I give myself a happy compromise. If I tell myself that takeaways are banned then I would want one this coming weekend. I also like cheese. I know that I go through periods of eating too much of it. Yet if I can develope a habit where I have one evening a week where I eat cheese and biscuits rather than cut cheese out of my diet altogether then I won’t feel resentment or frustration towards my health and fitness goals. In fact I have found that I go without cheese and biscuits for weeks and weeks now because it just isn’t a part of my thoughts. I created a positive habit that became so constructive that my obsession for cheese wasn’t even a thing anymore.
And if you’re wondering what happened to the lawsuit, it was dropped later that year. The paradoxical effect had already done the damage.
If you have any questions regarding weight control then please get in touch. Thanks for reading. See you soon!
A picture of my house instead of Streisand’s house as I don’t want to get sued.
Father’s Day and the whole of the weekend was a nutritional disaster. Well, actually it wasn’t. I bloody loved my low value nutritional feast! What’s disastrous about that? But here’s why I allowed such a diet and why I can look back at a great weekend guilt free…
On Saturday (the day before Father’s Day) I met up with my dad with my family and his friends in a beer garden at Cayton Bay. Firstly I was happy to drive. A few hours drinking in the sun doesn’t appeal to me like it did once upon a time. I have kids, I have an online business that can require my attention at any time and I’m a tight Yorkshireman. Pints were £1.50 the last time I had any interest in drinking all day in a pub beer garden. So me not drinking didn’t have anything to do with my diet which requires me to be in a calorie deficit. I made up with it with the BBQ that the pub had provided.
On the Sunday we travelled to see my in laws. Graham’s famous paella was on offer plus burgers and chips. It was on offer so, of course, I ate it. Over the two days here’s what I had to eat in total…
* 6 scrambled eggs with two slices of tiger bread
* 4 cheese burgers
* 1 wild boar hot dog
* beef curry and fried rice takeaway
* 4 portions of chips
* Seafood salad
* 1 family sized bar of chocolate
* half box of Pringles
My protein is actually quite high from the weekend, but so are my calories! And I don’t care.
There are occasions in the year that we need to give ourselves a break. I’m dedicated to my goals but, because I’m dedicated, I don’t allow my goals to become a chain around my neck. I make sure that I don’t resent my goals or the process. I’m not an athlete. Yes, I’m a Personal Trainer but I’m also a regular person that wants to enjoy family holidays, Christmas, anniversaries and family gatherings. I’m not a footballer going to bed early on Christmas night because of the early kick off on Boxing Day. Pay me a Premier League wage and I’ll do it!
But I am mentally prepared for what these ‘breaks’ within my goals will require. It means that today, the day after my indulgence, I have to become disciplined again. By the end of the week any added calories from the weekend will be balanced out with structure and commitment. I can still enjoy these moments with my family and bring my nutrition, macros and calories back in line without anxiety.
I chose to binge and over indulge at the weekend. I now choose to track calories and my nutrition. I choose to train hard this week and at least make use of all the energy that I put into my body! It is all my choice. Not once did I feel out of control.
I work with some people who are trying to find that balance. One high calorie and low nutrition day can create their eating habits to spiral. One day leads to another. And another. They become frustrated and angry with themselves and they feel like giving in.
But I need to tell them and anyone who will listen that they don’t have to! One, two bad days. Jeez even a week of poor choices doesn’t ruin their hard work. What they do with their next week might and the week after that perhaps. Because that is where habits begin to form. But a few days? No. Not if they remain in control.
We can choose the high calorie and low nutrition foods if we know that we won’t be anxious about it. Enjoy it and move on. But it’s the moving on that is the vital component. We need to move on from poor food choices.
I felt great this morning. I had a lovely weekend celebrating Father’s Day. I ate what I wanted with no regrets and I was ready to focus once again. In many ways I think I needed that weekend. I needed to break the monotony of my structure. As much as I enjoy my structure, I like burgers and Chinese takeaway too!
And Here’s The Icing On The Cake…
The saying “You can’t outrun a bad diet” is true. Because eventually your poor choices will catch up with you and running will become harder anyway. But if you have structure with your meals and in your workouts then you can outrun a poor day, weekend or holiday. And then the only reason it would be poor is if you didn’t enjoy it and you became anxious about the calorie density of each choice. It would only be poor if you allowed yourself to form negative habits around food.
I enjoy food. All food. But I remain in control and look forward to another occasion where I can over indulge again. But until then, I choose to be in control of my diet and enjoy the process and its results.
Thank you for taking the time to read this article. See you soon!
I want to share with you the difference between a Process Focussed attitude and an Outcome Focussed attitude. Because when you can give yourself a little tap on the shoulder and remind yourself of the process then the outcome will eventually happen. I promise.
It All Needs A Process
I am so, so good at this in the gym with myself and my clients. I focus entirely on the process. That is my job. It’s what I am trained and disciplined in. But outside of the gym I have goals that I want now…right this second! And in frustration of not being able to get them right now means that the process gets crumpled up and torn like a handy pocket road map that has been stomped on during my tantrums. Had I kept a level head, the road map would still be intact and it would be easier to follow. The tap on the shoulder from myself, a professional, a partner or a friend can work wonders in working out the process for anything. A career move, a life skill, family life and health and fitness goals. It all needs a process.
Sometimes we just see a 10k run, a dress size, a one rep max or a weight loss target. The finer details of how we are getting there is the real key.
In football, the skill isn’t knowing that you need to score more goals than the opposition, it is how you’re going to do it. You can give any sporting example of this and it remains the same. The process needs to be the focus. The outcome harbours great rewards, but without the process you won’t get there.
Frustrations Of The Outcome Focus
So I’m not getting on my high horse here and telling you that I do everything perfectly and you need to step up. You might be able to help me find my process in other aspects of life with your skills. But I’m here to talk about fitness goals. And I’ve been prompted to give it a mention because the gym is full of outcome focussed people. They press, lift, run and jump without any attention to their process. They just want the results. And this can lead to frustration and in many cases injury.
And when you figure out a process for one thing, other parts of your life can begin to take shape too. Have you ever experienced getting a promotion in your career and found that your relationships in your private life improved? You have followed a process and met deadlines, hit targets, gave your colleagues morale boosts or took them under your wing and you got rewarded in your promotion. This made you feel good in other aspects of your life too.
It’s the same in your fitness goals. Once you begin a process in your fitness goals then you begin to focus on your day to day tasks that make up the little wins. And it’s not just about doing this in a gym. Imagine going for a walk with a friend or a partner away from the daily grind. Here you can discuss your ambitions, your feelings or put the world to rights. You feel great and you’ve managed a few thousand steps as well. Make this a regular exercise and you have started the process for your mental and physical health.
Becoming process focussed takes away the big issue that seems, at times, unobtainable…the outcome. To grow muscle you can’t just lift heavy stuff a lot. To lose weight healthily you can’t just eat less. To get a job promotion you can’t just turn up to an interview. To make a relationship work you can’t just add them as a Facebook friend. You need to work hard at a process that works to get the things that you want.
Small Victories Are Important
Focussing on the outcome will keep us bitter and when we have no way of getting there we give up. In my Coaching App it’s exactly what I do for hundreds of people. I’m the tap on the shoulder that reminds them of the process and enables people to reach their goals without even realising. That’s because they have enjoyed a journey that took them way beyond the anxieties of ‘ needing to lose a couple of stone’. They did that, but also found that they were in control of their life much more than when they had no direction. It became a foundation for their success. Focus and celebrate the small victories. It’s those that become the big ones.
Thank you for reading my article. If you need further advice on where to begin with your fitness process then do get in touch. I might be able to help.
As a kid I used to love watching magic shows. From Paul Daniels producing a rabbit from a hat to David Blaine’s street performances of him levitating and having the crowd of onlookers agog at his seemingly supernatural abilities.
After a while though, perhaps around the time I realized that Santa wasn’t real, the magic wasn’t real for me anymore. I much preferred knowing the how and why of a magician’s trickery than becoming submerged in the mystery of it. I had seen people ‘magically’ being sawn in half a thousand times and even entire buildings disappear, but I just wanted to know how it was done.
Back in the 90’s a masked magician turned up on our screens called Val Valentino. The show was called Breaking The Magician’s Code where he would perform the trick and then explain how it was done. This didn’t go down well with traditional magicians who were in the Magician’s Circle, where you take the secrets of magic to your grave. Valentino was seen among his peers as a magician who had betrayed his community.
Valentino justified his actions by saying that he “wanted to get people talking again about the magical arts” as he began to recognize the impact that technology and the internet would have in the profession and “magicians were becoming complacent”. Maybe he did change the world of magic. Pulling a rabbit out if a hat became old skool. Along came the likes of Blaine and Derren Brown to revamp the art.
Keeping The Audience Interested
I’ll be totally honest. My profession needs a kick up the arse too. I hear so much about different methods, techniques and formulas from Coaches and Personal Trainers and I have my own methods that I introduce to my clients too. I’m not disrespecting anybody’s work here. But it’s time that we were honest with the public. Whatever plan, method or technique a PT wishes to use and endorse it is not reinventing the wheel. They have not just come up with the newest ‘fat burning plan that will change the world’. What they have done is come up with a catchy title and a workout that keeps you active, a programme that keeps you interested. and a mindset that empowers your nutritional choices.
A trainer’s method should include…
* A plan that works for YOU and YOUR lifestyle. Not a copy and paste.
* Achievable goals. This can include a new Personal best in how far you have walked/run or it could be a certain weight lifted. It could also be goals to hit a certain macro target this week. Achieving this will create a better chance of hitting your big goals.
* Regular check ins and discussion opportunities. You should be able to talk to your trainer whenever you need to.
There are many good trainers that are providing this service, but it doesn’t matter if they call their programme…
* 60 day fat shred
* 16 week couch to 5k
* 6 week summer body
* The little Black Dress
* 40 day toner
Or the latest method that I have recently created…
* Rep 420 Challenge
They should all have the same theme. It should encourage more movement in a fun and engaging way which promotes mindful eating and a healthy lifestyle. There is no secret formula that a coach has invented. They have simply created a method that they feel will inspire their client to stick to it. Because a method that nobody wants to stick to is not going to work. No tricks. No magic or mystery. Just a method that keeps the audience interested.
My Rep 420 Challenge is a method of creating full body workouts for busy people in a fun and achievable way. It allows the trainee to hit every muscle group without the tedious task of completing a ‘leg day’ or a ‘chest day’. How many gym visits do you need to hit every individual muscle group? I work in a gym. I usually have the time. But the regular person wanting to tone up a little and lose a few pounds doesn’t. I understand that.
The Final Act
But I haven’t waved a magic wand and made the Statue Of Liberty disappear by creating it. I simply engaged the audience and gave them a direction on what to focus on. They become as committed to the final act as I do not through any art of deception or hocus pocus, but by providing simple answers to their questions.
Telling someone to move a bit more and eat a bit less to lose weight is not the greatest advice. But providing a sustainable structure to build into their lifestyle is. That’s where the real magic happens.
Cheese is grate, but this is just for the kids dinner.
Allow me to introduce myself.
My name is Shay. I’m a Personal Trainer from Scarborough, UK, who does a really crap Wallace And Gromit impression. My wife, Lou, is from Wensleydale and after hearing just about the whole world shout “Where’s mi cheese Gromit?!” Every time she says where she is from, she can confirm that mine is one of the worst.
Hmmmm. Cheese though. It’s nice.
And in the past few weeks I have limited my cheese eating for the sake of a recent calorie cut. Around May each year I begin to make slight adjustments to my diet and I take my calorie consumption into a deficit. But notice how I say ‘limited’ my cheese consumption. I have reduced the amount that I eat each week so that I am no longer eating stilton and crackers every night.
It also means that instead of drinking the Off License dry I will stick to a few gin and tonics on a weekend.
And if an occasion crops up where others are eating and drinking in celebration then I might partake in a (large) slither of cheese and a (goldfish bowl size) glass of Rioja. This Daddy won’t be hungry or thirsty on Father’s Day!
I will be fairly strict, however, in my day to day nutrition to stick to my deficit. But I won’t be banning anything. I’m not out to punish myself. I don’t want it to make me unhappy. I like food. I like training. I like results. Those three work well together if they are managed sensibly. So there has to be compromises if I want these results and stay happy.
To create my deficit I am not particularly changing my lifestyle in any major way. Sure, I need to change certain habits for it to work. I need to remain mindful of my goals. And most importantly, I must stay focussed on why I want these goals. It’s not just for the aesthetics.
Negative habits can escalate. Before you know it you’ve drunk alcohol ever night this week. The jeans or dress stays in the wardrobe for another year. You won’t be fitting into that anytime soon. It’s depressing. Out comes the huge slab of Cheddar and a pack of Jacobs crackers for comfort again. And then a bar of chocolate to sweeten the palate. The habit grows stronger.
I’m 43 now. I don’t want to be a knackered old dad who can hardly run up and down the park playing Tig with my kids. I don’t want my dad to have to bury me. I don’t want to leave Lou to bring up two kids on her own while she tries to answer their questions of why daddy died.
“He drank every night, didn’t exercise properly and ate crap every day kids.” Isn’t what I want my kids to hear.
“He was hit by a bus”. Sounds much cooler if I’ve really got to leave this mortal realm before full time.
Creating these targets and goals throughout the year keeps me on my toes. It brings me back down to earth. I’ll eat what I like, but I’ll spread the love a little thinner for a while rather than binging on it day after day.
So if you hear me asking “Where’s mi cheese?” In a really bad Wallace voice, then ignore me. Lou does.
Ask to join my app if you would like to try the Balanced Plate Challenge with me and my trainees!
Never Give Up PT 