motivation – Never Give Up PT

A Year Of Answers

So, what was 2024 for you? Was it a year of questions or a year of answers?

For me, 2024 was most certainly a year of questions. Big questions. How could I handle living in a new country? How could I deal with a house buy, a building project, a new business? Could I settle my kids in a new foreign school? Can my wife and I survive the stresses? Can I manage to put my ‘happy face’ on for the cameras.

But I’m hoping, goodness, I’m hoping (!) that 2025 gives me answers.

I’ve been thinking about the quote by Zora Neale Hurston over the past few days, in which she said,”There are years that ask questions and years that answer.”

My thoughts on recent years took me as far as 2020. This was a year, for so many of us I would imagine, that asked tough questions. But I have noticed a trend because 2021 was one that cleared my head and started to deliver answers once again, if only in part anyway. The gyms reopened and my business could recommence. My wife had also started her own massage therapy business which quickly became very popular in the centre of Scarborough.

2022 flipped again to become a year of questions. Whilst my wife remained steady in her business, mine was stagnating. A few clients remained from pre-covid but the gym I was at never got their numbers back unfortunately. It had also decided to give the members recorded fitness classes which obviously didn’t require a live instructor. This us something I’m seeing more and more in larger gyms in the UK and just can’t help but think that members are just a number to them. There’s no personal touch. I know many of my class participants enjoyed the social aspect of classes. Having a chat with the instructor before or after and generally feeling a belonging. That is taken away with pre-recorded classes on a screen.

Prior to covid, our thoughts were very much fixed on moving out of the uk. Yes, there was a longing to be living back in the European Union but it had always been a dream for us as individuals before we met each other and then as a family. Covid had set us back financially so plans were put on hold, but 2023 we came up with the answers, swiftly putting our house up for sale and employing solicitors to assist in the visa applications and starting a business in the EU.

Oh yes, 2023 we had answers. We were so focused on this that we felt untouchable. We were asked many times,”What if your house doesn’t sell.” Or “What if your visa is rejected?”

Our answer was, “It won’t.” That’s how committed and confident we were in the process and our strength and abilities to carry this off. The reality was that our plans could’ve fallen off the edge of a cliff at any point that year, but we had answers that we told ourselves over and over that soothed our minds. “We can do it. We WILL do it.” Special mentions are required around now to thank those who gave me and my family somewhere to live in England while we were in limbo. And a great friend gave me some work working with kids in summer sports camp. I’ll be forever grateful.

But once we got to Portugal, 2024 became a year of questions once again. Mostly set by us. Just like our positive mindset helped us get through the previous year, the gremlins crept into our mindset a little during our Portuguese house purchase and business set up. We had the building work to the local accommodation house. A forest to clear. Children to settle into a new school and new lifestyle. Budget stress. And with a camera crew filming it all and a production team asking even more questions, last year was tough with some incredibly difficult questions to face.

But on the first night of the year, during a bout of man flu that had me awake most of it, I had time to think. Thinking is a luxury over Christmas with family visiting and two excited kids. It occurred to me that my year of questions were last year. This year, it is my year of answers. I don’t think that Zora Neale Hurston meant that it would be exclusively one year of questions and then one year of answers, but there has certainly been this pattern for me. At least I hope so.

There will be what looks like more filming to come. The production team are already in talks with us about their spin off ‘Revisited’ programme, where they film the progress we have made. But I feel a lot more head strong to deal with that now. I know the expectations of me. And likewise in other aspects of my life. I know what we have to do to our business to succeed. I am producing answers again. Answers that for many months I struggled to find, either due to the ‘out of my depth’ feeling or simply not knowing the expectations of, well, anything!

This time last year when asked what would be achieved by the end of the year I had to say ‘I haven’t a clue!’ And yet, if I were asked it right now I’d be able to give a more detailed account of how life might look like fir me and my family.

I’d have answers. Because it’s the year for it.

Here’s to 2025. And remember, even if you are faced with lots of questions this year, you will find the answers.

Don’t Climb Past The Low Hanging Fruit

Being a personal trainer and wellbeing coach I see lots of interesting motivational quotes on my feed looking for me to engage in clicks etc. I must admit, I enjoy reading an uplifting quote now and again and they can often make me think. But it’s important to recognise that, like every bit of advice or literature, we don’t always have to agree with it. We can disagree with it or at the very least question it.

Now, it’s difficult to disagree with the ‘seize the day’ sentiment that many of them focus on. And the one I read this morning about ‘the higher the fruit the sweeter it tastes’ is a reference to reaching for the sky and making each day count. Sure, what’s wrong with that?! Nothing. It’s a pretty standard target for anyone wanting to get shit done for the day.

But I’m going to add my version of it, too. You see, sometimes you just don’t feel like climbing to the top of that bloody tree for the sweetest fruit. Making your way to the tree and picking the low hanging fruit can be all that you can manage that day. And sometimes that might be just enough. You can then at least say that you’ve done it. No climbing for the sweetest stuff, but goodness, as you opened your eyes this morning you didn’t even know if you could leave the house. Praise yourself for the smaller stuff, too, not just the days you feel like climbing mountains and ripping up trees.

I used to enjoy a gameshow called The Cube. A contestant would be locked inside a large cube and given tasks to do in order to win money. Once the contestant had been given their instructions on how to complete the task for each round, they had an option to ‘simplify’ the task for one round only. So once they asked The Cube to simplify that particular task, The Cube would make the task that little bit easier. It could have been, for example, a bigger hoop to throw a ball into.

So, for all of you reading this right now, how many of us have wanted to shout out ‘simplify’ into the universe and hope that just a little part of the day could be a tad easier?

Life can be overwhelming.

So…’The higher the fruit, the sweeter it tastes’ can be changed to ‘We can get distracted when we climb to the top of the tree before we get the stuff that’s easiest.’

Remarkably, despite the things going on around you in the world, there are lots of things that can be made easier for yourself that you have total control over. And if you are feeling like you are burdened by having to climb high each day I would suggest that you take a few quiet moments to think about what small steps you can take to make each day a little easier.

Some time ago I had a trainee that was determined to get his personal best at a bench press. This had been on his mind for a few days leading up to his session with me. He was pushing 120k for 6 reps. Impressive. But he wanted 125k on this particular day. He came into the gym fired up, but also jittery and nervous. I knew that there was a good chance that he wouldn’t achieve his PB that day. He was overthinking it. His breathing was short and not controlled. His form would let him down. I’ve been there before. I went for sheer aggression over any sort of form or finesse. But, with my spotting, I had to let him try.

On this particular day, as I suspected, the sweetest of all fruits were too high. He failed in his attempt. For the remainder of the session, I told him to look at the fruit that was right in front of him.

We picked up the lighter dumbbells, we worked with machine assisted weights, I reminded him of his breathing patterns on his eccentric and concentric phases and we focused on how to engage the core area of the body.

This seemed easier to him. I think, at the time, he might have felt like he hadn’t achieved what he wanted to from the session. But I told him to repeat this session on each training day for the rest of the week until we met up again.

The week after, when he walked into the gym, I knew that he would achieve his PB. He had followed my advice and he was full of confidence. And not only did he reach a 125k for 6 reps, he added two more reps to make it a PB of 125k for 8.

It’s the simple stuff he had to get right. His core focus, his breathing, his foot positioning. He had the strength all along, that was never an issue, but he had forgotten all about the low hanging fruit because that sweet fruit way up high seemed so tempting!

I haven’t got a catchy quote to add to this message, but I would say this…

If you are finding something a bit overwhelming today, take a step back, do the easy stuff first, stay calm, breath, take one thing at a time and simplify it.

Can you believe I actually got my wife to take a picture of me with some low hanging fruit just for this blog?!

What Is Your Motivation Today?

If there is one guarantee in life it is that the mainstream gyms will be buzzing with new members who have promised themselves a healthier start to the year. The new year’s resolutioners. And their journey, hopefully, is a great one. I know lots of people who started a successful journey based on a new year’s resolution. But there are many who don’t have the same success. They give up. This message is for anybody who has just begun their journey and how they can stay on track.

It is common knowledge between Personal Trainers that the gym looks like this every new year…

The January Rush

Especially in the mainstream gyms, it can be difficult to get onto any of the equipment due to the influx of new members mixed with the regulars. The PT can spot the new member immediately. They flit from one machine to the other with little direction. Form, especially in the free weight section, can be erratic. But for the most part the new member will stick to machines.

The PT will begin to plant the seed that you might need their help. They might offer an induction or consultation straight away if they are pushy, but also a good PT will simply just be present to answer questions.

The February Frustrations

Despite January being great for the gym, it is not necessarily the best month for a PT. A new member won’t generally just sign up with a PT they’ve just met. Also, most people think that they can do it by themselves. After all, how difficult can working a treadmill be? But new members can have unrealistic targets and in no way is a treadmill (or any machine) the best place to start. Frustrations arise. They’re not seeing the results they expected.

Their gym visits become less regular unless, and this is where the patient PT reaps the rewards, the member asks for help, tips, advice and a price list.

The March Sleepers

A sleeping membership is a reference to a gym member who pays for a membership but does not attend its services. By march and the dust has settled, according to statists, about 18% of people paying for a gym membership become sleepers. They have lost motivation, got bored, found other interests or just found life getting in the way.

What To Do Before You Get To March!

* Seriously consider a good PT. They’ll stick out a mile. Watch their interactions with their current clients. Approach them for advice. They should give free advice without being too pushy. If they’re too pushy then they’re desperate for custom. If they say that they’re really busy but will try to find a slot for you then they’re lying. There’s always room for a new client. Some trainers also work online with clients without the face to face sessions. This works out cheaper but can be a good option because of my next piece of advice…

* The biggest reason for people quitting the gym is their motivation (or lack of it). A good PT should be able to give you the determination and motivation that you need. Almost every day they should be asking ‘how do you feel today?’ and tracking your workout progress, offering challenges and fun targets. You don’t need to see them in person for them to do that.

* But if employing a PT is still something that you don’t want to do then consider this quote from author Zig Ziglar…”People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing, that’s why we recommend it daily.”

You see, your motivation needs working on daily. Just because you ate the full box of Quality Streets on Christmas day and promised yourself a gym membership doesn’t mean you’ll give a shit come March. After all, there are 18% of gym members who don’t.

Every Sunday I would ask my clients to plan their meals and their gym visits for the week. Have they booked the classes they wish to attend? Do they have packed lunch ideas for work so that they don’t feel the need to stop off at Gregg’s or Maccy D’s?

Any of my clients who were having a tough time of it (everybody does, even professional athletes) I would ask them for their reasons why they came to me. In some way, it was a call for help. But why?

I’ve had just about every reason given to me over the ten years that I worked in mainstream gyms and online. From eating disorders, beating depression or self harm, a charity run and to making the next Olympics. Plus, there were many of my clients who simply wanted to feel better about themselves and feel that they were doing something proactive.

I would ask them to give themselves 5 minutes each morning as they open their eyes to think about these reasons. What would achieving their target for that day mean to them? How does it make them feel? What about not doing it? How does that affect their mood by the end of the day?

This ‘self assessment’ should be done daily. And with it we will find the reason why we do it. I love a workout, but I need my daily motivation too! I need to know my ‘why?’. I have two small children. I want to be healthy enough to see them grow up. I want to be active enough to play football with them and (in later life) my grandkids. My wife and I are starting up a new business in a different country. I need to be mentally strong for the challenges ahead and exercise keeps my focus. I want to look and feel good about myself and when I’m really old I want to be able to get out of a chair unaided. My motivation isn’t about staying alive so much as having a quality of life as I get older.

We will all have our reasons, but it’s remembering them and acting on it daily that will take you past March in the gym.

Good luck friends.

Eat The Frog First To Overcome Daily Lethargy

Eating the frog first is a phrase I heard some years ago to describe how training, doing an exercise class or a long walk/jog first thing in the morning can enable you to develop a healthy daily routine.

This saying, I believe, was made by Mark Twain to prioritize difficult tasks. He went on to say that if there are two frogs, eat the biggest one first.

It certainly helped me. I preferred a morning workout. It helped me complete other daily tasks throughout the day as I felt more motivated, more confident in my skin and it made me make better meal choices for that day.

And I am finding that this rule can assist in creating a productive routine for my kids at the moment. As those familiar with my blogs will know, my wife and I are currently buying a home in Portugal. Our boys haven’t yet got a school so we are homeschooling them. As each minute of the day passes we find that we are losing their interest to open up a text book as the lure of the pool, football in the garden and iPads take over.

And they are important too, of course, but as parents it is also our duty to keep up with their learning, especially as learning Portuguese is at the core of it.

But it isn’t just them who lets the day slip away without any schooling. If my wife and I don’t hit the ground running in the morning it is very easy to fall into the trap of allowing ourselves to consider this moment to be a vacation. There are many things that keep reminding us that it is not, however, such as ongoing contract negotiations between us and the house vendors and the unfinished business we are tying up in the UK. But these are yet more reasons to postpone the schoolwork.

Simply put, if we are to proceed with a healthy, stress free day we need to get all of the crappy stuff done early. We need to eat the frog first so that we can enjoy the yummy tasty things on the plate without worry.

Win Or Learn

If you’re unsure about how your plans are working out today, whether it be a fitness goal, a career move or a relationship, consider this quote from Nelson Mandela.

“I never lose. I either win or learn.”

If something hasn’t gone to plan today, then see this experience as an opportunity to learn. Don’t retreat or accept your attempts as failure, simply learn and move on.

Keep holding on to your dreams.

That Bit Of Mayo On The Spoon Before It Goes Into The Dishwasher

If someone were to give me a choice in having abs or not, then I would gratefully receive them.

If they then explained what I had to do to maintain and keep the abs I would decline the offer.

One of the most difficult things for a personal trainer to coach is a client wanting abs, AKA a six pack.

So here’s the thing. We all have them, it’s just some are more covered than others. And it is fat that covers them.

It is said that a man needs to be below 12% body fat to actually see a six pack and around 18% for a female. And, although this is achievable for people in general, maintaining this is very difficult indeed.

I regularly go from 12% to 18% depending on the time of year and at my lowest body fat there is a decent amount of definition in the six pack area. However, due to my diet it is impossible for me to edge past down to the 10% mark, where the definition would be very impressive.

And yet my diet is not poor. My calories per day average around 2800 (taken from an annual calculation) and most of my meals are nutritional. But it is nowhere near the strict regime that would be necessary for more definition on my abs or anywhere else!

It was a long time ago that I ditched the idea of going to the gym to get a six pack and it’s around the same time I decided that I liked going for a pint with colleagues after work. Now, I enjoy sneaking in an extra fish finger in the air fryer while I’m making the kids tea.

Abs are made in the kitchen. Indeed, muscle definition anywhere on the body is made in the kitchen. However, that doesn’t mean that having a physically fit physique means a life of chicken, broccoli and rice, washed down with a protein shake every meal time.

An 80/20 rule might not be the clean diet that is necessary for abs of steel, but it is sensible for the majority of people. 80% of your diet is nutritional and balanced while 20% is the other stuff that might not help towards a six pack but it tastes bloody nice!

A popular gym quote goes something like this…”People need to understand the difference between wants and needs. Like I want abs, but I need tacos.”

I could replace tacos with the leftover fish finger, that bit of mayo on the spoon before it goes in the dishwasher, brie cheese with cream crackers, my wife’s homemade ice cream, crumpets with too much butter and pringles and this quote would apply to me. But I make sure that it remains within that 20% of food that I have accounted for. Therefore, even though my abs aren’t defined, I keep a physique that I am happy with. After all, a six pack isn’t the definition of fit and healthy.

So, maybe considering your eating habits a little more and trying to achieve the 80/20 could be a good way for you to progress in your fitness goals. This way, you get to enjoy your workouts and you don’t have to ban your favourite foods.

A Message To My 18 Year Old Self

Hey Shay. It’s you. Just a little bit older and wiser. Oh, and balder. Yeah dude, sorry. You’re going bald even now so the sooner you own that look the better. Luckily The Mitchell brothers from Eastenders are making baldness a bit cooler, so just get it shaved now and stop trying to perfect the comb over.

Let me just go through all the stuff that you’ve already experienced and then I can try to explain the sort of stuff that you will live through. I’m not here to change your past or your future. I’m just giving you a heads up.

By now you will have done pretty poorly at your GCSE’s, which was obvious seeing as you didn’t really put in the effort. But you know that you’re a bright lad, just not at Shakespeare or algebra. And right now you’re wondering what your future holds.

Let me reassure you that you’re about to meet your calling. You’re a kind and thoughtful person. No exams will determine your life or career. Instead, it is your character that will enable you to work with and support other people within the social care sector. You’ll learn a lot in your time doing this job. And the biggest education of all will be about how everyone you meet will be unique. Everyone is equal and has so much to offer and you can make a difference in enabling those who you work with to show it.

Technology will change. Wow! Have you got your Nokia brick yet?! Well, when you do and you’re amazed at how you can send instant texts to people then brace yourself for what’s about to happen. In the new millennium that brick will turn into a little computer with the whole world inside of it. And then you’ll have to deal with social media. Most people seem to like it but I just end up debating about politics with a stranger. A bit like you do now but not face to face. It’s all done on your phone.

I know that, by now, you’ve dabbled with a spliff and done silly stuff like what other teenagers do. Arguing with mum and dad is upsetting right? But they love you and when you become a parent you’ll see how tough being a parent is.

Oh! Yes you will become a parent! I know you’ve always said that you don’t want kids but when you find that person who you want to spend the rest of your life with and makes you very happy, then you’ll change your mind. And your kids are two healthy boys who love you more than anything in the entire world. And even as I write it, I beam with pride. So you have that to look forward to. But just remember, we gave our mum and dad grief sometimes so we’ll have to be prepared for our kids being terrors on occasions too.

Now at 18 some very difficult news is about to enter your life. I’m sorry, bud, but your dad will knock on your door and tell you that your mum has cancer. Hey, before you get too upset right now, let me tell you that this news shapes your character. You will deal with it personally and as a family. You will still create memories. But it will hit you hard. As a young man trying to make his mark in life, you will make mistakes and emotion will get in the way of good decision making. But you will also grow stronger from your challenges that are to come. And I won’t sugar coat it, as much as you will enjoy your life, there are some seriously tough times too.

Our two boys will still be very young when our mum dies. But she got to see them and they still talk about her now. So she’ll never be forgotten. And our dad has had to create a new life. He became our hero when he looked after our mum. But he had to move forward, which he is doing.

I like how you put your mortality into perspective, even now as an 18 year old. We have always wanted to live for the moment and get out of life what we can. And you don’t change. At 44, you’ll be planning a new life in Portugal with your family. You don’t do ‘what if’ at 18 and you won’t at 44.

You will live through world events such as war, an actual pandemic, the UK leaving the EU and in a few years time what is known as 9/11. None of these will directly hurt us or our loved ones but it will have a profound effect on us. Lots of decisions you make will be because of these things. We said that we didn’t want kids because of stuff like these events, but we did have kids so you’ll get to my age forever wondering how to protect them.

I know that you are currently looking at ways in which you can change the world. But you will come to realise that as long as you can enrich the lives of others close to you then you are doing your best. Remember the moments where you support someone going to their new job or to the swimming baths. Treasure those moments where you help them cook a meal in their own home and realise how important you are to the elderly man who wants to tell you about his childhood every time he sees you. That’s making a real difference.

You will become (and still are) a personal trainer. This all came about because of the hours each day that you spend in the gym. You might as well become a PT! But you’ll be older and wiser when you do. Right now, a workout is pumping up those nightclub muscles so that you can look good in a T. But when you’re closing in on 40 you begin to understand that training is about being able to put your own socks on in the morning and having the energy to run in the park with your kids. This knowledge is useful to you in your career as a PT.

Depression never goes away. I am sorry that you experienced dark thoughts as a teenager. But you will deal with each day as it comes, trying to overcome it in your 20’s. Eventually you just live with it and keep it in its place. The gym will help you, but the big turning point for you will be when you meet your future wife. You’ve got 10 years to go yet. Together you begin to start seeing life differently. You start to live life rather than endure it.

However, you will meet some amazing and influential people along the way but it’s only on reflection will you be able to appreciate it. Everything you and those around you do shape you and your environment. It moulds you. So you’ll soon realise who the people are that you need to hang around with and who to stay clear of.

I need to go now. I need to allow you to continue your journey that leads you to writing this message.

But just one last thing! Don’t turn off the 2005 Champions League final! I won’t tell you what happens but just keep watching it until the match finishes.

Keep smiling Shay. It’ll all turn out ok in the end.

Even The Shepherd Protects His Sheep

I often wonder how I am able to live within the law and the norms of society and be able to be myself, to express myself and pursue what is valuable to me. The journey I am on is investigating this lifestyle which has led us to central Portugal.

Recently I watched a program on UK TV documenting the lives of a couple called Miriam and Peter who, in previous careers, were city workers. They had travelled the world and eventually settled in the remote mountains of Rhodope in Bulgaria where they lived off grid. They invited people to learn survival techniques with them which paid, but the majority of their time was spent hunting for their food and surviving the vast forests.

As much as I admire them, their nomadic lifestyle wouldn’t be right for me and my family. They didn’t have two children for a start and we still very much want us and them to be integrated into society and live in a community that lends itself to helping each other out and working together to provide a healthy, sustainable existence. So we haven’t just closed our eyes and put a pin in the map. Central Portugal was chosen very carefully.

However, getting away from the rat race, from the ‘big smoke’ and the stress that comes with it is appealing. I want a good life. According to planetofsuccess.com the meaning of The Good Life is “living a life that sets you free. A life that satisfies and fulfills you. That adds happiness, joy and a sense of purpose. But it also means to live a life that is worthwhile, that makes a contribution, instead of being solely self centered.”

In a nutshell, that is what I want. And I would urge everyone who wants their definition of The Good Life to go and grab it now. It won’t come easy. Nothing so powerful ever does, but you can make plans.

One reason why the majority of us never do try to find their own personal good life is down to living in fear. We are told to fear God, political regimes, pandemics and war. Sure, they might all exist (depending on your own personal beliefs), but it is drip fed to us daily from media outlets with their own agendas often led by political bias.

In the UK, we are also told to fear small dinghies with people with brown skin on them, Eastern Europeans, those who live in poverty, European laws and unions, green activists and Jeremy Corbyn. Anybody but those in charge of the country and our lives, it seems.

A man on a dinghy crossing the English channel will never impact my life the way the man standing outside 10 Downing Street will. And yet the media are outraged by this man on the dinghy. It injects fear into us. Is he a rapist? Will he go for my job? Will he live off of the state? Is he a terrorist?

The Italian diplomat Niccolo Machiavelli wrote,”Since love and fear can hardly exist together, if we must choose between them, it is far safer to be feared than loved.”

This might mean different things to the reader, but my interpretation of this is that the people need to be kept in line. Allow them to fear certain outcomes and allow them to be angry at each other. Whilst the people of the UK still argue the toss over Brexit, those in a position of power are making more profit than ever. And for those arguing the toss, energy bills get higher and grocery costs go through the roof faster than any other country within the European Union due to goods entering from the EU to the UK and the red tape involved. And leaving the Internal Energy Market has left uncertainty in the UK energy supply meaning rocketing prices.

And that leaves me in this position. Wondering where I can possibly live my life with my family with as much of this ‘good life’ as possible. It is no longer in the UK.

And I am no way blinkered to the trials and tribulations that await in the next part of my journey. There is no fantasy island. Perfection isn’t what I’m expecting.

Just as the shepherd protects his sheep, media outlets will claim that we are being protected from the external attacks and the internal disorder. And even if the grains of truth that are fed to us do protect its people, I’ll always remember that the Shepherd only protects his sheep for his own interests. And when the time comes he will sheer and slaughter them as his interests dictate.

Your boss, your political party leader or any other higher power won’t give you the good life.

YOU will.

YOU will give you and your family the good life. So start planning.

Priming Your Environment

This week’s quote of the week comes from the Dutch motivational speaker and author Alexander Den Heijer.

I have read lots of his work based around our environment and how to prime it to suit our needs in which to meet our personal goals.

He encapsulated this message perfectly when he said…

“When a flower doesn’t bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower.”

If you now focus on a specific goal that you have struggled with lately, you might find this quote useful to you.

We often put ourselves in the firing line when we don’t meet our own expectations. Perhaps your gym goals have stalled and you feel demoralised by the process. Firstly, the process is something that you must believe in for you to get successful results. So a full overhaul of all of your foundations isn’t what ‘fixing your environment’ means. After all, a flower doesn’t need a tropical rainforest to grow, it might just need a little bit more sunlight at the other side of your desk.

To ensure that you create the proper environment for your gym goals I’ve added a few tips below that should become your positive habit forming actions moving forward. AKA…priming your environment.

* Pack your gym kit the night before. If you’re in two minds on whether you attend the gym today, when your kit is ready to go in the boot of your car then you are far more likely to stick to it than rummaging the drawers for your favourite vest or sports bra during the morning rush.

* Prep your favourite nutritious meals. Batch cook sauces that can be frozen. Defrosting it and making a bowl of pasta or rice is a better alternative than starting from scratch…and if we really can’t be bothered to cook after a long day at work, we resort to takeaways. But you are more likely to stay within your calorie goals by prepping your own meals.

* Be around positive people. Whether it is in the gym or people you hang out with, if you are getting negative vibes from them then ditch them. This might seem like a big decision, after all, this could be a friend you’ve known since childhood or it could be your wife or husband. Talk to them, tell them how you feel, but if you still feel like crap because of what they say and do to you, then move on.

* And on the same theme as above, if it is a job, a gym, a pub or a social group that is holding you back then find an alternative. Find the places that allow you to be you and not what your environment demands of you.

And on that note I’ll finish with a final quote from Alexander.

“You often feel tired not because you’ve done too much, but because you’ve done too little of what sparks a light in you.”

Everything Flows, And Nothing Stays

We are all in a constant process of change. How you choose to adapt and evolve is largely down to you as an individual.

Your thoughts and feelings are probably very different to those of 20 years ago. Or 10 years ago. Or one year ago. And even less.

In the time that you click onto this page and read up to this point, your brain has inputted, stored and refreshed this information and it will keep happening every 15 seconds of your life. This continuity field allows the brain to call upon past experiences, snapshots and perceptions and use it in present situations. And because the brain is constantly collecting this information and storing it, we adapt our beliefs, thoughts and feelings along with it.

Once we know and understand this, the quote by Soren Kierkegaard starts to make sense…

“Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.”

The brain is constantly traveling back in time to recall each moment that is relevant for the present experience of the individual. Collecting stored data to form appropriate actions. This is how we are able to scan words when we read.

But, despite these most amazing things happening to our brains, we are the director of change and evolution. This is how habits can be broken and how past experiences can be used for strength, positivity and future happiness.

Heraclitus said…

“No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man.”

What did he mean? My interpretation of this is that once you step into a river the water is displaced with new water and the nature of the river is changed permanently. You are also changing.

Just because you have experienced a moment in your life does not mean that you must replay it. It just needs a little rethink, or in the case of your brain, a rewire. We can train our brain to do as we want. We can change what we don’t like, but your brain needs new material to process.

Neuroplasticity is the term used to describe the brain’s ability to adapt to different circumstances throughout your life. Affirmations, which is a technique to instill a positive mindset through repeated words and sentences, is the most popular way of achieving this brain rewire.

Affirmations are often short sentences that can be easily remembered and stored in your brain. And as we have discovered, once your brain has inputted this into its system, it will roll it out when needed.

Governments and ad companies use them too! So it’s not some hocus pocus stuff that some people want to believe.

I’m lovin’ it. Just do it. Get Brexit done. Build a wall. These are just a few examples of successful catchy earworms that are/were repeated to us constantly but there are actually thousands and thousands of other examples of clever affirmations that are instilled into our brain in order for us to act how that particular campaign wants us to act. Well, the good news is that it is actually YOU in control as long as you can counter the influences from around us.

You just need to keep telling yourself and reminding yourself of your aspirations, needs and life goals. If a burger company can make us keep going back to eat burgers with the same texture of cardboard and a government can instruct a whole nation to strip themselves of their rights and leave the EU whilst they titter all the way to their offshore accounts, then I’m sure that we can all manipulate our brains with our own affirmations. Positive affirmations.

When you stand in the river, it changes. Make sure that you change what you want to change too by giving your brain positive things to process. Because when it comes to it, your brain will be using this information to enable you to make those changes.

Continue to remind yourself who and what gets you out of bed each morning. Keep telling yourself how well you could do the new job that you have applied for and repeatedly remind yourself of your health and fitness goals. Write stuff down. Put it on a white board or on the fridge door. Keep your favourite affirmation as a screen saver. Anything at all to allow your brain to compute those words and keep them.

Everything keeps changing. You don’t have to be the one thing that doesn’t.