Author Archives: Shay PT

A PT, wellbeing host in Portugal, Online Coach and Meditation tutor dad and husband trying to juggle life

Injury Time

You stand on the sideline watching your team defend their delicate one goal advantage as the onslaught of attack after attack comes at them. As the coach, there’s very little you can do now. You’ve set the team up, made the substitutions and given your encouragement from the dug out. They’re almost over the line, but you can’t rule out one last big chance falling to their number 9.

Ex Manchester United manager, Alex Ferguson called it ‘squeaky bum time.’

I hate the expression, but I get it. Even though it’s just a football match he’s referring to.

My family and I are in injury time. We’ve done the prep and a lot of the hard work. But perhaps, as we wait for a completion date, money transfers and an upcoming consulate meeting, our nerves will be tested in these final moments even more than the past 12 months. It could, as each email and phone call passes by, be the strongest we’ve had to be thus far.

The email from the solicitor feels like another aerial challenge inside our six yard area. The number of the estate agents coming up on our phone is like a penalty appeal from the opposition crowd. We just need the final whistle.

With a chain of house sellers and buyers behind us, we can only hope that we hear the final whistle soon. We’re fully aware of what the implications of a house sale involving a chain can be, even deep into injury time.

My clients have all heard me say these words before…Trust the process.

Indeed, a good coach will have meticulously accounted for every eventuality with their client. I’ve programmed for the positive times, where the client is motivated and keen. But then I have to programme the not so easy moments where the client feels low and doesn’t hit targets.

There needs to be a plan A, B, C and beyond! But as long as you trust the process then the end result will be the right one.

Some of the greatest football managers of my time have trusted 100% in their project. Ferguson, Guardiola, Klopp rely on their ability and the team that they have built.

And so a trainee must also believe in themselves and their coach. Achieving great things doesn’t work otherwise.

Lou and I trust our process in completing the sale of our house and successfully obtaining the VISA for our move to Portugal. And beyond that, we are fully confident in our ability to put our business plans into action.

But it doesn’t mean that we are sitting comfortably. After all, nobody wants to go to extra time and penalties.

Smoke And Mirrors

In light of the UK government’s recent announcement that they want to phase out the selling of cigarettes I thought that it would be remiss of me, as a fitness and wellbeing coach, to avoid the subject.

The problem is that when I proceed in talking about the UK’s current government on various platforms I can sense the ‘ban button’ being pressed.

However, I’m a fitness coach about to talk about smoking. I’m going to wholeheartedly agree with the government, right?

Well, no. In fact I find it a blatant attempt to gain votes in the next general election. The conservative government heavily relies on the older generation’s votes. And seeing as the over 65’s only make up around 8% of the smoking population it is bound to be a credible announcement to many of its potential voters. Especially when we are given the statistics on health related issues due to cigarette smoking and the burden this has on the National Health Service.

But hang on. Where do we draw the line here? According to NHS England the cost of smoking related costs to the NHS is £2.5 billion a year. Yet alcohol related illness costs £3.5 billion a year. And according to gov.uk, obesity costs the NHS a whopping £6.5 billion a year.

I think that we would all agree, these are serious issues in most western countries. Smoking, heavy drinking and obesity can contribute to ill health and therefore become a burden on the NHS in the UK.

As a fitness coach and as a father to two young boys, I would very much like smoking to be banned.

But as a realist I am going to aim for something different. I realise that there is a chance that my kids will try a ciggie with their mates and they probably drink alcohol before legal age. I don’t want them to, but if I manage the probabilities and potential outcomes then I think that I can navigate their moments of being pressured by their peers into exactly that, a kid trying to ‘fit in’ with their mates.

And when I consider all of the other stuff that kids can do to show off then trying a cigarette is the least of my concerns. Sex, class A drugs, bullying, dares along a rail track.

Blimey. If they just manage to throw a whity after trying a B&H then I’ll relieved!

I stopped smoking when I found out that Lou was pregnant with Jonas, so ten years ago. I regret smoking now and often think of the damage that I might have caused and how much money it will have cost. But I also remember sharing a cig with a friend who had just lost their dad. I remember the Cuban cigar on honeymoon as Lou and I lay on the Carribbean sand together. I remember making a few rollies for my bricky mates as we shared a banter over a lunch break. And I remember talking to total strangers in the rain outside a nightclub as we huddled together to try to stay dry before going back inside.

Now, I’m not condoning smoking, but I’m not going to condemn it either.

I grew up at a time when smoking was not just legal, but very much widely accepted. The adverts on TV, the daily newspapers and the magazines were ones which told us that smoking would give us a better social standing, greater health and a better life.

Although we now know this to be untrue, for those who have smoked cigarettes in the past we can perhaps see the benefits at the time. Whether to calm our nerves, to enjoy a moment with a cig and a cuppa, or as a social norm.

And if the media and the companies with their billions of pounds advertising campaigns are telling us that it is something that we should be doing, then it is perfectly reasonable to suggest that the pleasures of smoking cigarettes has been worming into our behaviour for centuries.

Indeed, the first cigarette ad campaign was in 1789 in America. How, then, are we supposed to just ban something that is so ingrained into our western society?

During PT consultations, clients would sometimes sheepishly tell me that they smoked. People seem to see me as a preacher for all things healthy. I’m really not. Like I say, I’m a realist. Rather than vilify them and tell them that they should quit, I ask them what steps THEY want to make to feel fitter, happier, healthier. Pizzas aren’t banned, wine isn’t banned, smoking isn’t banned. Not on my shift. My clients will make their own judgements on what they need to do in their own time.

If I were to start banning things from their life, they would do what many of us would do. Rebel. Us humans hate to be told what to do. We like to realise it for ourselves.

The bottom line is this…

I don’t think that banning cigarettes will make us or our children happier or healthier. I agree that certain products that we can legally buy should come with advisories, but allow us to make our own choices free of manipulating ad campaigns and I am confident that we can make good choices.

And if the parties that we vote for can be honest, then perhaps we can make better choices on voting day.

Letting Off A Bit Of Steam

https://youtube.com/shorts/HaKNb5XmaZ0?si=ySpzqNRhA0R4Q0a1

We are now within our final two weeks of living in the UK before our move to Portugal. The process has been hard and the uncertainty for the four of us has taken its toll. However, developments have taken place over the past few days and we even have our consulate date now for Manchester later this month. So we are on the right track.

But Sunday was a time to let off a bit of steam. Lou, the boys and I took a drive to the village of Grosmont, a picturesque place in the North York Moors and had a lovely walk along the old railway track.

It was very refreshing not to be talking about glamping, central Portugal, VISA applications or packing. We just breathed in the moment.

And we saw just how beautiful England is and, especially being Yorkshire folk, how lucky we are for having this on our doorstep.

Sycamore Tree

Sometimes, I feel like a tree.

I can stand tall and firm during stormy weathers, despite my leaves and branches looking a little dishevelled from the whole experience.

I am frequently visited and loved by many, I know. But I can feel lonely and vulnerable too.

People come and talk to me and ask me stuff. Yes me! A tree! I try to give good advice. I have, after all, some years of experience at living life.

I am beautiful.

They can kick me. They can cut me down. They can destroy me.

But I am not the problem. They are.

And for all their destruction, my energy will continue to give the people who I love and who love me the strength that they need to carry on.

Sometimes, I feel like a tree. But I’m not. I am so grateful to share this planet with a tree because I’m not worthy.

I am beautiful. But I’m not a tree.

In That Moment

I wonder if any of my readers might know the author of this quote…

“It is better to have done something imperfectly than done nothing flawlessly.”

I like it. And in my attempts to find the author I came across another quote not dissimilar by John Steinbeck…

“And now you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good.”

What is wrong with imperfections? What is wrong with good? Or sometimes even  adequate?

Blimey! If I could leave the gym feeling that I had done an adequate workout for most of my visits then I would have been making excellent progress!

But perfection? Even if I attempted to aim for that then I know that I would be disappointed. Disappointment leaves us demoralised. Being demoralised means that we give up. When we give up, we achieve nothing.

I have begun to embrace my imperfections. Maybe it’s an age thing, I dunno. I aim to do a ‘good’ job at everything I do. I have sometimes got anxious about not getting it spot on and it leaves me feeling rubbish. Inadequate. But when I aim for ‘good’, there’s a weight of responsibility lifted from my shoulders. It’s almost as if I can just begin to enjoy the task in hand rather than pretend to be super human.

I do my best at that moment in time.

And this helps me to understand other people’s efforts too. I used to get frustrated when my son could play a ‘player of the match’ performance one week and the next he didn’t turn up. This, as I now realise, can be for a whole number of reasons. Just like a client in a training session. We will not always achieve a personal best, a player of the match performance, score a worldy or be at our optimum 24/7. We are not robots.

But what I appreciate about my kids, employees, clients and of myself is that we just turn up and give it a go. To do our best in that moment.

Sometimes we feel like crap, right? We’re not always on tip top form. But it would be better to have done something imperfectly than to do nothing flawlessly.

Have a think about that the next time you’ve got a job or a task that you face. Just do it and do your best

In

That

Moment

The Casting Call

So, I’d best get my hair cut to look my very best! We’ve just found out that we will be having an interview with C4’s A New Life In The Sun on Friday. It’s basically a telly box show about people from the UK moving to work and live abroad.

When we applied, we didn’t really expect to hear anything after that. But today we got the message that they want to set up a casting call with Lou and I!

What fun!

And I don’t think I’ve ever been on telly before. Maybe I worked my way into a shot during Challenge Anika in the early 90’s when Anika Rice was doing up a school near where I lived, but I’ve never played the main role!

We have, of course, developed a YouTube channel called The Road To Tranquility which we are yet to film a first episode. After all, although the road has been long for us so far, we haven’t even made it out of the country! So not much to film as yet.

Lou and I have watched and often become inspired by other participants of A New Life In The Sun for years. And although this is a journey that neither of us have ever done before, perhaps if we pass the casting call, we can inspire others too.

Never Change, Finlay

For a few years now Lou, Finlay and I have watched Jonas lift the trophies, receive the accolades and praise of the teachers and sports coaches which has been a joy. But there has always been a sadness in my heart when I sat applauding him as he has his pictures taken with the players at Scarborough Athletic and I look at Finlay and wish ‘when can Finlay have his moment?’

Jonas received his swimming badges before Finlay, he became the school sports star, was known as the class maths whizz, had the striking curly hair that the old ladies loved to fuss over in the street. Finlay has always looked on.

Now, of course, Finlay is two and a half years younger, so Jonas would always reach certain developmental milestones ahead of Finlay. But I could see that Finlay felt overshadowed. Or maybe, it’s us as parents that have felt this on behalf of Finlay. He has always shown support towards his big brother and he has never complained.

However, Finlay became the comedian. His attempts, I believe to stand out and be seen, was to be the ‘class clown’.

And I know this because that was me as a kid and then into adulthood. Even now, I’m never too far away from telling a crap joke. At school I was always one of the first to be picked for sports teams. That was never an issue. But in class and amongst my peers, I always felt on the periphery. I wanted an identity. Being ‘sporty’ just wasn’t enough. I had all this creative energy waiting to burst out of me and as a teenager this came out by writing poetry, stand up routines and comedy sketches. I got more joy out of hearing someone laugh than scoring a winning goal.

Today Finlay received his first ever certificate of achievement at his school. We were invited to the assembly and Lou and I beamed with pride. It was awarded for always giving his 100% in his work.

I want Finlay to understand that he is his own person. He doesn’t have to follow in his brother’s footsteps of being a footballer. I’d much rather he didn’t! He doesn’t have to be good at whatever Jonas is good at. Finlay just needs to be Finlay, doing what he is doing and turning into a wonderful young boy.

Never change, Finlay, never change.

The Squirrel At Shuttleworth Garden

It’s a beautiful September morning in Scarborough, England today. The sun is shining, the air is crisp and the sea gently glistens. For all my needs to leave for Portugal, I can’t imagine a better setting for what could be my last ever personal training session in the UK.

The park at Shuttleworth garden once again provides a wonderful outdoor gym. The views are spectacular of the sea and the castle in the distance. The animals came to observe what I was doing too. One squirrel in particular seemed very interested in my kettlebell.

This park is special to me. Once lockdown restrictions were relaxed and exercise in parks were permitted, this was one of the parks I would use. The lady who I trained today is special too as I trained her throughout 2020 and has been a weekly trainee with me for over four years now. So her dedication has been fantastic. Next week, if the weather is as lovely as today and I have the time in-between packing etc, I’d like to think we could get one more session in at Shuttleworth garden.

I like to live in the moment so I often forget to take pictures. I also didn’t want any unnecessary movements to scare the squirrel away, but I think I captured the moment that the squirrel scurried over to see what I was doing as I set up my equipment.

Maybe he wanted to join in, but that would be nuts.

Don’t Just Believe Me! Do Your Research!

Early on in my Personal Training career I decided to stop certain weight loss claims to grab a potential client’s attention.

Things like ‘lose a guaranteed 5 pounds a week on my new weight loss plan!’ seemed tacky and tabloid. It’s also misleading.

I also felt that the magic pills and fad diet ads that cluttered my social media feed were damaging to our health and fitness goals. But if they make money from you, they will sell it. They will claim any benefit they can in order for you to buy that product. The regulations on such claims are virtually none existent.

Social media allows us as individuals and the companies that are selling a service, to say whatever we like. Ok. We might be fact checked or receive a three day ban for going against certain guidelines, but how many people are we able to reach before it is flagged as inappropriate or false information?

And giving out falsehoods can be profitable if your face fits. A TOWIE turned influencer can successfully promote the latest diet fad. An extra from Home Alone can encourage an attack on the US Capitol. Heck! Even Katie Hopkins and Billie Piper’s ex can get the British voting public to leave the EU and destroy the economy. All by using buzzwords, soundbites and propaganda.

It has happened long before social media of course. The written press has lied to not only sell questionable products, but fund German fascist regimes ( 1933,The Mail, Lord Rothermere) and criminalise the victims of a football stadium disaster (1988, Rupert Murdoch, The Sun).

And here’s a story that proves the lack of investigative journalism in the UK for the sake of a headline. A story was put out about an England football fan who was so worried about the risk of England failing in the 2006 World Cup that he had paid £100 to insure himself against emotional trauma. The story continued that, if he could provide medical evidence that he had suffered trauma, he would receive a payout of £1 million by a particular online insurance company.

UK tabloids ran with this story, of course, but it didn’t stop there. The Guardian newspaper and the Telegraph too! It even made TV and radio news from no other than ITV, Sky and the BBC. Yes! The BBC! So it must be true, right.

No.

With a quick Google check it was discovered that this guy had been involved in insurance stories before using the same company. One involving insurance on his mortgage and, remarkably, he was the same England football fan who had insured his mental well-being at the previous World Cup in Japan in 2002.

As it turned out, this guy was a marketing director who specialised in promoting web based companies. He had successfully promoted the online insurance company whilst proving that the media, including the UK’s national broadcaster, were lazy in their attempts to bring us factual news.

The health and fitness industry relies heavily on the media running these kinds of remarkable stories in order to get the word out that their product really works!

‘Gemma lost 6 stone by drinking apple cider vinegar!’

‘Bryan gained a six pack by eating fish and chips every day!’

‘Gaynor looks drop dead gorgeous in figure hugging dress after this six week nutrition plan!’

And even I’m a part of that. I appreciate you reading my articles, I really do, but don’t just take my word for it! If there’s something that resonates with you in a health and fitness blog then do a bit of research and find out if it is right for you. Are there any other experts out there that are backing up what I’m saying?

The bottom line is that you have to do your own research when it comes to stuff that you read and hear. You’ll get to know credible sources. You’ll be more confident getting your information from certain people or publications. Ask people that you trust in your own life. Once you have gathered the evidence then you can make more informed choices. And if it is anything to do with your health and wellbeing, then being armed with informed choices is super important to you.