I Need Help

I randomly watched an interview from 1997 with Elton John the other day where he mentioned seeing Elvis months before he died. Elton was worried for Elvis with how he looked and wasn’t surprised when he heard that Elvis had died not long after.

Shortly after this news, Elton made a massive decision himself to seek help for his lifestyle. In his words in this interview with Oprah Winfrey he said that he told those closest to him and professionals that he needed help

“I need help. Those three words are so important. And once I said those words I never looked back.” Elton said.

Yet those three words don’t always have to come at your most desperate times. Unlike most of us, Elton John, as he admits in the interview, had wealth and a fame that enabled him to be surrounded by people that told him daily how great he was. His career, selling millions of records, was confirming his popularity. But that could not stop this urge to almost self destruct. He said those words just in time and maybe Elvis didn’t.

It doesn’t matter who we are. Whether we are successful in our job, exercise, meditate or pray daily, have a loving family and supportive friends, become one of the most famous names in the world. The need to say “I need help,” sometimes is important.

But rather than saying them just in the nick of time, perhaps we need to learn to say them more regularly. Maybe we need help with a work deadline or organising an event that seems to have bogged you down. Or it could be something even smaller like asking for help with a bench press at the gym or reaching for an item on the top shelf at the supermarket!

Yes, it might seem trivial, but the burden of always having to come across as so friggin’ perfect all the time is actually a breath of fresh air. And this perfection seems to be something that we have to aim for these days. We have to be seen to be saying and doing the right thing all of the time because we get judged by strangers, colleagues and social media.

The other month I was looked at rather strangely as I said that I needed help changing a car tyre. A man who had obviously had lots of experience in changing car tyres did it very quickly. But for a moment I became quite self conscious that, as a man, I should have been able to do that. But that is, in fact, bollocks.

I have helped rehabilitate Team GB athletes from serious injury, I’ve successfully structured fitness programmes and healthy eating diets for hundreds of people and I’ve supported many people with mental health issues. I consider myself to be quite good at all of that. Sod the society that says that my masculinity is questioned because I can’t change a tyre. I’m crap with a drill as well but I don’t worry about it anymore. I just ask for help from someone who is better at it than me like my wife.

Now, whenever I ask for help, I can feel a tension release from my shoulders. That’s where I feel the stress the most. It travels into my trapezius, my neck and finally my head. And whether it’s a big problem or a small problem, asking for a little bit of help can stop it from manifesting. And when you surround yourself with the right people, it’s amazing how many people are happy to help.