Jonas’ Journey: A Case Study

“Speak to your children as if they are the wisest, kindest most beautiful and magical humans on Earth. For what they believe, they will become.”

Jonas is an 8 year old boy. He lives with his younger brother Finlay, who is 6, and mum and dad. He lives in a house with a garden so he can play football, which he does often, and he has his own bedroom. His mum and dad work and have their own businesses, which can give them a little bit of freedom regarding setting their appointments around spending time as a family. It is considered a safe and loving environment.

Jonas is a quiet, timid boy. Yet this is perhaps not always recognized by adults that meet him for the first time. His smiley face and big curly hair can give the impression of a confident child. Plus, as a talented footballer, he can play with quite a swagger. It is easy to think of him as a relaxed, calm little boy.

For as long as his parents can remember, Jonas has always shown empathy to others. This can lead him to worry or to become concerned over matters out of his control. Since learning about events in the Bible, he gets very upset for Jesus at Easter time. And he won’t watch Home Alone at Christmas as he gets fearful of the bad men attacking the little boy. This has been a cause for poor nights sleep at times.

And then, just a few months after he turned six, Covid happened. The lockdowns turned this little boy’s world upside down. For the natural worrier, this event was a major setback. His parents too, like so many people, had to find ways to overcome this crisis that had never been encountered before. Unable to work, bills still arriving, concerned for elderly loved ones and with two children unable to see their friends, Jonas’ parents had to dig deep within their resources. They were, however, determined to keep some amount of stability in the most uncertain of times. As a family they would do the Joe Wicks morning workouts, watch BBC Bytesize to help with their children’s schoolwork and go for regular local walks.

But Jonas stopped responding to these daily tasks. He would take himself away for hours at a time to watch TV on his own. He wouldn’t talk about his feelings. A walk was met with a groan and even playing football in the garden rarely happened. His brother, Finlay, also became less motivated but, perhaps because of his younger age, he didn’t understand the magnitude of what he was living through. Jonas did. He overheard many times about ‘death counts’ on the news. Something that his parents would try to hide or mute, but being in the house together for months at a time it wasn’t always easy to keep the news and the daily updates and announcements away from listening ears. And as the laws kept changing in regards to bubbles and the like, his parents had to keep on top of the latest developments.

Eventually, Jonas developed a number of ticks that he couldn’t control. The one with the most impact was a throat clearing tick. He struggled to complete sentences due to his need to clear his throat and his sleep suffered further. This continued when he went back to school and his parents informed his teachers. Jonas’school has been amazing in dealing with the children’s anxieties. His parents are thankful for the school’s ongoing support. Jonas’ ticks still exist, but take on many different forms. His latest one, which is to smell his hand, is less intrusive to him and his classmates.

As has been outlined, Jonas is a very clever and thoughtful boy. He is very aware of his surroundings and the world in which he lives. Since the last lockdown, world events such as the trouble in Afghanistan and the problems in the Ukraine are concerning to him. He has welcomed lots of refugee children and he and his brother also volunteered at a Christian charity to sort out clothes for them. But these unsettling events have led to Jonas believing that any aircraft flying overhead might be going to war or are here to drop bombs. Armed forces day was a particularly tough day for him.

But his parents have always offered reassurance and allow Jonas to express his concerns. His parents are both in the health and wellbeing industry and understand the importance of talking about how we feel. Recently, they introduced meditation to their children. This seems to be a very successful tool for Jonas. Now, almost every night, Jonas requests a meditation guide before going to sleep. His parents have observed that his sleep has never been so good and he can now relax much easier throughout the day.

Jonas remains a little distant from his friends. He didn’t want to do Zoom calls during lockdowns, for example, and perhaps while his friends were still building on their relationships through staying in touch in this way, Jonas might have lost some ground in this area of development. He does seem, however, to be a well liked boy and doesn’t appear to have issues with any other child.

Jonas’ appetite for meditation comes from the empowering nature of the process. During his guided visualizations he has travelled on a cloud, rode on the back of a giant white bird, went to the moon on a space ship and played at the play park with his favourite teddies. Which child wouldn’t want to imagine these lovely thoughts? This process puts them as the central character of this wonderful story that they can develop themselves. They are in control and in a world where some of our children might feel that they have no control, or might feel sad or have worries, empowering them when we can might play a significantly positive part in their mental health, their character development and in their learning as it is for Jonas.

For those of you who are unaware, Jonas is my son. Jonas and Finlay are the most beautiful boys who are two well behaved children. Yes, they bicker, they don’t always tidy up after themselves, they don’t always follow instructions and they do all of the naughty things that you’d expect from 6 and 8 year olds. But they have good hearts and are very kind people.

Now is the time to start recognising our children’s needs. Sometimes we might just need to listen to them. Perhaps they just need a kind word of encouragement. But most of all we must provide a safe place, a sanctuary, in which they are able to open up and allow them to explore their feelings and emotions without them simmering deep inside. As with adults, blocking our emotions can be damaging. Imagine what a child goes through without their maturity to deal with perspective or a clear thought process to channel their feelings.

All of our children deserve to be given every opportunity to be happy. To live without constant fear. To have a safe environment in which to develop and learn. Jonas comes from a safe and stable home, but many children don’t. If we can give them just a small piece of tranquility, shouldn’t we do it?