Not A True Story
The other day I had been training for an hour and i noticed a guy training beside me for a while. We gave a few nods to one another as we selected our weights and at one point I muttered “have you finished with those 22’s pal”. Our training intensified. I felt pretty good that day and this guy was obviously a veteran of the free weights area. We ended up simultaneously grunting out each rep which, to the other side of the gym, must have sounded like a porno you order on Wish. We were scraping ourselves off of the floor by the end, obviously being spurred on by each other. He turned to me, smiled and said”Why do we do it to ourselves?”
I get this question a lot. I usually just smile and say “I dunno. I’m getting too old for this.” But on that particular day, I said….
“Training can help boost energy levels, self esteem, sleep quality and mood. It helps us combat health conditions and diseases including strokes, type 2 diabetes, arthritis, depression and cancer. Research also tells us that performing regular exercise reduces our chance of becoming seriously ill from Covid.
Resistance training not only helps us in the now but we are giving ourselves the best chance to be as independent as possible in later life. It shapes our body through increasing bone density and muscle firmness and keeps us from wanting to eat and drink poor food choices because we are proud of our goal setting and our achievements and we don’t want to destroy our good work.
I become a better dad and husband after training. My mindset is in a much better place because I feel strong both physically and mentally. People meet friends while working out and a gym can be a place of sanctuary and a social hub.
I can wear T-shirts and feel proud of my body. I sometimes tense my bicep and say ‘Hello Mr Bicep’ in the same voice as Phoebe did to Chandler in Friends. I could even squeeze into skinny jeans if I were into that kind of fashion because after a few squats I think my ass looks like Beyonce’s. It probably doesn’t, but I don’t care because I think it does and it is my body and I have to live in it every single day and if I think I’ve got a good ass then I have a good ass.”
As I stood towards the mirror and twerked my booty whilst giving it a firm slap, he walked away shaking his head. I’ve not seen him since.
If You Walk With A Stick You Develop A Limp
I have a question.
When you play football, run, bend down to pick your kids up, carry shopping bags, have sex, decorate your home or do the gardening do you wear a weightlifting belt?
I think I might know your answer but I can tell you that I don’t. So why would I wear a belt in the gym? In my opinion, only powerlifters who are competing in lifting heavier than their opponent or attempting a PB really need to wear a belt. And even then, they won’t need to wear it for every minute of every training session.
So why do I see people in the gym squeezing the life out of themselves like they’re fitting into an 18th century corset?
Seeing as this was one of my mistakes in the gym before I knew what I was doing I might be able to answer.
* I felt part of a group of men in the weights section who thought they were the dogs bollocks. The gym bro.
* I had severe back pain so I wore a belt so that I could lift far too heavy weight and damage my back further.
* I felt like a wrestler walking onto the gym floor, buckled up, gloves on, straps on knees and shoulders and heavy metal playing in the ear phones and my hood over my head. More like the Ultimate Prat than the Ultimate Warrior.
* I wanted to stabilise my core. Rather than actually work on my core to become stronger, I wanted a belt to do it for me.
Absolutely, a power lifter will need to work on their core, but when their success can depend on just one almighty lift that can cause serious injury in the moment or in their future lives then a belt can give them just enough stability to get that lift out. It is their sport. They need a belt.
But I’m not convinced the regular gym goer does. They can do more harm and cause more regression than good.
It’s like using a hiking stick when you take the dog to the grass verge for it’s morning poo. You don’t need it.
The average gym goer can learn so much more from their own strength, technique, movement, core and general fitness if they were to ditch the gym regalia. The mind to muscle can’t develop if it needs to break through a weightlifting belt. Over use the belt and we are in danger of under using our core.
You might find that you deadlift and squat less without the belt, but unless you are training to be in Strongman competition or a Power lifter, you could see much more progress in your over all fitness experience.
Workout Supplements?
I used to go to the likes of Holland & Barrets and gym bro supplement shops regularly. The mindset of many gyms that I frequented was ‘what is the point of putting in the hard work without supplementing your gainz?!’
It became just as important to me to take the pre workout, creatine, taurine, ZMA, BCAA and protein powder as it was to do my workout. With a short spell of injecting dianobol too, I could be found crawling the gym ceiling more often than achieving anything on the gym floor. We live and learn.
And I guess a moment of change for me was meeting my wife. Not only did she clean up my lifestyle but she could cook. And I’m talking using ingredients that I didn’t even know existed! Ingredients that had all of the natural benefits of what I was trying to find from a capsule or a powder. Fifteen years on and with me exploring my own culinary skills it has been life changing to find that I don’t need all of the supplements in my diet. Eating food will always be the best way to fuel my body.
However, I wouldn’t discredit the supplements I listed above as they can be useful tools depending on your goals and your training period. You need to know how and when to take them and importantly you must realise that there is still the hard work to do in the gym.
Today I was asked twice about protein powder and if it is worth them taking it. Its a common question in my job and yet my answer cannot always be the same. It depends on the person asking. But I have a general rule in protein shakes. Only drink it if you have been unable to eat a decent meal with good a portion of protein. Perhaps you got stuck at work or you’d prefer not to pay a tenner for a dry sandwich at a motorway garage. Then it’s a good time to open up your car boot with your emergency protein powder and shaker bottle inside.
A protein drink shouldn’t be shoe horned into a diet unless you want to gain size. Then you might want to add the calories. Sure, there are low calorie versions, but if you’re being careful with your calories then adding any extra calories from a protein shake seems pointless. Surely when you limit your daily calories your meals become even more important. You need the nutrients, the vitamins and the almost full feeling from real food, not a drink.
For anybody going into training in the gym properly then I would advise a good training program and a sensible nutritional approach. Both of which escaped me for years and is why I became desperate with my supplements hoping for something magical to happen.
At 43 my drive comes from getting stronger and remaining ‘in good shape’. This would see me well as I get older. And the only things that can keep me on the right path is consistent training and nutrition. Not pills and potions.
So be cautious about your supplementation. Speak to a fit pro who you know and trust, I find this much more helpful than asking Gloria from Holland & Barrets. And the gym bro supplement shops are likely to sell you any crap anyway, especially if you come across as a novice.
Lightness Of Being
In football, as a penalty taker places the ball on the penalty spot, I can almost sense the outcome. Its in their breathing and in their eyes. They both give so much away in all aspects of life. Football is no different. A professional footballer, no matter how good they are, can display these telling signs of anxiety.
Those who remain calm or zen-like often manage to outwit the goalkeeper. Unless the goalie guesses the right way and gets a strong hand to it I am pretty sure that Mo Salah will score his penalty. One big intake of breath and steely eyed, he never looks like missing. He believes that he can, so he probably will.
And although you won’t earn £300k a week from doing it, your approach to the barbel for your next lift is very similar. If you don’t believe that you can, you probably won’t. This is just an extension of life.
Not asking the boy or girl out that you’ve had a crush on for ages passes you by because of past rejection.
Not applying for an exciting job role because you didn’t think that you were worthy.
Not doing anything about the things that make you unhappy because you have tried and failed before.
Everything we try to do now and in the future is a product of how we view our past. We hold onto our failures. It weighs us down.
Fear, past experience, lack of preparation, doubt and a self fulfilled prophecy create uncertainties within our minds and it often leads to missed opportunities because of it. We become burdened by our inability to accept our lightness of being. We are of a heavy mind.
We all have history that we wished we could change. I wish that I had seen more of my mum before she died. I wish I’d have followed my Personal Training ambitions ten years earlier. On both occasions, I was afraid of loss and disappointment that I didn’t know how to carry forward. And yet it is still carried forward, but it is in my hands on how I choose to carry it. I realize that now.
My lightness of being tells me that I am where I am now because of decisions I have made, good and bad. Had I chosen a different career I wouldn’t have met my future wife and I wouldn’t have my two beautiful children. I juggled a career and a family whilst knowing that my mum was dying of cancer. I did what I could. My dad was amazing. She was very proud of us.
Our past can determine how we behave and what outcomes are concluded. Our past can numb us from future success. But our past doesn’t exist anymore. It has gone. We’ve been there, done it and it means nothing to our future unless we carry it upon our shoulders onto our next chapter.
Our past is just a story that we tell ourselves. It conveys through our mind like a carousel. Now it’s time to find yourself a better narrative.
The shackles that hold me back, I know, are my demons that I have invented in my head. They exist only in my deepest and darkest moments. I don’t want to rewrite history, but I want to give the future me a fighting chance. If I allow my demons to take over, that can’t happen. They are there and I am aware of them, but like fuck will they control me.
I’m placing the ball on the penalty spot…deep breath. I know where it’s going.
My past is just a story. I am in control of how this story ends.
Rosie The Riveter
I am no longer surprised when I am approached from a female about PT whether 1-1 or online programming that a part of their goals is to become stronger.
Where once I had to reassure a female trainee that they would not become bulky by performing resistance training in the weights area, they are now actively seeking out the barbells and dumbbells to train with.
And if you are confused at this point let me confirm…eating more food makes you bulky. Then I’ll address the elephant in the room and say that added testosterone levels are necessary for unnatural bulk. So females of any age and myself on the wrong side of 40 have no chance, like it or not.
Performing a few deadlifts won’t make you flat chested, look orange and pose on stage like you’re constipated in a sequinned bikini. But, as I say, females seem to be coming round to the fact that you can be strong and lift weights without talking like Dolph Lundgren.
As I reflected on International Women’s Day I wondered when this shift in attitude started. And I recall the posters such as Rosie The Riveter which became a symbolic picture of the female’s efforts in the USA during World War Two when they had to take on predominantly male roles as the men fought in the war.
Much like the females in the UK, the women kept the country going in jobs that would have only been offered to men previously. And a show of strength is not just physical. I see footage of strong women protecting their children as they flee war in Ukraine. I watch as 90 year old women, born during World Wars, now fight and protect their family with their last bit of energy.
These women are stronger than me.
Females have had to fight for a vote, to sit on a bus and social mysoginy while raising children, running households, gaining careers and now, as I witness daily, getting strong.
As I conduct a consultation with a prospective client, male or female, I make it very clear that resistance training will be a part of their program. Unless they are training specifically for a marathon, I cannot think of any reason why it shouldn’t be. With the correct diet for a trainee’s goals, resistance training can contribute to fat loss, muscle gain, physical and mental strength and wellness, confidence and the ability to self care in later life. I want the short snippet of time that they have with me to impact them for the rest of their lives.
And due to the attitude of my trainees they inspire me too. They do become stronger. They do get results. They do learn and continue training hard long after they work with me. And many of them are females.
Rosie The Riveter was actually a lady called Naomi Parker Rodgers who died at the age of 97. Forever remembered as a strong independent woman.
Spa Date
As a business owner with half of his business online, the idea of a phone detox for most of the day is unsettling. Whether it be on holidays or Christmas day a quick phone check is never too far away.
Today, however, if anybody needed to contact me they would have to find me laid on a hot stone in a herbal sauna room at Alpamare. My wife and I had booked a spa day.
We have concluded that evenings out without child care is impossible so instead we must take out some times from our booking schedules from the daytime to give to ourselves. Sometimes, as the weeks roll on, it is easy to forget about us and our marriage as our jobs as Shay the PT, Lou the massage therapist and our mummy and daddy jobs take over. We love our jobs and we love our kids, but we still need to allow ourselves occasions where we become Shay and Lou. Individuals. Partners. Man and wife. So three hours in a spa was very welcome.
But a few hours spa session isn’t just necessary for busy parents. And nor does it have to be a spa session. Bowling, the cinema, a restaurant meal or simply going for a walk can all be good respite from the daily grind.
It can all come under the umbrella of wellness and it can be done alone too, just as long as you do it.
I often encourage my trainees to reward themselves, celebrate their wins and acknowledge their achievements. Now, although I am a PT and this can be interpreted as achievements in a gym setting, the broader picture is what we are achieving in all aspects of life. One part of life is rarely successful if the rest is stressful, unmanageable or damaging.
I couldn’t be a good coach if my home life was crap and I couldn’t be the best husband or dad if I hated my job. And if I am suffering in these most important aspects of my life, then my motivation to succeed in the gym would suffer. If this suffers, my health and wellbeing suffers. And there goes the vicious cycle, because if I am not at my most physical and mental best then it is my family and work that will go into decline.
So there’s a lot to be said for wearing a towel robe and having a foot scrub whilst listening to rainforest music.
Rewards are sometimes confused with food choices. Some professionals subscribe to the notion that a good active week means that we can reward ourselves with a biscuit. I disagree. I’m not a dog. I don’t perform a trick and beg for a biscuit. If I want a biscuit I’ll have a bloody biscuit. Food rewards make for a poor relationship with food. Food treats cause anxiety.
Our funds won’t stretch to weekly spa dates and as much as we try to create gaps in our daytime schedule if we are lucky enough to be extra busy then we take the opportunities to be at work. We are both in careers that don’t offer security from week to week or pay sick and holiday pay, so if work is available we take it. Therefore our times together are precious.
And once the kids get home from school and I’m back in the gym, those rainforest sounds will seem like a long time ago!
Young People And Resistance Training
My kids are beginning to ask about the work that I do. My eldest, who is 8, goes to football practice at the same sports centre as where I do the majority of my personal training so he often sees the inside of a gym and is very inquisitive about what each piece of equipment does. His first love is football, but ever since he did gymnastics from 4 years old I could see his love for all sports and movement.
There is a big debate about what age a child should be introduced to resistance training and, although many people say that a child as young as 8 is too young and can stump growth due to damaged growth plates, more recent research strongly suggests that it is the perfect age.
So, my view is this…
If you are going to train incorrectly then you shouldn’t begin resistance training at all until you know what to do. And that’s at any age. You will almost certainly cause more harm than good.
An 8 year old can do very light resistance training if they are being taught correctly. Studies show that it can strengthen a child’s bones, joints and muscle, improve movement as they grow and are able to avoid injury or recover from injury quicker. It is also a great discipline that improves self esteem.
Resistance training can do everything for a child that it can for an adult, but for a young developing body it has a great advantage over an older body that has stopped growing. The idea that it can have a detrimental effect to a child’s body was amplified in reports by the American Academy of Pediatrics almost 40 years ago and their concerns shouldn’t be discounted even now.
However, due to a much greater knowledge of resistance training and hundreds of papers later, it is understood that it can be done safety. And it is a calculated risk that I’m willing to take with my kids. After all, they’ll be guided by a qualified PT. Not many kids will have that luxury. Indeed, due to not having PT parents and the reports on young people performing resistance training being largely negative as I were growing up, it is something that never even entered my mind to want to do.
My idea of a gym back in the 80’s were of a backstreet garage and grunting men. Maybe that isn’t wholly accurate, but nevertheless, gyms have most definitely changed since then. The gym I train at, which calls itself a Sports Center and homes the town’s football team Scarborough Athletic FC, caters for the young and old with a variety of sports to play. For a young athlete, it is a kid’s dream. I can’t deny my kids a little taster of it’s gym equipment.
My eldest has an appetite for being in the gym and learning about what and why certain movements are performed. Many activities are often body weight only, such as squats, press up or a plank. We don’t need to load the bar just yet! But just getting the taste for it right now is a positive step in him becoming an active and strong (both mentally and physically) young man.
And I’m hoping that when both of my boys are strong athletic men they’ll be able to push their dear old dad to the shops.
Foraging In The Happy Place
I’ll admit it right from the off. I’m no Ray Mears.
However, I do like a spot of foraging with my family. Showing my kids how to develop a healthy relationship with food has to be one of the most rewarding of parenting jobs. And turning to nature is the best place to begin.
Mindful eating doesn’t have to start at the dinner table, or indeed in the kitchen. Hunting for food should be one of the most natural things we can do. Mindful eating can start by searching, feeling and smelling for our food.
We are Homo Sapiens. We are meant to hunt. I am convinced that a reason our society is at a critical stage with depression and obesity is that everything we are as humans is slowly getting stripped away. And men, the once titled hunter gatherer, has a much higher suicide rate than females in the western world.
What sense of achievement or satisfaction does a man get from bringing home a KFC bucket to his children? His skills, bravery, creativity and masculinity stripped away from him because humans were too clever for their own good. They invented the convenience of fast food shops and supermarkets. They no longer needed to hunt.
Now I’m not saying that progression and development of societies aren’t useful. But for all of our knowledge, technology and convenience we should still remain grounded in remembering what we are and what makes us tick.
My family and I are lucky enough to live by the sea. Its a 5 minute walk to the cliff edge and the wildlife is fantastic. During lockdown it became our happy place and it soon became a venue for foraging. Today, we were hunting for nettles.
Once washed and blanched, nettles make great tasting soups, pesto and hummus. Not exactly high on our boy’s list of favourite foods, but we’ve been foraging for a while now and still haven’t come across pizza or fish fingers, so we’ll keep working on their range of favourite meals.
What our kids did discover today though, even if their reactions will look more like a bush tucker trial when it comes to feeding them it, is where the food comes from. They found it and picked it from the land. Their attitude to food, I hope, will be a positive one. One that can find food from the cliff edge as easily as finding the freezer section at Sainsbury’s.
The UK media talk about the possibility of taxing junk food to put consumers off of buying it. But this will only hit the poorest in our society. What we need to do is educate our children if we are to break the cycle regarding our attitude to food.
Our two hours foraging today was, the kids agreed, their highlight of the weekend. That makes me very happy. In a society where competing against the Xbox for the kid’s attention, I’ll settle for that right now.
Everybody Needs Good Neighbours
There are a few stand out memories of when I was a child with my mum. And now that she has gone, those memories become even more special.
Watching Liverpool against Arsenal in the old first division on TV with my dad and my mum entered the room and shouted “Come on Arsenal!” remains high up there. Arsenal’s Michael Thomas scored straight after my mum called for Arsenal. It was a last minute winner for them in the last game of the season to clinch the title away from Liverpool.
League titles for Liverpool have been hard to come by since then, so I’ll never forget that!
We went abroad on holiday as a family a few times which seemed very luxurious for us at the time, but it was a week in Skipsea, Primrose Valley or Morecambe that I remember the most about my mum on holiday. 10 people cramming into a caravan for a game of cards late at night while the kids watched on fuelled by sweet seaside rock no doubt. Good times.
And then there were the times that I was ill and didn’t go to school. I remember my mum bringing me a chunky veg soup and watching Neighbors on TV with me. Neighbours was on twice a day and it’s first daily showing was at lunchtime. I don’t think I’ll be the only kid who remembers watching Neighbours with their parents. Whether it was on a lunchtime or it’s teatime showing, families would all want to know the gossip on Ramsey Street.
Imagine my disappointment then, of hearing that Neighbours was getting cancelled. After 37 years on our screens it had finally met its end. And listening to a phone in on the radio I realized that there were lots of other people who had watched it with their parents too. It was a part of growing up! In fact I was surprised to discover that many of these people talking about their memories of watching Neighbours with their parents were actually now watching it with their own kids! I had stopped watching it in the early 90’s. I probably ditched it for the edgier Heartbreak High.
So I find it odd that I find myself writing about a TV programme that I haven’t even watched in 30 years and I’m obviously emotional by this news!
But it isn’t because I will never know what happens to Karl Kennedy or find out if Scott and Charlene lived happily ever after.
It is the thought of something comforting and familiar that sparked a happy memory… disappearing. I live just half an hour drive from Primrose Valley and Morecambe is still there. Liverpool and Arsenal will continue to battle it out in top flight football. It continues to exist and bring memories.
But slurping on a bowl of chunky veg soup with Neighbours on TV with my mum next to me won’t happen again and the comfort of the settings, the characters and the theme tune will become even more distant than ever before.
Isn’t it funny what memories we keep?
Never Give Up PT 