I walked up to my 8 year old son’s wardrobe with dread. I knew, as soon as I opened the double doors just very slightly a heap of clothes, football shirts, teddies and toys would spill out. As much as we ask him to tidy his bedroom we know that anything on the floor will get thrown into the wardrobe if he can’t find a home for it. We also tackle the cupboard often too. For some reason I’m the nominated football shirt sorter. My wife is the school uniform organizer. There are so many different football shirts so I feel like I’ve got the raw deal here . I put them in their correct place either folded for footy practice the next day by his bed, in his wardrobe or in his younger brothers drawer if they are small shirts. And if they have the shirts to match then the same procedure has to happen for them. The socks too.
But I can’t put all of the blame on our son’s lack of tidying up skills. Also inside of this wardrobe is loads of old clothes that no longer fit the boys. The tractor t-shirt that they both wore as babies, mittens, dungarees, shorts from their first summer holidays, coats from a few winters ago. I remember their first ever snowman that they built in those. I think that this wardrobe would be much more organized if mum and dad could just let go.
We’ve got so much better at not hoarding so much stuff. We’re both sentimental so selling or throwing our kids clothes can be tough but we do have periods in the year where we have clear outs. Certain coats, mittens and dungarees always remain though. They have special memories that we just can’t let go it seems. A tatty old Baby Jake book will always be remembered for the late nights getting our eldest to sleep as a baby. I knew the book by heart. How could we throw that?!
Funnily enough I’m not sentimental about the big, life changing stuff. I’m from Leeds and I moved away about 14 years ago. Apart from fleeting visits to see family occasionally I have no desire to go back. I have not once considered going back to the Corn Exchange for old times sake or standing at the steps of College of Technology all teary eyed. Stepping back in time seems daunting. But for some reason, the feather that my son picked up when he was one and a half remains at the bottom of the takeaway drawer in the kitchen. My mind pictures the moment every time I see it.
I have always wanted to reinvent myself in some way. Standing still or looking back doesn’t sit well with me. If I’m not happy with something I move on. I won’t dwell on the things that make me anxious. I didn’t like my birth name so I changed it. I don’t like where I live or work then I change it. And for the ultimate challenge if I don’t like my body, I change it. Selling up and moving on has come easily to my wife and I. In our 15 years together Scarborough has become our 5th town or city and we’re living in our 6th house. And that’s not necessarily because we disliked where we lived but because we found a new challenge elsewhere.
I have gone from a senior in a day center, restaurant manager, confectionery business owner, market stall holder, support worker, Personal Trainer and now Online Coach in the time that my wife and I have known each other and I know that she has played a huge part in those successes. She has her own success story. As for the failures we take them on the chin and move on.
I proposed to my wife in the Boboli Gardens in Florence. During that trip we created a travel journal and collected receipts, napkins and photos to put in it. Of course, we still have that. Looking back through that feels like a life time ago. I felt young and free spirited. Now, I often feel old with the occasional glimmer of free spirit! But that glimmer comes from my job as a husband, a dad and to my work and while I have those then that glimmer will always be there.
And if it’s an old tractor T-shirt in the wardrobe or a feather in the takeaway drawer that has to remind me, then they are worth keeping.
Never Give Up PT 