lifestyle – Page 13 – Never Give Up PT

Dig The Well

Just a short message for you today for us to have a little think about our health and wellbeing.

First of all it is important to note that beginning a fitness journey is never too late. Also, finding happiness and peace in your life can be discovered at any age. But searching for it is important and necessary. Very rarely will something fall at your feet.

I’ll use my profession as an example. Just in the space of a few weeks of attending a wedding, a few BBQ’s and kids events with my two boys, as soon as somebody knows that I’m a Personal Trainer I often get comments such as ‘I could do with losing a few pounds’ as they tap on their belly. Or on a couple of occasions I’ve had people say ‘I need to start going to the gym again’.

Of course, you might think that is my cue to sell them PT sessions or a fitness program. And I have often replied ‘well, you know where I am!’ But a social event is not the appropriate place to sell my services. A PT can clear a room when they start handing out business cards.

We often complain about our physique or our mindset without doing anything about it. I meet some acquaintances who I see very irregularly who complain every time about their weight or their injuries every time i see them. And, yes, there have been times where I have offered to help. I’m still waiting for their reply.

And yet with each day, week and year we age. With age comes more challenges in regards to our health. If we don’t feel ready for the battle today, how will we cope with tomorrow?

My clients understand that I’m not going to get them a quick fix. They will progress with me on the journey that it should be. This will help them in later life. I don’t promise a longer life, but I can give a pretty confident argument for living a better quality of life by making simple adjustments to their lifestyle.

Two reasons right here on why I need to keep working for a healthy future.

As the Chinese proverb goes…

Dig the well before you are thirsty.

Be prepared for the future by putting in the work today. Happiness, peace, health and wellbeing can all be discovered with the right course of action.

And that action, however small or subtle, should begin today.

M.O.T

I dread the day that my car goes in for its MOT. It’s the day I get to find out how much more out of pocket I’m going to be. However, the grand old Juke seems to have a bit of life left in it yet! It got the all clear.

But this isn’t an article about my car. Although, I wish that I was as prepared to get myself checked out as regularly as I do my car. The difference is, the car legally needs to be checked for road worthiness, but I can continue my life blissfully unaware without being stopped and penalised for not going to the doctors. That is until I break down. And then the penalties for my ignorance could, in fact, be my life.

The journalist, Bill Turnbull, adds to the long list of well known people who were diagnosed with a terminal illness who came out and said that they wished that they’d gone to the doctors earlier. This week he lost his fight. In a 2018 interview he said that he felt his bones ache and had pain in his hips which he put down to old age instead of going to the doctors. He left it too late, but he would speak out until his death about others going for their regular check ups so that they didn’t make the same mistake.

In the UK, the NHS Health Check is for people turning 40 and it is advised that we have one every 5 years. At 43 I’m still yet to have one. Indeed, I can’t even remember my last doctor’s appointment. I can blame Covid restrictions, sure, it has had an impact on health appointments.

But if I’m being honest, the older I get the more reluctant I am to see a doctor.

No. Let me rephrase that last sentence…

Being a dad of two beautiful little boys, I am reluctant to face the thought of being told that I might not see them grow up or that they and my wife have to go through the grief of losing me.

I know there’s no logic to it. If anything was discovered where I had to act on my health regarding treatment, the earlier the problem is found the better. But fear doesn’t always appear with common sense or rationale. It just bites and we act in whatever way we can. Usually to sweep it under the carpet.

This morning I booked my Health Check and I’m relieved now to have the appointment. I feel healthy. Sure, I don’t live a totally clean lifestyle in today’s definition of ‘clean’. But I exercise regularly and eat with an 80/20 rule where 80% of my diet is of nutritional value.

This, however, gives us no certainties. I might be giving myself a better chance to not just live longer, but to have a better quality of life. It doesn’t earn me guaranteed immunity though.

If I could, I would urge everyone who reads this and who has procrastinated in making their doctors check up appointments to do it today. I know that it isn’t as easy to get an appointment these days in some parts of the UK, but your appointment will take even longer if you don’t attempt to make one.

We would be quick to book our car’s MOT or service. But we have a vehicle that we own for life. Make sure you look after your body.

Rope-A-Dope

Perhaps I was a little over ambitious to set about a new online course for a further qualification just a couple of weeks before the summer holidays kicked in. With two boys off school I’m struggling to find any extra time for my regular appointments, let alone the added stress of completing assignments.

But that’s where I’m at. It’s what I signed up for. I don’t like my personal growth, business, economical, family or physical growth to become stagnant. And sometimes it is challenging.

I recently listened to a podcast from a speaker who said,”If you remain comfortable, you will fail. Success is not a comfortable procedure. You have to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. Start putting some pressure on.”

I fully understand this sentiment. I need goal setting, time lines, wins and losses. I’m not a betting man. At least not with the bookmakers. I hate it. I don’t even do the lottery. But I do take a punt on the outsider now and again trying to sneak a goal or ‘win by a nose’. On this occasion, that outsider is me.

One of Mohammed Ali’s most famous fights in the ring was 1974’s Rumble In The Jungle. He spent most of that fight on the ropes defending himself against the onslaught of George Foreman’s punches. Ali managed to tire his opponent out (throwing punches continuously is extremely tiring) and counter this by building his own attacks. He knocked Foreman out in the 8th round. The term was called rope-a-dope.

Success isn’t always built by coming out of the blocks looking for the quick fix. It often takes calculated risks. Ali left his comfort zone. He didn’t want the heavyweight champion of the world throwing punch after punch on him whilst he was trapped on the ropes. It’s a risky tactic. But he knew that this was a technique to win the match in this particular battle.

And as I sit in my bedroom thinking of the punches that are coming my way, I know that I will need to roll with them. Sure, I’ll need to come out fighting at some point, but I also need to find a way of protecting myself until I align myself with the task in hand. It’s not my round 8 just yet.

Choosing between…

* worrying about unfinished jobs, crying over missed opportunities, procrastinating over deadlines, avoiding the mirror because the school holidays seem like a looooong time and my belly looks bigger and the ‘v’ frown on my forehead gets more prominent, or

* choosing your battles, when to attack, when to rest, planning your route, accepting the knocks and finding solutions.

Both are about leaving your comfort zone. But the latter, albeit daunting and uncomfortable, still gives you control. There’s no easy way in finding what you want. The one that at least puts you in the most amount of control must be the best way.

Ali was always in control during this fight, but Foreman didn’t know that. Foreman felt too comfortable. It would be his downfall.

I know that my desires and ambition shouldn’t be tethered. They should be allowed to run freely around in my head like a pool of ideas, creativity and inspiration. And so I need to leave my comfort zone and set them free, knowing that I must remain patient in truly finding the wins in some cases. Locking my future goals away entirely will only fester anger and frustration.

I need to start with my next assignment if I’m to follow my own advice. One punch at a time, Shay. One punch at a time. As long as I can withstand that, It’ll soon be my round 8.

Last Of The Summer Wine

Over the past few weeks there’s been parents queuing up at the booze isle so that they can choose their poison for the evening when they’ve put the kids to bed.

How do I know? Because I’ve been one of them. And although it hasn’t gotten to fisty cuffs just yet, there’s been a few near misses as I hurdle the crates and boxes placed by the staff in the centre of the isles to get to the last bottle of Montepulciano. I almost straddled Big Dave’s back to reach for this particularly fruity red but luckily he was headed for the stout section. Just as well. If I had to challenge him for my favourite tipple I think I would’ve lost.

Of course, it’s not just the parents heading for the booze section. A study published by The Lancet in 2017 found that global alcohol consumption had gone up by 70% from 1990 to 2017. Notice the dates. This was pre-pandemic. I can’t imagine the consumption of alcohol to have gone down.

People are finding work stressful. They turn on the news to wars and political unrest. The economy is a mess. Social media can be addictive but toxic. People are having to hang on in there. The daily grind leads to an alcohol unwind. I just made that up. It rhymed.

But anyway, my job as a fitness coach isn’t to analyse the many studies made on our society. But it is my job to know how to deal with the many different issues that our society brings up. Body confidence, work life balance, injuries, physical health, mental health and food anxieties are all things that I deal with regularly in my work.

But I’ll tell you why I am particularly good at what I do. Everything I have listed above I have had to deal with in my own life at some time or another. Some are more prominent than others, but damn, it hits you like a ton of bricks and knocks you off course pretty quickly. Alcohol, perhaps, becomes a crux for some. For others it might be over or under eating. And then there’s a whole myriad of people who self harm in other ways. There isn’t much I haven’t seen.

My weight management programme has been tweaked to what is now a well established offering to my clients. Why? Most people don’t even know they’re on a programme. It simply becomes a journey of self discovery. It deals with becoming stronger both physically and mentally. It is designed to challenge the body and the thought processes that we have. I not only wrote the programme, but I lived it first.

Adding a summer sports school for a hundred kids two days a week to my list of work commitments this summer has had me spinning those plates to the extent that, just maybe, Big Dave wouldn’t have stood a chance had he made a grab for my bottle of Montepulciano.

But come September, I’ll be back to dropping the kids off at school and having a focus on developing my online coaching programmes and my gym work.

And seeing as the kids go back to school next week and I’m about to open this bottle of Montepulciano right now, it could be the last of my summer wine.

I’ve Got Piles

I’ve got piles, they’re multiplying and I’m losing control.

Piles of drawings done by the kids, bills, receipts, instruction leaflets, takeaway menus and just about anything that can recreate some odd paper game of Jenga seem to appear around the house every now and again. As I went round the house doing a tidy up this morning I noticed these piles laughing at me.

“Whatcha gonna do about it?!” They mocked. I had no answer. Each item in the pile needs some sort of attention and probably when I get a moment to actually sit down to sort through them, I will find that most of it is fit for the bin or recycling. But the six week school holidays have just hit. Sorting through this needs time and organisation. It needs me to actually set aside some time and put these things in their proper place, if at all they have or deserve one.

We have a bill drawer. Drawings from the boys either get put in their personal keep sake files or culled after a while. Takeaway menus usually get thrown away, not because I don’t order from them, but I already have my favourite. Nobody does chilli sauce like Kammy. Best Kebab on Low Street can do one. Receipts? How long do I need to keep a receipt from Aldi for a pack of 3 mixed peppers and a green top milk?!! Why is it in my life?!!!

Of course, these piles are often a reflection of where my head is at. A jumble. And when I start to delve further through the clutter it poses more questions than answers and I haven’t got a moment to deal with it properly just yet. I try. But within a couple of minutes I hear a squabble start about whether Mr Bean or Paddington should go on the TV. So the pile gets left a little longer. But, sometimes, it only takes that next bit of paper to make the whole thing topple over. It needs to be dealt with before it does.

But I’ll tackle this in my usual way. I’ll sort each bit out methodically. First of all will be my kids drawings. That isn’t a chore at all. In fact it’ll make me smile. Half of them will get put on the fridge door. So I’d better shape up, cos I need a plan. And their art is put on view….

Maybe I Should Learn The Rules

At some stage in the 90’s when I was in middle School (middle schools were a thing then) the game British Bulldog was banned by many schools due to the amount of injuries in the playground that had occurred whilst playing it.

At the time we had the ‘health and safety gone mad’ people blaming everything from UK Law to Europe for banning a much loved kids game. And even now the ‘this is because of woke culture’ gets screamed out as soon as something is risk assessed. However, British Bulldog was never banned by any laws, it was just a number of head teachers that had noticed the game getting out of hand in the playground.

In fact, as much as we might think that this health and safety craze and the compensation culture started by mine and the younger generations, it is worth pointing out that back in 1878 a grocer got compensated £15 (£750 in today’s money) for claiming that he slipped playing blind man’s buff.

A one off incident? No, not at all. Amongst the many successful claims for compensation was the man who was awarded £50 in 1890 for injuring his eye while throwing rice at a wedding. Or what about the shipbuilder who won a £1000 claim because he swallowed a fishbone in 1900?

So I don’t really blame a headmaster in 1993 for banning a fairly rough game before a kid got his arm broken. They didn’t want to get sued.

But the game has survived. Not only is this a game played during children’s football coaching drills but it is also a favourite at summer sports schools. Over the summer holidays I am on the coaching team at my local multi sports summer school. And when Bulldog was introduced the kids went wild for it. But there are a few tweaks to the original rules that I grew up with. Maybe I should’ve learnt them beforehand. Asking seven year olds what the rules are when I’m their coach for the day put me on the back foot!

Nevertheless Bulldog, Bench Ball and Dodgeball are now games I know how to play without the dangers of broken bones. Dodgeball, for example, is nothing like the 2004 movie. Who knew?!

So tomorrow I’ll be much more confident in leading a game I now know the rules of. That is, of course, unless tomorrow’s schedule includes conkers. Because that got banned back in the 90’s at my school too!

The Great Under Cracker Wearing Planning Person

So, what have you got planned this week? What steps have you put in place to make sure you get stuff done?

I’m not the type that expects us to be on the go all the time and we MUST be always busy with something. I enjoy down time with a series on Netflix or watching about five episodes of Come Dine With Me in one night (I know, we’re odd). But to comfortably manage the down time, it’s good to have a plan of action for the stuff that needs to get done first.

It is Sunday evening. To be honest it’s got to that time of day where I’ll be happy to get the kids to bed and lay on the sofa in my under crackers watching people slate each other’s dinner parties. But before I do, I just need to give a little thought to my week ahead. Planning a packed lunch for tomorrow will only take ten minutes. Sorting my gym bag out, 5 minutes. I don’t book onto gym classes but if I did I’d do it right now before it gets filled up. I know the days and roughly the times I will train. My diary is sorted for my appointments and I’ve discussed what the family activity will be on Wednesday when we all have the day together.

I’m not the best organised person. I’m quite laid back with my approach to planning. But I know that I need to give myself a kick up the arse sometimes so that, come tomorrow, I’m not left rushing about because I didn’t bother to give any consideration to the days ahead.

Just having an idea of my week ahead can ease my cluttered brain. Things happen. Curve balls are thrown and as Robert Burns once said, “even the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry”. But it is much more difficult to stumble through an unplanned day than it is to fix or rearrange ones that didn’t work out.

Anyway, I’m not getting any planning done, Come Dine With Me watching or under cracker wearing right now so I’d best be off to do a bit. I’m overseeing over a hundred kids at a summer multi sports camp tomorrow so I’ll quickly make my sarnies and get some rest before the proverbial hits!!

Me trying to decide on my Take That undies or my Batman briefs for slobbing on the sofa to watch tele.

School’s Out!

The 6 week school holidays is a time that Lou and I have come to enjoy rather than endure. Eventually, now the boys are 8 and 6, we seem to have found a balance to our family time and business commitments. But it won’t be without a bit of stress from time to time. After all, Lou and I still need to work and find those special moments with the boys. I enjoy my work. The gym is my happy place whether I’m training myself or someone else. But creating family memories is extremely important to me.

It’s time to spin those plates and this is how I intend on not smashing any of them…

* I still need to train. That is a non-negotiable that I have talked about in a previous blog. There’s an aspect of attempting to look my 43 year old best. I make no apologies in saying that I enjoy the aesthetic rewards of training. But more importantly it keeps me sane. Training is MY time. Lou knows that this is the case and I’m grateful that she understands. Of course, she will book Yoga classes or find her time too.

* My very first blog was called ‘Shouty Dad Has Gone’. Perhaps other parents know what I mean when I say that, sometimes, our little darlings can only push us so far. We lose it. We see red. Well, I still do at times. I love my boys, but wow, they can have me rocking in a corner some days. Anyway, I no longer feel the need to act like Arnold Schwarzenegger in Kindergarten Kop. I remain calm. Count to 10. Meditate. Cry. Whatever, I remain calm.

* I make sure that I have a support network. Ok, Lou and I haven’t got hundreds of friends inviting us for evenings out or for tea and cake afternoons all too often. But we have each other and we have a few friends who are mostly made up of parents who need to offload occasionally too. A rant to someone other than your immediate family is good for the soul!

* We have made plans. When we do have days off together we don’t want it to get to midday before we actually decide on what we’re going to do. So as well as a week away in a holiday cottage we have planned a few day trips to keep the boys away from the X-box.

* I’ll stay in control of my diet. Just because the kids want turkey dinosaurs and ice cream doesn’t mean I have to. A dramatic change to my eating habits will change my mood. I’ll feel lethargic and less motivated. My above points will also change for the worse if I let this happen. If I allow my nutrition to suffer, other aspects of my life will too.

These are just a few pointers to myself that I aim to stick with to ensure a successful and fun school summer holiday. Maybe you might find some things that are useful to you or you might want to think of your own ideas.

Thanks for reading. Speak soon!

Life, Heat and Catching Up!

Over the past few weeks I have set myself targets as to where I see myself in 12 months time. There’s no stress that I’ve put myself under with it apart from a further education course that I have started which has a deadline. Other than that, I have focused on what makes me happy and what my future self would thank me for.

I guess that’s partly why I have been less active in scribbling down my thoughts here. Any chance I have I have been studying, training or finding ways to develop myself, my business, my family life and my happiness.

But this makes me happy. Right now, writing this. So I thought it was time for a catch up.

I wouldn’t be able to commit to any of my targets if it wasn’t for certain people, or groups of people, in my life. I have spoken before about how my wife had encouraged me to become a Personal Trainer and her empowering spirit for me has now enabled me to become a certified Meditation teacher but also enrol on a Cognitive Behavioural Therapy course. The human brain interests me. I truly believe that if we can control the thoughts in our head better then we can live much happier lives with ourselves. I meet so many people who are unhappy with their physical selves, yet with a different approach to their way of thinking they would realise that they don’t have to be. Wanting change is fine, but only for the right reasons.

My clients inspire me. My online PT app bleeps at me more than a busy checkout isle at Sainsbury’s. I love getting alerts for a new achievement or a message on how their new training program is going. It makes me get off of my arse and get stuff done too!

And I have told my kids before that they are my heroes. Yes, kids should be told that they have the ability to inspire, empower and display heroic acts by their grown ups. My kids dealt with periods of lockdown better than me. My youngest is the brightest and most thoughtful boy. And my latest beaming with pride moment is when my 8 year old played a football tournament in stifling heat and helped his team win the final. 7 games in total and he didn’t stop running. His commitment in the final, even as his team went a goal down, saw him equalise and push his team to victory.

I have wanted to give the gym a miss during the recent heatwave but then I recall my son’s commitment to HIS cause in a difficult, energy zapping environment and got my own training done. It isn’t easy. Winning his medal didn’t come easily to him. If it did, would he have been almost in tears with sheer jubilation at the final whistle? I think not. Similarly, my goals don’t come easily either. But not even doing it eventually makes things even harder. My son tried his best. This time he won, but that won’t always happen.

Surround yourself with triers, empowerers and positive people and if you can give it back to them too.

I must get back to the books now. I have a course to complete. But I enjoyed the catch up. Speak soon.

Change The Formula

We’ve all heard of the expression ‘Stuck in a rut’. Typically I see this with workouts that gym goers perform day after day.

‘Shay, I’m just not seeing any more progress’. This is regularly said to me. In some cases, I have people tell me that not only do they stop seeing progress, but they see regression.

This isn’t new or something that is confined to our fitness. We get stuck in a rut in life too. Our jobs can be like Groundhog Day. Our social life gets tedious. Yes, listening to John in the Nag’s Head complain about VAR for the third time this week gets boring. And our relationships can lose their spark.

Change is not a bad thing. It doesn’t need a whole reinvention of yourself. But it does need a bit of thought on how you can adapt to today’s you.

Last year’s you might have got excited about a 5k run, but today’s you doesn’t.

Your job might have challenged you when you started it 5 years ago, but today’s you isn’t.

Going to the pub at the end of your shift was a way of unwinding ten years ago, but today’s you doesn’t.

And your partner used to love watching a Steven Segal boxset on an evening with you when you first got together, but be careful, they might have changed.

Change the formula.

You’re not stuck. You’re just committed to certain patterns of behaviour because they helped you in the past. Now, these behaviours have become more harmful than helpful. The reason why you can’t move forward is because you keep applying an old formula to a new level in your life. Change the formula for a different result. Love and respect the person that got you here, but have the same love and respect for the future you too.

Thank you for reading my article. Speak soon!