Category Archives: motivation

Cyborg Boxy

Before the summer holidays if somebody would have told me that my 8 and 6 year olds would have been using sharp fabric cutting scissors and needles to make plushie toys I would have laughed at them.

Firstly, I would’ve felt uneasy at allowing them to use such sharp scissors. Secondly, the lads imagining and creating anything other than a head shot on Fortnite or a rainbow flick with a football seemed quite ridiculous. But of course, that’s my influence. My wife has now shown them how to sew and they’re obsessed. And what a fantastic obsession to have!

I have written about my eldest developing nervous tics over the past couple of years which seem certain to be due to the pandemic and the lockdowns. Jonas is a sensitive lad who comes across as fairly confident with his big curly hair and bold football skills. And his younger brother Finlay, who likes to play the Joker, is equally as sensitive deep down. But people see the confident kid who likes to tell jokes or give a fist pump to the camera as they score a goal. Take away the clown mask and it can be a different story. I know. I was that kid too.

Kids have stuff going on in their heads that we can’t comprehend. They’ve been growing up locked in their homes, not been able to see friends at school or to have any other human contact outside of their immediate family and listening to daily death tolls in the news as their parents left the house in face masks. How many kids will have been thinking “Will my mum and dad be next. Are we going to die?”

Jonas and Finlay have found comfort in creative therapy. Having a focus is important. I’m very happy that they’ve found this skill. I never did. Creative therapy is not really my ‘thing’. But I do have other ways to find my therapy. As a PT it’ll be no surprise to you that training is of great comfort to me. That has been my thing throughout my adulthood. And more recently I’ve found that meditation and using Tibetan singing bowls is extremely soothing. I never really had myself down as a singing bowl type of person. But then, what is a singing bowl type of person? Do we need to pigeon hole ourselves and stay in our box to suit anybody else’s views and opinions?

The truth is that nobody knows what their therapy is until they give it a go. It might be drawing or colouring in, going for walks or joining a fitness class. It might be sewing and creating or it could be meditating. There could be something that you have never ever tried before that gives you a real grounding to your life.

A good PT will help change your body. A great PT will change your life. If I want to be great at what I do then I can’t just bark orders on how many reps a trainee should do each week. Even a keen trainee would only spend one hour a day doing formal exercise. But what of the other 23 hours of the day? What about nutrition, sleep and mental health? That is where the true results happen.

And if my kids can find their therapy I’m quite sure that everyone else can make their very own Cyborg Boxy too. We’ve just got to have a go and find it.

Running Up That Hill

According to English folklore, a giant lived in a fortress on Penhill in Wensleydale. Legend has it the giant would eat flocks of sheep and terrorise the locals. This week I terrorised the locals by taking my kids to a holiday cottage nearby.

I knew that we would do lots of walking in very beautiful surroundings in the countryside on our family holiday to Wensleydale and Coverdale, but I didn’t expect just how breathtakingly beautiful it would be. And seeing as it is August, I didn’t expect the wind and the rain as we attempted a very large, steep hill. It was absolutely torrential as we began our walk up Penhill. And with the wind against us, every step seemed like a huge achievement. I can only imagine what it was like for the boys little legs. Yet they thrived throughout it. As for Lou and I there were a few times we wanted to turn back. But Lou has done this many times before as she grew up in Leyburn. For me, it was my first time. I couldn’t turn back. I had to tick it off the list. The boys wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Penhill is not a huge mountain that takes days to climb. It is probably not even the biggest hill in Wensleydale, but it was enough for us given the weather and a 6 and 8 year old to keep safe. At about an hour and a half from start to the top, it challenged us. And the sense of achievement that I got from getting to the top and back down again in difficult conditions was extremely satisfying. The kids were buzzing at the top. The memory of making their way into the clouds looking down on everything below is a memory just as good as an experience abroad in some exciting new place, city or beach. This was Yorkshire, right on their doorstep.

And I often use hills and mountains as a metaphor for a life challenge. Some are daunting and scary. They seem steep and treacherous. They might be smaller to some people, bigger to others. Every hill or mountain is unique to every one of us. But in our own way we climb each one that we are faced with and it might even take a few attempts.

The Penhill Giant might just be a mythical creature, but there’s an ogre that lives inside all of our heads that is wanting to terrorise us. The only sure way to avoid it is to keep running up that hill.

43

I set myself a little challenge when I hit 40. I didn’t mind turning 40. In fact I feel at ease with the ageing process. We are born, hopefully we live to a good age and then we die. Job done!

It’s the ‘living to a good age’ bit that I wanted to get right. I was pretty good at being born, so my mum said. I reckon I’ll give dying a good go too. But the middle bit I had to start getting right. It has been widely reported that the human body shows signs of decline at 40. So if this is something that happens whether I like it or not, I wanted it to be on my terms. I’ll age my way.

It is around 40 that our metabolism starts to slow down. This means it is easier to put unwanted weight on. To combat this I developed a regular resistance training programme that means I am burning around 3,500 calories per week at rest. The benefits of this is that I’m not constantly dieting. I’m strict with my nutrients and macros for 80% of the time but for the other 20% it is play time!

Also at 40, we begin to shrink. This is actually due to a form of bone disorder called kyphosis when the spine starts to curve. The old person depicted on the road sign didn’t follow a strength programme. Had they done, their back might be much straighter and they might not have a walking stick. Our bones begin to weaken and an effective strength routine can create bone density in older age, not lose it.

At 40 we develop more digestive issues. Indigestion, constipation and ulcers are more common. I used to dodge the fruit and veg in my 20’s and 30’s. The phrase ‘you can’t outrun a poor diet’ is very true, but when I was younger I didn’t believe it. I could eat whatever I liked and had no stomach illnesses and belly fat wasn’t a problem. But as I approached my late 30’s I started to believe. I had to change my attitude towards what I ate and fast, but for someone who enjoyed ten cold hotdogs out of a jar and a bottle of wine every night it wasn’t easy. Training my brain and changing my habits was just as important as what I do in the gym.

Now, at 43, I feel fitter and stronger than ever. I suffer less injuries and less anxiety. My performances in the gym have improved year on year in recent times and I’m pleased with my aesthetics. Aesthetics are important to me. They always have been but at an age where hairs sprout from strange places and hair disappears from where it should be, being in control of my appearance where I can be is particularly satisfying now.

So the challenge that I set myself when I turned 40 was to improve my physical and mental state even though the evidence is stacked against me. It means that I need to work harder for it. I have to believe in MY process, not the ‘ageing process’ I read in Medical Monthly.

My process. My fight. My life. And I’m bloody loving it!

A Relentless Pursuit

An influential coach in Leeds I used to work with recently spoke about his latest challenge at a recent event he participated in and highlighted “the relentless pursuit of better.”

Despite performing well, he was left slightly disappointed that he didn’t meet his intended target for the event.

Seb Cook demands it of himself and this enthusiasm is passed on to those he coaches.

But the term “the relentless pursuit of better” hit me. This will mean something different to every individual, this is what good coaches do, we find out what our trainees need and want. And much like Seb, every good coach will have their own version of “better” that they pursue.

I still have the drive and hunger to hit PB’s in the gym, but for a few years now my version of a better me is being a good dad, husband and friend. It’s about remaining in control and not getting so angry or upset if things don’t go my way. It’s about balancing my life and remaining grounded.

But I don’t believe that any of these would be possible to achieve without the commitment, dedication and discipline that going to the gym almost every day has given me.

For others it might be a long walk each day and meeting their step count. Or it could be sticking to a yoga class a few times a week. It could be running, climbing, swimming. Whatever each individual finds that gets them excited about doing it is a way of unlocking their potential. It begins their pursuit of better.

And, of course, you don’t even need to move to do it. In recent years I’ve found meditation to be a great source of self awareness and reflection. It makes me a better person.

Seb wasn’t looking for perfection in his event. He just keeps striving for better each time. This will be a success, yet, just one event will never define it as much.

Perhaps entrepreneur Howard Getson says it perfectly when he spoke about success when he said, “Success is not about an event or an outcome. It comes from the relentless pursuit of something better.”

So whatever you do tomorrow, make it a little bit better than today. And my number one piece of advice for making that happen is to prepare. Every day from now, prepare something for tomorrow and carry it out. Start your relentless pursuit.