Never Give Up PT

Running Up That Hill

According to English folklore, a giant lived in a fortress on Penhill in Wensleydale. Legend has it the giant would eat flocks of sheep and terrorise the locals. This week I terrorised the locals by taking my kids to a holiday cottage nearby.

I knew that we would do lots of walking in very beautiful surroundings in the countryside on our family holiday to Wensleydale and Coverdale, but I didn’t expect just how breathtakingly beautiful it would be. And seeing as it is August, I didn’t expect the wind and the rain as we attempted a very large, steep hill. It was absolutely torrential as we began our walk up Penhill. And with the wind against us, every step seemed like a huge achievement. I can only imagine what it was like for the boys little legs. Yet they thrived throughout it. As for Lou and I there were a few times we wanted to turn back. But Lou has done this many times before as she grew up in Leyburn. For me, it was my first time. I couldn’t turn back. I had to tick it off the list. The boys wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Penhill is not a huge mountain that takes days to climb. It is probably not even the biggest hill in Wensleydale, but it was enough for us given the weather and a 6 and 8 year old to keep safe. At about an hour and a half from start to the top, it challenged us. And the sense of achievement that I got from getting to the top and back down again in difficult conditions was extremely satisfying. The kids were buzzing at the top. The memory of making their way into the clouds looking down on everything below is a memory just as good as an experience abroad in some exciting new place, city or beach. This was Yorkshire, right on their doorstep.

And I often use hills and mountains as a metaphor for a life challenge. Some are daunting and scary. They seem steep and treacherous. They might be smaller to some people, bigger to others. Every hill or mountain is unique to every one of us. But in our own way we climb each one that we are faced with and it might even take a few attempts.

The Penhill Giant might just be a mythical creature, but there’s an ogre that lives inside all of our heads that is wanting to terrorise us. The only sure way to avoid it is to keep running up that hill.

43

I set myself a little challenge when I hit 40. I didn’t mind turning 40. In fact I feel at ease with the ageing process. We are born, hopefully we live to a good age and then we die. Job done!

It’s the ‘living to a good age’ bit that I wanted to get right. I was pretty good at being born, so my mum said. I reckon I’ll give dying a good go too. But the middle bit I had to start getting right. It has been widely reported that the human body shows signs of decline at 40. So if this is something that happens whether I like it or not, I wanted it to be on my terms. I’ll age my way.

It is around 40 that our metabolism starts to slow down. This means it is easier to put unwanted weight on. To combat this I developed a regular resistance training programme that means I am burning around 3,500 calories per week at rest. The benefits of this is that I’m not constantly dieting. I’m strict with my nutrients and macros for 80% of the time but for the other 20% it is play time!

Also at 40, we begin to shrink. This is actually due to a form of bone disorder called kyphosis when the spine starts to curve. The old person depicted on the road sign didn’t follow a strength programme. Had they done, their back might be much straighter and they might not have a walking stick. Our bones begin to weaken and an effective strength routine can create bone density in older age, not lose it.

At 40 we develop more digestive issues. Indigestion, constipation and ulcers are more common. I used to dodge the fruit and veg in my 20’s and 30’s. The phrase ‘you can’t outrun a poor diet’ is very true, but when I was younger I didn’t believe it. I could eat whatever I liked and had no stomach illnesses and belly fat wasn’t a problem. But as I approached my late 30’s I started to believe. I had to change my attitude towards what I ate and fast, but for someone who enjoyed ten cold hotdogs out of a jar and a bottle of wine every night it wasn’t easy. Training my brain and changing my habits was just as important as what I do in the gym.

Now, at 43, I feel fitter and stronger than ever. I suffer less injuries and less anxiety. My performances in the gym have improved year on year in recent times and I’m pleased with my aesthetics. Aesthetics are important to me. They always have been but at an age where hairs sprout from strange places and hair disappears from where it should be, being in control of my appearance where I can be is particularly satisfying now.

So the challenge that I set myself when I turned 40 was to improve my physical and mental state even though the evidence is stacked against me. It means that I need to work harder for it. I have to believe in MY process, not the ‘ageing process’ I read in Medical Monthly.

My process. My fight. My life. And I’m bloody loving it!

A Relentless Pursuit

An influential coach in Leeds I used to work with recently spoke about his latest challenge at a recent event he participated in and highlighted “the relentless pursuit of better.”

Despite performing well, he was left slightly disappointed that he didn’t meet his intended target for the event.

Seb Cook demands it of himself and this enthusiasm is passed on to those he coaches.

But the term “the relentless pursuit of better” hit me. This will mean something different to every individual, this is what good coaches do, we find out what our trainees need and want. And much like Seb, every good coach will have their own version of “better” that they pursue.

I still have the drive and hunger to hit PB’s in the gym, but for a few years now my version of a better me is being a good dad, husband and friend. It’s about remaining in control and not getting so angry or upset if things don’t go my way. It’s about balancing my life and remaining grounded.

But I don’t believe that any of these would be possible to achieve without the commitment, dedication and discipline that going to the gym almost every day has given me.

For others it might be a long walk each day and meeting their step count. Or it could be sticking to a yoga class a few times a week. It could be running, climbing, swimming. Whatever each individual finds that gets them excited about doing it is a way of unlocking their potential. It begins their pursuit of better.

And, of course, you don’t even need to move to do it. In recent years I’ve found meditation to be a great source of self awareness and reflection. It makes me a better person.

Seb wasn’t looking for perfection in his event. He just keeps striving for better each time. This will be a success, yet, just one event will never define it as much.

Perhaps entrepreneur Howard Getson says it perfectly when he spoke about success when he said, “Success is not about an event or an outcome. It comes from the relentless pursuit of something better.”

So whatever you do tomorrow, make it a little bit better than today. And my number one piece of advice for making that happen is to prepare. Every day from now, prepare something for tomorrow and carry it out. Start your relentless pursuit.

I’ve Got Piles

I’ve got piles, they’re multiplying and I’m losing control.

Piles of drawings done by the kids, bills, receipts, instruction leaflets, takeaway menus and just about anything that can recreate some odd paper game of Jenga seem to appear around the house every now and again. As I went round the house doing a tidy up this morning I noticed these piles laughing at me.

“Whatcha gonna do about it?!” They mocked. I had no answer. Each item in the pile needs some sort of attention and probably when I get a moment to actually sit down to sort through them, I will find that most of it is fit for the bin or recycling. But the six week school holidays have just hit. Sorting through this needs time and organisation. It needs me to actually set aside some time and put these things in their proper place, if at all they have or deserve one.

We have a bill drawer. Drawings from the boys either get put in their personal keep sake files or culled after a while. Takeaway menus usually get thrown away, not because I don’t order from them, but I already have my favourite. Nobody does chilli sauce like Kammy. Best Kebab on Low Street can do one. Receipts? How long do I need to keep a receipt from Aldi for a pack of 3 mixed peppers and a green top milk?!! Why is it in my life?!!!

Of course, these piles are often a reflection of where my head is at. A jumble. And when I start to delve further through the clutter it poses more questions than answers and I haven’t got a moment to deal with it properly just yet. I try. But within a couple of minutes I hear a squabble start about whether Mr Bean or Paddington should go on the TV. So the pile gets left a little longer. But, sometimes, it only takes that next bit of paper to make the whole thing topple over. It needs to be dealt with before it does.

But I’ll tackle this in my usual way. I’ll sort each bit out methodically. First of all will be my kids drawings. That isn’t a chore at all. In fact it’ll make me smile. Half of them will get put on the fridge door. So I’d better shape up, cos I need a plan. And their art is put on view….

Maybe I Should Learn The Rules

At some stage in the 90’s when I was in middle School (middle schools were a thing then) the game British Bulldog was banned by many schools due to the amount of injuries in the playground that had occurred whilst playing it.

At the time we had the ‘health and safety gone mad’ people blaming everything from UK Law to Europe for banning a much loved kids game. And even now the ‘this is because of woke culture’ gets screamed out as soon as something is risk assessed. However, British Bulldog was never banned by any laws, it was just a number of head teachers that had noticed the game getting out of hand in the playground.

In fact, as much as we might think that this health and safety craze and the compensation culture started by mine and the younger generations, it is worth pointing out that back in 1878 a grocer got compensated £15 (£750 in today’s money) for claiming that he slipped playing blind man’s buff.

A one off incident? No, not at all. Amongst the many successful claims for compensation was the man who was awarded £50 in 1890 for injuring his eye while throwing rice at a wedding. Or what about the shipbuilder who won a £1000 claim because he swallowed a fishbone in 1900?

So I don’t really blame a headmaster in 1993 for banning a fairly rough game before a kid got his arm broken. They didn’t want to get sued.

But the game has survived. Not only is this a game played during children’s football coaching drills but it is also a favourite at summer sports schools. Over the summer holidays I am on the coaching team at my local multi sports summer school. And when Bulldog was introduced the kids went wild for it. But there are a few tweaks to the original rules that I grew up with. Maybe I should’ve learnt them beforehand. Asking seven year olds what the rules are when I’m their coach for the day put me on the back foot!

Nevertheless Bulldog, Bench Ball and Dodgeball are now games I know how to play without the dangers of broken bones. Dodgeball, for example, is nothing like the 2004 movie. Who knew?!

So tomorrow I’ll be much more confident in leading a game I now know the rules of. That is, of course, unless tomorrow’s schedule includes conkers. Because that got banned back in the 90’s at my school too!

The Great Under Cracker Wearing Planning Person

So, what have you got planned this week? What steps have you put in place to make sure you get stuff done?

I’m not the type that expects us to be on the go all the time and we MUST be always busy with something. I enjoy down time with a series on Netflix or watching about five episodes of Come Dine With Me in one night (I know, we’re odd). But to comfortably manage the down time, it’s good to have a plan of action for the stuff that needs to get done first.

It is Sunday evening. To be honest it’s got to that time of day where I’ll be happy to get the kids to bed and lay on the sofa in my under crackers watching people slate each other’s dinner parties. But before I do, I just need to give a little thought to my week ahead. Planning a packed lunch for tomorrow will only take ten minutes. Sorting my gym bag out, 5 minutes. I don’t book onto gym classes but if I did I’d do it right now before it gets filled up. I know the days and roughly the times I will train. My diary is sorted for my appointments and I’ve discussed what the family activity will be on Wednesday when we all have the day together.

I’m not the best organised person. I’m quite laid back with my approach to planning. But I know that I need to give myself a kick up the arse sometimes so that, come tomorrow, I’m not left rushing about because I didn’t bother to give any consideration to the days ahead.

Just having an idea of my week ahead can ease my cluttered brain. Things happen. Curve balls are thrown and as Robert Burns once said, “even the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry”. But it is much more difficult to stumble through an unplanned day than it is to fix or rearrange ones that didn’t work out.

Anyway, I’m not getting any planning done, Come Dine With Me watching or under cracker wearing right now so I’d best be off to do a bit. I’m overseeing over a hundred kids at a summer multi sports camp tomorrow so I’ll quickly make my sarnies and get some rest before the proverbial hits!!

Me trying to decide on my Take That undies or my Batman briefs for slobbing on the sofa to watch tele.

School’s Out!

The 6 week school holidays is a time that Lou and I have come to enjoy rather than endure. Eventually, now the boys are 8 and 6, we seem to have found a balance to our family time and business commitments. But it won’t be without a bit of stress from time to time. After all, Lou and I still need to work and find those special moments with the boys. I enjoy my work. The gym is my happy place whether I’m training myself or someone else. But creating family memories is extremely important to me.

It’s time to spin those plates and this is how I intend on not smashing any of them…

* I still need to train. That is a non-negotiable that I have talked about in a previous blog. There’s an aspect of attempting to look my 43 year old best. I make no apologies in saying that I enjoy the aesthetic rewards of training. But more importantly it keeps me sane. Training is MY time. Lou knows that this is the case and I’m grateful that she understands. Of course, she will book Yoga classes or find her time too.

* My very first blog was called ‘Shouty Dad Has Gone’. Perhaps other parents know what I mean when I say that, sometimes, our little darlings can only push us so far. We lose it. We see red. Well, I still do at times. I love my boys, but wow, they can have me rocking in a corner some days. Anyway, I no longer feel the need to act like Arnold Schwarzenegger in Kindergarten Kop. I remain calm. Count to 10. Meditate. Cry. Whatever, I remain calm.

* I make sure that I have a support network. Ok, Lou and I haven’t got hundreds of friends inviting us for evenings out or for tea and cake afternoons all too often. But we have each other and we have a few friends who are mostly made up of parents who need to offload occasionally too. A rant to someone other than your immediate family is good for the soul!

* We have made plans. When we do have days off together we don’t want it to get to midday before we actually decide on what we’re going to do. So as well as a week away in a holiday cottage we have planned a few day trips to keep the boys away from the X-box.

* I’ll stay in control of my diet. Just because the kids want turkey dinosaurs and ice cream doesn’t mean I have to. A dramatic change to my eating habits will change my mood. I’ll feel lethargic and less motivated. My above points will also change for the worse if I let this happen. If I allow my nutrition to suffer, other aspects of my life will too.

These are just a few pointers to myself that I aim to stick with to ensure a successful and fun school summer holiday. Maybe you might find some things that are useful to you or you might want to think of your own ideas.

Thanks for reading. Speak soon!

Life, Heat and Catching Up!

Over the past few weeks I have set myself targets as to where I see myself in 12 months time. There’s no stress that I’ve put myself under with it apart from a further education course that I have started which has a deadline. Other than that, I have focused on what makes me happy and what my future self would thank me for.

I guess that’s partly why I have been less active in scribbling down my thoughts here. Any chance I have I have been studying, training or finding ways to develop myself, my business, my family life and my happiness.

But this makes me happy. Right now, writing this. So I thought it was time for a catch up.

I wouldn’t be able to commit to any of my targets if it wasn’t for certain people, or groups of people, in my life. I have spoken before about how my wife had encouraged me to become a Personal Trainer and her empowering spirit for me has now enabled me to become a certified Meditation teacher but also enrol on a Cognitive Behavioural Therapy course. The human brain interests me. I truly believe that if we can control the thoughts in our head better then we can live much happier lives with ourselves. I meet so many people who are unhappy with their physical selves, yet with a different approach to their way of thinking they would realise that they don’t have to be. Wanting change is fine, but only for the right reasons.

My clients inspire me. My online PT app bleeps at me more than a busy checkout isle at Sainsbury’s. I love getting alerts for a new achievement or a message on how their new training program is going. It makes me get off of my arse and get stuff done too!

And I have told my kids before that they are my heroes. Yes, kids should be told that they have the ability to inspire, empower and display heroic acts by their grown ups. My kids dealt with periods of lockdown better than me. My youngest is the brightest and most thoughtful boy. And my latest beaming with pride moment is when my 8 year old played a football tournament in stifling heat and helped his team win the final. 7 games in total and he didn’t stop running. His commitment in the final, even as his team went a goal down, saw him equalise and push his team to victory.

I have wanted to give the gym a miss during the recent heatwave but then I recall my son’s commitment to HIS cause in a difficult, energy zapping environment and got my own training done. It isn’t easy. Winning his medal didn’t come easily to him. If it did, would he have been almost in tears with sheer jubilation at the final whistle? I think not. Similarly, my goals don’t come easily either. But not even doing it eventually makes things even harder. My son tried his best. This time he won, but that won’t always happen.

Surround yourself with triers, empowerers and positive people and if you can give it back to them too.

I must get back to the books now. I have a course to complete. But I enjoyed the catch up. Speak soon.

Sissy Squats

There are three things that need explaining when I bring up the conversation of sissy squats. Its name, what they are and why we could benefit from performing them.

As it goes, these points are easily resolved. So here goes…

Why are they called Sissy Squats?!

It actually comes from the name King Sisyphus in Greek Mythology. As a part of his punishment from the Greek Gods he was ordered to push a huge rock up a mountain only for them to push it back down again. He would then have to begin at the bottom again. This forced Sisyphus into a never ending task, but he grew massive quads!

So, I need to push a rock?!

No! The significance here is his quads. And seeing as the sissy squats isolate the quads so efficiently it seemed like a good name to call them. In fact, sissy squats are seen by many trainees as a better alternative to machine leg extensions which can cause knee pain due to the fixed linea movement. Sissy squats are tough, but they can add a little wiggle room if a trainee has had a previous knee injury.

Another benefit is that they work the hip flexors and core strength too. So it’s an exercise not to be overlooked.

How do you perform a sissy squat?

If you have access to a sissy squat machine then you can adjust it as required ensuring that your feet are firmly locked in position. Bend your knees into a squat position and begin to lean slightly backwards. This applies the pressure to the quads but also begins to work the hip flexors and core. Hold for a second or two and then push yourself back to the starting position.

However, there are alternatives if, like my gym, there’s no specific machine. Some leg extension machines can be adapted, but I prefer the Smith machine with the bar at the lowest setting. I place a pad on the bar to protect my calves and I’m able to perform sissy squats.

The small print…

Like all types of squats, if you have a history of knee problems, you need to be careful that you are trained and confident in performing them correctly. As much as squats can be useful in injury rehabilitation, they can also do more damage with poor form.

Attempting any new techniques are often best under the guidance of a professional.

Change The Formula

We’ve all heard of the expression ‘Stuck in a rut’. Typically I see this with workouts that gym goers perform day after day.

‘Shay, I’m just not seeing any more progress’. This is regularly said to me. In some cases, I have people tell me that not only do they stop seeing progress, but they see regression.

This isn’t new or something that is confined to our fitness. We get stuck in a rut in life too. Our jobs can be like Groundhog Day. Our social life gets tedious. Yes, listening to John in the Nag’s Head complain about VAR for the third time this week gets boring. And our relationships can lose their spark.

Change is not a bad thing. It doesn’t need a whole reinvention of yourself. But it does need a bit of thought on how you can adapt to today’s you.

Last year’s you might have got excited about a 5k run, but today’s you doesn’t.

Your job might have challenged you when you started it 5 years ago, but today’s you isn’t.

Going to the pub at the end of your shift was a way of unwinding ten years ago, but today’s you doesn’t.

And your partner used to love watching a Steven Segal boxset on an evening with you when you first got together, but be careful, they might have changed.

Change the formula.

You’re not stuck. You’re just committed to certain patterns of behaviour because they helped you in the past. Now, these behaviours have become more harmful than helpful. The reason why you can’t move forward is because you keep applying an old formula to a new level in your life. Change the formula for a different result. Love and respect the person that got you here, but have the same love and respect for the future you too.

Thank you for reading my article. Speak soon!