behaviour – Page 12 – Never Give Up PT

Two Covered Eyes…

I have spoken lots on the need for progression in my talks, in my Personal Training and through blogs and social media and this is because, undoubtedly, it is the most important factor in opening the soul to the countless opportunities that we can give ourselves.

Developing the tools to equip those who desire to find their progression is my job. Standing next to someone and counting reps is what I let other PT’s do. But it goes beyond the gym floor. Indeed it has to extend to the world beyond the gym floor for successful progression to take place. I have not encountered one person yet who has fulfilled their fitness goals when the rest of their lives have been in chaos.

Progressive Overload is a term used to describe a training program that takes us through a number of challenges such as weight load, rep counts, how many sets and rest periods. In fact the progression one can develop in a fitness regime is infinite as there are so many factors attributed to fitness. Strength, speed, stamina, even life longevity all fit into this category. And without personal progression outside of your training program the progressive overload that we seek within our program is stumped.

But we must be open to change and this is where we fail. It is said that caged birds think that flying is a crime. We invest so much time in our surroundings that it becomes a part of us, etched firmly into our mind disabling us from spreading our wings and flying away.

We are so afraid of change that we criticize and often ostracise those who do change or who challenge the need for change.

We have been caged. In the gym we use the Adductor machine every session because the gym put it there and the instructor gave a vague explanation of what it does. A gym member asked me once what the Adductor machine does and I replied ‘Nothing unless you incorporate it into a full body routine including squats and deadlifts’. I gave them my card. I never heard from them again. For them to call me and ask for a full body routine would require them changing their own routine.

I was also asked recently what equipment is good for the belly. ‘Honestly?’ I replied, ‘None of them.’ I gave a few tips on core strengthening in which she replied ‘But I can do them at home’. And there she had her answer.

A gym membership is only useful if you know what to do in a gym. But moving regularly and mindful eating can be done outside of a gym and is great for the belly. It saves a few quid too. That can be classed as progression, but as I have outlined in two examples, if we haven’t got the right tools to progress or refuse the tools in the first place then progression is so much harder to find. Moving is great, but how we move can be better and more progressive.

We are animals that work within our comfort zones. If we applied a heat map to our movement in a gym the same areas would be covered. A part of my childhood was going to the local Working Men’s Club on Friday and Saturday evenings. If anybody sat out of place their name would be mud for the evening and if a newcomer ever won the bingo the shock around the room would be palpable. Something different had happened to the regulars of the club and they were unsettled by the change. Their Saturday night was ruined.

“I’ve never seen them in ere before Mavis”

How many of us go to the same treadmill if it is available? In a fitness class, who stands in the same place waiting for the instructor to begin? And when we go home after our workout, do you sit in the same chair? I know that I do.

But these little quirks don’t hinder our progress. Its the big ones that do. Staying in a job you hate. Going back to a toxic relationship. Looking in the mirror and hating what you see. These are the things that we need to change and it is only you who can change your own progression when you allow yourself to. Two covered eyes can be taught how to see, but a blind mind cannot.

It Doesn’t Get Easier, You Just Get Stronger

Some days I still feel like a kid. The vulnerable child that would put his head under the duvet and weep. My childhood wasn’t one of fear or sadness, but I had the usual anxieties in fitting in with my peers, scared of my parents dying or feeling lonely in a very big world.

If only my life would allow my older self a few minutes sometimes to just put my head under the duvet. After all, the same anxieties are there. But it doesn’t. You might feel the same too. Life doesn’t take a time out just for you so that you can reset and face the world again. It keeps going. And the older I seem to get, the faster it keeps going.

Life doesn’t get any easier, we just need to get stronger.

I’ve been approached by uninformed people at a previous gym that I trained in that have asked ‘how are you a PT at your age?’ or ‘why aren’t you ripped if you know what to do?’

It is a misconception that to be a PT you need a six pack all year round and you need to be young. Unfortunately, even within the PT circles, this is the belief. But that is why I’ll still have a Coaching business in 10 years time. I appeal to 99% of mainstream gym goers and I use my previous work experience to run a successful business. I am one of the gym members. That makes my job easier.

But another misconception of being a PT is that I train people to be fitter, to run more or to lift heavier.

I want my trainees to acquire these physical attributes if that is their goal, but my main focus is for them to become mentally stronger.

Benching 70k one month and 80k the next is fairly straightforward for our physical form to do. But mentally you need to be strong. If you aren’t, you will become frustrated and you will give up. Training your brain to accept that 1% improvement is a big achievement and much more productive in anything, not just the gym. But for me, life and my training are linked.

When I perform a back squat, for me the barbell represents the world with the weight on my shoulders. So I squat the hell out of it. Its not going to bring me down. Not today. It enables me to take this strength and power into my every day life. I no longer need the duvet. Today I am strong.

And it doesn’t matter how many plates were on the bar. That isn’t what makes me stronger. Its the fact that I did it. That is the key to becoming stronger. Just doing it.

Nothing gets easier, we just get better at it. This rumbling snowball of life quickly rolling towards you as it accumulates more and more stress and angst is something that we learn to outrun. We learn to pick it up and throw it. We teach ourselves to take the hit if we have to and we grow more powerful than it.

We put it on our backs, feel the weight, squat it and put it back on the rack. And we’ve survived another day.

The Great British Sausage Off

Comparing my sausages on a Sunday morning and putting a timer on my phone to take a picture of them is not what I imagined doing this Sunday. But my wife is in the bath and my kids are perfecting their Fortnite dances in the living room so I thought I’d make them a breakfast. Out came the sausages.

Meat or vegetarian? Will my kids know the difference?!

For those who have followed my previous posts you might remember that my wife did the whole Vegan-uary thing in January. She totally embraced and enjoyed it. And although I didn’t commit to this, due to living and eating together for most meals, my meals became animal free too.

I eat meat. I like eggs, butter and my one true addiction…cheese. Eggs are a versatile, quick and easy protein source and butter is dolloped onto my crumpets far too often. But I could probably take them out of my diet fairly easily. And I can go days now without eating meat thanks to my wife. But cheese?

We will only have a ‘full english’ breakfast once a month. There are a number of reasons for this. We usually have early activities to do with the kids at the weekend so we opt for quicker meals. Also I can rarely eat as early as the kids wake up times so I will prepare their breakfast way before my wife and I are ready to eat.

But today my eldest has no football match to go to and it has been a casual Sunday morning. A Steve Wright love songs on radio 2 sort of morning. As I lay in bed my thoughts turned to sausages.

My kids are needing a little bit more convincing when it comes to meat free alternatives, but the breakfast I’m cooking this morning will be with Linda McCarney’s vegetarian sausages. I’ve had them before and I’m confident that they will like them…as long as I don’t tell them!

Are we preconditioned to eat meat? Does society sway our young minds to choose meat? At school my kids have options for meat or meat free, but unless they’re happy to eat a jacket potato every day the meat free options are limited. There’s still a stigma to vegetarian meals and certainly to vegan meals that they are boring. Maybe some schools and, for us adults who go to restaurants, this might be the case. The animal free section of the menu might be a little uninspiring.

I’ll be sure to update you on how my vegetarian sausages did with the kids but for now I must sign off as they’ll never eat them if they burn in the oven. A charcoaled sausage in whatever form it arrives onto your plate is never going to be a success.

Sport

Watching the rise and fall of Russian figure skater Kamila Valieva who, at 15, has been embroiled in a doping scandal leading to disappointing performances at the Winter Olympics has been heartbreaking to watch.

It just looks to me that so many adults around her have let her down. And it makes me wonder if 15 is too young for that level of competition in the first place.

But sport, at any level and any age, can be brutal to our mental health. I worry about my kids entering a sport. Already my eight year old, being extremely talented at football, is creating an interest from local scouts. But when he got a chance to shine at a Leeds Utd trial he froze. The game, I can only imagine, had been taken from being fun for him to being judged on his performance.

Even at an under 8’s sport, we begin to judge the ability of it’s participants. And if a kid is lucky or good enough to join an academy or a professional club, the statistics of them getting anywhere near the first team of a Premier League club is virtually zero. In fact a kid in an academy right now has less than 1% chance of making even non league level when they’re old enough. So as much as I’ll encourage my kid’s sporting activities, I’ll be making sure that they do their academic homework!

One thing that the average person seems to forget is that their training regime is also a sport. The gym is the arena. But who then are our opponents? Every sport is a competition, right?

Each session needs to be carefully drawn out to get the best results. Pep Guardiolo won’t send his team onto the pitch without a plan of action. A gym goer shouldn’t enter the gym without some sort of a plan either.

But one thing that we do know is that whatever the plan might be you must enjoy doing it. I can’t imagine Kamila Valieva enjoying the past week, just like my 8 year old didn’t enjoy traveling 2 hours to play with other kids he didn’t know. If somebody told me to run an hour on the treadmill every day I would quit the gym. It needs to be enjoyed.

When somebody tells me that their goal is to lose weight I know how to plan this for them and within 5 minutes of talking to them I will know what they will enjoy doing to achieve it. A macro goal such as weight loss is as good as a football coach telling their players that they need to kick a ball. It is how to kick it, where to kick it and who to kick it to that needs to be executed with a process and detailed planning.

Every sport, even the gym sessions, need tactics.

So who is the competition of this sport?

Is it the 25 year old dude who benches twice what you do?

Is it the person on the treadmill that is running faster than you?

No.

The competition is yesterday’s you. And figuring out how to out perform your yesterday’s you is your victory today.

And not all victories come in the form of a PB lift or a run. If you are smiling more today than you did yesterday then you are seriously winning.

So keep on getting those little victories, because it’s the little ones that will see you win gold one day.

The Concorde Project

My laptop is old. When I load it up it’s whirring and it’s wheezing makes a supersonic jet plane taking off sound quiet. And still every night I crank the old thing up and do my work. Eventually. It takes a while.

The other night I was obviously quite animated as I waited for the screen to appear. It was loading, I’m sure of that. Mrs Baggins at number 44 could have told me that.

The noise. My tapping foot. The occasional frustrated looks I gave towards my wife as she turned the volume up on Corrie. 20 minutes. 30 minutes. I waited.

Eventually my wife said,’The boys have got their Chrome book that you can use to do your work.’

I knew that. I knew it before I opened the laptop up that evening and I’ve know it since Christmas day when Santa had left them it. But I have fallen for an old psychological trick. And even though I know it, I’m sure to be winding up my old cronk of a machine instead of their new sparkly Chrome book tonight. And I probably will until it gulps it’s last bellowing breath.

I have invested so much time on my laptop which has my emails, passwords, data, downloads, files and pictures on there that I am refusing to let go, even though I know that this can be created and transferred onto a newer model. And when my wife said that I could use the Chrome book, I didn’t want to feel like I had lost 40 minutes of my life just to start again on a different device so I stubbornly carried on.

Economists call this The Sunk Cost fallacy. Because of what has already been invested into a project, one fails to stop and cut ones losses and proceeds regardless wasting more money. And in my case energy and time.

In 1956 the UK and France decided to build a supersonic jet. They called it the Concorde Project. After hundreds of millions of tax payers money and wasted time and effort they eventually built The Concorde. They knew long before it finally took off in 1973 that they would never recover their losses. It became one of the biggest financial misadventures of the 20th Century. Yet they continued to build it. Its final flight was in 2013 and remained millions of pounds in debt.

We all fall for this trap. We remain in jobs that we are undervalued in because it is what we have done for years. We stay in relationships that are toxic because we become numb to it. We live in a town that we hate because our parents and grandparents lived there and it’s where our crappy jobs are and our toxic ‘friends’ are. We have invested so much time, energy and money into something so much so that we fear just letting it go.

And one thing that I see, day upon day, are gym goers falling into the same fallacy. Burt sits on the Arm Pedal bike each day because he has done it for the past 3 years. Terry rocks in the ab machine each day and why? You’ve guessed it, he’s done it for years. He has invested years in getting a six pack. It won’t happen on that machine but if I can be stubborn enough to crank my machine up every night and governments can be wasteful enough to crank their machine up why can’t Terry sit on his machine?!

When we invest so heavily in something, we find it difficult to let go. Even when we know it is wrong, wasteful, dangerous or counter productive. We will spend hours in the gym each week doing the same thing as we were doing 5 years ago. The same class. Same weights. Same reps. Same machines.

I can offer an alternative to the gym goer, much like my wife offered an alternative to my failing laptop, but the sunk cost fallacy is a psychological burden for even the most determined and logical of people. I can get Burt where he wants to be in 6 months, but he’ll still be arm pedalling in 6 years. And he’s probably been conditioned to believe that it will work.

Why?

Because just like my laptop tells me to ‘wait one moment’…

And like the UK and French governments were told by the Supersonic Aircraft Committee that they would ‘revolutionize’ how we fly…

Burt was probably told by a professional to sit on that and pedal for an hour while they took his money and did fuck all.

And because of the time and effort he has already wasted, there’s no chance he’s giving up now.

Today I Am A Monster

Today I am a demonic monster. That is the image that I put into my blog and on social media. Therefore it must be true.

Yet it isn’t, is it? Because behind the keyboard and with a click of a button I can tell you what I am and it is believed. Social media allows us all to be whatever we want to be. But social media isn’t real life.

If I wanted to super reduce my calories for a few weeks, suck my belly in, take a posed picture of myself and filter it I would look ripped. An instant six pack.

But I don’t want to dupe my followers or trainees. I don’t want to give people the wrong idea of what having a healthy body looks like.

I get dozens of images of posed pictures of trainers on my feed asking me to ‘sign up’ or ‘try this’ because of the algorithms on social media. It assumes that it is giving me the content most relevant to me. I’ve been in the industry too long and I’ve witnessed every trick in the book.

There might be 99% of people that their post will reach that smells the bullshit, but the 1% who buy the magic diet pill will make them a lot of money.

On social media I see people chuffed to bits sharing their bouquet of flowers on valentine’s, but are miserable as sin with their partners for the rest of the year.

I see family photos of a family and their angelic kids. A lovely moment captured yes, but we never see the kids kicking and screaming at each other and their parents losing their minds five minutes after their lovely photo. And it happens. I’ve just described my family and I know we’re not the only ones.

But it leaves the observer confused, frustrated and depressed.

Why can’t I look like them?

Why don’t I get flowers like that?

Why won’t my children behave as well as those kids?

But all we have seen is a snippet, a moment deemed suitable to share to the world. Add a bit of filter and we can all look like the idyllic movie star or The Waltons.

Social media is not real.

I am not a stage ready bodybuilder but I can be. I haven’t got hair but I can have. I am not the perfect father but I can show you my perfect father moments. I’m not the perfect husband but I can show you the flowers I bought my wife.

I am not a monster and nor am I perfect, but if I wanted you to believe that I was either one, then I am a filtered picture away from you believing that I was.

FAQ’s

Why do you say fat loss instead of weight loss?

We can lose weight by drinking less fluid, going to the toilet more, vomiting our food, chopping our arms off or not eating at all. Losing fat and monitoring your fat body levels is a process that is sustainable for life by eating and exercising correctly. I sometimes use weight loss because it is universally understood by all of us that are influenced by media.

Why is programming your fitness so important?

Fitness regime’s get stagnant. Before we know it we have spent the past year lifting the same weights and running the same distance. Not only does it get boring, but your body stops responding to it. New challenges need to be constructed and developed over time.

How often do you train?

5x a week lasting from 45 minutes a session to 2 hours. It depends on how much time I have between training my clients and family commitments. I don’t train on weekends as this seems like a good time for my body to rest and have precious family time

Why do you train?

For my mental health, to feel good about myself, accomplishment, mindset and focus for other aspects of my life and I want to be able to remain active and independent in later life.

But we’re all going to die anyway, why be so obsessed about your fitness?

That’s like saying I’m going to die anyway so why obsess about eating. I eat because it keeps me alive and it makes me feel good. Same as training. I might get cancer or get hit by a bus and die tomorrow. I want a 170k PB deadlift before that happens and I’ll want a Donner kebab with onions and chilli sauce with a side portion of chips and a glass of Merlot too.

What gets you out of bed on a morning?

The thought of a 170k PB deadlift, a Donner kebab with onions and chilli sauce with a side portion of chips and a glass of Merlot (and my wife, kids and work!)

A Short Update…

Little did I know that this time two years ago I would be about to lose my sanctuary (the gym), I would have to fight to keep hold of my business, I would be home schooling my kids, our bank balance and savings would all but disappear and I would be told that if I left my home for more than an hour at a time I could catch a killer desease.

No. It’s not from a Horror movie. In the UK, Covid lockdown restrictions began in late March.

Just before it happened my business as a PT was strong with happy trainees and new people wanting to join. My own training was pretty good and I had a nutrition plan that I was sticking to. My wife was ready to begin a new business and my kids were thriving at school and in extra curricular activities. Our dream of taking our business ideas to Southern France was taking shape.

But March 2020 happened. Trust me this isnt a sob story. My family and friends have stayed healthy and we’ve all rode the waves of two years of restrictions and uncertainties. We’re lucky.

Below is an illustration of how my fitness journey went over the past two years. Top is from May 2020. The sun was shining. I couldn’t leave the house. The BBQ was cranked up daily and a cold beer or G&T time seemed to get earlier by the day. It was boring and stressful. My fitness suffered. Apart from a few token squats as I tried to encourage my kids to exercise to Joe Wicks I didn’t train myself.

Bottom left is from a year later. So three lockdowns (and gym closures) later. Of course I was keen to train when the gym managed to be open and I could go to work but my diet had suffered and I was still trying to cut my alcohol intake down.

Bottom right is from today, Feb 2022. My Programming and nutritioning has been strict for a few months now and alcohol is limited to weekends. Even then I’ve done a dry October and a dry January and, if I’m being honest, I don’t miss it when I don’t drink. Maybe my habit was out of stress?

My journey is far from finished. Indeed, my journey will never end! I’m not looking for a destination.

So there you go, a short update about me, my last two years and my journey so far. Onwards and upwards so they say!

We Are Always Learning Something New.

One of the qualifications that I wanted once I passed as a Personal Trainer was one enabling me to teach boxing. Those within the industry will know that there are lots of different qualifications associated with boxing and martial arts and the Ricky Hatton boxing instructor certification was a popular choice among my PT friends.

But I wanted to make money from my qualifications. I was about to start my PT career at Pure Gym in Leeds. Most of their members aren’t Ricky Hatton and don’t aspire to be. Why would I want a qualification to spa with Tyson Fury costing three grand when I’m more likely to have Tina from Morley paying me to shift a few pounds? I opted for the Boxing For Exercise qualification at a quarter of the cost and it has served me well. I have trained in boxing and kickboxing previously and, as I gained my knowledge at teaching it on my course, many of my trainees have had success at incorporating kickboxing into their fitness programs. I also teach Boxercise which is a very popular class.

Imagine my surprise when, having just passed my Boxing For Exercise course, a 7 ft night club bouncer wanted to vent by doing some pad work after his shift. Pure Gym in Leeds is open 24/7. I was getting hammered by a raging bouncer at 3:30 in the morning. It wouldn’t have been so bad but I had Tina from Morley booked in at 6 before she started her Tesco shift and all I wanted is my bed after Vinnie Jones had finished with me.

Because of my previous training as a punter at various kickboxing dojo’s and then becoming a PT I had lots of demand for pad work. I’ve trained pro/am boxers since qualifying but I never did bother with the Hatton Boxing Instructor certificate. My bread and butter has always been the regular gym goer, like me, wanting to achieve a few fitness goals.

The job often throws in an interesting case now and again though. The Throwing Event athlete training before his season begins again. The American Footballer looking to get stronger and the aspiring Olympian skier who I helped rehabilitate after she had shattered her knee.

So a conversation I had the other day had me perplexed. A lady in the gym was asking me about a certain exercise. Happy to help I showed her the correct form. I then asked her if she would like to join my coaching platform stating it is free to log in and you might find it useful. She scoffed at this suggestion insisting that she did CrossFit five times a week and is very good with food so she didn’t need to join my platform. I smiled, accepted her answer, and went on my way

But it’s left me quite amused! I have coached athletes that have gone on to be very successful in their sports including a Team GB development squad member. Nobody should feel that joining a fitness platform is a cry for help. It’s actually the opposite. It’s an acknowledgement that you are always learning something new. Whatever our goal and whatever our motivation is to reach them I find fitness blogs, YouTube clips, training articles, new workout ideas and coaching platforms an excellent way to develope ourselves in getting to where we want to be.

Team GB’s Thea The Skier on the road to recovery

It really doesn’t matter if you are Tyson Fury or Tina from Morley. We enter a boxing ring, a gym or a running track with the same goal…to do better than the day before. We want to continue achieving so that we can meet our goals. So whether you’re an athlete, a CrossFit enthusiast or a total newbie in the gym, my coaching platform might be for you.

A Non-negotiable

Sometimes a friend will say to me, ‘You’re training again?! Are you not scared of injury or over training?’

I train Monday to Friday for an average of 90 minutes each session. That’s 7 and a half hours of training in a week consisting of 168 hours. It’s the least I could do. So no, I don’t over train. And injury happens when you don’t train or when you train and do it wrong.

Before marriage and kids came along I would easily do double the amount each week but I didn’t have a clue. My 20 year old self wanted to out lift everybody else whatever the cost, even after a night out of smoking, drinking and shoving any recreational drug into me I could find. Yes, you’d still find me in the gym the next day damaging my lumbar spine. But because I was not training correctly, it didn’t matter how long I spent in the gym. My results were very average for a young man who had a naturally lean physique. I wish I could train my 20 year old self now.

No matter how tired my kids are, as they go to bed they must brush their teeth. Also, on getting up on a morning they brush their teeth. It’s a non-negotiable. They even have a penguin egg timer so when they flip it they keep brushing for the two minutes that it takes for the penguin to reach the bottom. Just 4 minutes a day. But it is so important to their health. They have 23 hours and 56 minutes each day to ruin their teeth, so it is important to…A. Do it, and B. Do it correctly. Hopefully this routine will teach them the importance of clean and healthy teeth and they will become mindful of the other 23 hours and 56 minutes.

This is how I view training. I wouldn’t stop brushing my teeth because I couldn’t be bothered. I wouldn’t start peeing my pants because going to the toilet takes up too much time. Just like performing the every day tasks like brushing my teeth or going to the toilet, training is non-negotiable.

For all of it’s aesthetic rewards, keeping a healthy mindset is what keeps me driven. Once the penguin is on the move, I have no choice.

I used to have bad days. Like really bad. Days where I couldn’t get out of bed. These were the days that brushing my teeth didn’t matter. Taking each breath at a time was my only priority. Coping with my demons until perhaps the next day became more bearable for me to move. Sometimes it’s the little things like getting to the bathroom that are actually a massive step.

My experiences are why I have my non-negotiable rule. Training isn’t about wanting to do it or not. I just do it. And if I get a phone call to say my kids are sick and need picking up from school, or I have a flat tyre, or my lucky squatting pants are in the wash and I can’t train that day, I’ll make up the time on the next day.

I’m a busy working dad. Life happens. Sometimes I go to squeeze out the toothpaste and there’s literally nothing left. But teeth are precious, so I buy a new tube as soon as I can and my kids will brush their teeth at the next convenient time.

‘Life happens’. I get that. Tomorrow is my first day back into society after my Covid isolation. It’s been a tough week. But we have to make sure that, just because we acknowledge that ‘life happens’, it isn’t what is inscribed on our headstone.

Tomorrow, the penguin will start its timer. I need to be ready to go.