Thanks to the invention of my wife’s father, we now have a darts board. It is currently in the courtyard area of our house, but will eventually be a part of our ‘bar’ area for guests.
This bar area is the old chicken coop of the property and will feature the dart board and bar billiards table inside, along with seating. It will be partially open roofed but protected during winter months. Surrounded by orange trees, the name we have come up with is ‘The Orangery’. But this changes daily, so stay tuned.
Anyway, we’re hoping to have this open for this summer, but the work is extensive, and on top of what other stuff we have to do, it might be a project that gets finished for next year. Either way, it’s probably something that the A New Life In The Sun want to film, so it’ll have to fit in with the logistics of filming like everything else has had to!
I’ve found out this week that my eldest, Jonas, is rather good at darts. Today he beat me with a double eight finish. Finlay, his younger brother, also has good ability. He just needs to grow a little.
But Jonas seems to have this natural ability to be very good at any sport that he tries. I’ve already spoken about his football successes, where he played an important part in a successful team from the age of 5. My wife and I would also watch proudly as he often came first in his school sports day competitions. He seemed to be able to run faster, jump higher and throw further than most kids. I’ve just found out that he can throw a dart more accurately than his old man who has played darts for the past 30 years.
Most parents let their kids win, but Jonas is killing me. I’m hoping that one day, he’ll let me win at something.
When I enter the gym with a goal, it is a goal with many different aspects. I can’t pin it down. I want to maintain weight management, strength and mental wellbeing. That’s just the same as 30 years ago and will probably never change.
But if I get the little things right, then achieving the above can be fairly straightforward. So, about those little things…
I want to improve my grip. A better grip can lead to personal bests by lifting heavier or for longer. Same with my breathing. If I remain in control of my breathing then it undoubtedly helps with a tough set. I want to discover new exercises and therefore experience new challenges that will put my body under a different kind of stress. These are just a few examples of the little things that, put together over time and with consistency, will get me the big goals.
I want to get a message to anyone who set out a new year’s fitness goal, particularly those of you who have any ideas of quitting. Get the little things right.
Any grand resolution such as weight loss (by far the most requested goal in January) needs all the little things in place and working consistently if you are to reach your goal. And most people who don’t reach their goal don’t reach it because they give up, lose direction, become demoralised and get bored.
So, with what I’m about to suggest, I didn’t mean to get too technical when I start blabbering on about grip improvement. That is a personal thing to me, and, well, I make it a priority to my clients. But there are lots of little things that can be undertaken in order to really tackle those new year’s fitness resolutions this year. So, whatever the goal, here’s a few little tricks to keep you focused.
Write your achievements down. I used to go into the gym with a pen and a notebook to write down new bests for all of my programmed routine. If I had curled for 15 with a pair of 12k instead of the 10’s, I would document it. It works the same for cardio based equipment too. If you have rowed your furthest on the rower in the given time then write it down so that you know your future targets on that exercise. Indeed, with your phone at hand you can write your notes on an app and also take a picture of a cardio machine screen.
Aim to try your best, but know that every gym routine will not be a day of new personal bests. Life just isn’t like that. But also know that every routine is very useful. Footballer Eric Cantona said,”I prefer to play and lose rather than win, because I know in advance I’m going to win.” If you turn up, you are winning, even if it doesn’t always feel like it.
Put healthy options at the forefront of your mind. The best way to do this is to create visual triggers. I have recently gone a few weeks without making a fruit smoothie. It has always been a staple for my wife and I every morning, but somehow with pallets of stuff still coming over from England, the Nutribullet smoothie machine had been pushed right to the back of the cupboard to make room for new stuff. Instantly it became out of site, out of mind. The box of Celebrations, however, have lived on the kitchen table all over Christmas. You can try organising your kitchen so that healthier snacks are at hand. Also, don’t even give your gym kit time to get comfortable in a draw. Lay it out ready to pack into your sports bag or put straight on.
Think. Yes, think more. Meditate more. Pray more. Walk and observe nature. Whatever you prefer. Lay in a hot bath, lock the door with a good book (not a screen) and simply have some quiet time. As long as you give yourself time to think it doesn’t matter how you do it. This keeps your focus sharp, rather than the days bogging you down.
And lastly, enjoy it! Exercising towards a goal shouldn’t be a slog. Well, not always. It can be difficult to find the motivation in getting to the gym on a cold, dark morning or evening. And then there’s actually finding the time to get there. There’s no doubt, the gym has lots of equipment and it’s great when you find like-minded people in a class, but if life has got in the way and you don’t have the time or money, then there are some fantastic home routines that can take just 20 minutes without loads of space or equipment needed. If you start becoming frustrated by missed gym visits and feel down on yourself then it is the first sign of giving up on your fitness goals because you are not enjoying it.
I hope these ideas can really help you to stay focused on your fitness journey. Let me know how you get on!
So, what was 2024 for you? Was it a year of questions or a year of answers?
For me, 2024 was most certainly a year of questions. Big questions. How could I handle living in a new country? How could I deal with a house buy, a building project, a new business? Could I settle my kids in a new foreign school? Can my wife and I survive the stresses? Can I manage to put my ‘happy face’ on for the cameras.
But I’m hoping, goodness, I’m hoping (!) that 2025 gives me answers.
I’ve been thinking about the quote by Zora Neale Hurston over the past few days, in which she said,”There are years that ask questions and years that answer.”
My thoughts on recent years took me as far as 2020. This was a year, for so many of us I would imagine, that asked tough questions. But I have noticed a trend because 2021 was one that cleared my head and started to deliver answers once again, if only in part anyway. The gyms reopened and my business could recommence. My wife had also started her own massage therapy business which quickly became very popular in the centre of Scarborough.
2022 flipped again to become a year of questions. Whilst my wife remained steady in her business, mine was stagnating. A few clients remained from pre-covid but the gym I was at never got their numbers back unfortunately. It had also decided to give the members recorded fitness classes which obviously didn’t require a live instructor. This us something I’m seeing more and more in larger gyms in the UK and just can’t help but think that members are just a number to them. There’s no personal touch. I know many of my class participants enjoyed the social aspect of classes. Having a chat with the instructor before or after and generally feeling a belonging. That is taken away with pre-recorded classes on a screen.
Prior to covid, our thoughts were very much fixed on moving out of the uk. Yes, there was a longing to be living back in the European Union but it had always been a dream for us as individuals before we met each other and then as a family. Covid had set us back financially so plans were put on hold, but 2023 we came up with the answers, swiftly putting our house up for sale and employing solicitors to assist in the visa applications and starting a business in the EU.
Oh yes, 2023 we had answers. We were so focused on this that we felt untouchable. We were asked many times,”What if your house doesn’t sell.” Or “What if your visa is rejected?”
Our answer was, “It won’t.” That’s how committed and confident we were in the process and our strength and abilities to carry this off. The reality was that our plans could’ve fallen off the edge of a cliff at any point that year, but we had answers that we told ourselves over and over that soothed our minds. “We can do it. We WILL do it.” Special mentions are required around now to thank those who gave me and my family somewhere to live in England while we were in limbo. And a great friend gave me some work working with kids in summer sports camp. I’ll be forever grateful.
But once we got to Portugal, 2024 became a year of questions once again. Mostly set by us. Just like our positive mindset helped us get through the previous year, the gremlins crept into our mindset a little during our Portuguese house purchase and business set up. We had the building work to the local accommodation house. A forest to clear. Children to settle into a new school and new lifestyle. Budget stress. And with a camera crew filming it all and a production team asking even more questions, last year was tough with some incredibly difficult questions to face.
But on the first night of the year, during a bout of man flu that had me awake most of it, I had time to think. Thinking is a luxury over Christmas with family visiting and two excited kids. It occurred to me that my year of questions were last year. This year, it is my year of answers. I don’t think that Zora Neale Hurston meant that it would be exclusively one year of questions and then one year of answers, but there has certainly been this pattern for me. At least I hope so.
There will be what looks like more filming to come. The production team are already in talks with us about their spin off ‘Revisited’ programme, where they film the progress we have made. But I feel a lot more head strong to deal with that now. I know the expectations of me. And likewise in other aspects of my life. I know what we have to do to our business to succeed. I am producing answers again. Answers that for many months I struggled to find, either due to the ‘out of my depth’ feeling or simply not knowing the expectations of, well, anything!
This time last year when asked what would be achieved by the end of the year I had to say ‘I haven’t a clue!’ And yet, if I were asked it right now I’d be able to give a more detailed account of how life might look like fir me and my family.
I’d have answers. Because it’s the year for it.
Here’s to 2025. And remember, even if you are faced with lots of questions this year, you will find the answers.
The year began with us on the hunt for a house to buy in Sertã, Portugal. We had moved into rental properties in the area at the back end of October, so it was a difficult time to view properties with Christmas looming and two excited little boys. However, in February this year, we bought our home and business property.
It wasn’t exactly the dream home. It was an old farm house with plenty of work to do on it. But it did tick many boxes. It had land so that the boys could play in the forest surrounds and we could create our picnic and meditation areas as lou and I had always wanted. It had outbuildings which we could create rented accommodation, a gym space and a massage treatment room. Our Portugal House was ready to be regenerated into our perfect home.
The One With The Family
The hardest part of the move was fretting over our children’s wellbeing. It had to work for them or it simply could not work for us. They started in a Portuguese school at the beginning of the year. Moving to a new school as the new kid half through a school year is tough enough. But add to that a different language and new cultural expectations, it was massive for them. I’m so proud of them. Their language skills have overtaken mine, even though I’ve been learning Portuguese on an app for over two years and they have immersed themselves into their new lives.
The One With The TV Program
The filming of the English TV show A New Life In The Sun began in February to catch the beginning of the renovation to the ‘little house’ which would be our rental property. This will be aired in January next year. The added pressure of being filmed was difficult and the interviews and filming time frames did make the renovation tough to manage, but there are no regrets. I guess we will call it a tick off the bucket list now that we’ve been on telly!
The One With My Own Personal Mental And Physical Health
The move has come at a price in regards to our mental wellbeing. Physically I’ve remained very active but I’ve done very little formal exercise, which is the type that I really love. But, as I say, this process has been physically demanding so I still feel fit and strong. Mentally, though, not having the time out or the equipment to pursue my favourite pastime has been difficult to accept. It has always enabled me to ‘fix’ problems and I can think much clearer. I know, though, that this situation was always going to be a possibility. After all, literally everything that I had in England was dropped, including my personal training business and gym membership. Starting from scratch was always inevitable and would take time.
The One With The Final Message Of The Year
We wanted an experience that we could look back on and say, “We did it! Look what we achieved!” And so far we are sure getting that experience. It’s come with many laughs and proud moments, but also a good deal of stress and tears too. This experience simply would not be the full package without the lows too. One cannot look back on moments and be proud if there has been no challenge or adversity attached to it. Good things that happen in life, fulfilling dreams and hitting goals aren’t fun or worthwhile if they’re easy. So we chose not to keep things easy knowing that the pitfalls were huge, but the rewards were even bigger.
As we enter another year of working towards our personal, my only advice to my readers are that they take a moment to reflect on what they would like to achieve in 2025. It could be a career move, a financial situation, a relationship, a fitness goal or a trip to somewhere special. Whatever it might be, just remember that there will be tough moments in achieving your goals, but if they’re special enough, then the feeling that you will get once the pieces start fitting into place makes I all worth it in the end.
Have a happy, healthy and prosperous new year. See you all soon.xxx
Being a personal trainer and wellbeing coach I see lots of interesting motivational quotes on my feed looking for me to engage in clicks etc. I must admit, I enjoy reading an uplifting quote now and again and they can often make me think. But it’s important to recognise that, like every bit of advice or literature, we don’t always have to agree with it. We can disagree with it or at the very least question it.
Now, it’s difficult to disagree with the ‘seize the day’ sentiment that many of them focus on. And the one I read this morning about ‘the higher the fruit the sweeter it tastes’ is a reference to reaching for the sky and making each day count. Sure, what’s wrong with that?! Nothing. It’s a pretty standard target for anyone wanting to get shit done for the day.
But I’m going to add my version of it, too. You see, sometimes you just don’t feel like climbing to the top of that bloody tree for the sweetest fruit. Making your way to the tree and picking the low hanging fruit can be all that you can manage that day. And sometimes that might be just enough. You can then at least say that you’ve done it. No climbing for the sweetest stuff, but goodness, as you opened your eyes this morning you didn’t even know if you could leave the house. Praise yourself for the smaller stuff, too, not just the days you feel like climbing mountains and ripping up trees.
I used to enjoy a gameshow called The Cube. A contestant would be locked inside a large cube and given tasks to do in order to win money. Once the contestant had been given their instructions on how to complete the task for each round, they had an option to ‘simplify’ the task for one round only. So once they asked The Cube to simplify that particular task, The Cube would make the task that little bit easier. It could have been, for example, a bigger hoop to throw a ball into.
So, for all of you reading this right now, how many of us have wanted to shout out ‘simplify’ into the universe and hope that just a little part of the day could be a tad easier?
Life can be overwhelming.
So…’The higher the fruit, the sweeter it tastes’ can be changed to ‘We can get distracted when we climb to the top of the tree before we get the stuff that’s easiest.’
Remarkably, despite the things going on around you in the world, there are lots of things that can be made easier for yourself that you have total control over. And if you are feeling like you are burdened by having to climb high each day I would suggest that you take a few quiet moments to think about what small steps you can take to make each day a little easier.
Some time ago I had a trainee that was determined to get his personal best at a bench press. This had been on his mind for a few days leading up to his session with me. He was pushing 120k for 6 reps. Impressive. But he wanted 125k on this particular day. He came into the gym fired up, but also jittery and nervous. I knew that there was a good chance that he wouldn’t achieve his PB that day. He was overthinking it. His breathing was short and not controlled. His form would let him down. I’ve been there before. I went for sheer aggression over any sort of form or finesse. But, with my spotting, I had to let him try.
On this particular day, as I suspected, the sweetest of all fruits were too high. He failed in his attempt. For the remainder of the session, I told him to look at the fruit that was right in front of him.
We picked up the lighter dumbbells, we worked with machine assisted weights, I reminded him of his breathing patterns on his eccentric and concentric phases and we focused on how to engage the core area of the body.
This seemed easier to him. I think, at the time, he might have felt like he hadn’t achieved what he wanted to from the session. But I told him to repeat this session on each training day for the rest of the week until we met up again.
The week after, when he walked into the gym, I knew that he would achieve his PB. He had followed my advice and he was full of confidence. And not only did he reach a 125k for 6 reps, he added two more reps to make it a PB of 125k for 8.
It’s the simple stuff he had to get right. His core focus, his breathing, his foot positioning. He had the strength all along, that was never an issue, but he had forgotten all about the low hanging fruit because that sweet fruit way up high seemed so tempting!
I haven’t got a catchy quote to add to this message, but I would say this…
If you are finding something a bit overwhelming today, take a step back, do the easy stuff first, stay calm, breath, take one thing at a time and simplify it.
Can you believe I actually got my wife to take a picture of me with some low hanging fruit just for this blog?!
I like to look at the world a bit differently. It’s what inspires me to do things that don’t necessarily fit with the norms. For example, I was inspirational to a few maybe, but mostly bonkers to many who found out I was dropping everything I had done and achieved in England to move to rural Portugal.
Indeed, selling my house, giving up my business and taking my kids out of school to hop on a plane to Portugal with no house, job or school to go to was a little different. But I put my trust in tomorrow. I heard it coming. Ok, now I sound completely bonkers! Let me explain.
I’ll start with a quote from David Bowie. He said,”Tomorrow belongs to those who can hear it coming.”
If you know anything about Bowie then we can understand what he meant by that. From characters like Ziggy Stardust and Aladdin Sane to talking openly about gender fluidity and racial injustice in the 70’s and 80’s, he was always one step ahead of social norms. This was further proven when Jeremy Paxman asked Bowie about his opinion of the internet back in 1999. Bowie said,”I think the potential of what the internet is going to do to society, both good and bad, is unimaginable.” He went on to describe it as an alien life form that will crush our ideas of what mediums are all about.
Well, he wasn’t wrong, was he?
And even up to his recording of his final album, Blackstar, Bowie always knew more than the rest of us. He didn’t have super powers, he just heard tomorrow coming.
It’s possible to hear if you listen hard enough. But why would you want to?!
Tomorrow is a day that can bring hope, ideas and value. And to some extent, if you can hear it, you can prepare much better for it which can mean fresh hope, new ideas and better value to your life. And, seeing as it’s close to a new year, one could say the same for that too.
I heard tomorrow coming and as bonkers as it might sound, with a great deal of determination and preparation, moving to another country with no home, job or school wasn’t too bad. My wife and I planned daily what we would do as soon as we set foot off of the plane. We had planned it daily for some time. In fact, we had heard tomorrow coming for years.
So it might seem like I look at the world differently, but maybe I’m just keeping an ear to the ground… Bowie style.
It’s coming up to three years since I started blogging. December 13th 2001 was my actual first one. Perhaps my ability to write in a professional way or using my words in a more creative manner hasn’t improved much, that isn’t really up to me to judge. But it wasn’t ever really my intention to showcase my writing skills. There are many skilled bloggers and writers whose work I read that are expertly done.
I simply wanted to write something of a journal. Something that, occasionally, someone would read and identify with. Maybe give a piece of advice, either for the reader or my future self and make someone laugh or think.
My favourite place to write was in the gym. In-between sets I’d write another paragraph or two. The gym has always been my thinking space. But for the past year I haven’t had that space due to my move to Portugal. With the upheaval of buying a house and setting up a new business, my moments of sitting on a workbench and finding the headspace hasn’t been easy. And anyway, I don’t have a gym at the moment.
I always knew that this would be my biggest challenge. Despite my unhappiness of living in a place where I didn’t want to be, there was a part of my life that would be left with a heavy heart.
The sea at Cornelian bay was always a pleasure to look out to. Good for the soul. The gym of course, with my trainees and friends who I would see almost daily in there. It was like a community. I also helped out with coaching at schools and holiday clubs which gave me a great sense of achievement at making a kids day a bit better. And then there’s family of course.
I don’t have one bit of regret in regards to my move to Portugal, but it doesn’t mean that I can’t miss things from my previous life either.
This month was my birthday. My dad had planned a trip from England to visit for a couple of days. This would be the first time I saw him in just over a year. We talked, laughed and ate too much in the restaurants. The boys loved his visit. They were so excited. Unfortunately, despite November being a very sunny month so far, he seemed to bring the British weather with him! So it rained a lot.
I’m still working to get my gym space in order so that I can train and write my blogs in-between sets, but it hasn’t quite happened just yet. It’s all a process. I keep reminding myself of how far we’ve come to create what we have already. It’s all a process and I need to be patient. But in the meantime, I’ll leave you with a few pics from the past week during my dad’s visit.
The front of our property has been a bit of a dumping ground since we bought it. Old mattresses, kitchen sinks and rubble have littered it for months whilst the builders have been around.
But since they left and we are now an operating guest house and wellbeing centre we have been busy tidying it up and creating something more eye catching than a building site for our guests!
Below are a few photos of the progression we’ve made. The urns are broken, but we positioned them so that it isn’t obvious. The plants are succulents that will hopefully thrive all year round. We used a sprinkling of stone dust before putting down a layer of decorative pebbles and the rocks are all from the original building that is now the guest house!
At last it’s an entrance to our property that we can be proud of.
I randomly watched an interview from 1997 with Elton John the other day where he mentioned seeing Elvis months before he died. Elton was worried for Elvis with how he looked and wasn’t surprised when he heard that Elvis had died not long after.
Shortly after this news, Elton made a massive decision himself to seek help for his lifestyle. In his words in this interview with Oprah Winfrey he said that he told those closest to him and professionals that he needed help
“I need help. Those three words are so important. And once I said those words I never looked back.” Elton said.
Yet those three words don’t always have to come at your most desperate times. Unlike most of us, Elton John, as he admits in the interview, had wealth and a fame that enabled him to be surrounded by people that told him daily how great he was. His career, selling millions of records, was confirming his popularity. But that could not stop this urge to almost self destruct. He said those words just in time and maybe Elvis didn’t.
It doesn’t matter who we are. Whether we are successful in our job, exercise, meditate or pray daily, have a loving family and supportive friends, become one of the most famous names in the world. The need to say “I need help,” sometimes is important.
But rather than saying them just in the nick of time, perhaps we need to learn to say them more regularly. Maybe we need help with a work deadline or organising an event that seems to have bogged you down. Or it could be something even smaller like asking for help with a bench press at the gym or reaching for an item on the top shelf at the supermarket!
Yes, it might seem trivial, but the burden of always having to come across as so friggin’ perfect all the time is actually a breath of fresh air. And this perfection seems to be something that we have to aim for these days. We have to be seen to be saying and doing the right thing all of the time because we get judged by strangers, colleagues and social media.
The other month I was looked at rather strangely as I said that I needed help changing a car tyre. A man who had obviously had lots of experience in changing car tyres did it very quickly. But for a moment I became quite self conscious that, as a man, I should have been able to do that. But that is, in fact, bollocks.
I have helped rehabilitate Team GB athletes from serious injury, I’ve successfully structured fitness programmes and healthy eating diets for hundreds of people and I’ve supported many people with mental health issues. I consider myself to be quite good at all of that. Sod the society that says that my masculinity is questioned because I can’t change a tyre. I’m crap with a drill as well but I don’t worry about it anymore. I just ask for help from someone who is better at it than me like my wife.
Now, whenever I ask for help, I can feel a tension release from my shoulders. That’s where I feel the stress the most. It travels into my trapezius, my neck and finally my head. And whether it’s a big problem or a small problem, asking for a little bit of help can stop it from manifesting. And when you surround yourself with the right people, it’s amazing how many people are happy to help.
Never Give Up PT 