Why?

Why…adverb…for what cause, reason or purpose. Why did you do it?

Merriam-webster.com gave me the meaning of the word why on their website. Nothing that we didn’t already know really, is it?

And yet I’m not sure that many of us use it enough. I hear lots of motivational speakers and psychologists telling their audience to say ‘yes’ more or sometimes even ‘no’. But maybe we should be saying ‘why’ more.

My kids are very good at this. ‘Don’t do that.’ I’ll say. ‘Why?’ Is often the reply.

‘Because it is dangerous.’

‘Why?’

‘Because you might fall.’

‘Why?’

‘Because it is not safe.’

‘Why?’

‘Because the tree branch is 200 years old and ready to snap and the rain has caused bacterial wetwood that makes it slippy. Plus, you don’t have the appropriate footwear and the A&E waiting times are horrendous at the moment and I don’t fancy a day in the hospital sitting with the all day drinkers.’

I never get to say that last bit. It’s usually more like ‘Just get down!’

But I don’t want to take their inquisitive nature away from them. And they’re kids who want to climb trees. I’m sure that there’s a grainy photo somewhere with me in my shell suit hanging from a branch. So asking ‘why’ is perfectly acceptable.

I ask myself ‘why?’ regularly. Sometimes it just gets me out of bed. Or it enables me to do the gym session I’ve been putting off that day. It makes me push myself in my work and I strive for better for my family’s future. It keeps me hungry. All because I reminded myself of my why.

When I am talking to a potential client wanting to train with me I ask them why they want to train. I get the usual type of answers which are totally acceptable to begin with.

‘Id like to lose a few pounds.’

‘I want to lose my belly.’

‘I want to gain some muscle.’

‘I am entering an event.’

All of these require another why. And perhaps another. And another.

I train to stay trim…why? To look good in a T-shirt this summer…why? Because I’m conscious that I’m not getting any younger…why? I have had injuries in the past and I know that age could cause these injuries to be painful in later life…why? I began training many years ago to fix my injuries which helped my mental health too…why? Because I felt more confident, strong, pain free and I became a better person…why? Because I knew that I was giving my future self a chance to live comfortably which would provide a happier life for my family too.

Because I knew that I was giving my future self a chance to live comfortably which would provide a happier life for my family too.

This became my why.

Mark Twain said,”The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.”

It is the most enlightening thing there is to find your why, your reason, your purpose, your trigger.

Losing a few pounds is a credible goal, but it happens so much easier if you know your why. Your why is the ultimate goal. And as long as you keep reminding yourself of it, good things happen along the way to achieving it.

You need a good reason to lose a few pounds. If you don’t have one, or if it’s to please somebody else for instance, you have no real motivation to lose a few pounds. Even if you do there’s a good chance that you won’t keep it off. Motivation is just a fleeting emotion, your why lasts forever.

Keep that child like inquisitive mind and keep asking ‘why?’

And keep asking. And asking. And asking. And when you find your why, you will find your way.