Pomp And Circumstance

Me being all pompy and curcumstancy

If you can remember Brie Vandercamp from the US drama Desperate Housewives, you would get the idea of what my wife is like in the lead up to an event. Whether it be one of our boys birthday parties, Christmas day or as it was on this occasion the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee street party, Lou will spend hours in the kitchen baking and making the day really special for everyone.

Lou and Jonas at the Jubilee street party

Our boys get involved in the baking too, but on the whole, they have to put up with Lou stressing in the kitchen and me running about trying to be sous chef. Our two boys, aged just 8 and 5, are very patient with us!

They understand pomp. I hate pomp and I hope that our kids do when they grow up too, but they understand that it is something that grown ups do sometimes. We entertain guests. We show off our freshly baked buns. We take a neighbour to see our newly fitted kitchen. We invite friends round to watch the footy on the 60 inch state of the art TV on Sky. Us grown ups love it.

For some it’s a case of showing off a skill at something and being able to showcase it to our friends. Or perhaps it’s splashing the cash to appear affluent or doing well in life. For others it might be the regalia of dressing up and enjoying the limelight.

At some stage, our boys have seen this from us as parents and from others around them. Yet, although the event is important at the time (after all who wants an over baked bun) it is nothing but pomp and circumstance. It means nothing.

I’m not interested in my eldests new footy skill or spelling results. I’m not bothered about when my youngest first ties his shoelaces or his table manners.

As I tucked my youngest into bed tonight I whispered ‘Thank you. Thank you for being you.” I don’t care what anybody else thinks he is good at or not good at, I just love the person that he is. He should know this. He should love himself. He should love himself for being himself. I know I do.

Finlay being Finlay

So far, I have two boys that believe in God, love the UK royalty and what they stand for and want Aston Villa and Barcelona to win everything. I don’t have the same views. But I will facilitate their own beliefs, views and wishes without my own prejudices. I am not always right in what I believe in, but it’s right for me. The same goes for them. They still believe in Santa. If they still believe in Santa when they’re 30 then I’ll be jealous because they haven’t become a sinical old git like me.

I have been accused before of shunning the Union Jack flag. I don’t wave it with patriotic pride. But I wouldn’t wave any countries flag with pride. I’m proud of being an Earthling. I just think that flags and anthems can be a barrier to being a better Earthling. So today, as much as I appreciate that I am privileged to live in a relatively safe country, celebrating an institution I consider outdated was out of my comfort zone. But I did it because my family wanted to be a part of a celebration that was important to them.

I will teach my boys right from wrong. But I want them to make their own minds up on so much about what life will ask of them on their own. They will make mistakes but the biggest mistake they could make is being afraid of making one at all. Make decisions. Make choices. Make bad ones. Make good ones. But son, make one and learn from it.

They’ll get caught up in the pomp and circumstance of life as they get older. They’ll want a bigger Christmas tree than the Bennetts from number 39 one day. They’ll strive for 5 bedrooms rather than 4 when they’re a home owner. They’ll want to show off their first ever car to a partner. They’ll want adoration from somebody else.

I just hope that they realise that getting someone else’s approval shouldn’t be what makes them happy in life. Their happiness depends on their own perception of themselves, not what others allow them to believe.

5 Minutes

We aren’t going to go through life faultless. If I could give my younger self any advice it would be this. We make mistakes, but the biggest mistake of all would be not to use that lesson and improve on what we have learned from it.

I missed so many opportunities to learn.

Being guided by experience shouldn’t be a case of dwelling on your past though. Looking back for too long can give you neck ache. And although looking to the future can be helpful, trying to plan your next 10 years can often be a hindrance too.

Sometimes, just knowing what you are going to do in the next 5 minutes is enough. A positive 5 minutes can lead to another positive 5 minutes, and so on.

Just seeing the end game doesn’t allow us to create a strategy on how to get there. The next 5 minutes is your pawn. The right moves along the way allow us to make check mate.

No matter who you believe to be your enemy aren’t really the ones holding you back. You are your own opponent. You are the only person who is capable of defeating yourself.

And yet within just 5 minutes you can draw on your experiences to create a better, clearer outlook. Not perfect. Never perfect. But clearer.

You don’t have to be perfect. Trying to be perfect is boring. Actually being perfect, well, I’ve never ever known such a thing. But that sounds pretty boring too.

We need these imperfections to challenge us and grow as we experience the many different aspects of life that will undoubtedly provide moments of difficulty.

So, your next 5 minutes can be a positive experience or a negative experience.

It’s your move.

10,000 Kicks

It’s coming up to 50 years since the release of the Bruce Lee movie Enter The Dragon. It was one of my all time favourite films growing up. I’d watch it many times with my dad and it sparks good memories when I watch it now to this day. Bruce Lee was a hero of mine growing up. His quotes resonated with me too. These are some of my favourites…

“I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times”

This can be used as an analogy for many different circumstances in our lives. In fitness, I see this as the biggest stumbling block to people’s goals. We try to be good at everything, but in doing so, we often end up being good at nothing. We give up as we see failure as a conclusion rather than a pathway. We chop and change our routines until our bodies are confused about what we are asking it to do.

“Defeat is a state of mind. No-one is ever defeated until defeat has been accepted as reality.”

If you have found what activities that you enjoy then stick to it. Practice 10,000 times and more. Do you think that every one of your kicks will be perfect? Do you think that by quitting you will reach your goals? Practicing is hard. Quitting is hard. Choose your hard.

Keep practicing your kick and you will sometimes fail. Stop practicing your kick and you have always failed.

Your last kick is neither your best kick nor your worst kick. It just provides a platform for your next kick. Practice dealing with the good efforts and the failures. Both will see you hit your goals in time.

“It is like a finger pointing away to the moon. Don’t concentrate on the finger or you will miss all that heavenly glory.”

I have talked about your ‘why’ previously. Your why is what gets you out of bed each day and enables you to focus. Your why is the moon. Your ultimate goal. The finger merely provides an instant direction. From there you just have to focus on your goal and be certain of your path towards it. Focus on the finger for too long and you lose your goal. It is just a finger. The moon cannot be observed anymore.

Don’t forget the focus on your why.

Fasting, Cereals And Chip Butties

My car mechanic friend doesn’t come round to my house and start fiddling under my car bonnet.

I don’t meet up with my dentist friend for him to suddenly tell me to say ‘aargh’ while he pokes a mirror around my mouth.

My football coach pal doesn’t enlighten me on the advantages of the Christmas tree formation when he comes over for a BBQ.

And I don’t nip round to their house and demand that they give me ten Burpees whilst preparing them a protein shake.

It becomes a little bit awkward, though, when a friend tells me that they are ‘fasting’ and might manage a slice of toast later. I nodded along with their intentions as I ate my chip butty on Scarborough South Bay. The smells of the freshly made doughnuts and fish and chip shops means that I manage to fast by the seaside for about 15 minutes when I’m there.

Two things sprung to mind as I turned my attention to the kids leftovers from their trays. ‘Rather you than me’, I thought. But my biggest thought was ‘Why?’.

Fasting is actually a form of dieting that I have a little bit more time for. After all, it isn’t a ‘fad’ diet. This is a method that was invented by the ancient Greeks and was endorsed by Hippocrates to cure illness around 400BC. So it’s perhaps much more bona fide than the newest trend that your friend Chantelle read about on Facebook.

Also, if we were to sleep for 8 hours a day as it is recommended we do then we are fasting for 8 hours each day anyway. But what happens when we wake up? Personally, I will make a fruit and spinach smoothie which in the scrictest of terms is breaking my fast, but I rarely have a meal of such. But this is the key. If you are to fast for any length of time, the moment that you do eat it must be packed with vitamins and protein. In other words, not just a slice of toast, a bag of crisps, a chocolate bar or (in my opinion) even cereals.

Cereals are hardly balanced and are high in sugar, sweeteners and preservatives. After a break of a fast (breakfast), cereals can spike your insulin levels extremely high. And what goes up must come down, right? Usually with a bang and very often before you get to lunch time. Yes, mid morning snacks are often because you started with the wrong choice of breakfast in the first place.

We often call breakfast the most important meal of the day. It’s actually a clever marketing slogan. But who planted this idea into our heads? Well, it was Dr Kellogg’s himself wanting to sell his newly invented breakfast cereal in the 1800’s. We have been spiking our insulin with sugar ladened cereals ever since. And as they market their cereal with cute characters on the box, the kids think they’re grrrrrrrreat too!

And still we wonder why the UK is fast becoming the leading country in obesity and diabetes. I would start my case right there.

Fasting is a term used far too easily with dieters. In my experience, what they are describing is a form of punishment. Skipping meals and eventually succumbing to a poor nutritional snack or meal is just another missed opportunity. The calories that have been avoided from skipping meals will be reclaimed in the occasions when you binge or snack.

Six nutritional meals will be less calories than 3 poor meals a day. After all, each one of these poor meals will only spike your blood sugar levels. Spike up, spike down, crave food and repeat. That is the process that most of us who struggle with weight maintenance go through.

How 99.9% of us fast in the UK would have Hippocrates spinning in his grave.

So whilst I acknowledge that I have the occasional chip butty and, in fact, most of my friends will see me eating and drinking poor nutritional choices (I don’t socialize and eat salad and water) what they don’t see is that around 80% of my nutrition is of high value with a training programme to boot.

If anybody were to ask me what I thought of their diet or their exercise routine I would be as honest as possible and offer advice. But if they don’t ask me, I’m not going to start telling anyone how to live their lives. Even if their diet sucks.

The Piano Stairs

If the only piece of equipment available to me in the gym was a treadmill I probably wouldn’t go. I don’t particularly enjoy running on a tready. I like training, but I certainly don’t like absolutely everything it involves.

With the closure of gyms during the first lockdown I had to find alternative ways to exercise. But I found that I were skipping sessions and not fully focussing on my training. I simply didn’t have the equipment available to me that really makes me happy. Jogging became a regular activity and I went walking with the family daily of course, but it wasn’t fulfilling my hypertrophy goals and the more sedentary period of my life didn’t help my weight maintenance. I craved a bench press, weight plates to deadlift with and decent dumbbells. That is the sort of workout I enjoy. It makes me happy. I like the results and I keep going back. That is my Piano Stairs.

In Stockholm, Sweden an experiment was conducted on how people’s behaviour can be changed for the better by making a boring everyday task more fun. Musical piano steps were installed in a subway instead of regular steps to see if more people would use the steps instead of the escalator. Results showed that 66% more people used the stairs than usual that day. If more proof was needed that people are more likely to engage in a fun activity than stuck to the mundane then that was it.

Yet when it comes to our health I don’t find it conclusive when I talk to the gym members. Walking on musical stairs for an amusing short period of time instead of standing still on an escalator makes sense, but put the same person in a gym and there’s a good chance that they will choose something safe and uninspiring. It’s important for me to point out that just because I don’t like the tready doesn’t mean that everyone else doesn’t either. If that is what excites a person and motivates them into going to the gym then that is what a large part of their training should involve.

Almost every day I will hear,”I get bored on the treadmill.” Or “I hate deadlifts.”

So why do they use a treadmill or perform deadlifts? There are literally thousands of exercises to do inside or outside of the gym. If there’s exercises that you don’t like, don’t do it!

There has to be a draw to keep going back to the gym. Yes, of course, you have your goals which might include feeling fitter and looking your best, but if you’re going to spend your time absolutely hating the process there’s a good chance that you won’t stick it out, whatever your goals.

I usually get a programme right when I send it to my trainees. However,during feedback if they tell me that there’s something that they do not enjoy I will change that particular exercise. There’s plenty more. We just need to find the right ones that make my trainee want to complete it and keep going back to it. That will give them a better chance of succeeding in reaching their goals.

So, I’ve found my Piano Stairs and I’m sure that my trainees have found theirs. What’s your favourite bits of equipment and exercises that keep you going back for more?

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The Dose Makes The Poison

You might have heard the term, “It is the dose that makes the poison” before. It is referencing the basic principles of toxicology and is credited to Swiss Physician, Paracelsus.

This is a term that springs to my mind when I am choosing my own meals, helping my children with their dietary needs and supporting my clients with their eating habits. I am thinking about the ingredients found in these foods that are known to have a detrimental effect on our health.

From just 5 minutes research, here are some of the ingredients that I found to be the leading protagonists in the ‘bad for you’ foods…

* Monosodium Glutamate (MSG)

MSG is found in fast foods, takeaways, snacks, canned and processed foods. This additive is said to enhance and preserve the flavour of savoury food.

* High Fructose Corn Syrup

Found in sweets, breakfast cereals and juice, this is a sweetener made from corn and is used to replace sugar.

* Artificial Sweeteners

Another sugar replacement to heighten the sweetness of a food whilst keeping the calorie content low.

* Carrageenan

Derived from red seaweed, this is used in many vegan foods as a thickener and preservative. Along with dairy free products it is also found in cottege cheese, ice cream and coffee creamers.

* Trans Fats

A trans fat is an unsaturated fat that is hydrogenated to keep the shelf life of products such as biscuits, baked goods and margarine.

All of the above have very similar health risks associated with them according to research. Weight gain, headache, heart desease, cancer, inflammation of the cells and diabetes. So, does this mean that we avoid them at all costs? Do we start throwing out the ginger nuts and the box of frosties in a state of panic? No. Not if you enjoy them.

So here’s the thing. Unless you are on a totally ‘clean’ diet then I can guarantee that you have put at least one of these ingredients inside of your body today. And by clean I mean plucked that sucker out of the ground yourself or you’ve raised and slaughtered your own chicken. Other than that, when you enter the food industry for your meals, you will consume trans fats, preservatives, sugar or it’s alternatives in your food. The food industry is massive. The sugar industry alone is worth a 100 billion US dollars. This has been hit with the word getting out that sugar might actually be bad for us, so as to not lose out they develope alternative sweeteners as stated on the list above. Either way, the manufacturers will make sure that they don’t miss out.

In the UK, the found and drink industry is the largest manufacturing sector contributing £30 billion to the economy annually and rising year upon year. Despite the nation’s health problems relating to our diets it will not stop them from creating this kind of economical growth. If it sells, they will make it.

But let’s take this discussion back to real life. Life in our daily lives and our homes. You are not overweight because you eat crisps. You will not get diabetes from the can of coke. You will not die of heart desease or get cancer from eating a takeaway.

What will cause ill health is the amount of crisps, cans of coke and takeaways that you have. The dose, as Paracelsus stated, makes the poison.

The reason that we keep going back to these foods is because it triggers something in our brain that makes us feel better while we eat it. Perhaps sometimes we feel guilty for over eating these foods afterwards but that instant hit whilst we are eating it overides any negative outcomes. Depression, low self esteem and failure kicks in as you feel the disappointment that, in some way, you’ve let yourself down.

But you don’t have to. You don’t have to stop eating what you enjoy and you don’t have to go through the pain of feeling anxious about food or the guilt that comes with eating it. Not if you begin each day with the mantra ‘The dose makes the poison.’ No food or drink is bad for you. The amount of it that you eat and drink can be.

I am currently helping many people become confident about their eating habits on my fitness platform. Please get in touch for any enquiries and remember…

It is the dose that makes the poison. You are in total control of that dose.

Food Glorious Food

Nope. The above isn’t me having a cold beer at the end of a working day. It is me (although I’m sure I have more hair in real life) but the drink is banana, cherries, spinach and water.

I’d rather it was a beer. Or wine. G&T even.

I’m half joking. The smoothie drink tastes much better than it looks and I know my habits. I don’t particularly like eating a banana. I don’t like getting a bowl of cherries to snack on. I don’t always drink the recommended daily water requirements and my mealtimes are sometimes rushed as my wife and I finish work at different times, pick the kids up from school, make their dinner and forget about ourselves until much later.

Nutrition isn’t always at the forefront of my mind. I have a very happy relationship with food. There is love, laughter, satisfaction and comfort. Everything that a healthy relationship should have. But I need to understand that this relationship is a two way thing. I can’t keep taking. I need to give too.

I enjoy pizza, kebab and Chinese takeaway. And I always look when Greggs shows a bit of leg in the high street. These days though I try to just look and not touch.

So I need to compromise. If I am not willing to eat ‘clean’, which I aren’t, then I need to meet half way. Occasionally, I will still have the foods that are considered low nutrition but in return I will eat the nutritionally dense foods. Now, don’t get me wrong, eating vegetables isn’t a difficult task for me to do. I can’t think of a vegetable that I don’t like. But fitting this in to a busy life along with all the other criteria’s we are supposed to meet within a waking day is bloody difficult.

My main goal when I set up The Balanced Plate Challenge was for my clients to feel comfortable with their eating habits. Nothing is banned and I don’t expect anybody to eat clean. But over time, they would be able to be in more control of their diet. They knew the nutritional value of each meal, high or low, and make informed choices about snacks, drinks and special occasions. Their relationship with food grows healthier and because of this it doesn’t feel like the hard work that they do in the gym is wasted.

My smoothie is just me balancing my nutrition. It is me acknowledging that to achieve what I want to both physically and mentally I need to put the good stuff in there.

I love food. All of it. I just need to keep it balanced for it to love me back.

shay.pt@hotmail.com

A Habit Loop

Although you can take a Habit Loop situation into any aspect of your life, seeing as I am a fitness coach I will apply this to your fitness journey for the sake of this article. A Habit Loop consists of a Cue, Routine and Reward.

But before we get to your fitness journey, I will initially point out an of example of a habit loop in my recent experience.

My 8 year old son is learning a set of 10 words each week at school for a spelling test. Studies show that he will have to read out these words around 30 times before each word will stay with him.

Cue… We encourage that he reads and writes these words for just a short time each day, usually after dinner.

Routine… He acknowledges that this will happen every day and he is prepared for this task.

Reward… He is encouraged by his spelling test results at the end of each week. By Monday, with a new set of words, he will be happy to begin the loop again.

But it is important to note. He might not get 10/10 in his test. He sometimes gets 8 or 9. It is his job and that of his parents and teachers to focus on the 8 new words he has learnt rather than the two he got wrong. He needs to praise and reward himself for his achievements, as does his guardians. This will connect the loop much easier.

We have to be able to accept that we will not always be perfect in what we set out to achieve. 10/10 will happen often, but it is the 8’s and 9’s that can make us stronger if we channel it into our loop correctly.

A Habit Loop must be formed when you are committing to a fitness goal. Ask yourself, ‘what is my cue?’

Your cue needs to be that first step. Joining a gym, buying the trainers and joggers, finding nutritious recipes to try, dusting off the kettlebells if your cue is to exercise at home, employing a coach or asking a friend to join you. These are all really good starting points.

Once you have taken that first step you need to develope your routine and plan when and where you will carry this out. Meeting a friend for a jog every Tuesday and Friday, booking gym sessions in advance or setting aside 30 minutes each evening to cook a nutritious meal are examples of your routine beginning to take shape.

Then you need to reflect on your work. You can do this daily or at the end of each week. How has your cue and your new routine made you feel? You might feel a little lighter and fitter, more energised, confident and pleased with yourself. Focus on your wins. Any failures don’t matter. Once you start the loop again you have many opportunities to put them right.

Forming new habits is difficult. In doing so, you are trying break old habits that aren’t working for you. And these old habits might have been festering for years. I ask my clients to reward themselves after a workout or at the end of each week. This doesn’t have to be anything materialistic or indulgent. It could be just reflecting on their performance and being proud of themselves.

Think about how to start your loop today. What will your cue be?

https://www.trainerize.me/profile/nevergiveup2/?planGUI

About My Online PT Challenges

Kudos to the Personal Trainers out there that had to change their entire business plans and jump on the Online PT idea when the first lockdown hit in 2020.

I’m late to the party and, as always, I’m going to be totally honest as to why I was late…and explain why I have no regrets.

When the gyms closed due to the first lockdown, PT’s had to make a decision if they wanted to remain in the profession. They could continue via zoom video calls, use a fitness platform or freeze their clients payments until they could see see their clients in person again.

I didn’t want to do zoom and here is my brutal honesty. I saw lots of videos online of PT’s doing exercise routines and the links weren’t great, the sound was unclear and they looked uncomfortable, which was understandable, they wanted to keep earning money and had to leave their comfort zone. I didn’t do it because my house is where I was home schooling and entertaining the kids and there was somebody doing it better than anybody for free on YouTube. Joe Wicks smashed it during the first lockdown.

I had a fitness app long before the first lockdown, but I was never happy or confident with it. I’m not great with technology, but it felt clunky and bland to me. It would’ve been a poor replacement for my 1-1 clients had I put them on the app.

So I decided to freeze their payments and wait until we were able to meet in a park or on the beach. I stayed in touch through regular messages and phone calls if necessary, but I took no payments until I could meet them in person again. There were times where my wife and I worried as our savings dwindled down, but we didn’t really care about that. Our children needed us to guide them through the craziest of times and we needed to keep our heads in the game too if we were to succeed in giving them a positive experience. So I have no regrets about my decision.

Rather than rushing into becoming an online coach I dipped my toe into the world of technology and try out a few different fitness platforms on trial periods over the course of a few months. I knew that, to develop my business and be able to reach out to more people I had to go online. My previous gym that I trained at, based in the centre of Leeds, had 6,000 members. But when we moved to Scarborough the biggest gym had 2,500 members which is where I began training. It has been clear for some time that my reach had to be much greater and I love training people! I want a hundred happy people training with me at affordable prices rather than just a few who can afford it. I needed to give the masses a challenge!

I have currently got a number of challenges set on my fitness app that are being enjoyed by my clients. My newest one, which I have developed this month, is one that I know all about from my own experience. I’ve called it the 60 Day Dad Challenge.

I understand that having residence in a gym might give me an advantage in enabling me to work out and ‘keep fit’. After all, I’m not booked solid with back to back appointments. I have gaps in which to train myself. Most people don’t have that luxury. This is why I can develop any type of workout for any particular goals. This can be done at home, in an office or at the park and time needn’t be an issue. A workout can last just 20 minutes a day if it is designed and executed correctly.

Our lives don’t suddenly get any easier or slow down and when we become parents our one year old learning to walk is suddenly scoring top bins in his under 8’s football team. Where did that time go? It’s easy to forget that you have your own life too. I became daddy. I wasn’t a PT at the time and my own fitness was the last thing on my mind. I just wanted a decent nights sleep and, to make our lives easier, a takeaway for tea. I had always been active. From being a teenager I would regularly go to the gym. My physique and mental health massively improved because of it. But becoming a dad at 34 made me forget about myself and my own needs. It was fine for the most part. Hearing their first laugh and just cherishing their every move makes up for any sacrifices we make as parents.

But, for me, there was a moment of panic. My jeans started to not fit so well. I hated passing a mirror and if I did I’d breathe in. Getting up and down the stairs seemed a little tougher. My worry was that, if this is me now when my kids are toddlers, what will my fitness be like when they start school, become teenagers or become adults? It started to get me down.

I guess it scared me so much that it prompted me to not only get to the gym but become a Personal Trainer too! Obviously not all dads will take my path, but I designed a 60 day challenge so they don’t have to. He can work hard, give his love and support to his partner and children and feel great about himself without it having to take over his life. Dads can have support too. Dads can look good. Dads don’t have to worry about playing football in the park with their kids. Dads can be fitter and stronger than they were before they were dads, not just from when they were knackered being up half the night with baby.

I enjoy meeting my clients face to face, but I have come to love my online work equally. I still see their results. We can celebrate the wins and tweak the bits that need to change just the same as working with them 1-1.

Let the new challenge commence!