anxiety – Page 9 – Never Give Up PT

About My Online PT Challenges

Kudos to the Personal Trainers out there that had to change their entire business plans and jump on the Online PT idea when the first lockdown hit in 2020.

I’m late to the party and, as always, I’m going to be totally honest as to why I was late…and explain why I have no regrets.

When the gyms closed due to the first lockdown, PT’s had to make a decision if they wanted to remain in the profession. They could continue via zoom video calls, use a fitness platform or freeze their clients payments until they could see see their clients in person again.

I didn’t want to do zoom and here is my brutal honesty. I saw lots of videos online of PT’s doing exercise routines and the links weren’t great, the sound was unclear and they looked uncomfortable, which was understandable, they wanted to keep earning money and had to leave their comfort zone. I didn’t do it because my house is where I was home schooling and entertaining the kids and there was somebody doing it better than anybody for free on YouTube. Joe Wicks smashed it during the first lockdown.

I had a fitness app long before the first lockdown, but I was never happy or confident with it. I’m not great with technology, but it felt clunky and bland to me. It would’ve been a poor replacement for my 1-1 clients had I put them on the app.

So I decided to freeze their payments and wait until we were able to meet in a park or on the beach. I stayed in touch through regular messages and phone calls if necessary, but I took no payments until I could meet them in person again. There were times where my wife and I worried as our savings dwindled down, but we didn’t really care about that. Our children needed us to guide them through the craziest of times and we needed to keep our heads in the game too if we were to succeed in giving them a positive experience. So I have no regrets about my decision.

Rather than rushing into becoming an online coach I dipped my toe into the world of technology and try out a few different fitness platforms on trial periods over the course of a few months. I knew that, to develop my business and be able to reach out to more people I had to go online. My previous gym that I trained at, based in the centre of Leeds, had 6,000 members. But when we moved to Scarborough the biggest gym had 2,500 members which is where I began training. It has been clear for some time that my reach had to be much greater and I love training people! I want a hundred happy people training with me at affordable prices rather than just a few who can afford it. I needed to give the masses a challenge!

I have currently got a number of challenges set on my fitness app that are being enjoyed by my clients. My newest one, which I have developed this month, is one that I know all about from my own experience. I’ve called it the 60 Day Dad Challenge.

I understand that having residence in a gym might give me an advantage in enabling me to work out and ‘keep fit’. After all, I’m not booked solid with back to back appointments. I have gaps in which to train myself. Most people don’t have that luxury. This is why I can develop any type of workout for any particular goals. This can be done at home, in an office or at the park and time needn’t be an issue. A workout can last just 20 minutes a day if it is designed and executed correctly.

Our lives don’t suddenly get any easier or slow down and when we become parents our one year old learning to walk is suddenly scoring top bins in his under 8’s football team. Where did that time go? It’s easy to forget that you have your own life too. I became daddy. I wasn’t a PT at the time and my own fitness was the last thing on my mind. I just wanted a decent nights sleep and, to make our lives easier, a takeaway for tea. I had always been active. From being a teenager I would regularly go to the gym. My physique and mental health massively improved because of it. But becoming a dad at 34 made me forget about myself and my own needs. It was fine for the most part. Hearing their first laugh and just cherishing their every move makes up for any sacrifices we make as parents.

But, for me, there was a moment of panic. My jeans started to not fit so well. I hated passing a mirror and if I did I’d breathe in. Getting up and down the stairs seemed a little tougher. My worry was that, if this is me now when my kids are toddlers, what will my fitness be like when they start school, become teenagers or become adults? It started to get me down.

I guess it scared me so much that it prompted me to not only get to the gym but become a Personal Trainer too! Obviously not all dads will take my path, but I designed a 60 day challenge so they don’t have to. He can work hard, give his love and support to his partner and children and feel great about himself without it having to take over his life. Dads can have support too. Dads can look good. Dads don’t have to worry about playing football in the park with their kids. Dads can be fitter and stronger than they were before they were dads, not just from when they were knackered being up half the night with baby.

I enjoy meeting my clients face to face, but I have come to love my online work equally. I still see their results. We can celebrate the wins and tweak the bits that need to change just the same as working with them 1-1.

Let the new challenge commence!

60 Day Dad Challenge!

Meditation And Me

Sat alone or in good company in a safe space can be a perfect time to think, contemplate, dream, breath…

(sigh) I need to breath. When the weight becomes too unbearable to carry, my breathing makes it lighter. Every single breath. Inhale deeply my hope . Exhale sharply my worries.

I meditate to let it all go and bring in new challenges and restored belief to my life. To keep me grounded. To allow a vision into my future with past thoughts disabled and to think of my mortality.

My wife has just come back from a weekend retreat to the Madhyamaka Meditation Center near York which was, by all accounts, a great way to reset the mind. I’m hoping to go soon so I will tell you of my experiences when I return. Although this is Buddhist practices I am happy to engage with this type of meditation. I’m not religious. I’m very much an atheist and a weekend retreat to any religious facility won’t change that. However, there are many rules, practices and beliefs that an atheist humanist will live by that run parallel to many religions. Being kind to one another, being charitable, treating everyone equally, not focussing on materialistic things should all be stuff that we live by, religious or not. And meditating, perhaps something similar to prayer, is another that I choose to do.

Yet, my meditation is not asking anyone else or anything for help or advice. I’m asking myself for strength, clarity, a direction and sometimes closure.

When we lived in Leeds most of our friends where we lived were Christians. I guess as we became friends with one couple with a child of the same age it opened it up to begin friendships with their circle of friends too. I was often left a little jealous at what a great community they had formed with family gatherings, fêtes and trips. We were often invited and we attended some events so my envy didn’t stem from exclusion. It was simply that they had a bond and a belief together that was mightier than what we had with them. In my mind we would always be the outsiders.

As a kid I would pray for my family to live forever, or to do well in an exam, or for Charlotte who sat at the front of my class in Maths to at least look at me. I remember praying for Liverpool to win the Premier League too. Perhaps if God does exist he thinks that I did wrong so he put Pep Guardiola in the Premier League to punish me.

But that was my only experience of praying to a God and, just like with the bond that our friends had, there were slight envy towards those who prayed and felt reassured by it.

But I can’t pretend to believe in a God and my ‘spirituality’ only extends as far as science can offer an explanation. Whilst many religions believe in some sort of afterlife or reincarnation, my intrigue lies with the physicists who claim that our ‘energy’ continues after death. And if we are to believe the first law of thermodynamics then energy cannot be created nor destroyed. Energy can be transformed from one form to another or from one place to another but the total energy will remain unchanged. Therefore, every bit of heat, vibration and every wave of particle belonging to each and every one of us will be a part of the universe forever.

My method of meditation calls upon this energy. Sometimes I need to ask myself to find this energy to find the strength at certain times in my life. Perhaps this is how people feel in prayer? As a theist believes that there is a God out there to give them strength, I believe that there is energy and my moments of meditation is a chance for me to find it.

Traditionally, mine and many others methods to meditate will be to find a quiet place and focus on breathing. This is how I was first taught to meditate. Yet over the years I have found that the gym is also a perfect place. This might seem absurd to people. After all, we think of peaceful environments, not listening to grunting men and Dua Lipa blasting out of the speakers. But there are similarities to meditation and training. And the term ‘training’ is important here, as when we workout we are training our body to breathe correctly as well as the mechanical movements that we ask of it. We repeat the process over and over. The same motions, time under tension and our breathing techniques are practiced to give you change, strength and confidence in ourselves. To master it you need to practice for years. Training the body works alongside training the mind. Therefore I often train in a half meditative state. That is my focus. Oh, and in no way do I think I’m superior when I say ‘to master it you need to practice for years’. I’m not a master despite my experience. I’m a student and probably always will be.

The only times I truly appreciate my breathing is during training and meditation. Which is crazy when you think that this important function keeps me alive!

Whatever your beliefs, I think that we can all agree that finding your space and your time away from the daily grind is important. It might be in a church during prayer, in the gym or a quiet room at home. Moments of calm can give us a little bit of energy to find our strength to carry on. It becomes YOUR time. And if your life seems out of control sometimes, I’d schedule it in to your diary as a very important appointment. An appointment that you cannot afford to miss.

Are Meal Plans Any Good?

I don’t know anybody who doesn’t have moments of sadness, anxiety, general pissed offness or, in many cases, depression. At some level, we all suffer from these emotions.

Out of all of the people that I have ever known to be in either a low mood or in the full depths of depression around 99% of these people will, to some extent, lose control of their eating habits. A busy lifestyle, work, family stuff, bills, illness, body image and the curve ball that everyday life throws at us can all contribute to that.

And this is the one reason why I don’t understand prescribed meal plans created by Personal Trainers to their clients. These meal plans can range from £50 to thousands of pounds in my experience. I’m open to hear from anybody who has had a positive experience with a meal plan that somebody else has created for you. I don’t want to dismiss it completely. I just don’t get it. How can anybody fully comply with a meal plan?! Unless you’re an elite athlete and it is your job, I don’t see how you can.

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Here are my top concerns with meal plans and non compliance…

1. Your friends decide to go out for a meal and invite you. Will the restaurant’s menu include the delightful Baked chicken tenders with five cherry tomatoes, a quarter cup of diced cucumber and one teaspoon of light French dressing which is what your PT has told you to eat tonight? You think not, so you decline their offer.

2. You’ve been to the gym early this morning and worked hard in your job up to lunch time. You’re hungry as you have used up a lot of energy. Yet the one large pear followed by the one large boiled egg worth 210 calories in your lunch box doesn’t really appeal to you. You eat it but your belly is left rumbling for the rest of your shift.

3. You take your fourth Jacket potato of the week out of the oven and think, ‘I just can’t face another one!’ And the tuna with light mayonnaise is becoming a chore too.

Each scenario adds to a little bit more resentment and, ultimately, lack of compliance. You keep crashing. You feel demoralised. You begin to wonder what the point of the whole process is. You’re unhappier than before.

I have found that to reach weight loss goals we have to identify why it is that we think a meal plan needs to be put in place. I haven’t met anybody who is overweight not know that an apple is better for them than a bag of crisps. Or a spinach salad with light dressing is better than a pizza. I believe that we over eat or choose less nutritionally dense foods due to our emotions. The strongest food cravings often hit at our weakest point emotionally. We can find comfort in food several times a day, consciously or sub consciously.

And without doubt the fast food chains and endless promotions on low nutritional food are always on hand to give us a little ‘pick me up’. The temptations are everywhere, but will they go away just because Zoe from TeknoGym wrote you a meal plan? If I’m entirely honest I’d be more inclined to get a pizza slice from Greggs than face another open face waffle sandwich, just to piss Zoe off.

You need to stop labelling foods good, bad, treat or syn. Your relationship with food will only end up being a negative one. And rather than having a fixed meal plan written by someone else, you can start developing a plan that works for you. Batch cook some of your favourite sauces, make a list of the nutritious foods that you should be enjoying often but make sure that you are still allowing yourself the foods that you can enjoy less often. Identify your triggers. If you know that a stressful incident at work or at home is followed by eating a family sized bar of chocolate then replace it from your cupboards or desk drawer with either something sweet but smaller or, if you’re feeling ready, replace it with carrot sticks, fruit, nuts or seeds.

Little changes make a big difference. These little changes are far more effective that one massive overhaul of your diet. You don’t need the perfect diet. You want the one that works for you in the long term.

Magnifying Glass

Have you ever walked into a fitness class and wanted to just turn around and go home again? The participants all looked keen, fit and ready for an hour of Burpees. Have you ever felt out of your depth going into a fitness class?

I have…and I was the bloody instructor!

In my early days as an instructor I would walk up to the class hall repeating in my head,”I’m the instructor. I’m the man! I know what I’m doing!”

And of course, I did know what I was doing but it didn’t stop the nerves. It didn’t stop me from scanning the room and thinking, ‘Most of these are younger than me, they look fitter, they all know each other.’ Lots of fitness class attendees are hardcore who book their classes early, stand in the same place with their equipment at their feet, ready for the instructor to enter. My first class felt like I was walking into a western saloon bar. The doors creaked open, the music paused, everyone stopped talking and looked towards me. Only it was nothing like that. It was my own anxieties playing out a completely different story.

I have learned to take away the magnifying glass when I teach a fitness class now and I no longer have these insecurities. The nerves will always be there. If the adrenaline stops I might as well as look for a different job. I need the participants to feel my adrenaline. That’s the exciting bit.

But this magnifying glass was something that was with me in every aspect of my life. Everybody else had a better life than me. They were happier, better dressed, had better jobs, more money. And when social media came along and I looked up my old pals from previous jobs and school…you guessed it, they were all more successful.

I had to do something about how I felt about myself. If I were going to be a success without comparing myself to anybody else then I needed to address this magnifying glass. And by success I mean a good dad and husband, a job I enjoyed and somewhere to live and prosper. Success is not a jet set life to me. If our potatoes grow in the garden this year that is a success story!

Our magnifying glass makes anything appear amplified. I often saw everything in anxiousness and fear but now I look for hope, happiness and confidence.

Poet Alexander Pope wrote, “The greatest magnifying glasses in the world are a man’s own eyes when they look upon his own person.”

I stopped looking at everyone else and looked at me. My own dreams, my own aspirations, my own successes and my own life. The magnifying glass is always there, I just need to know where to direct it.

If you are apprehensive about entering the gym or going to a fitness class for the first time, put the magnifying glass firmly on yourself and focus on how fabulous YOU are.

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An Apple A Day…

I wasn’t really encouraged greatly to eat my fruit and veg as a kid. It was often there on my plate but there were never any reason to eat it. The chips and sausages or ice cream for dessert was always much more appealing.

But during the 80’s the information that we received was very different to what we get now. And although we can still get incredibly misleading information these days, one thing that is a fact according to just about every piece of research that has been done on the subject, is that fruit and vegetables are extremely good for us.

And yet a recent survey of England said that just 28% of adults were eating the recommended fruit and veg a day, which is 5 a day in the UK and in many other European countries this has gone up to 8 a day. Even more depressing to me is that the survey came back with just 18% of children aged between 5 and 15 were eating 5 portions a day in England. The survey was done in 2018 by the NHS. With an increase in the cost of living and families struggling to feed their kids in the UK today, I can’t imagine that those figures have improved.

Indeed, with the meals that are on offer at my kids school which, I must add is an otherwise fantastic school, I know that they’re going without one portion of fruit or veg for at least 6 hours of the day on most days. Outside caterers are in charge of this and, like with most privatisation, I don’t have faith in a person centred approach.

But then we can blame school caterers, restaurants, supermarkets, media, the government or whoever else influence ours and our kids diets, but fundamentally it is our choice. Certainly for most families in the UK, despite the increase in the cost of living, we choose whether we eat our 5 a day or not.

If you have read my previous articles you might have gathered that I’m not a regular PT. Or at least I’m not like the influencers that want you to eat chicken and broccoli three times a day ‘for those gainz bruh!’ and I’m not in the gym training myself for hours or weighing out my rice from my Tupperware box.

I like kebabs, Greggs sausage rolls, wine, gin and tonic, takeaways and cheese. I have kids who like crisps, chocolate and chicken dippers. My wife and I enjoy meals out without looking at the calories column before ordering the main course. We are busy getting our kids ready for school while making breakfast, preparing our work schedules and picking up dirty undies and socks to go into the wash before we leave the house. That is real life. I’m lucky if I finish my coffee on a morning.

And that, I expect, is what most of my trainees do in their lives too. Life can be chaotic. Counting how many pieces of fruit and veg you’ve had might not even enter your head. And that was me. For years I didn’t really give it much thought. The token spoonful of peas would gatecrash onto my plate from time to time and I’d eat the odd banana. But being mindful of my diet was not a concern of mine. I trained hard so, in my eyes, what I saw in the mirror was all that mattered.

A few changing points happened to me which made me think very hard about my nutrition. Firstly, I met my wife. She is an excellent cook and cooking together became a part of our evenings. This I would suggest to anybody. Learn to love cooking. We don’t have to be Jamie Oliver. Just spend a bit of time in the kitchen with the food you’re about to eat.

Then I went on my PT course to be a Fitness Instructor and Personal Trainer. The course itself was fairly basic in all honesty, but it gave me a thirst for knowledge. I wanted to know how our bodies moved and what each muscle was called and what it did. I wanted to understand how our bodies function and survive and I studied our bodies need for the right nutrition. I still do. I don’t know it all. I never will. A good PT will sometimes tell you that they don’t know, but will find out when you ask them a question. A poor one will feed you any old shit for them to look clever and gain a new client.

Lastly, I noticed a difference in my performance. Obviously in the gym, where I began lifting heavier and training for longer without having to stop. My PB’s went through the roof at 35 and they’re still going up at 43. But also, outside of the gym my mood was lifted, I became a better person and I had more energy for my kids. My body was feeling fuelled on good food. This alone made me like the foods that I had previously ignored.

But that didn’t stop me from enjoying the foods I liked before. I still like kebabs, Greggs sausage rolls, drink wine and gin and tonic, takeaways and I’m a sucker for stilton on a cream cracker. I have just become more mindful of how much of it I consume. I never banned these foods from my life. Had I done that I suspect that I would have resented the nutritious foods.

My youngest is a fruit and veg dodger. As a toddler we had concerns about his eating and the health visitor suggested that we feed him cake or basically anything that he would eat! His weight was low and we just had to try anything at all for him to get to a reasonable weight. It was a stressful time and even now he is extremely fussy. Our eldest will eat pretty much anything. For our youngest, however, each mealtime is like a bush tucker trial. We keep introducing new fruit and veg along with his favourite cheese wrap and now at almost 6 he is understanding the need to eat vegetables with his meals. He is still a small eater but he is doing much better. As long as he gets his cheese wrap he’s happy to eat the carrot sticks.

You shouldn’t underestimate how important nutritional food is, but that doesn’t mean that you have to ditch the Pringles either! Just find that balance and be more mindful with your food. The positive fuel is almost instant. Imagine what a consistent balanced plate can do for you?

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Understanding Change

In my previous career I worked as a support worker for adults with learning difficulties and autism. This gave me an insight on human behaviour and how to understand people with a different perception to the world we live in.

One of their main challenges was to be as independent as possible despite being in a society demanding that they change. The organisations offering support to these people and many of their workers were fully committed to enabling their service users to live as independently as possible. They weren’t looking for everything to be done for them. They might have just needed some support and encouragement to live THEIR life in a strange ‘neurotypical’ world. And yet society can often want to change people.

The people I supported often got frustrated at certain rules and laws that had to be applied and demands that were put upon them to be more ‘normal’. I didn’t change anybody that I worked with. I just enabled them to do what they wanted to do safely. Any positive changes to their lives that they wished to make would be encouraged by me and I would support them through it. That was my job.

Becoming a Personal Trainer was, I thought, an entirely different role and of course, on the surface it really is. It is only when you get to understand human behaviour that you begin to find similarities. And then all of that level of understanding comes right back.

“We keep trying to change people’s behaviours without a full understanding of how and why those behaviours arise”

The fitness industry does just as much damage as it does good. It is full of crooks and scammers who pray on people wanting to change their appearance. From miracle pills and drinks, bogus PT’s, weight loss coaches (failed PT’s), social media influencers, celebrity fitness DVD’s and Doctors spewing 5:2, Fast 800 and intermittent fasting all over the tabloids. We are bombarded with us changing how we look. Perhaps, in their eyes, we should all look a certain way. Or, let’s be honest, they want to make us feel so bad about ourselves so we pay them in a desperate attempt to be ‘fixed’ by them.

But they don’t know you or I. Why do I keep getting promotions for fat loss pills that work within a week (there’s before and afters to prove it) on my Facebook feed every day? Do they think I need it? Even as a PT who, for most days, feels comfortable in my own skin feels a little self conscious. How must the regular person feel?

I get miracle hair growth lotion ads too which is definitely more appropriate for my feed and yet I have no desire to have a full head of hair. I don’t want it. They. Won’t. Change. Me.

But they want my money. They want me to want to change my appearance.

And although my role as a PT is to exert change to an individual, it isn’t their appearance that I’m looking to change, even if that is what they come to me wanting.

“The journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. It’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.”

Goals need to be set when you begin a fitness journey. But once you have set those goals you must put it in an envelope and safely store it away for a while. Today you don’t need it. Today, you just need to know what you have to do TODAY. Know it, plan it and stick to it.

My job isn’t simply telling someone to run faster, lift heavier or eat better foods. I need to know WHY they should want to run faster, lift heavier and eat better foods. If I am to support them on their journey, then I need to know their perception of themselves. I offer support but also realize that I cannot tell anybody what to do. My job is to allow the individual to makes their choices, embrace the victories and process the failures. It is THEIR journey.

I don’t change anybody that I work with. I just enable them to do what they want to do safely. Any positive changes to their lives that they wish to make is encouraged by me and I support them through it. That’s my job.

Starting Your Week The Right Way

Our days are often played out at a hundred miles an hour. When we begin our working week it speeds through so quickly we can look back and regret not having time to commit to your workouts, talk to friends, give your granny a call or prepare nutritious food.

We can make it slightly easier for ourselves if we plan our week. Going into a new week without a plan could be the reason why you don’t stick to a nutrition plan or an exercise routine. Here’s my top tips to get you focussed on your week ahead!

1. Batch Cook.

I would recommend dedicating a couple of hours a week to batch cooking. In this time you can make two or three different sauces that can be used at a later date. I have plenty of takeaway tubs that have been saved over the years that make perfect containers for this. It means that, even after a busy day, you can still create a nutritious meal with little fuss. Just defrost your sauce and add the veg, meat, pasta etc. My favourites are bolognese, curry, chilli and macaroni cheese.

2. Plan Your Workouts And Stick To It.

“I might go to the gym if I have time” usually means you don’t have time. Something crops up or you create a reason not to go, so you don’t get round to going. Make it easier for yourself. A workout doesn’t have to be in a gym. I often post 10 minute workouts on my training app and run programmes that work around an individuals lifestyle. https://www.trainerize.me/profile/nevergiveup2/?planGUI

Planning workouts with a partner or friend with similar fitness goals works because you are able to keep each other motivated and you are less likely to cancel and let them down. Hiring a good PT also adds accountability.

Also, never underestimate going for a walk. This might be the perfect way to start a fitness journey if you can plan and stick to regular walks throughout your week.

3. Avoid A Sunday Night Syndrome.

Sunday night syndrome is also known as anticipatory anxiety. It’s a very real thing to many people. If you get the feeling of dread as you think about entering a new week then try these techniques…

a) Practice meditation on the Sunday evening (or whenever your week is starting). You don’t have to be a Buddhist Monk or spiritual to be good at it. There are some very good apps or YouTube guides that will talk you through it. Just find a quiet place and think about controlling your breathing. Visualize the positives in your life and how these can contribute to your week ahead.

b) Look forward to an event by booking a treatment such as a massage or a spa. Having an enjoyable activity to focus on can get you over difficult times in your week.

c) Avoid alcohol before your week begins. Although you might think that a few drinks on your Sunday evening is relaxing and helps you cope with your anxieties, it actually has the opposite effect. Sleep can be more unsettled, your food choices are not as good and your emotions are in less control. Alcohol can lead to you believing that things are worse than they actually are.

4. Give your granny a call as part of a Sunday night routine. Once you’ve prepped your meals, put the lycra in your gym kit and had a moment of calm, not only will your granny appreciate the call but you will feel a whole lot better for doing it. After all, once you’ve heard about Derek from number 63’s dodgy hip and Maureen from bingos arthritis you’ll feel so much better about yourself!

It’s Time To Print Out The Score Sheets!

It’s that time of year again. The snacks come out, the score sheets get printed, the kids stay up later, the bunting goes up, I get to wear a blonde wig and we complain about nobody liking the UK.

It’s Eurovision time!

My wife and I were always an unlikely couple. I was the gym rat who went to mainstream clubs and watched football with my mates in my spare time. My wife had an alternative dress style, went to indie bars and loved arts and crafts. We met whilst working together and I don’t think our colleagues ever thought it would last. But we had a secret connection and it was our love our Eurovision.

Ok, ok, maybe that’s not entirely true. Our similar interests also included Japanese horror movies, Pearl Jam and Nirvana, pool and darts, food and Desperate Housewives (the American TV series, not just desperate housewives).

But whilst these interests have ebbed and flowed between us over the years, our love of Eurovision has grown. Maybe this is what makes our marriage complete. Well, that and our two kids. And food probably.

For the past 15 years we have scored every event of Eurovision. We even have a folder each with our score sheets in them. In the past we have had house parties on Eurovision night, but that was a disaster. Everyone wanted to talk over the songs as they mocked the artists. We dropped theses mates and found better ones, of course. But they can’t come around on Eurovision night. We won’t make that mistake again.

This year it will be an alcohol free event too. It just so happens our abstinence for the foreseeable has fallen on the date of Eurovision. It’s also fallen on the dates of the FA Cup final, the last couple of games of the Premier League and the Champions League final!

Ah well. We do like to prove to ourselves that we can go a few weeks without a tipple. We enjoy a drink at the weekend to unwind, but actually the feeling of being fresh and lighter from the habitual weekend drinking is very empowering. It’s our reset button, Eurovision or not.

So we will be dancing and wearing Abba wigs totally sober tonight, which might make us sound even more weird! But one thing’s for sure, with events in the world being as they are, an evening of countries coming together to stage the campest event ever is a very welcome sight.

The Test

My eldest came out of the school gates looking very pleased with himself. He ran towards me waving a piece of paper shouting “Daddy daddy, I got 10 out of 10!”

At the beginning of the week he had been given ten words to learn for a spelling test today. As well as my wife and I going through these words daily and his teacher teaching them he was well prepared for a test.

Schools, higher education and any learning environment have a similar system. We learn, practice and revise until we are tested on the subject. When you leave education, however, I find it a very different experience. Life gives you the test first, and then you learn the lesson.

Imagine my son having the test first and then learning the words after? It seems unfair, right? Ah, and yet our experiences in life are full of these examples.

What I try to provide as a Personal Trainer is a platform in which to learn, develop and achieve. An individual’s fitness journey has, admittedly, moments of enduring the test before knowing the lesson. In some ways that helps us deal with the challenges of success and failure. If we knew how to do it we’d already be doing it, so learning from life’s tests is a part of the process. And the process isn’t a smooth, linear path.

My job is not just to bask in the glory of a trainee’s goal being achieved like a PB or a weight loss target, but it is to navigate us through the difficult times. That’s not easy to do on your own. It’s doubly difficult when, even though you’ve put the hours in and worked with a plan in place, things still don’t go smoothly. Yes, you get given the words, you revise like mad, and you don’t always get full marks in your exam.

The problem is when you get given the words to learn, you revise like mad, don’t pass the exam and you give up. A few months pass by and again you get given the words, work hard and study but still don’t quite make the grade. Before you know it you are a year older and you are still stumbling through the tests, quitting, starting again…the cycle continues.

This, for me, is where the role of a coach is vital. There’s plenty of people that will count your reps on a rocking ab machine. But a coach will provide knowledge, technique, expertise, experience and the ability to get you to your goals. Even when the test becomes tough, they know what to do to get you through to the other side.

My son might only get 9 out of 10 next week, even if he works hard in his revision. But that in itself is a lesson. How I react to it and how he dusts the disappointment off is the difference between his future success and failure. If he learns how to deal with that disappointment it becomes even more important than learning the word he got wrong.

Life is ironic. It takes depression to know happiness. It takes stress to understand calm. It takes failure to recognise success.

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