Wonka-Vite!

Finlay, my 7 year old son, is currently enjoying Charlie And The Great Glass Elevator by Roald Dahl. I like that he is now at an age where he can read the books of Roald Dahl as it brings back so many memories for myself as I was also an avid reader of his work as a child.

This particular book, in true Dahl fashion, has the chapter about a pill invented by Wonka that makes you look younger. The Wonka-Vite. Finlay read the chapter with me and announced, “You need one of these pills daddy.”

Oh how brutally honest children can be! “Yes, sometimes I feel like I could do with a Wonka-Vite.” I replied.

It is concerning, however, when manufacturers, advertisers and the media are as brutal as a child when they try to flog their pills and potions. I’m sure that they want us to feel old and fat and insecure because insecure people are often willing to spend money on finding a cure for their insecurities. Almost daily I see an advert or link to a site that sells weight loss tablets.

And these little gadgets in our hands are now the conduit which connects these companies straight to us. These ads know who we are, what we look like, what we search for and what we want. They’re happy to oblige.

Another ad that regularly crops up on my social media feed is the miracle cure for baldness. So if any of you don’t know by now, I’m bald. The interesting thing here though is that they declare that they can ‘cure’ me.

Am I sick? Have I got a disease? Should I tell people to stand two metres apart and wash their hands while singing to Oasis if they accidentally touch my folically challenged smooth head? Is it life threatening? Please, tell me, doctors on my FB page, how long have I got left?!

Kids make the same diagnosis as these ads. Having worked with kids for the past year, I know that they are very keen to point out that I’m bald. I play on this, of course. I’ve been losing my hair for long enough to not care one bit about it. As we get caught in the rain playing football I will suggest that we go back inside so that I don’t get my hair wet. The chorus of kids shouting back at me ‘But you’re bald!!!” will forever amuse me.

And when I ask for a second opinion my own kids confirm the diagnosis of this baldness disease. They’re astute. The future of the NHS is safe.

These pills, potions and magical cures can be very costly. But one thing is free. The ability to love oneself is free and available to everyone. It’s sometimes difficult to find, but it can be found.

If losing weight is a goal then loving yourself at the beginning of the process makes the journey so much easier. We forgive those that we love. We wish the people we love the very best. We stand in their corner when they need someone to cheer them on. We give them good, honest advice.

So I don’t really need a Wonka-Vite to feel younger and I don’t need a cure for baldness. I already have a potion that makes me dance like a young John Travolta and sing Rock DJ like a top of his game albeit a little arrogant Robbie Williams circa 2000….

….It’s red wine.

And self love of course!