We tend to only see ourselves as part of this universe. Indeed, the word ‘universe’ indicates that there’s just one. And yet we know very little about what is beyond our own galaxy. As we learn more about quantum physics, we are also becoming more open to what else is out there.
What if we could actually discover what lies beyond our galaxy within these parallel realities? What if you could discover new layers to this world and make contact with alternate versions of yourself?
This week, that is where I’ve been. This souped up variation of a visualization meditation can take you on a journey of discovery and empowerment. I felt it and I learnt a great deal about me and my future. Just for a moment, I lived it.
Before I explain more about QJM, I first need to describe to you how the universe works for us. The universe is like a Google search bar. When you type in a search on Google, the algorithm will match what it is you’re looking for. So sophisticated is this engine, that it will also begin to create ads and suggestions based on what you input into it. Well, the universe works in exactly the same way.
A vibrational frequency from your thoughts and emotions is picked up by the universe where it will begin to match your frequency into matching algorithms.
So QJM allows us to get deep inside our subconscious mind and shape our inner beliefs and expectations. Through QJM we can access dormant areas of our minds and explore desired realities. Through these focussed techniques of QJM, we can create positive outcomes and allow the universe to process this through its matching algorithms.
Quite a lot of guided meditations that I use when I feel like I need it is by Jason Stephenson on YouTube. I really would recommend that you allow yourself some time to listen and focus on his version of a Quantum Jump Manifestation. They can be a lengthy hour or two though, so do make sure that you can have an evening to yourself (or with a partner) to take the jump. You might like some time to process your experience afterwards too.
Although I’m qualified in guided meditations I’m going to continue learning and hopefully find a way of qualifying me to conduct QJM for other people, so I won’t be sharing any of my versions just yet! But if you are interested in giving it a go, check out Jason Stephenson’s QJM and tell me how you got on.
For now, keep feeding those positive thoughts to the universe.
I always seem to arrive late to a trend. Although I’ve made up for it since, I never watched Friends when it first aired in the UK. At school I would wonder what a ‘Rachel hairstyle’ was and why everyone was debating whether ‘they were on a break’ or not.
And it was the same for music and fashion. Oasis were selling albums in Poundland by the time I liked their music and I even bought a parka jacket in 2003 to put on and show off my britpop swagger. I was a good 5 years too late though and my hair wouldn’t live forever. I was a bald Liam Gallagher. I had the shades and a rollie cigarette hanging from the mouth.
Could I look any cooler?!
Ah, but that parka jacket. It has 20 years of memories. If you were to dig deep inside the pockets you could probably still make a rollie out of the grains of tobacco that remain.
Me in my younger, cooler days
So when it came to packing up our house, we had to be ruthless. For our move to Portugal, we have decided to be more ‘minimalist’. Not everything in our home can make the cut to be transported over to Portugal. DVD’s took a hit. All I could salvage was my collection of Friday The 13th DVD’s. Labyrinth made its way to the charity shop. A decision I could later regret.
And lots of clothes had to go. I had a phase of buying Penguin shirts from TK Max. I must have been in a slimmer phase when I bought them. They’ve gone. Jeans that I can’t get past my calves when I try to squeeze into them. They’ve gone. There were a pair of undies in the bottom of my drawer too that looked as old as the parka. Fear not, they didn’t get sent to the charity shop. They’ll be recycled into a polishing rag. They’ll be making many a knob shiny in our new house.
But it’s actually getting rid of the parka that was the hardest of all. It was quite a symbolic moment as I made the decision to let it go.
I feel sad that I will never put that big coat on again. And I feel a bit guilty that it will never be worn by me again. Maybe I could go back to the charity shop to buy it back.
Perhaps when we find ourselves at a particularly low ebb in life, we turn to stuff that feeds off of that anxiety. It’s like a form of self harm. Scratching away at the scab that protects the wound.
Severe self harm such as cutting ones self, so it has been said by those who have done it, forms a release as they see a trickle of blood come from a cut.
This release, in more clinical terms, is known as the hormone dopamine. The body’s natural happy drug.
I never self harmed in this way. Instead, I found the gym and, albeit not exactly what we think of when we think of self harm, if you break down the muscle fibres which causes muscle hypertrophy during resistance training then you are ‘harming’ yourself. Certainly, that’s what the body identifies, and therefore triggers the release of dopamine in the same way as the body of a self harmed would.
I’ve written before about how the gym saved my life. And it isn’t PT spiel to get people to the gym. It’s just the fact that we need to release these hormones somehow and the gym ticks all of the positive boxes in doing that.
But what about before the gym? Back in the early 90’s there weren’t gyms that catered for 14 year olds in the UK. There seems to be a number of gyms that have certain set hours throughout the week which can be used for under 16’s, such as the gym I train at in Scarborough. But I’m not sure this was the case for me, so I turned to music.
As I mentioned in my first paragraph, we tend to find the stuff that feeds off of our anxieties at particular times in our life. So when I felt low I didn’t turn to the Greatest Hits of Black Lace. I wasn’t doing the agadoo when I felt worthless. Instead, I would listen to grunge and rock music. Bands like Marilyn Manson, Nirvana , Pearl Jam and Jeff Buckley would create more angst and yet in some way soothe me. Perhaps, in music such as this, if you feel that the lyrics speak directly to you, then you can be comforted in that somebody else is feeling your pain. They understand. It’s an arm around the shoulder.
One of my first albums that I bought was the Soul Asylum LP Grave Dancers Union. The lead singer, Dave Pirner, often sang about his depression and it is probably best captured in the track ‘Runaway Train’.
He describes how his own depression felt like a runaway train. That was his metaphor for his anxieties that would spiral out of control.
And this isn’t unusual. One in six UK adults suffer from depression. Females are far more likely to seek help for their mental health than men. A charity organisation that I have had contact with through my work is Andy’s Man Club, which offers advice and meetings in their local areas. I would advise any man who feels that they need help to give them a call.
When I first became a PT I didn’t appreciate how much work goes into mental health rather than physical health. Sure, most people want to lose a few pounds or grow muscle but there is usually an underlying reason for why a gym member has approached me for PT.
By no means are all of my clients depressed! But there is a certain need for us all to be accepted. It is when we realise who we are looking for acceptance from that we can start moving forward. And that person is ourselves. Nobody else.
We drive the runaway train. It can derail sometimes and we can feel out of control. But fundamentally we can get it back on track and put on the brakes. And that’s why people come to me. Because no matter what gym goal they tell me, as long as I deliver in enabling them to accept themselves first and foremost then the rest is easy. A few pounds, no problem! Feeling pumped, easy! Because they start to do it on their terms. They gain control of their mind and their body.
And we can take this same principle outside of the gym with identifying any life goals. The very best Personal Trainers also make excellent life coaches because the needs of an individual inside the gym is simply just a reflection of their greater needs outside of it. It’s all relative to the bigger picture. And then, like a jigsaw, we can piece it all together. It starts making sense. We can take control.
We’ve all got a runaway train, but first you need to understand that you are the driver. Contact me if you need to talk.
Do I feel less anxious because I started to balance my energy flow using chakra energy, or did I begin to feel less anxious and therefore felt more open to chakra balancing?
I was always a skeptic when it came to meditation, chakra balancing and crystal healing. But perhaps I just never understood it before. Now, as a meditation guide, I am obviously fully on board with the powers of this method of calling upon ones own positive energy.
Truth be told I still don’t fully understand it. But sometimes we don’t need to understand something, we just need to trust that we’re going in the right direction. If it feels right, you probably are.
So giving myself a moment to think, meditate, get rid of any negative energy and find my chakra balance is as important to me now as my next meal. It is nourishing, satisfying and necessary in surviving the day.
The seven essential chakras that I focus on are the crown, to understand . The third eye, to see. The throat, to speak. The heart, to love. The solar plexus, to do. The sacral, to feel. And the root, to be grounded.
We often find the answers that we look for deep within us. These can be the most important questions that challenge you daily. Why am I doing this? What is my purpose? Am I worthy?
You have the answers, but you need to stop for a moment to find them. Just by closing your eyes in a quiet space can help you to come up with answers, but to truly find peace with these answers then I would recommend meditation or a form of energy balancing. This will really speak to our soul.
What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
Do you ever give your soul a chance to provide any answers, or do you just keep asking the questions?
Hey Shay. It’s you. Just a little bit older and wiser. Oh, and balder. Yeah dude, sorry. You’re going bald even now so the sooner you own that look the better. Luckily The Mitchell brothers from Eastenders are making baldness a bit cooler, so just get it shaved now and stop trying to perfect the comb over.
Let me just go through all the stuff that you’ve already experienced and then I can try to explain the sort of stuff that you will live through. I’m not here to change your past or your future. I’m just giving you a heads up.
By now you will have done pretty poorly at your GCSE’s, which was obvious seeing as you didn’t really put in the effort. But you know that you’re a bright lad, just not at Shakespeare or algebra. And right now you’re wondering what your future holds.
Let me reassure you that you’re about to meet your calling. You’re a kind and thoughtful person. No exams will determine your life or career. Instead, it is your character that will enable you to work with and support other people within the social care sector. You’ll learn a lot in your time doing this job. And the biggest education of all will be about how everyone you meet will be unique. Everyone is equal and has so much to offer and you can make a difference in enabling those who you work with to show it.
Technology will change. Wow! Have you got your Nokia brick yet?! Well, when you do and you’re amazed at how you can send instant texts to people then brace yourself for what’s about to happen. In the new millennium that brick will turn into a little computer with the whole world inside of it. And then you’ll have to deal with social media. Most people seem to like it but I just end up debating about politics with a stranger. A bit like you do now but not face to face. It’s all done on your phone.
I know that, by now, you’ve dabbled with a spliff and done silly stuff like what other teenagers do. Arguing with mum and dad is upsetting right? But they love you and when you become a parent you’ll see how tough being a parent is.
Oh! Yes you will become a parent! I know you’ve always said that you don’t want kids but when you find that person who you want to spend the rest of your life with and makes you very happy, then you’ll change your mind. And your kids are two healthy boys who love you more than anything in the entire world. And even as I write it, I beam with pride. So you have that to look forward to. But just remember, we gave our mum and dad grief sometimes so we’ll have to be prepared for our kids being terrors on occasions too.
Now at 18 some very difficult news is about to enter your life. I’m sorry, bud, but your dad will knock on your door and tell you that your mum has cancer. Hey, before you get too upset right now, let me tell you that this news shapes your character. You will deal with it personally and as a family. You will still create memories. But it will hit you hard. As a young man trying to make his mark in life, you will make mistakes and emotion will get in the way of good decision making. But you will also grow stronger from your challenges that are to come. And I won’t sugar coat it, as much as you will enjoy your life, there are some seriously tough times too.
Our two boys will still be very young when our mum dies. But she got to see them and they still talk about her now. So she’ll never be forgotten. And our dad has had to create a new life. He became our hero when he looked after our mum. But he had to move forward, which he is doing.
I like how you put your mortality into perspective, even now as an 18 year old. We have always wanted to live for the moment and get out of life what we can. And you don’t change. At 44, you’ll be planning a new life in Portugal with your family. You don’t do ‘what if’ at 18 and you won’t at 44.
You will live through world events such as war, an actual pandemic, the UK leaving the EU and in a few years time what is known as 9/11. None of these will directly hurt us or our loved ones but it will have a profound effect on us. Lots of decisions you make will be because of these things. We said that we didn’t want kids because of stuff like these events, but we did have kids so you’ll get to my age forever wondering how to protect them.
I know that you are currently looking at ways in which you can change the world. But you will come to realise that as long as you can enrich the lives of others close to you then you are doing your best. Remember the moments where you support someone going to their new job or to the swimming baths. Treasure those moments where you help them cook a meal in their own home and realise how important you are to the elderly man who wants to tell you about his childhood every time he sees you. That’s making a real difference.
You will become (and still are) a personal trainer. This all came about because of the hours each day that you spend in the gym. You might as well become a PT! But you’ll be older and wiser when you do. Right now, a workout is pumping up those nightclub muscles so that you can look good in a T. But when you’re closing in on 40 you begin to understand that training is about being able to put your own socks on in the morning and having the energy to run in the park with your kids. This knowledge is useful to you in your career as a PT.
Depression never goes away. I am sorry that you experienced dark thoughts as a teenager. But you will deal with each day as it comes, trying to overcome it in your 20’s. Eventually you just live with it and keep it in its place. The gym will help you, but the big turning point for you will be when you meet your future wife. You’ve got 10 years to go yet. Together you begin to start seeing life differently. You start to live life rather than endure it.
However, you will meet some amazing and influential people along the way but it’s only on reflection will you be able to appreciate it. Everything you and those around you do shape you and your environment. It moulds you. So you’ll soon realise who the people are that you need to hang around with and who to stay clear of.
I need to go now. I need to allow you to continue your journey that leads you to writing this message.
But just one last thing! Don’t turn off the 2005 Champions League final! I won’t tell you what happens but just keep watching it until the match finishes.
Keep smiling Shay. It’ll all turn out ok in the end.
Sometimes the little wins create huge, long term success. And so that is what I’m hoping is happening in the case of my oldest boys sleeping behaviour. A little win here and there.
The other night I meditated with him just before he went to sleep. Following the similar pattern which we have now done for a couple of weeks, we created a number of positive visualizations together to bring about a comforting night sleep.
The theme of this visualization was to imagine traveling along a big, white fluffy cloud with all of his friends and family which would take him to a mountain where he could peacefully dream. This mountain I called Mount Sleepmore.
As I guided him through his journey to this mountain, I too closed my eyes and imagined the forests, seas, rivers and sand below. Above me I could see the twinkling of the stars. It was calm and serene as this great big cloud chugged along the night sky taking us to our peaceful mountain.
Usually, if the visualisation is working for me as the guide, I feel that it is being effective for the listener. The steady breathing and the stillness of the environment certainly indicated to me that it was working.
As we arrived at Mount Sleepmore, I left my son to continue his visualisations by reassuring him that, although the meditation was ending, his imagination could keep him in his happy place.
The next morning, he told us that he had had a bad dream through the night and thought about coming into our bedroom to sleep with us for comfort. But instead he tried to get back to sleep on his own, which he managed. I’m hoping that the techniques that he is acquiring are enabling him to comfort himself in these situations. If he can get back to Mount Sleepmore on his own, this is a big deal in his sleeping development.
However, it also proves that meditation doesn’t get rid of negative thoughts, bad dreams or worries. We cannot forget our daily tasks, the grind or our fears. These feel very real to us that can affect our lives greatly.
But it can help us to know how to respond to them. Through repetition and consistency, I believe that the power of the mind and positive mantras, visualisations and meditation can enable us to approach our difficulties in a much healthier way. It can alter the way we perceive ourselves and our environment. It can create a mindset that is able to deal with whatever curve ball is thrown at us.
I started by saying that it is the little wins that are vital. And each positive thought that you can express is the little wins. Finding a moment in your day to encourage these thoughts through meditation is a very useful way of doing it.
You can find your own Mount Sleepmore anywhere in your own imagination if you allow yourself the time to do it.
I have created a meditation guide that might be useful to those in need of a little inspiration. If you have ten minutes then give it a go using the link above!
A very interesting piece of information struck me the other night. Sometimes, actually getting 10 minutes peace and allowing our mind to focus on something other than the daily grind is extremely difficult. Meditating or visualising positive outcomes is not always an easy thing to do especially with a busy lifestyle or a generally anxious mind.
When somebody approaches me and tells me about their anxieties I will often recommend meditation, but their response is mixed. It appeals to many people but there are also those who will say to me that they have tried but find it very difficult, even with a meditation guide such as myself.
And recently I have noticed my eldest son wanting to choose his own theme when it comes to meditation. For those of you who have read my blogs for some time you might remember me telling you that he has suffered with anxieties in the past which could have been caused by previous lockdowns. And I think this might be fairly common for many other children too. For our children, we decided to try short meditations with them during their night time routine which went really well.
However, just in the past couple of nights he has been requesting his own different scenarios in which he can enter during his meditations. This made me think. A beach setting, walking through a meadow, floating on a cloud or just visualising sitting in a favourite quiet place might seem like the perfect destination for a meditation, but if it isn’t where you want to be in that moment, then it won’t be as effective. Why can’t we become a superhero for the night? Why can’t we play the part of the pebble as the waves of the sea ebb in and out? Why can’t we be the rain drop that descends through the atmosphere? You can be.
For many of us, it’s a stretch of the imagination, but with a guided meditation together we might be able to unlock the potential in your mind and, as I have recently discovered, if the meditation guide knows exactly what a person would like to discover then it becomes a much more personalized experience. A kind of bespoke meditation designed specifically for that one person. Nobody else’s. It’s just their experience.
So, although completely in the early stages of development, I aim to provide this new service to those who wish to try it out.
And if it’s anything like the past two evenings for my children then this bespoke approach to meditation might be the key to releasing other children’s anxieties too. It’s like choosing your own adventure where only good things happen in your own safe space, being the character that you want to be, being satisfied with the ending and waiting for the next episode with imagination, enthusiasm, excitement and calm.
The channel on YouTube will be called Tranquil Youth Meditation. Click the link to discover more about it!
Let me be clear right now about your latest derailing of your goals; it will not define you.
The extra food that you ate, the missed fitness class, the duvet day or the excessive alcohol that you drank will not define your success or your failure.
You have simply experienced a moment in time that didn’t fit in with your goals. Fuck it. Move on.
I like to give the occasional quote by some literary genius or scientist to emphasize my point in my blogs, but this time I present to you a football manager… Liverpool’s Jürgen klopp. This week, in the same week that I lost the sale of my house, thus waving goodbye to a very nice house in Bem De Fe, practically having a none existent exercise routine creating an appetite for poor nutritional food and Liverpool facing knockout in the Champions League against Real Madrid, Klopp gave me a golden piece of wisdom.
“Just try. If we can do it, wonderful. If not, then fail in the most beautiful way.”
Fail in the most beautiful way. I love that sentence. We fail all the time. And when we do, we have two options. We can either crumble and give in, or we can learn something from it and go again.
How do we fail? In our daily lives we get situations that let us down, we divert from our personal goals, we forget something important, we are disappointed in our behaviour or don’t give a good account of ourselves. These are all things that we have to deal with. Managing this and responding to it is where the real success happens.
Failure does not define you, but your reaction to it will.
So when you fail, do it in the most beautiful way.
We are all in a constant process of change. How you choose to adapt and evolve is largely down to you as an individual.
Your thoughts and feelings are probably very different to those of 20 years ago. Or 10 years ago. Or one year ago. And even less.
In the time that you click onto this page and read up to this point, your brain has inputted, stored and refreshed this information and it will keep happening every 15 seconds of your life. This continuity field allows the brain to call upon past experiences, snapshots and perceptions and use it in present situations. And because the brain is constantly collecting this information and storing it, we adapt our beliefs, thoughts and feelings along with it.
Once we know and understand this, the quote by Soren Kierkegaard starts to make sense…
“Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.”
The brain is constantly traveling back in time to recall each moment that is relevant for the present experience of the individual. Collecting stored data to form appropriate actions. This is how we are able to scan words when we read.
But, despite these most amazing things happening to our brains, we are the director of change and evolution. This is how habits can be broken and how past experiences can be used for strength, positivity and future happiness.
Heraclitus said…
“No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man.”
What did he mean? My interpretation of this is that once you step into a river the water is displaced with new water and the nature of the river is changed permanently. You are also changing.
Just because you have experienced a moment in your life does not mean that you must replay it. It just needs a little rethink, or in the case of your brain, a rewire. We can train our brain to do as we want. We can change what we don’t like, but your brain needs new material to process.
Neuroplasticity is the term used to describe the brain’s ability to adapt to different circumstances throughout your life. Affirmations, which is a technique to instill a positive mindset through repeated words and sentences, is the most popular way of achieving this brain rewire.
Affirmations are often short sentences that can be easily remembered and stored in your brain. And as we have discovered, once your brain has inputted this into its system, it will roll it out when needed.
Governments and ad companies use them too! So it’s not some hocus pocus stuff that some people want to believe.
I’m lovin’ it. Just do it. Get Brexit done. Build a wall. These are just a few examples of successful catchy earworms that are/were repeated to us constantly but there are actually thousands and thousands of other examples of clever affirmations that are instilled into our brain in order for us to act how that particular campaign wants us to act. Well, the good news is that it is actually YOU in control as long as you can counter the influences from around us.
You just need to keep telling yourself and reminding yourself of your aspirations, needs and life goals. If a burger company can make us keep going back to eat burgers with the same texture of cardboard and a government can instruct a whole nation to strip themselves of their rights and leave the EU whilst they titter all the way to their offshore accounts, then I’m sure that we can all manipulate our brains with our own affirmations. Positive affirmations.
When you stand in the river, it changes. Make sure that you change what you want to change too by giving your brain positive things to process. Because when it comes to it, your brain will be using this information to enable you to make those changes.
Continue to remind yourself who and what gets you out of bed each morning. Keep telling yourself how well you could do the new job that you have applied for and repeatedly remind yourself of your health and fitness goals. Write stuff down. Put it on a white board or on the fridge door. Keep your favourite affirmation as a screen saver. Anything at all to allow your brain to compute those words and keep them.
Everything keeps changing. You don’t have to be the one thing that doesn’t.
Never Give Up PT 