A week without too many work appointments has given me time to think. I am, of course, in the middle of the school summer holidays and with a house to pack, but nevertheless, there are moments presented to me to think.
I think about my younger self quite a lot. Leigh, as I was called from birth, was an angry young man at times. By 18 I was a member of the Socialist Workers Party standing in the middle of Leeds City centre with my friends talking to the public about the injustices of society looking like an extra from Citizen Smith.
Along with a tattoo of Che Guevara on my arm, I dressed like I was ready for guerrilla warfare. And that is where my name Shay came from. My English friends would pronounce Che’s name with a Sh, instead of Ch. So they called me Shay.
I don’t regret my involvement with the SWP. They were well meaning people who were perplexed by the world around them. And I would never discourage anybody from being more active in politics. But it dragged me down. It had just turned 2002. World politics was very charged. I had to take a step back.
I used to think that I could change the world. But I soon found out that I couldn’t. Those who know me, however, know that they will hear my views on current affairs within ten minutes of meeting up with me. I don’t hide them.
I’ve always watched news programmes and read history books. I soon swapped The Beano for Alan Bullock’s Parallel Lives: Hitler And Stalin. I’d forfeit computer game nights with my mates for Question Time.
But I couldn’t just read or watch about the world we live in without forming strong opinions. Opinions that then made me want to change the way the world was.
It became increasingly frustrating for me when I began to realise that I couldn’t. Not in the way I wanted to. In the way I thought I should. I felt some responsibility for that.
It took me a long time to work out that the best way to change anything is to change my own attitude. I took control of who I hung around with, ridding myself of toxic people. I became incredibly choosy about the news outlets that I would observe. I would go for long walks when I felt anxious which then led to a love affair with the gym. I met and married a wonderful, caring person and now teach our children to be compassionate and kind human beings.
I’m not fighting the enemy in Bolivia. I’m not glueing myself to buildings. I’m not campaigning in the city centre streets. But I am trying to be the best version of myself that I possibly can. That’s all that I can ask of myself. I’ll always keep my principles close to me. They’re so close that you’ll see them worn on my sleeve. But I decided to pick my fights very carefully. That way, I stay in control of me. I have the power.
But if I can change myself, then I am in a much better place to make changes to the world around me. The people I am in contact with. The environment I am in. The future of those I love. And together we can make the world a brighter place.
Did you know that we release powerful hormones such as dopamine and serotonin when we smile or are smiled at?
Mother Theresa said that ‘Peace begins with a smile.’
Wouldn’t that be lovely? Perhaps giving yourself a smile in the mirror on a morning and telling yourself how fantastic you are will start that ripple effect. First on your family, then your work colleagues and even strangers in the street.
Now that’s changing the world.
I’ll leave you with a quote from the poet Rumi, who said, “Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise so I decided to change myself.”
Never Give Up PT 